The Second Covenant

Walking normally cleared my head. Standing at this bridge, looking down at the small river beneath me normally calmed me. Something about the wind through the trees, the swift hiss of the water against the banks, the scent of it. It soothed me, gave me peace to think. But today was hard. To many thoughts cluttered my brain, way to many. Nothing short of physically exhausting myself seemed to give me any peace lately.

I leaned my elbows on the stone ledge and looked out, over the water at my reflection. It was distorted by the moving water, making my features blur into one another. The feeling of my skin being to tight had not lessened, my magic still flowed through me, hot and scalding sometimes. Comforting at others. I felt like if I held my hands out over the water, I might see the sparkle of electricity against the liquid. I’d thought my power immense before, but like my dad had so perfectly put it, butterfly wings versus a tsunami.

When Peyton had kissed me, I think I was more shocked than anything, and now that I had time to think about it, I was not sure at all how I felt. I loved him, I had since I’d been a kid, but was it real love, or just love. He’d been there my whole life, watching out for me, protecting me, being a good friend. And not once, in eighteen years had he ever made a pass at me. Or maybe he had and I was just to blind to notice. I looked at the water thinking about all the times he’d randomly hugged me, kissed my hair, pulled me down into his lap for a snuggle. Just because.
But what about Druex? My mind insisted.

I knew nothing about him, other than he had the body of a Viking God, he kissed like one and he looked at me like I was his to devour. Every time the blasted man got within ten feet, hell twenty, something inside me lifted, moved against my insides like the touch of sleek fur. It was scary, and yet it was somehow exactly right. I wasn’t so much afraid of my reaction to him as curious.
I sighed. Peyton was right. I had a thing for him.

With Peyton and I got this funny tickle low in my belly. But with Druex, it was more a shifting of fingers against my skin, like he was reaching out with an invisible hand to caress my skin, burn me with something electric, I would have said magic but I wasn’t sure. I’d never felt magic like that, magic that could turn to lust in an instant. Again my father’s analogy fit perfectly.

All others that I’d been attracted to had been butterflies, even Peyton. Because that was the attraction of a girl. Being near Druex was like a tsunami of sensory overload. Seeing his smile slowly turning into a grin, the way his eyes turned from Siberian Husky blue, to that cobalt flame…it just straight up did it for me. But what ‘IT’ was, baffled me.

The water was not helping me to Zen out. It was making it worse, wondering what it would be like to play, naked in the chilly water. With another warm body wrapped around me. I pictured Druex there first and a rough shudder tore through me. Then I pictured Peyton and instead of being naked, we were splashing around, laughing and playing like kids. Damn, a therapist would have a field day with my brain.

I turned to leave and came up short, one foot hovering over the ground as my entire body froze mid-step. I looked at the pony sized wolf, such a light gray that the only classification of color I could come up with was pure, incandescent silver. It was sitting there, tail curled around it’s huge paws, just watching me. With Siberian blue eyes.

The intelligence in that gaze was a bit unnerving, but I felt no fear. Which made me a little afraid. I’d never seen a wolf this size before. Hell until a few days ago the closest I’d ever come to a wolf was the Zoo in first grade. He, and I just knew it was a he, because seriously, how could a wolf that size not be male? He was just looking at me, looking at him. Patiently waiting, which was just a little bit weird to say that there was something more than just wolf looking out at me from those icy pale eyes. I put my foot down and took a slow breath, in then out and let my eyes wander the huge frame. “Well, anyone ever tell you’re the studliest thing on four paws?” He flashed me a smile, do wolves smile? Well they must because this one was smiling at me.

I took a step back and felt for the stone ledge of the bridge before leaning my butt up against it. I wanted to ask him why he was there, staring at me, but that somehow smacked of a weirdness into which I had not yet crossed. So I just sat there, drinking in this wild sight. He seemed to take my calm as a good thing, rising slowly to all fours as not to scare me, and came closer.

I waited breathlessly, my heart in my throat, not scared, but on edge. Would you be just calm if a pony sized wolf with teeth like razors was sniffing at you? I think not.
I tried not to flinch when his nose gently touched my knee, his eyes never leaving mine. Kind of in that way when you bow to someone on the Judo mat, never quite sure if you’re going to stay still or lash out.

A statue had nothing on me, and I drowned in the fire of his nearly neon blue eyes. He sat at my feet and rested his head in my lap, ears flicking back and forth curiously. “If I touch you are you going to bite me?” His tail started thumping the dirt and stone rhythmically and he snuggled closer to my knees. I guess that meant no.

I saw the fine tremor that ran through my hands, but as soon as I touched his silky, warm fur the tension left me on a sigh of air. Touching his fur soothed me in the way that this river had before. I felt calmer, more centered inside myself as I ran my hands over his ears, my thumbs lingering in that hollow where muzzle met skull, right between his eyes. I had never noticed before that dogs, canines in general had eye lashes. I don’t have a dog, and neither had I been around one in a long time. Things like doggie eyelashes do tend to go overlooked. But the solid neon of his eyes were fringed by two lacy rows of black fringe.

It made those eyes seem so human, so like…Druex’s eyes. It was weird, way weird.
Before I could get to far with that thought, the wolf huffed and lifted his head, looking from me, then around me, around us and then back to me, his ears twitching again. If it were a human, I’d say that look was one of worry, curious. A question. He wanted to know what I was doing out here. “Why am I out here?” I said aloud and his head bobbed.

Maybe this was a witch gift, but none of the witches I knew talked to animals. Of course I wasn’t like any of the other witches I knew. Who’s to say it wasn’t part of my Ascension. I sighed and jerked a bit when his cold nose shoved against my hand. I gave a small smile and acquiesced to his demand for petting. “That’s a good question. Really.”

I looked around me, just looking, totally at ease with a two hundred plus wolf in my lap, staring up at me like a puppy. The trees were bare, except for a few of the older oak trees, cool winter wind tugged at my long red cloak, at my hair. It smelled so clean out here. “I’m trying to wade through a lot of thoughts. This place normally calms me down.” I ran both hands over his head and he gave a soft ruff of enjoyment. “I thought once, that what I was given was a gift. And then I noticed I was different, that there had been no other like me in our entire bloodline.”

Why was I spilling my heart to a wolf? Don’t know but I was feeling better, speaking aloud to someone, even if they couldn’t answer back. “I pretend not to have so much inside me, I try so hard just to fit into the normal parameters of my family and our weirdness…I hate it when people look at me like I‘m a freak.”

The wolf gave a low growl, not one that scared me, but like he was chastising me. I looked down at him and smiled gently. “I am you know, I am the first and only woman in my entire bloodline to carry what I do. Until me it’s been all boys.” I gave a little chuckle and cupped my hands under jaws that could have ripped my throat out in a blink of the eye, felt the strength of sinew and bone, so much power. “I’m enough of a feminist to say about damn time. But it’s hard, just me, the only girl and constantly being hovered over, watched in case I do something wrong or above myself in power. So I just pushed it down, hid my power as much as possible. Hid away all that I could do and in one night, in no more than a few moments, all that came crashing down and the real me stepped out, all glowing and powerful, so much power.”

It rose inside me without a conscious thought and I knew my eyes changed because the wolf in my hands became very still. I looked at him, looking at me warily and let my hands fall from him. “See, you know it too. Animals always know. It’s okay, I won’t wig out on you.” I rose and shoved my hands inside my pockets, shoved that power back inside me, but it was hard, like trying to catch light in a bucket, and then trying to slap a lid on that bucket before the power got out. I moved to walk away from the wolf, feeling more sad than I thought possible. Why? Why was I sad?

I didn’t make it two steps before a huge sliver body wrapped itself around my legs, rubbed against me and calmed that rolling turmoil inside me. The wolf’s back reached my hips, he was that big and he lifted his head to rest it against the middle of my body, looking up at me with those huge puppy dog eyes than only a canine can do and whimpered. I touched him with just the fingertips of one hand and gave a sad smile. “I’m tired of being the only one.” And then I realized why I was so sad.

I was lonely, so lonely that my teeth ached with it. I was surrounded by family who loved me, but were cautious around me, always wondering what kind of rabbit I’d pull out next.
My palm slid over fur and I knelt, burying my face against that heat, that wildness, knowing that at any moment the beast might turn on me, but I’d risk it just to feel this warmth and heat. Just for a little while. Holding Peyton sometimes made it go away, the ache, but not completely. I’d seen the way he’d looked at me when I had let loose my power and held all four of us, plus horses up in a moving circle, plus a squirming rapist.

He hadn’t known the depth of my power, people feared what they didn’t know. And Peyton, Riley and Tristan had all looked at me like they’d never seen me before. “I don’t want to be the only one.”

After a while I got myself together and stood up, hating myself for being so damn moody. Maybe I was going to start my period, then I could blame my moody blues on something. “I should go home before my dad sends out the cops to look for me. Newly Ascended and all, never know quite what I’m going to do next.” I smiled down at the wolf. “You’ll be my secret. But no midnight raids on chicken coops or anything. I’d hate to have to bail your ass out of doggie jail.” He gave me that grin but stayed beside me as I began my walk home.

After a while I realized he was escorting me back and I let my smile deepen, lifted my hand and rested it on his nape as we walked. Just to touch, just to feel all that power, that sheer animal power under my hand, and the brush of his fur on my skin. A word brushed against my mind, like an echo…Pack. Touching him made me feel…safe. Safer in a different kind of way from what Peyton evoked in me. I wondered what kind of picture this would make, little red riding hood and her big bad wolf.