Not Done Yet

Bruce reluctantly followed Jack down the stairs. As he headed toward the door leading to the garage, Bruce grabbed his arm.

"What?" Jack asked in annoyance.

"Come here." Bruce led his bruised and bloodied lover to the downstairs bathroom, found a washcloth, ran some warm water, and began gently cleaning the smeared dried blood from the Joker's face.

The clown stood impatiently as Bruce finished swiping at the coppery stains, and started to pull away as soon as he was done.

Bruce held his arm securely.

"Are you ok?" he asked, surveying the minor visible damage with a critical eye.

"I'm fine! Shit, Bruce, you've done worse to me plenty of times, you think I've turned into a pansy or something?"

"I just...I didn't...."

"Yeah, yeah, it's ok. Hell, normally we'd be fucking our brains out after a round like that, too bad Alfred was in the room, huh?" he grinned.

"No, lucky for you...lucky for both of us.... I kind of...lost my temper," Bruce admitted, ashamed.

The Joker looked at him in surprise.

"Damn. Is this an apology?"

"N-no, well, yes, I mean...I mean, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that."

"That's right! Look, let's forget it, huh, big guy? We have somewhere to go, remember?"

"Ok." That was one thing about the Joker--he didn't hold little things like bodily injury against a person.

They headed to the garage and Bruce unlocked one of his less showy vehicles. The two men took their seats, and Bruce drove out of the underground garage onto the street.

"All right, where to?"

"Murray Street, at Yale. On the east side."

Bruce stared at him.

"Murray Street? That's miles! How the hell...Jack, have you been stealing cars?" Bruce asked, disturbed, as he stepped on the accelerator and made his way down the street toward the highway.

Jack looked at him mildly.

"It's not stealing when you bring 'em back..." he answered reasonably.

"Bring them back...you've been taking my cars??"

"Well, you've got, like, fifty, or something! It's not good for cars not to be driven once in a while, I was doing you a favor!"

"A favor! Which ones did you take?"

"Uh...well, I'm partial to the older models, they're much more interesting...."

"The classics? Oh, my God! You didn't hotwire them, did you? You could have damaged them..."

"Oh, no, no, no. I used a key," Jack assured him.

"A key? How the hell did you get a hold of the keys?"

"Easy. I found out where Alfred stashes 'em."

"He's supposed to keep them locked up!"

"Oh, he does...."

"And, all those cars are alarmed!"

"I know! That's what made it interesting! It was quite a challenge, let me tell you! It's a good thing Alfred drinks a cup of tea every afternoon...."

"What...do...you...mean?" Bruce asked menacingly.

"Well, he would have probably noticed me messing around out there in the garage if he hadn't fallen into the habit of taking a little nap around that time in the afternoon...." Jack's eyes were dancing with mischief.

"You've been drugging my butler?"

"Relax! It's an herbal concoction, it's good for him! Lots of calming ingredients..."

"Jack, when we get back, we're going to have a little talk."

"We are? Is it going to be one of those, uh, ouch-y kinds of talks like we had earlier?"

"I would imagine."

"Fair enough," Jack said dismissively as Bruce shook his head in aggravation. Why was he surprised?

They drove in silence except for occasional directions from Jack until they turned down an old city street that was just beginning to enjoy the effects of gentrification at one end, but became shabbier and shabbier as they went along. Finally, Jack said "Turn in here," and Bruce pulled into an old, unused parking garage. A chain was draped across the entrance; Bruce stopped and Jack hopped out, did some business with the lock, and dropped the chain to the ground.

"You're just a menace, you know that?" Bruce asked in disgust. The Joker grinned.

"Park on the floor just below the roof."

The car snaked up the levels to their destination. The pair got out of the car, and Jack gestured to Bruce to follow him. Mystified, Bruce did as he was told, and was surprised not to be getting danger vibes from his surroundings. They walked up to the roof and Jack led Bruce to the retaining wall that faced the street, where he assumed a sentry-like pose. The branches of a very large old oak tree gracefully fell before them, providing a perfect cover for an observer--or a sniper, Bruce thought worriedly as he joined the Joker.

Bruce quickly took in the features of the area, and found that they were in a perfect position to survey the entire street. But, there were no banks, jewelry stores, government buildings, or other establishments that typically attracted the Joker's interest, just a row of old brownstone apartment buildings and a convenience store at the corner.

"Ok, Joker, this is your big chance to convince me...what are we looking at?"

"Just be patient, tough guy. What's the time?"

Bruce, disturbed, glanced at his watch. "Two-thirty-five. What are we waiting for?"

"You'll see!" Jack answered cheerfully.

"If anything explodes...."

"Oh, stop it! I told you, no one's in danger. Just cool your jets, will ya?" The Joker straightened himself and peered down the street. Suddenly, a big smile passed across his face.

"Ah...here...we...go..." he said, pleased.

Bruce followed his gaze curiously, and saw an older model compact car making its way slowly down the street. It stopped in front of the apartment building directly across from them.

Bruce watched intently. A pretty young woman with long, dark hair pulled back in a clip and wearing a simple skirt and blouse, got out of the car. Bruce pursed his lips.

"Damn you, Jack, you are cheating on me!' he growled angrily.

"Huh? Oh, hell no, not her!" he spat irritably. "Keep watching!" He gestured back at the car.

The woman strode around to the passenger side and opened the door, helping a young boy with a stuffed backpack to get out.

Bruce's stomach turned.

"No, Jack! Oh, God--you're a pedophile?" Bruce asked in horror.

Jack took his eyes from the child and turned to look at his boyfriend in stunned incredulity.

"What? NO! Jeeze, Bruce, what kind of creep do you think I am?" he wailed, aggrieved.

"Then, what are we looking at?" Bruce demanded in exasperation.

"The boy--he's my son," said the Joker gently, a wry smile on his face.

* * *

Bruce now felt as though someone had punched him in the gut. He couldn't think of anything to say, so he simply watched as the woman and the boy entered the building.

"Look at the window on the third floor--see? He's going to sit at the table and start his homework. Just like that, she doesn't even have to yell at him! Watch...."

Sure enough, Bruce could see clearly through the large picture window as the little boy settled at the table and began pulling books and papers out of his backpack.

"Now, his mom's going to bring him a snack, something pretty healthy, no junk. Usually, it looks like homemade cookies and fruit, but sometimes she does a sandwich and veggies...he doesn't like that, ha ha...."

As he foretold, the attractive woman brought a plate, although Bruce couldn't make out the contents, and a glass of milk. She said something to the blond-haired, slender boy, and he looked up with a beautiful smile, and as of at that moment Bruce had no doubt--the boy clearly was the Joker's son.

"Jesus, he looks just like you...." muttered Bruce.

"Yeah! He used to look a lot like her, but as he gets older he's really starting to look more like me--lucky kid, huh?" Jack snickered proudly.

Bruce turned to look at his companion, still feeling bewildered.

"So...if that's your kid...the woman...his mom, right?...you and she..."

"Uh, yeah, that's how it works, Bruce. I knocked her up, just about, oh, seven years ago, it would be.."

"Shit."

"What?" Jack asked ruefully.

"It's just hard to think of you...reproducing."

Jack gave him an annoyed look.

"Why is it so hard to believe I have a wife and kid?"

"Wife?" Bruce asked, startled.

"Well, yeah, I'm a stand up guy. When she told me she had a bun in the oven, I married her, what's so strange about that?"

"The fact that you never told me, for one! Why the hell didn't you tell me? And, when did you get divorced?"

"Um...divorced?"

"Oh, my God, you're still married?"

"Only on paper, big guy! A mere technicality. You know, it's hard to work out custody details when you've got a restraining order against you...."

"Restraining order...did you beat her?"

"You think I'm a real bastard, don't you! NO, I didn't beat her! She just...took exception to the line of work I was in, that's all," he explained uncomfortably.

"What...do you mean?"

"Well...I was...sort of moonlighting for this guy. He ran an...extermination service, heh. One day, I got a call that Ethan was sick at daycare...."

"Ethan?"

"My son. He has a name, Bruce. Anyway, I had to rush to pick him up, and I took him straight home. I was so worried about him, I forgot that I...kind of, uh, failed to take care of a few details, un-fortunate-ly...later that afternoon, Beth...."

"Beth?"

"My wife. Aw, you're a little slow, aren't you, gorgeous? Anyway, Beth took the car to pick up some groceries, and when she opened the trunk, uh...."

"Oh, lord."

"Yeah, I forgot I hadn't had a chance to dump the...evidence. Aaand, she kind of freaked out. She always was a little overly-sensitive."

"So, she...."

"Kicked my ass out, yeah. Clothes dumped out the window, locks changed overnight, the whole bit...."

Bruce sighed, trying to gather his thoughts.

"So...how old is, uh, Ethan?"

"Six, he'll be seven next month. Hey, what's today, Wednesday?"

"Er...yeah."

"Soccer practice."

"What?"

"Ethan has soccer practice on Wednesdays, karate on Mondays...."

Bruce suddenly got a bit of a creepy feeling.

"Are you saying you've been sneaking out of the house every day to come spy on your kid?"

"NO, of course not! Just a couple of times a week..."

Just then, Bruce noticed the little boy had disappeared from the window, and a few moments later, dressed in a soccer uniform, he was hurrying out the door with his mother close behind him. In the still air of the quiet neighborhood, Bruce was able to catch a bit of conversation..."Ethan! did you remember your shin guards?" "Yeah, Ma!" "Show me!" The boy held up the required objects, then the pair got in the car and drove off.

Jack sighed heavily and the two men were quiet for a moment.

"Ok, let's get out of here," said Jack tonelessly.

They headed back to the car, and Bruce drove out into the street.

They were both lost in thought for several minutes, then Bruce tried to form some coherent questions.

"Jack...tell me about, um, Beth. Where did you meet her? When?"

"Aw...jeeze, Bruce, ancient history...let's see, I was eighteen, she was twenty...I finally decided to try to settle down, get a real job, and go back to school. I was driving a truck for this local delivery service, and she was waiting tables at a joint where I usually grabbed some lunch. We started talking and before I knew it, we were going out. One thing led to another, and bam, she got pregnant." Jack shifted in his seat; Bruce could tell talking about his past didn't come easily to him.

"So, yeah, we got married and lived with her parents for a while, a situation which I couldn't fucking stand...she was going to school to become a teacher. I wanted to, you know, get a place for just us, fix it so she didn't have to slave away while she was trying to get her education, plus take care of a kid at the same time." Jack ran a hand through his hair as though the words were taking a lot out of him.

"I ended up doing some, uh, you know, 'special' deliveries, off the radar stuff, making some extra cash and everything was great. We were really happy. But, the money...it was never enough, you know? A kid needs so many things, clothes, shoes, uh...food....they get sick and the doctor bills add up, there's day care, it just goes on and on."

"So, I gradually got more and more, um, challenging jobs, met people higher up in the organization...the money got better....but...Beth knew things weren't exactly on the up and up. We had arguments, problems...I tried to keep things calm at home, wanted everything nice for the kid..." his voice trailed off and he was quiet.

"What happened after she kicked you out?"

"Oh, well, I was...stupid. I thought she'd get over it, that we'd work it out...I stayed away for a few days, thinking she'd cool down and we could talk, but the next time I went back to our place...they were gone. She up and moved them the hell out! No word, no clue as to where she went. I went to her folks and begged them to tell me where she'd taken my son, but they said she'd taken out a restraining order on me, that I wasn't allowed to get within 200 yards of her or Ethan...I couldn't believe it, couldn't believe she just left...." Bruce heard his partner's voice crack and they were both quiet for while. Then Jack started speaking again, this time his voice was raw with emotion.

"I never even got to say goodbye! Who knows what she told him. I guess Ethan thinks I just...forgot about him, or something. Abandoned him. I figured out where they were, eventually, and she refused to have anything to do with me, the bitch wouldn't even let me see the boy, to tell him I loved him, nothing....she threatened to have me arrested if I came anywhere near them... I just kind of...went nuts, you know? Really had a few lost years there...did some crazy stuff, well, you know."

"Was that why you wanted to, you know...kill yourself?" Bruce asked softly.

"Aw...there was a lot of stuff, I mean, that probably tipped the scales....throwing my crazy ass in Arkham saved my life, not that that's anything for you to be proud of, huh, Bats?"

"Well...I don't know about that. But...when did you start...."

"Watching them? After I ditched the loony bin, I tracked 'em down again. I was...you're going to think this is bad, but...I was going to take him. I mean, probably not really, but it was an idea I played with...I could have just picked him up from school and headed out of town, maybe leave the country, start over....but, obviously, that wouldn't have been smart. It wouldn't have been good for him, I mean, I guess he loves his mother or something. Grandparents. Friends. I couldn't give him any of that." Jack bit his lip thoughtfully.

"And, I wasn't exactly in a position to provide a stable upbringing, right? Plus, I was busy keeping an eye on you, too...." He shot a rueful grin at the driver before continuing.

"I was so afraid Beth would take up with some creep, you know, some piece of shit that would make Ethan's life hell...I didn't want him growing up that way, you know? Not like I did. I wanted to protect him....So, at first I was just going to drop around once in a while, keep an eye on things. But...it was so good to see him again, just to see him, how tall he was getting, whether he was turning into a dork or not...the more I watched, the more it got to be like I was still...in his life. I know that's pathetic. It's sad, it's lame, I...I know. But, I couldn't help it. I just missed him so much...."

"And, at least that way you could be sure he was all right," Bruce mused, trying to put himself in Jack's place.

"Yeah! I mean, how do you go from taking care of someone from the time they're a little baby, doing everything for 'em, to...nothing? It was too hard...." Jack's voice broke and Bruce waited while he gained control of himself.

"I really liked being a daddy, you know?" Jack said softly as he gave Bruce a pleading look, hoping for understanding.

"I liked holding him, rocking him, playing ball with him. Even the tough stuff, diapers and cleaning up vomit and all that....I didn't mind. I guess I was a lousy husband, but I think I was a pretty good dad. He seemed to like me ok...I just miss him...."

The Joker stared blankly out the window.

Bruce felt sad at the story, even though his mind was still squirming with jealously and hurt from being excluded from this important part of Jack's life. He was quiet for a moment.

"So, why didn't you ever tell me about him?" he asked kindly.

"I...wanted to. But, I kind of tried to block it all out of my mind, make it stop hurting so much...and like I said, I didn't want you to know how pathetic and weak I was being...."

"Loving and missing your child isn't weakness. It's...normal."

"Yeah, I guess so. But, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not normal. Things start buzzing around in my head, and I...I just do things. But yeah...I shoulda told you."

"And, Beth? You loved her, didn't you?" This thought in particular jabbed at Bruce's brain.

Jack shrugged.

"Well, sure, at first...I mean, she put up with me for a while, I have to give her that."

"She must have loved you...."

"I...I guess, for a while. She got over it."

"You love Ethan...."

"Yeah...."

"Do you....do you still love her?"

"Aw, come on, what kind of question is that. No! She took my son away from me, I'll always hate her for that."

For some reason, Bruce felt slightly better. Then, he grinned teasingly at Jack, hoping to lighten the mood.

"I don't know how I feel about being involved with a married man."

"Wow, Bats, I'm an escaped mental patient, and you're worried about my marital status?"

"Good point. Look, Jack, there must be something we can do..."

"About what?"

"About you getting to see your son..."

"Oh, no you don't! This is why I made you promise...don't try to fix this, Bruce, it's hopeless. He's better off without me, anyway. Things are fine just the way they are."

"Things are terrible the way they are! You can't continue to spy on him like this, sooner or later someone will spot you, and you'll get arrested again...think how bad it would look, they'd say you were stalking your ex or something. You don't want to go back to Arkham, do you?"

Jack gave Bruce a stressed look.

"So, what am I supposed to do? Just forget about him? I...I can't."

"Let me think about it. There's got to be a solution...."

"There's not. I told you, this isn't any of your business, just leave me alone. I won't get caught...."

"What happens to you is my business! Please, promise me you won't come over here any more. At least, not until I've had a chance to look into some things...."

"Come on, Bruce! As long as I'm wanted, I can't do anything legit about this....just forget it, you shouldn't have gotten mixed up with me in the first place...."

"I have to agree, but I did, and now...I want to help."

"Great. Always the do-gooder...."

"There're some possibilities. Let me work on this."

For the first time in a very long time, Jack felt a stir of hopefulness, but immediately pushed it aside.

"You'll just make everything worse."

"I'll try not to. Trust me, Jack. Please?"

The Joker gazed at his handsome lover and a sad smile crossed his face.

'I'm not any better at that than you are. But...ok. I'll try. I'll try."

Bruce pulled into his underground garage, parked, and immediately pulled Jack into his arms, wanting to give--and receive--comfort.

"We'll figure something out," he whispered in Jack's ear assuringly.

"Sure, Bats. Sure," he responded cynically.

They held each other for a little while, then got out of the vehicle.

The pair walked back to the big, empty house in silence.