An Even Greater Sin

Chapter 18: ... is the light within the dark

Luke's mind was far away from the stormtroopers as they bound his wrists. He had handed them his lightsaber, knowing that it would be a dead giveaway about his identity. He knew they would take him straight to Vader.

Vader. The idea of facing the fallen Jedi again sent his heart blazing with conflicting emotions and needs. Luke prayed that he was right, that Anakin could be rescued from the tumultuous depths of the blackness that was Vader. Luke had to believe in Anakin, or else he would lose faith in himself.

The stomping of the AT-AT's massive feet echoed his pulse, slow, deliberate, even, but heavy and ominous. Luke tried to meditate, but that presence was too close.

And growing ever closer.

Darth Vader's respirator still sounded unusually harsh as he tried to settle his emotions for the upcoming confrontation with his son. For once, he was completely unaware of the feel of the ship surrounding him, entirely distracted by his thoughts which warred within his mind.

To hurt the boy. To help the boy. To save him and protect him from his own lust. To take the boy, and make him his fellow Emperor.

They could rule the galaxy together, marry and become Lords of all known space. Nobody would have to know their blood relationship.

But the fact remained that Vader would know. And the fact remained that out of sheer logic, Vader had always believed that incest was the only unforgiveable sex other than rape. No cultures in the galaxy had ever condoned incest.

And neither did Vader- no matter what lies his weaker heart screamed.

A cool forest breeze caressed Luke's bare face as the lift opened, but he didn't even notice it. His thoughts were lost on the steel-masked face that seemed to dominate his universe.

Vader forced himself to keep his focus as the commander spoke, telling him of his theory about the location of the other Rebels. Vader assented to the commander's request to search the area, and the troops left them alone.

Alone. The hiss of Vader's breathing apparatus sent chills of both pleasure and terror through Luke's spine as he observed the older man.

"The Emperor has been expecting you." Vader's words were carefully chosen, to avoid showing his true desires. The boy fell into step beside him easily, his voice steady. How could Luke maintain such control over his actions, when he could not?

"I know... Father." Luke felt the twist of Vader's soul as he heard his son make that final admission of his identity. Vader was confused, of that, Luke was certain.

Vader's breath would have caught in his throat from desire and an anguished denial to hear those words, if his respirator had allowed it. Instead, his face contorted within the confines of the mask. Lashing out against his desire to reach out for the boy, Vader merely said, "So, you have accepted the truth."

Luke turned, slowed, halted. Looking up into those abysmal lenses, he asserted, "I have accepted the truth that you were once Anakin Skywalker, AND my father."

Anakin. Vader's memories swam their way to the surface of his mind, memories of this boy crying out that name in lust as they committed hedonistic acts. At the time, he had thought it was out of love. "That name lost its meaning when you defiled it with your unholy screams."

Luke stared incredulously at Vader as he dismissed their past as one of emotionless sexuality. Was that truly how Vader saw it? Luke's heart wrenched, but he continued on, keeping his voice low. "It is the name of your true self. You've only forgotten. I know there is good in you. The Emperor hasn't driven it from you fully." Turning to the edge of the railing, Luke stared out into the ebony forest night. Resting his bound wrists on the rail, he reached out with his mind, his heart, every fiber of his being.

"That's why you couldn't destroy me. That's why you won't take me to the Emperor now." Vader trembled, deep within his core, to feel his son's powerful presence brush up against his, forcefully yet gently. He had to take his mind off of his desires. His genitals didn't react- he had lost all feeling in them from the fire- but his heartrate still tried to bypass the machinery of his life support. He found that the longer he stood there, the more his longing grew.

To distract himself, he ignited the boy's lightsaber, placing the glowing bar between himself and the boy. The color didn't register in his lenses, but it vibrated with a low tone that seemed to enhance his every nerve. He tried to focus, to examine the craftsmanship, and partially succeeded. "I see that you constructed this lightsaber. Your skills are complete." The humming energy of the blade was not helping Vader ignore the resonance between the boy and himself.

He shut it down, and turned away. "Indeed, you ARE powerful, as the Emperor has forseen." The Emperor. He had to remember what he was doing here.

Luke faced his father's back, sensing the dangerous passions raging within him. Vader wanted him, Luke was sure of that. And he wanted to give himself to his father- to help him, to save him, to heal that wounded psyche that called out to him so desperately. He filled his voice with the deepest longing he had ever known. "Come with me."

"Obi-Wan once thought as you do." Obi-Wan. That was a safe subject to think about. His rage at his former mentor would help him counteract the addictive aura of the boy. He thought, now, of how right Palpatine had been, how he had known Luke's identity and been the one to tell him the truth. He hated Palpatine, to be certain, but he still was his servant. "You don't know the power of the Dark side. I MUST obey my master."

Luke shook his head, pleading with his eyes that his father would understand. "I will not turn- and you'll be forced to kill me."

It couldn't be true. Vader had no desire to kill the boy- merely to end the boy's ill-fated delusions of love and lust. But he knew that he would have no choice. Palpatine would see to that. "If that is your destiny."

Luke stepped forward, his soul aching to wrap around the older man. He desired his father, but not out of lust. He wanted to give his father what he wanted. He was bordering on the line of absolute submission, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to help or free his father if he became a slave himself. "Search your feelings, Father. You can't do this! I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your fears!"

His fears? Vader feared nothing- save the fact that his own son would apparently damn himself because of him. Vader feared the boy's love, yes, for it reached out to him to obey, to submit, to permit the boy to love him. But, even more deeply. he feared losing Luke to the Emperor- who could manipulate the boy's weaknesses like a sculptor of souls. Palpatine could warp the boy's lust into something which could destroy both of them. Vader's heart grew cold at that idea.

"It is too late for me... Son." He couldn't keep the tenderness out of his mechanically modulated voice. He didn't want to see the boy enslaved to Palpatine like he himself was, but there was no other way. The boy would join them- join HIM- or die. It was not Vader's choice. "The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force." Yes, cold, dark, fearful and treacherous. Vader hated Palpatine, but he had no choice but to obey. And neither would Luke. "He is your master, now."

Luke gazed sadly into the abyss of his father's mask, and shook his head. Longing to reach out to caress his father's face, he sighed, and murmured with more than a hint of despair, "Then my father is truly dead."

And soon, he would be too.