I Lay Me Down to Sleep
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S through Z › Van Helsing
Rating:
Adult +
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Category:
S through Z › Van Helsing
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
2
Views:
3,456
Reviews:
9
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Van Helsing, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
The Long Walk Home
A/N: I just watched the movie for the.. *thinks* fourth time a little while ago and I really tried to pay attention to the little things this time around, especially around the Budapest scenes. I wanted to catch all the little neuances that the actors express and MAN... it was like winning the lottery! Only without the money. There were so many loaded glances! It was beautiful. I love the way Jackman's face was just so animated with emotion. Ahh, the sign of a good actor. Anyway, it kind of helped me understand the turmoil Van Helsing must've been going thru. Oh the wangst.
Thank you to the people the left reviews and my friends who read the story and threatened physical abuse if I didn't write more. n.n; It's good to know that people enjoy my work as much as I do. :D Just filler this chapter (but hopefully good filler) but I'm working on more as I type, so I'll have another chapter up as soon as I can dodge schoolwork. Enjoy. :)
***
Optimism. Van Helsing tried to remember it as he watched Aleera carry Anna off into the sky. He wasn’t sure what hurt more: the fact that she was gone or the things he had seen in her eyes just moments before. She had been furious with him for killing her brother, and that was understandable. Velkan was, after all, the only family she’d had left. Understandable, but her fury still stung. That hate, the contempt he all too often received from the world: he had almost convinced himself he was used to it, but he hadn’t been prepared for the feeling of it coming from Anna. It turned his stomach into ice. He wanted so much to put her at ease, but he could tell that at that moment, she had wanted him to drop dead on the spot. He wondered if she understood just what it meant to him.
“Now you know why they call me a murderer,” he had told her. He wanted desperately for her to understand. That was what he was: a man who killed, even as he tried to protect. She couldn’t see Velkan as he did and he accepted that… but he had hoped that maybe she might understand that it had hurt him as much as it had hurt her. He didn’t want to kill him. Damnit, why couldn’t she understand that?
But what had really driven the proverbial stake through his heart was the look she had given him when she found out about the wound on his chest. She had looked at him with such horror that he would’ve begged God to strike him down right that second if he had been able to manage words. Many people had looked at him such, but never in his worst nightmares could he have imagined the pain that it had caused coming from someone he cared so much about. He was another monster in her eyes. He had killed her brother and now he was going to follow Velkan’s path.
He could feel his soul shriveling as she backed away. In a time he needed her close the most, she distanced herself. Was this what he was destined for the rest of his days? A life of constantly repelling those he opened up to? Was he that vile?
Those questions, as well as a hundred others, stampeded through his head as he looked down upon Budapest. He had to find Anna. He had to keep her safe. He had to make it up to her somehow. It was his duty to safeguard both her and the Creature, but somewhere in the corner of his heart, he secretly pushed on in the hopes that maybe she would understand why he did it. He wanted to tell her everything, something he had never wished for in his whole life… and he didn’t want to see this one person slip through his fingers.
The jingling of Carl’s hat as they marched towards the palace was really getting on Van Helsing’s nerves. He was trying to think and those incessant bells kept scattering his thoughts. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he opened his mouth to complain when Carl cut him off.
“Uhm, Van Helsing, about Anna…”
He set his jaw, resigning himself to this conversation. “Yes, Carl?”
“It might not be such a good idea to… to get, uhm, involved with her,” the friar stammered, obviously trying to be careful with his words.
“I don’t want to talk about this now, Carl,” Van Helsing snapped, picking up his pace. He tried to think about how in the world they were going to get into the palace to begin with, but those damn jingle bells inserted themselves into his thoughts again. The next thing he knew, Carl was up along side of him, matching his pace.
“Van Helsing, I’m not blind and I’m certainly not deaf,” he started, shooting his friend a stern look. Van Helsing glanced at him, clearing his throat uncomfortably. “I’m just saying that it might be dangerous right now to become so close.”
In all of the world, Van Helsing considered Carl the closest thing he had to a friend. The friar made him smile, even laugh; he was wise and honest and Van Helsing felt that if he could tell anyone anything and not have to worry about getting it tossed back into his face, it was Carl. Maybe that was why he was getting so angry with the young man now: because he knew that he was only trying to be helpful.
He tried to divert Carl’s normally easily diverted attention. “This is hardly the time or place to talk about that. Let’s get her out of here and then you can lecture me all you want.”
He picked up his pace again and heard the friar sigh in exasperation before the increased jingling signaled that he too had sped up. They were nearly there and Van Helsing still didn’t have a plan. It looked like they were going to have to wing it.
For coming up with a plan off the top of his head, Van Helsing was surprised the notion had worked at all. Even he had to admit that he’d cut it a little close, though, but Anna was safe and for that he was thankful. However, it seemed as if Fate had no intention on changing and as usual, Van Helsing found his relief short-lived. Dracula had the Creature. He could’ve kicked himself for being so stupid as to leave the poor man by himself, locked away. He should have expected Dracula to know every single card he had in his hand. After all, Van Helsing was on Dracula’s territory.
It was the normal way of things. Van Helsing was always the insurgent, the odd item, and the trespasser. He had no ground of his own to fight on. Everywhere he went always belonged to someone else. This was his reward for being careless: guilt and stress.
But jumping down there now was a death wish. Even if every single dancer in the ballroom wasn’t a vampire, they all served Dracula and they would rip Helsing to shreds at his word. They had to run. They would stand more of a chance freeing the Creature from the empty halls of castles than the bursting corridors of the palace. He grabbed Anna’s arm and fled.
Carl had pulled through in the thick of things again and saved them all from a rather tight situation. As the old saying went, however, out of the frying pan and into the fire: the Creature was long gone now, already ferried halfway to a boat barely visible in the night. As an insult to injury, Carl had just conveniently informed them that Van Helsing was ordered to destroy the poor soul after all. He couldn’t take it. The sheer weight of guilt and duty could very well have sunk him to the bottom of the river they were all floating in. He’d snapped; lashed out at the person who deserved it the least. The werewolf venom in his veins was screaming for blood, demanding he find release somewhere, even at the cost of his friends. The dark place in his soul where he normally bottled his frustration and anger had been shattered wide open and the sudden realization that he was a danger to those around him was sickening.
He clung to the iron bars of the moat gate, forcing the bloot dot down. His gaze turned to Anna, his expression a mix of fear and sorrow. He’d apologized and he had never meant anything more in his life, yet she wouldn’t look at him. He could see her eyes dart away, even as she ducked her head to hide it. He wasn’t sure how much more of this his soul could take.
***
A/N: Title comes from a song a friend of mine wrote. Thank you for reading. ^_^ *love for Van Helsing*
Thank you to the people the left reviews and my friends who read the story and threatened physical abuse if I didn't write more. n.n; It's good to know that people enjoy my work as much as I do. :D Just filler this chapter (but hopefully good filler) but I'm working on more as I type, so I'll have another chapter up as soon as I can dodge schoolwork. Enjoy. :)
***
Optimism. Van Helsing tried to remember it as he watched Aleera carry Anna off into the sky. He wasn’t sure what hurt more: the fact that she was gone or the things he had seen in her eyes just moments before. She had been furious with him for killing her brother, and that was understandable. Velkan was, after all, the only family she’d had left. Understandable, but her fury still stung. That hate, the contempt he all too often received from the world: he had almost convinced himself he was used to it, but he hadn’t been prepared for the feeling of it coming from Anna. It turned his stomach into ice. He wanted so much to put her at ease, but he could tell that at that moment, she had wanted him to drop dead on the spot. He wondered if she understood just what it meant to him.
“Now you know why they call me a murderer,” he had told her. He wanted desperately for her to understand. That was what he was: a man who killed, even as he tried to protect. She couldn’t see Velkan as he did and he accepted that… but he had hoped that maybe she might understand that it had hurt him as much as it had hurt her. He didn’t want to kill him. Damnit, why couldn’t she understand that?
But what had really driven the proverbial stake through his heart was the look she had given him when she found out about the wound on his chest. She had looked at him with such horror that he would’ve begged God to strike him down right that second if he had been able to manage words. Many people had looked at him such, but never in his worst nightmares could he have imagined the pain that it had caused coming from someone he cared so much about. He was another monster in her eyes. He had killed her brother and now he was going to follow Velkan’s path.
He could feel his soul shriveling as she backed away. In a time he needed her close the most, she distanced herself. Was this what he was destined for the rest of his days? A life of constantly repelling those he opened up to? Was he that vile?
Those questions, as well as a hundred others, stampeded through his head as he looked down upon Budapest. He had to find Anna. He had to keep her safe. He had to make it up to her somehow. It was his duty to safeguard both her and the Creature, but somewhere in the corner of his heart, he secretly pushed on in the hopes that maybe she would understand why he did it. He wanted to tell her everything, something he had never wished for in his whole life… and he didn’t want to see this one person slip through his fingers.
The jingling of Carl’s hat as they marched towards the palace was really getting on Van Helsing’s nerves. He was trying to think and those incessant bells kept scattering his thoughts. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he opened his mouth to complain when Carl cut him off.
“Uhm, Van Helsing, about Anna…”
He set his jaw, resigning himself to this conversation. “Yes, Carl?”
“It might not be such a good idea to… to get, uhm, involved with her,” the friar stammered, obviously trying to be careful with his words.
“I don’t want to talk about this now, Carl,” Van Helsing snapped, picking up his pace. He tried to think about how in the world they were going to get into the palace to begin with, but those damn jingle bells inserted themselves into his thoughts again. The next thing he knew, Carl was up along side of him, matching his pace.
“Van Helsing, I’m not blind and I’m certainly not deaf,” he started, shooting his friend a stern look. Van Helsing glanced at him, clearing his throat uncomfortably. “I’m just saying that it might be dangerous right now to become so close.”
In all of the world, Van Helsing considered Carl the closest thing he had to a friend. The friar made him smile, even laugh; he was wise and honest and Van Helsing felt that if he could tell anyone anything and not have to worry about getting it tossed back into his face, it was Carl. Maybe that was why he was getting so angry with the young man now: because he knew that he was only trying to be helpful.
He tried to divert Carl’s normally easily diverted attention. “This is hardly the time or place to talk about that. Let’s get her out of here and then you can lecture me all you want.”
He picked up his pace again and heard the friar sigh in exasperation before the increased jingling signaled that he too had sped up. They were nearly there and Van Helsing still didn’t have a plan. It looked like they were going to have to wing it.
For coming up with a plan off the top of his head, Van Helsing was surprised the notion had worked at all. Even he had to admit that he’d cut it a little close, though, but Anna was safe and for that he was thankful. However, it seemed as if Fate had no intention on changing and as usual, Van Helsing found his relief short-lived. Dracula had the Creature. He could’ve kicked himself for being so stupid as to leave the poor man by himself, locked away. He should have expected Dracula to know every single card he had in his hand. After all, Van Helsing was on Dracula’s territory.
It was the normal way of things. Van Helsing was always the insurgent, the odd item, and the trespasser. He had no ground of his own to fight on. Everywhere he went always belonged to someone else. This was his reward for being careless: guilt and stress.
But jumping down there now was a death wish. Even if every single dancer in the ballroom wasn’t a vampire, they all served Dracula and they would rip Helsing to shreds at his word. They had to run. They would stand more of a chance freeing the Creature from the empty halls of castles than the bursting corridors of the palace. He grabbed Anna’s arm and fled.
Carl had pulled through in the thick of things again and saved them all from a rather tight situation. As the old saying went, however, out of the frying pan and into the fire: the Creature was long gone now, already ferried halfway to a boat barely visible in the night. As an insult to injury, Carl had just conveniently informed them that Van Helsing was ordered to destroy the poor soul after all. He couldn’t take it. The sheer weight of guilt and duty could very well have sunk him to the bottom of the river they were all floating in. He’d snapped; lashed out at the person who deserved it the least. The werewolf venom in his veins was screaming for blood, demanding he find release somewhere, even at the cost of his friends. The dark place in his soul where he normally bottled his frustration and anger had been shattered wide open and the sudden realization that he was a danger to those around him was sickening.
He clung to the iron bars of the moat gate, forcing the bloot dot down. His gaze turned to Anna, his expression a mix of fear and sorrow. He’d apologized and he had never meant anything more in his life, yet she wouldn’t look at him. He could see her eyes dart away, even as she ducked her head to hide it. He wasn’t sure how much more of this his soul could take.
***
A/N: Title comes from a song a friend of mine wrote. Thank you for reading. ^_^ *love for Van Helsing*