Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me

For everyone's sake, The Joker knew he couldn't stay the night with Eleanor. She was upset about it, but understood and agreed that he just couldn't. There was no way she wanted to risk Elijah seeing the man who happened to be his father. It would be too much, too soon. Maybe one day in the future, when he was older. But not now. The Joker had to leave that night, late, so that the neighbours were asleep. His clothes were still damp, but he put them on anyway, he had nothing else to wear.

Before leaving, he grabbed Eleanor roughly by the arm, pulling her towards him. She let him, his rough touch twistedly erotic to her. He pushed her body against his, nuzzling his face in her hair, his arms around her tightly, strongly.

"To-morrow, Ellie." he said, "One of my men will come and pick you up in the evening, take you to the warehouse. We're gonna go over what we talked about tonight before you go and see The Batmaaan. Oh, and you've gotta wear something reeeeeally...sexy. Think you can do that, bunny?"

She nodded, snuggling into his chest, even though the coat was still pretty damp.

"I'm gonna have to get a babysitter in. Not easy, I hardly ever get a babysitter in. I hardly ever go out at night."

The Joker sighed heavily. "Of course. How could I forget." He lifted her chin up with the crook of his finger, and looked at his lady in the eye. "Ellie." he began, his voice softening into a distinctly un-Jokerlike, much more Jack-like tone. "Before I go. Can I?..." He hesitated.

"Can you what?" she asked, not knowing what he was referring to.

"He's asleep, right? In his room." The Joker said softly. For at least the moment, Jack seemed to be back again. He was talking about their son, the little boy he had never been able to see for a good reason.

Eleanor opened her mouth to say something, but she didn't. She blinked, and swallowed hard. How could she deny him just one small look at his sleeping son? As long as the child stayed asleep, surely it was fine to let his father have a quick look at him.

She nodded. "Okay. Just for a second. But you've gotta be very quiet. I don't want him to wake up and be terrified of you."

The Joker smiled. Eleanor led him to Elijah's room upstairs, and she checked on him first, to see if he was completely asleep. She pushed the door of his room open, and tiptoed in. The nightlight was on low, casting a warm glow over the boy's face. He was definitely fast asleep, lightly snoring, surrounded by teddies and toys all over his bed.

Eleanor turned and motioned to The Joker, who was in the hall, to come in. He lightly stepped in behind her, and looked over at the sleeping child in the bed. His child. His little boy. He took another small step closer to the bed, gazing in awe at his own flesh and blood. Somewhere in there, The Joker DID have a heart and emotions. Buried deep, deep down under the monsterous exterior and the flamboyant, obnoxious, personality he had taken on. There were now two things which tugged at his heart. His woman, and his son. The two people he would never, ever hurt.

He ran his hand through his damp curly hair, feeling actual emotion filling his usually very cold heart. Eleanor could see he was transfixed by the little boy, his body language had changed and he looked visibly moved. She reached her hand out to him, clasping his hand in hers. "Come on, let's go." she whispered, knowing it wasn't wise to stay in the room any longer, incase they woke Elijah up.

He followed her back out again, and she gently closed the door behind them. Outside Elijah's room, The Joker pulled Eleanor into his arms, tenderly holding her.

"He's beautiful." he gasped, closing his eyes. "Ellie...I've let you both down. Fuck. Look at what I've got now. A beautiful woman, and an amazing kid. And...I can't have either of you. Not really. I've spent years fucking people up, and I could've had it all so differently!"

Eleanor looked up at him. "But you still can." she whispered, "We can, we can sort something out, I mean...we can get through this. Right?"

The Joker shook his head. "You left me the first time because you didn't wanna live this life. You didn't want the kid to live this life. You made the right decision, bunny. NO kid should have to live with a monster as a father. I know that better than anyone. I hated my father."

Eleanor felt her heart break. Her eyes started to tear up. What was she going to do? When he was The Joker, he was crazy and deranged. When he was Jack, he was like this - sweet, caring, emotional. Her head was spinning...she was so in love with both sides of this man, now matter how twisted the logic was. The sight of him hurting, was hurting HER too.

She grabbed his coat collar and shook him hard. "I'll do anything for you, okay? Anything! We'll get through this, Jack! Maybe you can change? Maybe you can...I don't know. I just don't know, okay? Jesus Christ! You come back into my fucking life and lead this whole path of destruction, all over again! What gives you the right to fuck my head up a second time, huh? I HATE you! You fucking bastard!"

With that, she angrily swiped his face, slapping him hard on his scarred cheek. Her nail caught the raised edge of his scar, and it stung. The Joker hung his head, his hair falling into his face. He didn't even want to react. He couldn't bring himself to argue with her, or fight back. He was ashamed of himself. He slowly turned away, without a word, walked down the stairs, and quietly left the house.

Eleanor stood still in the same spot in the hallway, feeling intense emotion bubbling under the surface. She slumped down against the wall till she landed on the floor, and hugged her knees as she sobbed softly to herself. What was happening to her? The Joker had messed with her mind so much over the last few months, that she was actually empathising with him now? How totally fucked up! She racked her hands roughly through her own hair, gently crying. How on earth was she going to get through each day now, being head over heels in love with this dangerous, psychotic, nut job?

"I love him. Shit, please help me! I can't live like this..." she whispered out loud, wiping her tears on the back of her hand, and rocking back and forth. "Somebody...fucking help me."

The Joker was breaking her down slowly but surely, and she was becoming a mess inside. Her ability to cope with her emotions and her thoughts was slipping, as she was sliding more and more into dangerous territory by being part of The Joker's murky, dangerous underworld. This wasn't the way things were supposed to pan out. Things were getting serious, and now it was really scaring her.