Frost's Soulmate

Author’s Note- The song I use here is an old song by Matchbox Twenty in the days that they were still Tabitha’s Secret?. The song is “Dear Joan.” It’s a very fitting Deacon/Raven piece. I’ve cut a few lines out to suit my purposes but I’ve left it mostly alone.


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I’ve Almost Forgotten


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“Dear Joan, I’ve almost forgotten
The pane in the window, the blue dress in the doorway”

~*~

It was funny. He didn’t miss her at all that first week. Or the second. The anger kept him going he supposed. He didn’t allow himself to feel anything but the anger. When Ash or Quinn tried to find out what had happened he would snap and growl. Quinn backed off easily but Ash did so only when threats were involved. The young lamia was clearly worried about his friend.

He told himself the third week that he had simply gotten used to having her and Mr. Whiskers around. He didn’t miss them. He couldn’t love the little tramp. By the fourth week he was anxious and starting to worry that maybe she gotten herself hurt or captured. He was even starting to get angry at himself over his reaction to her news.

~*~

“Dear Joan, help me remember
The face I forgot, and the traps that I’ve sprung”

~*~

At the second month he posted a reward for her return citing her as a runaway slave. Later that month he changed it to include any information on her whereabouts. It paid off but by the time he sent someone she was gone. By the fourth month Mary-Lynnette had discovered that she was pregnant. Deacon had requested that she get a test done and reluctantly the made vampire complied. The baby was Ash’s.

~*~

"To tear your heart, from the inside to the outside
You know I was wired, I just couldn’t help it
The hundred thousand times I hurt you”

~*~

The two were a different sort of vampire than he was, he told himself. Simply because they could breed when it shouldn’t be possible…. He stopped those thoughts whenever they would start. The baby wasn’t his. It was completely impossible. Raven had simply slept with another man. Only, she was with him every night, by his side when she wasn’t with Mary-Lynnette and Ash.

These thoughts would drive him crazy if he let them. She had been the one stable loving thing in his life and he had ruined it quite effectively. So he kept telling himself that he was right. He had to be right. Even if he was wrong how could he have known?

~*~

“Dear Joan, I wanted to say, I’m sorry for the screaming last night, and the nights before
I’ve wanted more from this than anything I’ve ever known, Dear Joan”

~*~

It was the dreams of their fight that haunted him. He could see himself screaming at her calling her a slut over and over again. He could see the pain in Raven’s blue eyes as she tried to explain and begged him again and again to stay.

~*~

“Dear Joan, your face has a brightness
That I’ve never seen, in the years that I’ve known you”

~*~

“You okay, boss?” Quinn asked as the two entered one of Deacon’s clubs.

“Wonderful,” Deacon lied. “Any information?”

“Nothing,” Quinn said nervously. He hated seeing Deacon so unhinged. Deacon was the only friend he had, the only other vampire that would put up with him. When the girl had left Deacon had slowly become more and more moody. Mercury had even joined in the search for Raven. The girl had done a great job of disappearing. The two grabbed a bottle of whiskey and began to polish it off

~*~

“Dear Joan, I’d pick up the pieces
But some scattered too far, they flew when I kicked them”

~*~

“She was pregnant,” Deacon told his second in command after finishing half the bottle. Quinn’s eyebrows shot up. “Fuckin’ pregnant.”

“Like ML?”

“See, she told me. She was so fucking scared, she was shaking, but she told me. I called her a slut and told her to get out of my home.” Quinn didn’t respond, but he was starting to understand why she had run away and hidden herself so well. “She begged me to listen and I told her I’d have her thrown out if she didn’t leave.” He laughed humorlessly. “So she left.”

“Deac-” Quinn sighed. “We’ll find her.” Now he wondered. He had been on Deacon’s bad side on occasion and it was scary. This girl didn’t have the experience in that that he and Mercury had. He wouldn’t be surprised if she had run as far and fast as she could with no plans to ever let Deacon near his child.

~*~

“You stood by me patiently, waiting and brooding”

~*~

“You know I’ll cut your balls off and stuff them down your throat if you breathe a word of this,” Deacon said his tone conversational.

“Yeah,” Quinn agreed. With that Deacon stood and walked out taking the bottle with him. Quinn watched him go before sighing. If Deacon’s enemies or rivals ever got wind of this he’d be targeted by all of them as would Raven and the kid. With a start Quinn realized that Raven might have given birth by now.

~*~

“So deeply in love, with every face that I’ve shown”

~*~

Deacon walked down the street watching the lights flicker off the water left by a recent rain. He had noticed a subtle swelling in Raven’s belly the last time they had made love and wondered how far along she had been. He sat down on the stoop and started across the street. She was gone; he accepted that. He would never stop searching for her but he had accepted that she would never come back to him.

~*~

“Once I forget, twice I’m a fool
Three times I wrap my hands around you neck”

~*~

Was she still pregnant or was she caring for their baby by herself? A baby that was half him and half her- the thought was terrifying. As much was he ached to see her again, to hold her and apologize, part of him wondered if perhaps she was better off gone. Their child could be raised without his caustic influence. He’d only ruin the kid.

He wasn’t sure if he could survive without her but he knew that she was better off without him. The child was definitely so. He wouldn’t know what to do with a kid if he had one anyhow.

~*~

“Dear Joan, I wanted to say, I’m sorry for the screaming last night, and the nights before
I’ve wanted more from this than anything I’ve ever known, Dear Joan”

~*~

The months she was gone quickly became a year, which rolled into two, which turned into three. The time went by and he heard nothing. No one had seen her or heard anything about her. He upped the reward often but no one responded. He was about to give up when he got a phone call from a young witch.

~*~

“Dear Joan, I wanted to say, I’m sorry for the screaming last night, and the nights before
I’ve wanted more from this than anything I’ve ever known, Dear Joan”

~*~