Not My Diagnosis

A month is a long time to not see someone, though not unusual for us. Not even a passing thwart, though my criminal life wasn't thriving. I had spent time trying to find enough miscreants who were willing to pull off a set-up; drug-dealers with nothing better to do. I had gathered around seven at that point and had made contact with a Czech drug dealer; an important man. This would be fun enough, and if it didn't draw his attention then he must be dead--I certainly left enough hints.

I waited several stories up in a parking garage, in a white van, doing nothing but listening to the irritating nattering of the men I hired. The problem with doing 'the right thing' is that it always took too long. The other vehicle finally pulled up and I watched them out of the rear-veiw mirror--I wanted to just kill them all and be done with it. No. Trying to do things right.

The Czech drug-dealers poured out of the SUV; quite a lot of them. The back doors opened, Rottweilers whining as they pulled a sniveling man out onto the pavement. My men all exited the van to greet them, leveling the playing field visually. "Look what your drugs did to my customers," their leader exclaimed, his thick accent accompanying his forceful gesture towards the man.

"Buyer beware," I stated, climbing out of the back of the van. "I told you my compound would take you places... I never said they'd be places you wanted to go."

"My business. Repeat Customers!"

"If you don't like what I have to offer you can buy from someone else." I stepped forward more and pause. "Assuming Batman left anyone to buy from." Their dogs cut me off as someone else entered the field, hidden by shadow, but not in scent. We both looked around nervously, but I knew what was coming. An innate part of the act I suppose.

"My dogs are hungry!" He yelled in a nervous attempt to dissuade any unpleasantness, his sharp turning a dead giveaway to his real demeanor. A dark figure sat in the distance behind me and he chuckled. "Pity there's only one of you." One of my drug dealers disappeared behind the van, immediately drawing the Czech's attention. His face paled as more figures appeared just before a shotgun blast sent them scattering.

"That's not him," I muttered, turning back towards the van and slamming the back door. Gunshots turned the garage into a deafening mud--I should have expected the dealers to go trigger happy. A poor miscalculation on my part, I just hid near the driver-side door, waiting for things to settle again.

As bullets reached the side of the van I concluded it was time to get in, but as I tried, one of the impostures came up behind me with a pistol and attempted to apprehend me. I sneered and turned quickly--my reputation, obviously, not proceeding me--and blasted him with hallucinogenic. As he fell to the ground there was a large crash and the omnipotent vehicle to match skidding to a halt. "That's more like it." All bullets turned towards it followed by a brief silence before the tank demolished parts of the compound and then someone's car. I used the opportunity to jump into the van and see if I could escape in the confusion; a bit of coyness. On second though it seemed an inappropriate time for a reunion--things were getting a bit heavy.

I could see him in the rearview mirror as I started to pull away, but he was distracted with a Rottweiler just about his size. I threw it in reverse and whipped it around just right to slam into him, though he stuck better than expected. He started to slice through the hull with some ridiculous gadget, but that was quickly remedied by an approaching pillar.

I barreled down the levels, hoping it was fast enough, but with all of the distractions bested it wasn't long before I was stopped dead in my tracks, or rather, nearly killed as he crushed the van nearly into the concrete. He jumped down and yanked me out of the driver's side door, holding me up by the lapels as he was ept to do. "What do you think you're doing?"

"What you asked me to. Just luring out some crime for the 'good guys'." I just smiled, though he couldn't see it through the mask.

"You could have been killed," he growled as he lowered me, and I just stared at him--he couldn't be serious.

"I've had worse... from you even."

"This isn't a game!"

"I disagree." He frowned deeply and spun me around, pulling my arms back behind me. "This isn't really an appropriate place-"

"Don't have time." He wrapped my wrists in some flimsy rope and tied my arms to my sides with it, escorting me back up to the original floor with his grappling apparatus in a manner not so gentle. He threw me down against the concrete barrier and proceeded to apprehend the imposture batmen. He proceeded to rip my mask off and paused, watching my eyes; I knew he couldn't resist. I just smiled at him, knowing there was nothing he could do.

He quickly looked away to one of the other men. "Don't let me find you out here again," he warned, keeping his gaze averted.

"We're trying to help you!" One of them declared, surprisingly indignant.

"I don't need help!" He declared as he climbed into his tumbler.

"Not my diagnosis,"I hollered after him.

"What gives you the right? What's the difference between you and me?" The one next to me defied again. His jowls gave an annoying impediment to his speech.

"I'm not wearing hockey pants," he called before the machine closed and sped off. I waited until he was gone before standing up and sighing, walking away from the apprehended men.

"Hey! You have to help us!" He was awfully mouthy.

"Actually, I don't have to do anything." I said without pause.

"Why do you get to go free?"

"Executive perks." I bit my lip at the thought, but kept on, wandering down the levels.

I came out onto the street, the lamps flickering with dying breath. I can't believe he tied it so tight. There was movement in the shadows, a familiar prowling posture and a brief glimmer. My back hit the brick wall to my left, cold steel threatening my trachea, a heavy hand on my chest. The air filled with a sharp cologne and the mocking eyes of a madman watched mine. "Didn't your mother tell you not to go out after dark, sweetcheeks?"

"No." I raised a brow in a bit of frustration, the invasion of personal space causing my fingers to twitch over the trigger on my wrist.

"Lighten up, puss." He giggled in that sick way he does and spun me around, pushing my face into the wall. His hand palmed my thigh and I attempted to deploy my aerosol weapon, but my fingers curled into the bite of his blade. "You don't think I survived this long by being stupid, do you?"

"I can't seem to reach a conclusion regarding such." His fingers slid up my to my hip, tips curling around the cleft near my groin.

"The Batman has a credible weakness," he half chuckled as my arms fell free. I took the opportunity to turn around with a full force punch to his jaw. He stumbled back laughing and holding his face.

"You'll be lucky if I decide not to kill you, you idiot."

"I've always been the lucky one," he giggled again, I'm sure still reeling from the blow and whatever sick pleasure he gains from it. "You seem so tense lately, buttercup. What's the matter? Not getting your two full servings a day, hotpants?"

In inhaled sharply and walked away. "I'll take the fact that I'm still alive a 'thank you'," he called after me. "See you in the funny-papers!"

I turned the corner several blocks later and followed a dark alley. Finally alone. The city was quiet; not dogs barking, no people screaming, no cars moving. I suppose he's finally done it. I started walking again, no strange men creeping around, for the most part. A strange serenity crept through the air and I found myself at Mr. Wayne's tower again. Of course, I couldn't help but think of the incident, but it seemed like so much time had passed. Coming to see him would have made it worse.

The doors were locked. I wandered around to the side of the building until I ran into the fire escape. A carefully placed trash can and some gymnastics made it an easy entry. I scaled the metal stairs slowly, floor after floor of office space passing with a quick check of the windows until... a careless error. The window slid to the side and I stepped in, closing it slowly and locking it behind me. The room was dead and dark. Perhaps this would make a better study in the middle of the night.

I slowly made my way through, enjoying the secure silence, the elevator light gleaming at the end of the room. The noise was startling as I pressed the 'up' button, the serenity disrupted by the cold movement. It hummed methodically and pinged gently as the doors slid open. I stepped inside and tried my luck at the top floor. It complied and up we went.

It stopped and opened, revealing the city of Gotham, twinkling below a towering rooftop. I walked out to the edge, the bitter wind causing my skin to tighten. Maybe this is where his faith comes from. I suppose it's much easier to see the city like this. My chest clenched as another draft came up and I turned to the door across the roof, briskly making my way to it to find it locked. "Well that's a stupid idea." If only Nightmare were here. Doors that open out were not my specialty. I lined myself parallel to the door and delivered a couple of somewhat effective kicks to the knob, finally breaking it before my foot. The door shook loose and I made my way down the flights of stairs before coming to another door. It opened into a closet and the into the main hall of Mr. Wayne's new office, or what looked to be.

Across the way was a spiral staircase, and the room looked still enough to cross. I'm not sure why I didn't think he wouldn't have security, but it turns out he doesn't need it, or want it. I carefully made my way up the stairs and came to a glass lined room looking out over the city, a nice white couch staring out over it.

I guess I'll just wait for him. Only what do I say. I sat down on the couch and pulled my jacket off, removing my shoes and laying down. The city was beautiful when you're above it. Maybe he just wanted me to share his sentiment. Maybe I'll just stay up here. Maybe.


{{Well, it's wrapping up. I think the next chapter will be the last. I hope people are still reading, and I hope you like this chapter even though it's missing some 'interesting' parts. Thank you all for the wonderful reviews and I hope the end of this particular story won't be the end of your reading of my work. I know a lot of you were waiting a long time, and I'm sorry, but it will be done soon. I'm thinking about printing them out and sending them to anyone who wants them, but I suppose I have to finish "An Unintentional Coincidence" for it to be complete. I hope that doesn't sound conceited. I guess I'll finish that next. Sorry, I'm rambling. Enjoy and look for the next and final chapter soon. If you have anything you want me to write, feel free to let me know, but I've got a few to finish as well. Thinking maybe Nightwing/Crane--weird, right?
~Dr. Crane}}