Gilbert's New Girl

Gilbert called in sick to work the next day, telling his boss that he had flu type symptoms, but if the truth be told, Gilbert was heartsick. Becky was heading home to Michigan that day, and he needed to see her again. ‘There’s things I should have said to her last night, but I was so upset that I couldn’t think straight’ he told me as he stood leaning against the kitchen counter, his arm draped over Tally’s shoulder. ‘And I want her to meet Tally properly and I know Becky wants to meet her, so we’re gonna go over and see her.’ There was nothing I could say; my mind was still reeling from last night’s turmoil. Becky had a brain aneurism that was the equivalent of living with a time bomb that could go off at any time. If it ruptured suddenly, there was no hope for Becky, but even surgery was still very, very risky. She had lived with the knowledge of her possible and instant death for over three years, waiting till she felt Mary Jane was old enough to cope without her. Now Becky was tired of waiting to die, and she felt it was time to opt for the surgery. She had come here to say goodbye to Gilbert because she was afraid that this might be her last chance.

Tally refused to allow Gilbert sink into sadness. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her head against his chest. ‘I’ve got a feeling that Becky’s gonna make it through the surgery’ she said quietly. ‘We just need to have faith that it will all work out fine. You believe that don’t you Gilbert?’ Gilbert rubbed her back gently and kissed the top of her head, but he said nothing. Tally gazed up into his eyes, and slowly he nodded his head. Dear God! It was at times like these that I saw how young Tally was, how life had not yet crushed her spirit and destroyed her ability to hope. And yet, there was a part of me that understood that she was right to feel that way, and that it was Gilbert and I who were wrong to think that we were cursed by bad luck. Tucker always said people made their own luck, which I thought was a crock of shit! I mean, we can’t all live out our dreams, and sometimes things happen that you can’t control. If Gilbert and I had the ability to make our own luck, we would not be here in Endora still struggling to make ends meet; still being looked down on by everyone. And what about Tucker himself? Surely, he wanted more from life than being the manager of Burger Barn? If he was an example of someone making their own luck, he was a pretty poor example! At least Tally was young enough to be excused her endless optimism, but in a man of Tucker’s age, that kind of homespun philosophy seemed ridiculous.

My entire day at work felt like it was passing in slow motion, and all I could think about was Gilbert. I suppose my biggest fear had been that he would just up and leave with Becky, but I should have known better. No matter how much Gilbert had been in love with Becky in the past, it was over now. I felt sure he loved Becky, but he was no longer in love with her. Now Tally was the one who held his heart in her hand, and I couldn’t think of anyone I would have trusted more to take good care of it. Tally was just a young girl but she had an old soul. She understood Gilbert in a way that I had never been able too, but in these past few months she had made me realise just how special he was. Underneath all that smokescreen of a disenchanted adult, there was a little boy still lurking there; a little boy who only needed the unconditional and openly demonstrated love of someone to transform him into the wonderful, loving man I always suspected him to be. I guess on that day, I got rid of the last of my doubts about Gilbert and Tally. I no longer cared what anyone thought of their relationship because I knew it was right for them. Suddenly, I felt free from worrying about Gilbert. He was in safe hands; Tally’s hands.

Back home that evening, Gilbert seemed less anxious, relieved to have had another chance to sort things out with Becky. He had barely slept the night before, so as soon as he sat down after dinner he fell asleep on the sofa. ‘So how did it go?’ I asked Tally as we washed up the dinner dishes. ‘I’m really glad we went, Amy. If Becky had left without Gilbert getting the chance to talk to her again, I think both of them would have felt awful’ she said smiling at me. ‘I mean it’s hard to feel hopeful about things when you’re feeling guilty about not being totally honest, so they needed to get the air cleared.’ She explained that most of the talking centered round Mary Jane. ‘Gilbert told Becky that he felt shut out of Mary Jane’s life, and Becky said that she always felt afraid to let Mary Jane get too close to Gilbert because she was scared of losing her daughter.’ Tally saw the puzzled look on my face, and she shrugged her shoulders. ‘I guess Becky felt that Gilbert would have been a better person to raise Mary Jane, you know? I think she regrets trailing her daughter all over the country. She said she was selfish and insecure.’ I laughed softly and shook my head. I couldn’t think of anyone less insecure than Becky! ‘Oh, I know Becky seems like she’s so confident, Tally went on, ‘but she felt intimidated by Gilbert, by his goodness. She felt like she was bound to let him down because she wasn’t as good a person as he is.’

Well, that was a feeling I recognised. I knew how it felt to live in the shadow of Gilbert Grape’s goodness, so maybe Becky was telling the truth? ‘You know what she said to me?’ Tally asked me, looking into my eyes. ‘She said I shouldn’t feel that way, and I told her I didn’t, at least not anymore. I told her I figured that if Gilbert was a good person and he loved me, then that must mean that I was okay. I told her that his love made me a good person, and she laughed and said I was right.’ Yes! Yes! Yes! Tally was one hundred percent right! I hugged her to me, suddenly filled with affection for this girl who knew nothing but saw everything. ‘Gilbert’s lucky to have you, but I think he knows that’ I said, and Tally, supremely confident as ever, smiled and said, ‘Oh, he knows! I tell him at least once a day.’