Taxes 5 - Halloween / Day of the Dead

* * *

It was the light he noticed first, so bright it made this place nearly unreal, and somehow, also, more real than anywhere else. As before, his eyes adjusted, and as before, once they did, he saw ...

Dark sails billowing, wood sun-drenched and glowing and oh, so smooth...he stood at one of her masts this time, and he leaned his cheek against it. Warm she was and scented like the sun as well. It felt like-

"-Home, right?" Jack Byrd opened his eyes and was unsurprised to find Jack Sparrow before him. Only to be expected, when he stood on the deck of the Pearl. The *Pearl*...

"Yeah. Oh, yeah."

"Afraid nowhere else will ever feel quite as much home as this, me own." The pirate sidled around to Jack's left and then behind him, slid one arm behind Byrd and one behind the mast. "Good thing we carry her with us now."

"Well, she carried us so many years," Byrd replied. "I guess it's only fair."

"Me thoughts exactly."

"Yeah, huh?" Byrd smiled and felt Sparrow smile too. The emotions, the comfort, the joy washed through him and back, echoing both through the pirate and their ship.

//Oh, how I love you...// And it could have been any of them that thought it. But there was more, something more...He let himself drift, searching in the warm, warm sun, eyes wide open. "There's something...I can almost hear..."

Sighing, he leaned back into the arm supporting him, and the pirate spoke in his ear. "'Twas she that brought us here this time. Pearl has something to tell us, she does. Come...I always hear her best at the helm, meself."

Byrd let Sparrow lead him - he felt dazed, sun-struck as his former self. Then the captain moved behind him again as Jack's hands found the pegs of her great wheel. Sparrow leaned flush against him, his own hands one peg to either side. Jack let himself drift further, moved her as she bid, and listened. There was more felt, though, than heard - mad joy welled in him and he grinned, laughed aloud. And there was need, so much need, need to find...find..."Jack, have you got..."

"Here, mate, right here." Sparrow handed him the compass and he stared at the spinning needle, which suddenly made perfect sense. "Try not to lose the message in the madness, me own, and I'll do the same. It's hard, I know - she's glorious. Can overtake ye, and she will, but with luck, we'll hear enough."

The wind caught her sails, then, and here the Pearl needed no crew greater than the two who manned her now. Jack caressed the wood beneath his palm; every bit of him in contact with the ship or with his other self electrified. He listened, they listened, with every part of them, trying at least to commit the message to memory so that they could sort it out later, because now they needed to move, had to fly. The horizon beckoned and receded, bloody tease that she was, and they gave chase, and oh it felt so *good* - nothing felt like this bliss that was the Pearl's communion with the rest of her soul. All that mattered, but not all that mattered, there was a message, there *was,* it was in there somewhere with the flight and the motion and the desire...they heard even as they wanted, wanted...

Jack's eyes flew open. Desire still rode him and his fingertips tingled. He stared deep into the brown eyes of his William, whose hunger matched his own. Their mouths met in a greedy kiss. Both tongue-deep in each other, their legs tangled and they rocked together. Jack reached beneath pillows, found what he needed, and prepared Will fast as either of them could manage, and then he was inside his love, plunging, thrusting, and Will rose moaning loud to meet him. Roughly, Jack pulled and caressed, drawing forth the other man's passion so fast and so ardent, hot against him. He rode Will, then, to softer more musical moans and his own shuddering cry.

Just breathing, then, and for a while later.

"Oh...my...God." Will, finally. "My God, Jack, that was fucking amazing."

"Wow," Jack agreed. "Just...wow."

A few more minutes, then, Will ending up curled against Jack's side, head on his chest. "I had one of those dreams again," Will said. "Turner and I were at the forge together, and I saw something in the flames. I was staring at it, trying to make it out, and Turner was too, and it was like the fire got inside us and we *burned.*" Jack felt Will's eyelashes brush him. "Not in a bad way, though." Jack felt lips turn up in a smile. "But I'm ...we're...still trying to figure it out. All I've really got right now is..."

"...Norrington," Jack said with some surprise, though he was not surprised when Will nodded. "Norton. Well. Why would the Pearl have a message for me about him, of all people?"

"Is that where you were? Should've known. No wonder you were all hot and bothered." His eyes lost focus for a second, and his voice changed. "I remember when she would take you so, when you would come to me afire, lay me down with mad need. You would say then that Pearl needed it as much as we did." Will leaned up to meet Jack's lips, long and tender. "Those are good memories."

"Mmm," Jack agreed, with a lazy stretch and yawn calculated to heat Will's gaze at least ten degrees. It was working, too, until his feet brushed fur and he heard a "Squeak!"

"Oh, yeah. Morning, Hector."

The dark, svelte ferret ran beneath the covers, finally emerging at the top and clambering to his favorite perch atop the headboard while emitting a series of growling clicks.

"You know he's not going to go away until somebody feeds him."

"...You're right. Guess we'd better get up."

"What'd you mean we, Kemosabe?" Will gave a yawn of his own that came with a grin.

"This is how ye know I love ye, lad," Jack sighed, swinging his feet out of bed.

"I knew that already."

"And I know ye did," Jack replied, "but in this case, I was talkin' to the ferret."

Will snorted, then, and did not look up when Jack said, "Oh, by the way, Will?"

"Yes?"

"Rather large spider on your knee, there."

"GHAAA!" and *Thunk!* as his back hit the rustic pine.

And, of course, "Jack. You die now," as he realized it was black rubber.

"Happy Halloween, love....Will? Ah, Will, me love...put that down...Will...Will!"

* * *

The Mad Fangirl proudly presents
Taxes 5A - Halloween.

* * *
5A, Part 1: Day
* * *

Liz Swan woke Halloween morning to find the sheets mussed, and Greg out on the balcony again. Instead of calling him inside, she slipped on a large, warm robe and padded out to join him.

"Morning, baby."

"Good morning, my love," he replied, and she felt the little thrill inside that Elizabeth hadn't lost entirely since her commodore awoke. "Liz, hon?" Greg again.

"Yeah, baby?"

"You ever - I don't know, switch over totally? So you're in the background and Elizabeth's doing the moving and acting and all?"

"You know," she said slowly, "I don't think we ever have. I think we could, though." And from Elizabeth she felt interest, certainly, but no urgency. "The boys - Will and Jack, they have. Gibson and Annie Mae, too. I have no idea about Dad."

"I...I've...*We've* been tryin'," Greg Norton confessed. "I mean, he can speak through me easy as anything - sometimes we don't even know which of us is sayin' what. But movin's hard, and taking over..." He gave a slight shrug. "He can't. Or I can't. I don't know. I want t' give that to him - I feel like I owe him. He helped make me who I am." Greg let his breath out in a short, frustrated sigh.

"Oh, baby," Liz said, putting her arms around him. "I've never seen you not get something you wanted badly enough. It'll happen. It took Will and Jack a while to get the hang of it. For the longest time, they could only switch when they were having sex..."

"Whoa." Greg said, holding up a hand. "Way more information than I needed."

"Anyway, give it time. That's my...our...advice."

"An' it's good advice - yours usually is." He took that hand and raised it to her face, caressing the line of her jaw. "Just...know that, could I touch you of my own volition, I would do so with joy beyond measure. For now, this must suffice."

"Oh, James," she sighed, eyes closing. "I love all of you, whole and entire. This thing you want will come, I know." Reaching up, Elizabeth brought his head down for a long kiss. Then she spun away, grinning. "Now come inside! I want you to see my costume all put together."

"'Kay," he replied, following her in. "An' then, we'll get you out of it." He winked, and she fired back, licking her teeth. "Or maybe the other way 'round."

Later, they gazed idly at the closet, leaning against one another. "Can't wait t' see Jack's reaction," Greg said, yawning.

"Oh, yeah," Liz grinned. "Almost all of them are going with the 'come as you were' theme. I *know* we're getting plenty of pirates, and they'll be expecting a commodore."

"Won't they be surprised to find I've taken a demotion for the night."

* * *

Jack never did get back to sleep after feeding the ferret...

//...sounds like a dirty euphemism, eh?...//

...as he was too excited. He'd always loved this holiday. Now, his other self tingled with excitement at the modern concept of All Hallows Eve and the delights it offered. He still drifted, just a bit, from sleepiness, but with just a few more cups of coffee, he'd be able to take on the world.

//...love this stuff, me own self. About the complete opposite of rum, but it makes me...//

//...shake like a Chihuahua?...// Byrd held his hand sideways, stared at it.

//...well, there's that, too...//

Jack mixed chocolate powder with the next cup and squeezed a liberal amount of whipped cream on top. This had the bonus of making his inner pirate happy; Sparrow loved sweets, though he had no tolerance for sugar. On the other hand, when the captain took control, their alcohol tolerance went up by leaps and bounds.

Very slight noise behind them that was Will walking in on stocking feet. Arms fell about Jack's shoulders and the accountant's head was pulled to rest in the hollow of Will's throat. One, maybe both of them, sighed.

"All's forgiven, then?"

"Ohhhh, no," Will replied. "We're getting you back. We just need to figure out how. In the meantime, breakfast."

"What's on the menu?"

"We've got the day off; I figured I'd experiment. Pumpkin pancakes."

"Ooh."

As it turned out, they were laden with just enough cooked pumpkin for flavor, and generous amounts of pumpkin pie spice. Hector got interested enough in the pancake batter that Will ladled a little bit out for him.

"I have no idea if that's good for a ferret," he said, and Jack shrugged.

"Man or beast, he's got the right to pick his poison."

"Sounds like you."

"Maybe a little." Jack smiled at Will. "So, tonight's going to be packed, and I'd like to do a bit of last-minute shopping later for some odds and ends...putting together my costume's been sheer hell, but I'm just about done..."

"Now, Jack, you know it took Sparrow years to put that look together. You've only been checking out thrift stores for a few weeks."

"Yeah." Listened... "He says he can't help it if his timeless style failed to catch on."

"I think maybe you both need a nap."

"But we've only just gotten up..." He leered enough for a double-entendre. "Unless you'd like to wear me out again."

Will leaned over to pour Jack's coffee, raising an eyebrow, and then smiling. It was a very Turner expression, tolerant and interested just the same. Jack watched other parts of Will as he turned to place the coffeepot back on the warming plate. He reached for the sugar container and flipped down the catches...

"GHAAAA!"

"The trick," Will said, without turning, "is to take the spring-loaded snake out of the can of mixed nuts and put it in some other container. I mean, who doesn't see the mixed nuts thing coming..."

Jack let Sparrow flood in, while himself remaining - the pirate was far better at menacing. As soon as Will turned, he began to back away. "Jack? Um, Jack?"

Will couldn't entirely drop the smile as he backed off, which just enflamed them more. Together they stalked him, enjoying more and more the feel of being the predator. They doubted Will was truly afraid, but they could see the whites of his eyes around the irises, good and wide. And the kid was scrambling back and back, and...

"Ack!"

Will was extremely graceful by nature, so when he'd tripped backwards over Jack's couch arm, he'd done it quite gracefully. Excepting the squawk, of course.

If Jack had been more Sparrow, he'd have pounced, but Byrd came ascendant again and felt more guilt than his other would have. "Will?"

The other man moaned, "Ow." But then, "I'm fine, Jack..." He sat up, rubbing his tailbone. "Butt missed the pillows and hit a board or something. Otherwise, fine."

"Sorry about that," Jack said, with an apologetic half-smile and shrug.

Will sighed. "Not your fault. Takes two to do the whole "chase me" thing."

Jack just looked at him. "You really have my number, don't you?"

"Well, you've generally got everyone's number, so it's only fair."

"I'm not sure if I've just been insulted or not."

"So take it as a compliment."

Jack considered. "Okay." He sat next to Will on the couch, slipped an arm around, pulled the man close, and kissed him lightly. "I am sorry." He blamed the handful of candy corn he filched from the bowl before him on Sparrow, too.

For a while, they drowsed before the dormant fireplace, leaning against one another. Then Jack yawned and put his feet up on the coffee table. Or at least, that was the intent, for his heel caught the bowl of candy corn, which sent the contents flying, to cover the couch and the both of them.

Will turned to look at him, raised an eyebrow, and then Jack felt fingers brush as Will plucked a piece from his hair.

"Today's forecast," Jack sighed. "100 % chance of flying fructose in parts of the Southland."

That rated an eye roll, which Jack had to admit he deserved, buen hen he was fascinated by the pieces of candy corn that had caught in the waistband of Will's boxers. It was only natural that he remove them with his teeth. He slid sideways along his Will and the other man moved likewise. Once Jack plucked one piece away, other parts of Will were in motion, dislodging more candy that slipped inside the shorts.

"I'm afraid these are in the way," he said. "Could be more candy corn hiding in there. You wouldn't want to sprout an ear of candy corn out your - aaaahh...." Ahh, warm, moist, *Will* of a sudden, and there was no way he was getting away with *that*...The captain washed back into his mind, and the two shared the sensation that made them whimper low in their throat as they pulled his shorts down in turn, grasping him in their mouth likewise.

More of a dizzy rush than usual, owing to the sugar, but they weren't switching, only sharing. They...he...devoured Will greedily, hungrily, *losing it* utterly, bucking into the lad's own mouth which was pleasure itself, and needing to make him writhe as well, pulling, sucking, lapping, tracing patterns...knowing well what would make Will scream around them if only they could *think*...stretch, press, *squeeze,* and oh...ohhhh...so very close, time to grab his legs, hold tight, pull with the tongue just th...there...ohhhh...mmmm....Will...WILL! Riding...cresting...long sweet draught of the other and....Ah.

"Mmm."

After a moment, Sparrow fell back again, sated and nearly asleep, and Jack Byrd craned his neck up to look at his Will, who was studying a piece of candy corn, pulled from somewhere in the cushions.

"Damn," he said, "What's *in* this stuff?"

* * *

By and by, they managed to dress, both in jeans and Will in the ever-popular "this IS my costume" tee. Jack's shirt was black, with red horns and a goatee scribbled on the front. Will grabbed a glass of juice, draining it before they hit the door.

"You know," Will said, placing the glass in the sink, "It was Turner that jumped you. The rest of it...we were one, completely in synch, but now he's feeling all guilty again. You know, because he lost it a little."

"Didn't notice you two losing anything," Jack grinned, but he took Will's meaning. "Anyway, we're supposed to let go. It's sex, for crying out loud. Which we would've been, if our mouths weren't occupied."

"I keep telling him...but I'm just saying." Will smiled. "I'll straighten him out." Then Will's eyes went vacant for a second, and when they focused again, Will sighed and shrugged. "Eventually."

Through the door, and they were in the garage, Will sliding in behind Jack on the bike and pressing up against him, hands lacing for support a little lower than they had to.

"So, some last minute shopping for effects?"

"Why not?"

* * *

There was no way he was finding a tricornered leather hat, and the sooner he resigned himself to that fact, the better.

It was still the least bit depressing - he'd located a reasonable facsimile of nearly everything else. After a brief morning doze, the Captain was alive inside him and searching just as avidly, but they were having no manner of luck at all.

He saw, too, a gleam in Will's eye and a flow to his movements that said while Smith held control, Turner was strong. Well, it *was* Halloween - spirits of the past were supposed to start showing up around now, even when they usually weren't present.

On their latest stop, they parked in the lot of one of the huge gypsy costume warehouses that seemed to sprout in late September and wither, abruptly, on November First. The place was packed, of course, and they ended up at the end of the lot, even with the bike.

It was then that he happened to glance across the street, to see a smaller, nearly deserted costume store, with the legend "Ripper's." He took Will's arm and inclined his head over, and Will shrugged as if to say, "Why not?"

Will entered first and slipped to one wall without much notice. Jack, on the other hand, stepped through the door and declaimed, hand raised, "I'm looking...for a hat."

"We've got hats," said the man behind the counter, in a smooth English accent. He sighed. "Lots and lots of hats. Lots of everything, really." He glanced across the street, almost involuntarily.

"Bad location?" Jack asked, sympathetically.

"The worst." He rolled his eyes, and idly tapped a medallion he had hanging near the register. It set to spinning, catching Jack's eye. "They weren't there when I signed the lease. I'll be lucky if I come near breaking even this year." Jack shrugged, already considering the hat selection.

//...not here either...//

//...no, and I had a *feeling* about this place...//

"My name's Ethan, if you need anything," the man continued. Jack picked up a large, wide-brimmed hat in maroon. Not his style at all, but definitely reminiscent of the past. "Going as a pirate?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact, but none of these hats are quite right. I suppose I'll have to settle for a bandanna." And perhaps an extra bauble or two...a bowl on the counter caught his eye next, and he ran his fingers through it. A glint of silver...

//...no, it can't be...//

Green fire so deep as to be almost black...

//...how...oh, how in the world...//

Jack removed an intricate silver ring with a wide, oval stone.

//...this...was *mine*...//

"That would be perfect for a pirate costume," the shopkeeper said.

"Don't I know it..."

And then Jack bit his tongue and put on his game face, but it was too late - the man had seen how much he wanted this thing. This ring. *His* ring.

//...if only it'd been you...//

//...oh, but 'twas me that gave the game away, me own. I was no help here...//

"Fifty dollars," Ethan said, and Jack's heart leapt, for obviously the man thought it a replica. Sterling, of course, and thus pricey, but if he only *knew* the piece's provenance...

Well, Jack certainly wasn't going to tell him.

"I'll go twenty," he said.

"Thirty."

"Twenty-five."

"Twenty-seven, and you *know* you're taking advantage of me, right?"

//...pirate...// whispered Sparrow with the feel of a grin.

"Got it." It was a museum piece, really, and Jack very nearly felt bad for him.

Then he caught the man examining Will's assets as the younger man looked over a table of swords, and sympathy evaporated. Jack let his other self out for an instant, just long enough to nick the marble medallion hanging from the register. The pirate was just so much better at some things.

Jack paid up, and then he and Will left past a familiar-looking woman who fingered a pretty white snow leopard mask with plastic whiskers. Thought for a second..."Amy, right? In Accounts Receivables?"

"You remembered! Hi, Jack, Will."

"Hi Amy. See you tonight?"

She nodded, and they were back on the bike.

* * *

"I'm sure you thought you got an excellent deal," Ethan murmured as he watched them get seated. "But I think tonight you'ind ind that there are those that do the taking, and those that get took. Oh, I think this Halloween is going to be very interesting for you...very interesting indeed..." He laughed, then, long and low in his throat, until-

"How much for the cat mask?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't know there was anyone else in here."

* * *

Not much later, Will and Jack stopped at an independent coffee house for snacks. Over pumpkin spice lattes, Will asked, "So, how much did we leave that store with that we *didn't* pay for? You look far too smug." Beginning to sound Turner, a bit, and a brief cloud passed across that same self's features before Smith grinned.

Jack eyed the other man. Sparrow would have let it go again, but... "You okay?"

Will snorted. "*I'm* fine. *He* keeps popping up and then feeling guilty t itt it. He shouldn't - I keep telling him the walls are going to be thinner today. Halloween, y'know? Plus, I don't mind."

"...Okay."

"So, you still don't get to change the subject. What'd you filch? And don't tell me it was Sparrow, because it probably was, but I'm betting you called him."

Jack sipped his coffee, grinning, and didn't deny it. He pulled the medallion from a pocket. "It was on the register. Look here - " he ran his finger along the detailing. "It's the god Janus. He's a patron of doorways and gates - what with the two faces and everything. I figure we could hang this over the entryway. He's also a god of duality, obviously - two of him, two of me, two of you, the two of us...we *had* to, love..."

"Man, just a little pirate voice and I let you get away with anything. And you know it, too."

Jack acknowledged this with a smirk. "He also had a little-known cult that worshipped him as a chaos deity. Chaos and meself being old friends..." He winked as he pocketed the smooth marble again.

"That's an understatement," Will said mildly. "Although...that's not the deity I'd most associate with you."

"Really? Huh. This is starting to sound like an online quiz or something. 'Find your patron deity.' So who's mine?"

"Coyote."

"Coyote?"

"Yeah. Native American trickster spirit. Canny, savvy critter - outsmarts everyone, people think he's nuts...you know." Jack snorted and Will went on. "Or Raven, Anansi the spider, the Monkey King...no, seriously." He took another long sip of coffee. "Okay, fine. Pick one for me."

"Aw, that's easy. Hephaestus, Vulcan, the god of the forge. God of fertility, creation in some ways...hot and virile..." pause, sip, "...even if he is slightly lame."

"I saw it coming," Will replied, "I just couldn't get out of the way."

"Well," Jack said, "That just-" He was cut off, though, by the ring of his cell phone.

"Jack..." Will said slowly, "when did you program your phone to ring "A Pirate's Life for Me?"

But Jack was listening to the other party, saying "...yes, but...but...I *know* I owe you, but he...but it's...oh, all right." Things went on in this vein for a bit, and then he hung up.

"So, Will, you have plans around three?"

"I was just going to see what you came up with," Will said. He glanced at his watch. "It's one now..."

"Well, that was Annie - looks like we've been drafted. Her husband couldn't get the day off, and she's taking her youngest to the church carnival, so we're on."

"Do I want to know?"

"We get to take her six-year-old trick-or-treating." Jack shrugged. "Boat, car...I haven't yet *begun* to pay."

"Wow. I'm not the only one that has your number. Still..." something suspiciously like a smile lurked in Will's eyes. "This could be fun."

"Hmm..." Jack considered the possibilities. "A rug-rat to corrupt. You think we can make him a complete scalawag by four thirty?

"You realize Annie Mae's going to kill us, of course."

"This is Anamaria we're talking about. Either she won't care, or we'll be wishing shortly that she had finished us off."

* * *

When they arrived at two fifty-five, it was to a babysitter dressed as a vampire and little Eric Robbins, who was a pirate, of course.

"Avast!" the six-year-old shouted from behind his sitter's legs, pointing a plastic sword at roughly the area of Jack's privates.

"Nice form," Will said, "but kind of below the belt."

"I'm six," Eric pointed out.

"Yeah, but it looks cooler if you hold it up at shoulder height, and *then* shout 'Avast!'"

"It might look cool," Eric said, considering, "or I might look like a dork."

"Okay," Will allowed. He looked up at Jack, who was smirking, of course, and then asked, "We ready?"

"Uh-uh," said the sitter, "His friends should be here any second."

"Um, friends?"

"Shouldn't be more than six or so this year. Probably more like three or four." She smiled, showing fangs. "I charge quadruple to take 'em. Bet Annie conned you into doing it for free."

"I owe her one," Jack said.

"Uh-*huh.*" The sitter gave him a look. "Seems like everyone owes Annie a favor, but I'm seriously impressed."

"How bad can it be?"
e doe doorbell rang.

* * *

"Are you married?" This from the far-too-adorable little skeleton with pigtails.

"What - no, you see..."

"Mr. and Mrs. Johnson took us last year. They were married. Are you two married to each other?"

"Is that your wedding ring?" asked a diminutive devil.

"Ah - no, um..."

"They can't be married," said a Spongebob Squarepants. "They're both guys."

"Uh-uh," said the devil. "They could be. I saw a book."

"Well, actually, technically, we couldn't be, yet, because the laws of this country are unfair and unjust..."

Eric the pirate snorted. "I knew *that.* I read Doonesbury *and* Boondocks."

"He's straight *out* of Boondocks..." Jack murmured just to Will, but Eric heard and apparently took it as a compliment.

"If you had kids, would they have two daddies?"

"They can't have kids," Spongebob insisted. "'m sure about that one."

"Could 'dopt kids."

"Are you going to adopt kids?"

Oh, Will decided, this was better than cable. At least, as long as the kids' attention was on Jack, it was, and Jack drew attention like flames drew moths.

"Look!" Jack said, and was that a hint of desperation? "Candy!"

Someone had, perhaps unwisely, gone away and left a bowl of "100 Grand" bars on their po

"We should prob'ly only take one," said the skeleton.

"Nonsense," said Jack. "Take all you can! Or, at least, take all you want to." He pondered. "Do you think you could sell them or trade them at school on Monday?"

Spongebob thought about it. "100 Grands? Yeah, probably."

"So, what do you think we should do, Captain Eric?"

"Clean out the bowl!" Eric said happily.

"There you go! Now, listen, make sure y'give everyone an equal share, savvy?"

"Of course!" the kid said, pocketing his loot. Then he kicked an extra candy bar with his foot and looked up at Will, who winked and nodded, then looked over at Jack.

"I won't tell if you won't."

Eric pocketed it.

"But the older kids won't get any," said the devil.

"Yes, but they could have come out earlier. They think it's cooler to come out in the dark," Will ted ted out.

"And as a result, we beat them to the loot," Jack said. "It's just good strategy on our part, so really, we *deserve* it all."

"Y'know," Eric said, "I think we should look for more bowls of candy."

"Also excellent strategy, Eric me lad."

* * *

There were more bowls of candy, but there were also doorbells to ring with the cry of "trick or treat!" Everything was going quite well, even when Spongebob asked Will and Jack both how much money they made, because it gave Jack the opportunity to explain times when a little lying was okay, if it made other people feel better. Of course, Will saw the next question coming, and snickered when the skeleton asked if Will or Jack felt better. It was visible, Jack biting back his first ten responses because everyone there save Will was either six or seven years old. Fortunately for his boyfriend/captain, though, the kids spotted another lit doorway.

"Trick or treat!" and each child received a plastic-wrapped item delivered with a smile that Will found a bit smug. The door then closed, and Eric examined his loot.

"*Toothbrushes!?*"

"Oh, that's just snide beyond belief," Will said. All the kids nodded, but he had the feeling that Eric even knew what snide meant.

"These folk are definitely not in the Halloween spirit," Jack observed, with a bit of the Captain's demented gleam in his eyes. "They didn't give the kids a treat. Hey, kids, anyone know what you do when you don't get a treat? C'mon, you just said it..."

"Trick?" asked the skeleton.

"Very good!"

"I've never played a trick before..."

"Any of you?" asked Will, and they all shook their heads.

"Even you?" Jack asked Eric, and the little pirate shrugged.

"Okay then. We're gonna do this one up right..."

It was Spongebob that found the napkins, next door on the porch, from the remains of a Halloween party. Bright orange - Jack declared them perfect. Eric kept a weather eye on the doors and windows while directing their placement in the hedge along the side of the house. Once they were well wedged, the devil held the hose and the skeleton turned on the water, so that the napkins would melt and stick.

"Go, go, go!" Jack urged, and they all took off running, down the block and around the corner. Will took one look back and smiled, for now, the toothbrush house had a bush emblazoned, in bright orange paper mache letters...

"L.A.M.E."

* * *

"Okay, one...two..."

"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?"

"SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!"

"Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!"

"NO, no, not *that* song - the *other* song..."

"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me! We pillage and plunder and rifle and loot..."

Will looked at the chorusing children and smiled as they walked the last block back to Annie Mae's house.

"We did good, didn't we?"

Jack walked back behind the group, to Will, letting Eric lead with his swinging sword. He threw an arm about Will's shoulders.

"Yeah. Kinda gives you a warm glow, doesn't it?"

"Maybe we should adopt kids."

"Maybe two, or three...or ten...on the other hand, I can barely handle a ferret." They came up the driveway to the ending verse, and Will and Jack joined in. "...aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads, drink up me hearties, yo ho!" Annie Mae and her three-year-old were just unloading the car, and Annie turned and waved. She also stared just a bit.

"All right, kids! So, what did we all learn today?"

"TAKE ALL YE CAN! GIVE NOTHING BACK!"

"Very good! Okay, I'm giving you all back to Mrs. Robbins now, so be good, or if you can't be good, don't get caught!"

Annie Mae just kept staring at Will and Jack, mostly Jack, as the children filed into the house.

"God in heaven," she said. "What have I done?"

"Nothing that can't be reversed by a few sessions of Sunday school...that is, if you're so inclined." Jack winked.

"Will, couldn't ye stop him?"

"Hey, why should I be the only one corrupted by ~Captain~ Jack Sparrow around here?"

"I'll have ye know I was a perfectly respectable lady's maid before I met that scalawag."

"Really?"

"Nah, I was a cutpurse since I could walk, but I wanted to see if ye'd buy it." Anamaria smiled, and then her voice shifted. "So, I'm going to go see just how badly you've corrupted the kiddies. Thanks, you guys."

"Any time, Annie Mae."

"You mean that, don't you? Well, what do you know. Jack Byrd's a kid person. Who'd a thunk it?"

"This does *not* mean you get a free babysitter on demand, you know," Will advised, and it had been Turner come forth again. Another taste of guilt...Will was going to have to head that off, and soon. Nightfall was nigh, and he felt a change in the air. He looked at Annie and Jack, and knew they felt it too.

"Please, me exploiting Jack is the definition of karma."

"Not when it gets in the way of him...exploiting...me," Will replied.

"Oh, honey, he's corrupting you all over again, isn't he?" Annie Mae said, with a smile.

"If I'm lucky."

* * *

"Night's falling," Jack said, and his voice had an almost eerie quality, hovering between halves. Will leaned against him as he filled the bike's gas tank. "There's somethin' in the air, crisp and strange. Can you feel it?"

"Yes," Will breathed. "I think...I think it's time for us to go home and get changed."

* * *