An Even Greater Sin

Chapter 15: The terror's silent...

Luke's mind was whirling with an immeasurable amount of conflicting thoughts and emotions, each one more intense than the last.

Death Star. Palpatine. Vader.

Part of him was sick at the thought of being anywhere near the Emperor who had corrupted Anakin so deeply- who had defiled himself so cruelly. Luke couldn't get the images, the sensations, the terrible memories out of his head, except by thinking of something else.

He intentionally filled his heart with reminiscent dreams of Anakin, of the way his body felt pressing against him, of the powerful Force-rhythm that the other man exuded.

There had been a trace of that emotion, that link, when they had fought on Cloud City. Luke recognized it now, and shivered to think of joining Vader as something even more than Father and Son. As equals, and as bonded companions.

Luke had retreated to his cabin aboard the Rebel command ship, and now lay, crushing a pillow in his arms, wishing that it was a living form instead. He wasn't quite depressed, but he wasn't happy, either. He had no idea how to describe what his heart was giving him at the moment. And he wasn't sure if he found it pleasant, either.

His daydreaming about Anakin wasn't turning him on physically- his body was still far too sore and tired to become aroused. It was doing something more to him, filling him with a kind of strange combination of dread and longing. What he needed now was companionship. Someone who would understand.

The Force granted his wish as he heard a gentle chiming. Not even bothering to rise, Luke telekinetically activated the door switch.

It was Leia. "Luke, please, open up to me." She sat on the edge of his bed, and he flopped the pillow behind his head as he sat up. She offered him a steaming mug of stim-tea, and he gratefully accepted it with a mild smile.

"Thank you for worrying about me." He avoided answering her so far unspoken questions. "It helps me more than you could possibly know."

"Well, I can't help but worry. You're so distant, so quiet. What happened to you?"

He cringed inside, though kept his composure. "Leia, I told you I'm not ready to tell anyone yet."

"If it's something the High Command needs to know-"

He held up a gloved hand, shaking his head. "The HC shouldn't worry about my love life."

"Your love life?" The surprise was clear in her dark eyes.

Lightly chuckling, Luke nodded. "I know this might seem sudden, but I've fallen in love."

She reached out, placed her hand on his as he held the cup of tea.
"That's wonderful. Who's the lucky girl?"

He flushed, and glanced away. "It's a man."

"Oh." With a slightly naughty snicker, she ruffled his hair. "Is he cute?"

"In his own way." He was glad she was taking this calmly. And at least she hadn't expected him to still have that vague crush on her that he'd had when they had first met.

"So who is he?"

Shaking his head, he murmured, "He's not in love with me- at least he won't admit it. He wouldn't want me to go around telling other people. He thinks it's wrong for me to love him."

"Oh. I'm sorry." Sympathy filled her expression, and he allowed himself to smile reassuringly.

"I'm going to be fine. There's more I have to tell you, but I'm not ready, okay?" Resting his hand on her shoulder, he gave her a light push. "I'm not trying to shut you out. I'm just trying to find the right key so I can open the door."

She stood, and frowned. "I hope it's nothing dangerous."

"All's fair in love and war."

She hugged him lightly, and advised, "Tell him as soon as you can how you feel."

"I hope to."

The _Tydirium_ was a small craft of Imperial design, tri-winged and sleek. It, combined with the code that the Alliance provided courtesy of espionage, would hopefully allow their team to land safely on Endor.

Leia watched as Han pulled them out of hyperspace. She was certain that he wasn't the one Luke had a crush on. The energies between them weren't those of lovers or secret crushes.

She still found it vaguely amusing that Luke was gay. In a way, she was glad, because it meant that she wasn't hurting him, making him jealous by being with Han. However, it concerned her that Luke had fallen for someone who didn't love him in return.

He deserved to be loved.

As they approached the Super Star Destroyer, however, his eyes grew wide with a blind fire as he mumbled, "Vader's on that ship."

Han had tried to comfort him by lightening the mood, but Leia knew that Luke was right. And as he whispered, "I'm endangering the mission. I shouldn't have come," she could sense that he knew exactly what he was talking about.

She had a faint, distant thought, that chilled her to the core, that she shoved away subconsciously. What if her best friend had fallen for her worst enemy?

Lord Vader's eyes caressed the void of space through red-tinged lenses, seeing the small Lambda-class shuttle streaking through the sky. His eyes were not focused on the ship, however. His quarry was within it. The boy.

"Where is that shuttle going?" He knew, of course- he wanted to test the boy, see what answer was given.

"Shuttle _Tydirium_, what is your cargo and destination?"

[Parts and technical crew for the Forest Moon.]

It was the voice of the smuggler, Solo. Even through computer-assisted speakers, Vader recognized it immediately. So the boy was with his comrades. Admiral Piett gauged Vader's reaction carefully before he asked, "Their code is an older one, sir, but it checks out. I was about to clear them. Shall I detain them?"

"No. Leave them to me. I will deal with them myself." And he certainly would.

"Very well. Carry on," the Admiral commanded the technical officer.

Vader returned to his post at the viewport of the bridge, reaching out with the Force to touch his son. His heart ached to make full contact, but he squashed such desires under his heel like the insignificant matters that they were.

Luke's breath caught in his throat as he felt Vader's presence brush over his own. He carefully avoided reacting to the mental caress, keeping his emotions in check. He cleared his mind and his heart, focusing instead on the itch on the tip of his nose.

The boy was hiding himself. Vader was pleased. Although he had sensed Luke clearly, he also knew that the boy's shielding was sufficient enough to evade Palpatine's senses. Perhaps they could both use this to their advantage.

Vader had long ago realized Palpatine's wisdom for what it was- manipulation and treachery. He had carefully guarded his thoughts from the Emperor, waiting for a chance to strike and take everything from Palpatine. Instead, he had focused his rage on other targets, such as Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan was an acceptable person to foist his fury upon. Obi-Wan the traitor.

Obi-Wan who had taught his son to disregard morality.

Vader redirected his anger at Luke, now, to Obi-Wan.