An Even Greater Sin

Chapter 14: ... and the future is a dream

Leia Organa paced the confines of her cabin, anxiously waiting for news. Luke was later than he'd projected- she had asked him to contact her as soon as he dropped into realspace, and she had hoped that his visit with Yoda would be as short as he'd expected.

Han was off somewhere, patching things up with Lando. After the successful rescue, he had changed, somehow- transforming from one person to another.

She liked what she had seen of the change.

What frightened her more was Luke. After Bespin, it was almost like he had grown cold, distant, nervous and troubled. It seemed that Luke grew less pleasant to be around just as Han became more tolerable.

Losing his hand had been part of it, she knew- but there was something else... something bleaker.

She was startled out of her morbid reverie by a subtle beeping from the panel on her wall. Rushing over, she pressed a button and tried to behave in a dignified manner.

To her great relief, it was Luke. He gave her a hint of a smile. "I've missed you."

Odd. He said it like he'd been gone a long time. "What took you so long?" She found an unwelcome trace of hostility in her tone, and tried to soften it. "You told me you'd be back five hours ago."

A sigh transmitted through the speaker, and even on the low-resolution screen she saw a weariness that her friend didn't even try to hide. "I can't tell you yet. I promise, I will as soon as I can. But I'm okay now." With a rueful, weak grin, Luke continued, "There's so much I need to tell you, but I have no idea how to."

"You can tell me anything."

"Not if I'm having a hard time coming to grips with it myself." He shook his head, and his lips were pressed into a harsh line. "I'll tell you as soon as I can. For now... just try to let me be."

Han Solo was normally not the type of man to let his emotions show. But the Princess had rushed to the hangar, where Han had been working on yet another modification to the _Falcon_, an angry scowl on those lovely features, and Han, being Han, had asked her what was wrong.

"Something's happened to Luke. I just spoke with him, and he's hiding something. Something big."

Carefully, he inquired, "What do you think it is?"

Pacing in front of the _Falcon_'s ramp, Leia balled her fists, and hissed, "That's just it. He won't tell me what it is, and it's eating him up. He says he wants to tell me, but isn't ready to accept it himself yet."

Taking Leia's shoulders in his hands, Han placed a quick kiss on her forehead. "I'm sure that the kid's just got a lot on his mind right now. I mean, I'm not sure if I'm ready to accept the whole Jedi thing. Heck... maybe it's just the Jedi thing. Who knows with them?"

"It's not the Force, Han. It's something- or somebody. Something is making him change."

"Maybe it's Vader."

Vader. His name made her blood burn. "Why would Luke hide anything he knows about Vader?"

"Because he's still not ready to know it himself. He'll only be able to admit it to other people if he can admit it to himself." His argument made sense, and she knew it. And he knew she knew it.

"Do you think he'll be okay?"

"That kid may be young, but he's got a decent head upon his shoulders, and he's got guts. He's got it where it counts, and I think that, in the end, he's got more of a chance of winning this war than any of us. And it ain't because of Jedi powers, either. He's got heart. He'll make it." He wrapped his arms around her small form. "But he needs us to believe in him."

Her chocolate-brown eyes rose to meet his, and he smiled earnestly, all pretense of cynicism gone. "And I'm not gonna let him down. Are you?"

With a firm shake of her head, the Princess grinned warmly.

Their comlinks beeped, and they took off for the 0600 meeting with High Command.

Exhausted, Luke slowly descended the ladder to his fighter, ruffling out his helmet-hair and stripping off his flight suit. Underneath he still wore the clothes he bought on Coruscant- more proof that he hadn't been dreaming.

His body was no longer aching uncontrollably. He hadn't been electrocuted for long, and he thought that there would be no major trouble with the side-effects. His skin was no longer burned, and the bruise on his face had gone down in swelling until only a faint red mark remained.

Tossing the flight suit casually into the cockpit, he glanced around the hangar. Only the mech crews remained. Even Han and Chewie were both away from the Falcon. Glancing at his chrono, Luke cursed. Rushing to the war room, he heard voices.

"General Solo, is your strike team assembled?" So Han was now an official member of the Alliance.

"Ah, my team is ready. I don't have a command crew for the shuttle."

The howl of a Wookiee.

"Well, it's gonna be rough, pal. I didn't want to speak for you."

"General- count me in." That voice was Leia's.

Bursting into the war room, Luke offered, "And I'm with you, too." No matter what the mission was, he had to be with his friends. And after his involvement with the Bothans during the battle of Kothlis, he felt he had a fairly good idea what this mission was about anyway.

Leia rose to embrace him, concern in her deep eyes. She asked, "Luke, what's wrong?" He held her, but frowned.

"I asked you to please let me have some time." With a minute nod, she backed away.

Other friends, then, came to greet him. It was like seeing the faces for the first time. He had been twenty years away from them. He smiled as warmly as he could. "Hi, Han. Chewie."

Han had a strange look on his face, but it was oddly compassionate, accepting. Chewie gave a "hrrrrrrn" of affection, and Luke smiled at both of them. Even with his heart aching like hell, his friends- his family- could give him hope. He entered the circle of the war room, listening to the rest of the planning. He could get the details of their mission later.

Leia looked Luke over, noting a strange new energy within his step. He was tired, but he wasn't letting it interfere. Depression lay within his blue eyes, but so did a new spark of light... and a form of strange wisdom.

Whatever had happened to him since they parted over Tatooine, it had left him ready to face the future.