Swearing Them Off
folder
M through R › Patriot, The
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
2
Views:
1,974
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
M through R › Patriot, The
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
2
Views:
1,974
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own The Patriot, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
In Which Lucius Becomes An Enigma And Tavington Is Unraveled
Title: Swearing Them Off
Summary: Colonel Tavington is intent on giving something up for good. Can a lieutenant under him change his mind, or with the stubborn colonel's will prevail yet again?
Pairing: Tavington/OMC
Disclaimers: I do not own Tavington or any of the Patriot characters. In the least. If I did, you would see Tavington with boys a lot more often. ;) I...half-own Lucius. His first name, hair and eyes belong to J.K Rowling, but that's where the resemblance to Malfoy ends.
AN: No reviews make Malice a very sad girl. :( Hah, for that, there’s no sex in this chapter either. (Lucius: *whispers to audience* There wasn’t going to be anyway. >>) *pats Tavington and Lucius* To forestall an “OMG, OOC!!!!1!!!one!” remark to Tavington’s behaviour later in the chapter, I’d like to point out that while I know, and have no intent of trying to deny, that he is an evil little bastard, I do believe that he had nice bones in his body, and that he can be kind to people that he likes. In the movie, we never see Tavington in a situation where something or someone is not annoying him, save one scene. After Martin’s first attack on the redcoats (to save Gabriel), Tavington talks to the surviving, wounded private. He is a bit clipped, but he’s not yelling at the man, and even tells him, rather kindly, to calm down and to take his time. See? Tavington isn’t all bad. Now imagine that with someone that Tavington realizes that he actually enjoys spending time with. And there you have my reasons for nice!Tavington. (Plus….he’s been drinkin’, which amplifies any emotions he might be feeling at the moment.)
By the way these: ‘/blah/’ are in place of italics, either used for emphasis or for a character’s thoughts. ^^
Swearing Them Off
In Which Lucius Becomes An Enigma And Tavington Is Unraveled
“I’m sure you preferred the leadership of Lord Lucan(1) over my own, did you not?” Bitter, spat-out words from the dark-haired man now sitting on his bed, part of the way through a second bottle of wine. Lucius was sure that Tavington would have a horrible headache come the next morning. They were the first words the man had spoken in a few minutes, and Lucius’ head snapped up at them, his gaze shifting from the carpet to the colonel.
“Oh, I don’t know…” He tried to smile, hoping to ease his commander’s sour mood. “You both tend to be rather rash.” He looked up through the long eyelashes that fenced in those light gray eyes, his smile growing wider.
“You mock me?” The Colonel demanded in a voice ripe with outrage. His eyes were blazing as he focused on the fair-haired boy. That wasn’t quite the reaction Lucius intended, and he dropped his eyes once more.
“No sir.” Lucius gulped. “I…I much prefer you over Lord Lucan.”
Tavington merely snorted, drawing now from the bottle itself, having entirely passed over the cup. “Oh yes? And why is that?” He muttered.
There was a reason that Lucius didn’t dare voice, so he gave the other, twisting a plain gold band that adorned one of his fingers. “Lord Lucan cares only for the way his soldiers appear in the eyes of others. It has been my experience that you, despite what others say, care for your men.” He replied softly.
The bottle, briefly at Tavington’s side, was making its way back up to his lips when he heard the lieutenant’s reply. Its passage stopped, and he snorted again. Did anyone so soft have any business being a soldier? And yet Gray never hesitated to kill an enemy. In fact, when he had watched the man, wondering at his behavior, he had seemed perfectly confidant with the other men, if not as crude or loud. So what was it that brought about this change? “Indeed.” He thought he heard a soft sigh from the other man’s vicinity, and chose to ignore it, bringing the bottle to his lips once more.
Lucius looked at him with a sideways glance, then dropped his eyes to his hands. It was amazing that the colonel wasn’t passed out drunk by now, but then again, Colonel Tavington was always able to hold his liquor. And remarkably well, it seemed, since other than a marked increase in his willingness to converse, the man had shown no other signs of drunkenness. Almost none, actually. Lucius looked back up, noting a faint spot of pink on either cheek, barely noticeable with the man’s tanned skin. His lips quirked into a smile.
“What?” Demanded the colonel testily, and Lucius shook his head, eyes dropping but the smile still remaining.
“Nothing sir.”
“There must be company more interesting than mine, surely Lieutenant.” He drawled slowly. “I have informed you of the current happenings. Was there anything more you needed to know?”
“No Colonel.” His voice was as soft as ever.
“Well then?”
Lucius’ next words were a soft whisper as he began to stand up, feeling it obvious that Tavington had tired of his presence and that he should leave before he angered the colonel any further.
“If you have something to say,” The colonel intoned through gritted teeth, eyes narrowed for what seemed the twentieth time during their conversation “I would thank you to say it loud enough for the both of us.”
Lucius looked at him, meeting his gaze for a moment before the younger wavered and then looked away. “You are that eager to get rid of me, then?”
That seemed to surprise the colonel, as he looked up with eyes narrowed for a different reason. After a moment, he placed the bottle down beside him and folded his arms over his chest. “I would have thought that you would be delighted to be out of my company. Most people can’t seem to stand half a minute, much less half an hour.”
“Colonel.” Lucius’ voice was still achingly soft as he advanced to stand in front of the other man, now managing to hold his gaze. “I sought you out. When you meant to retire into this tent, I followed you. Can you honestly think that I do not wish to be here?”
Tavington held the gaze as well; long enough that Lucius dropped his eyes to the floor, folding his arms behind his back. And yet the other man continued to look at him. Soon the lieutenant felt that he was being inspected. He dared to look back at the other man, and saw the colonel giving him one of his rare quizzical looks. When he saw Lucius looking at him, his expression changed to something equally as rare: a smile, however slight, not motivated by any malicious intent. “No, I suppose not.”
Lucius responded with his own smile, walking back to his vacated stool, when Tavington’s words stopped him yet again. The young man ground his teeth. /He really does have to stop that./ He thought.
“Gray, come sit here.” Tavington moved over, leaving enough room on the bed for both of them to sit. “And I have been horribly remiss. Would you like some wine?” He glanced around. “I can…now where did it go…find a cup for you, I’m sure.”
That only made Lucius’ smile grow. “No, thank you colonel. I’m not given to drinking.”
The other man shot him a sidelong glance, not maliciously but almost…amused, and raised one eyebrow. “No, you wouldn’t be, would you?” He smirked and then put down the bottle. When Lucius remained standing, he cocked his head to one side slightly. “Well? Sit.”
After the commanded had been done, the two men sat in silence once more, Lucius twisting his ring once more and Tavington merely watching him. After a minute or so of this, Lucius lifted his eyes to meet Tavington’s gaze curiously. The man had raised two fingers to his lips, and was resting them there. “What are you doing sir?” Lucius asked politely, trying not to blush in the presence of his commanding officer.
The drawled reply made it very hard not to do so. “Attempting to figure you out, Lieutenant.”
“I’m not difficult Colonel.” He replied softly, knowing that if he didn’t break the gaze soon, he WOULD blush and that it would only amuse Tavington more.
Tavington chuckled, and continued to stare at the younger man until the blood did rush to Lucius’ cheeks. The younger man tore his gaze away quickly, staring fiercely at his hands. “I beg to differ Lieutenant. You are an enigma.”
“If you say so, sir.” Lucius murmured softly, waiting for the blush to recede from his cheeks.
The colonel stood up, paced to the entrance of his tent and opened the flap for a moment, peering out before he turned back to the interior of the dwelling, one arm folded behind his back, the other by his side. “You know,” He stated conversationally “I think I might just stay here after this…skirmish is over.
Lucius’ head jerked up. “But…you hate the…colonials, don’t you? I have heard you say it yourself.” The lieutenant himself didn’t feel one way or another for the men they were fighting against. He knew that he should dislike them, but he couldn’t help feeling that they were not so dissimilar, these men that they clashed against. After all, the colonials had once been English too.
“The men themselves? Yes. Their land? Well, it is not as bad as they are.” Tavington laughed. “Not quite dear old England, yet not horrible.”
“It will be quite a change after London’s civilization.” Lucius remarked idly, simply continuing to make conversation, his eyes once again on the little gold ring.
The bitterness, then, of Tavington’s next remark took him by surprise. “Some areas of London, I find, are not as civilized as one might think.”
“Sir?” It confused Lucius, but then he wondered if the older man might be referring to his father’s gambling habits, or perhaps – and this Lucius had only heard rumors of – his father’s more…lecherous habits. There was even the possibility, however faint, that the colonel was referring to his own problems, the rumors of which were even more faint. Lucius, on principle, had refused to believe them.(2)
He did not hear a response for several seconds, and he swept his eyes back up to the imposing figure in front of him. Tavington was now at a small wooden desk in one corner, toying with a piece of parchment. Lucius had never seen him feel the need to keep his hands busy before, and it only made him more curious. “Colonel?”
Tavington turned to him with a raised eyebrow, not saying anything at all.
“Perhaps you are not easily read either?” Lucius smiled in amusement, but the look on his face turned hesitant with the intense gaze of his commanding officer. Would Tavington snap at him again for making light of the colonel?
Yet Tavington, after a moment, broke out into a slight smile before his expression returned to its stony, pensive regularity. “No Lieutenant, I believe that my actions are fueled by much more…primal motives than yours. I am not hard to unravel.”
“What do you mean sir?” Lucius’ fair brows were knitted together as Tavington paced back to the doorway of the tent. He saw the man lacing up the flaps so that no one could enter, and tensed. What was it that the man intended to do?
And yet Tavington’s face was no harsher or fiercer than it had ever been when he turned back towards Lucius. In fact, the lieutenant thought that he caught a flicker of worry, perhaps apprehension, on the man’s face. “I trust, Lieutenant, that what I am about to say will not be the main topic of discussion in the soldier’s mess within the hour?” Lucius recognized that his sharp tone was motivated not by anger, but by fear. Nevertheless, he hated to be spoken to that way by a man he so admired.
“I would never betray you that way.” The very thought of it sent his eyes on a familiar path downwards, and his voice was softer than ever.
He heard Tavington sigh, and looked up. It was an unfamiliar sound, coming from so stoic a man as the Colonel. “Yes, yes. I know.” He paced for a moment. “How shall I put this…”
Lucius’ brows were still furrowed. “Sir?” He could not imagine what was going through the colonel’s head at this moment.
“There have been times, Lieutenant – not many, I assure you, but enough – when…” He paused, frowning, and then continued on. His voice was soft enough that those outside would not be able to hear their conversation. “When I have found that the presence of a woman was not enough to…quell certain desires and needs that my body has forced upon me.”
Lucius was silent.
“Come now Lieutenant. You must understand what I’m saying?” Tavington had turned away, gritting his teeth once more.
The soft voice of his companion drifted over. “I understand Colonel. Continue.” There was a trembling there that Tavington could not place, but he nodded and did as requested.
“I find that in London such…base desires are much too easy to fulfill.” He sneered. “Boys as well as girls on every corner, oh yes, how /civilized/.”
Lucius shuddered as he spoke, and the movement caught Tavington’s eye. “You seem to be affected Lieutenant.” He observed, voice curious.
Lucius was loath to respond to the unstated question, and yet Tavington’s gaze demanded that he do just that. “You…you truly believe what you say? That your…desire for this is base…that it must be eliminated? You despise it so?” His voice wavered, dipped, almost to soft for Tavington to hear and the older man had to strain to do so.
“It is not proper.” And yet there was a bemused air to the way Tavington said it, his head cocked to one side. He approached Lucius slowly. “Lieutenant, what is the matter?”
The fair head was bowed, and then Lucius’ voice, soft in volume yet so steely in tone, emerged, shocking the colonel. “Colonel Tavington, you have been so kind as to be perfectly frank with me. Will you allow me the honor of being the same?”
“By all means, Gray. Do say what’s on your mind.” If it had been anyone else, Lucius would have called the tone imploring. With Tavington, it was merely curious. He sighed before continuing.
“You say, Colonel Tavington, that I am an enigma, no? That the thoughts that fuel my actions must be so much more complex than your own.” He was still twisting that damn ring, and suddenly Tavington wanted to place his hand over the lieutenant’s, if only to stop the nervous action. He did no such thing, allowing the young man to continue. “Well, with your permission sir, I beg to disagree. I am not so different from you as you would believe.”
“Gray?”
“Come now /Colonel/.” The words were almost hissed, and it no longer a question as to whether the lieutenant was mocking the colonel or not. Tavington, however, was too confused to take any umbrage at his subordinate’s tone. “You must understand what I’m saying?”
The colonel’s eyes widened as his words were thrown back at him. “You…” He trailed off, glancing up and down this young man’s figure as he took the time to let this new information settle.
“Yes Colonel. Me.” And now, without blushing or flinching, the man could meet his superior’s eyes.
“Then that’s why you take those soft tones around me? Why you blush and flinch at my words? Because you…desire me?” Now that it had, at least slightly, sunk in, Tavington was both amused and a little regretful that he had resolved to give up sleeping with men.
“And so the enigma is revealed to be nothing more than a base need.” Lucius muttered bitterly, standing up to go. “Are you disappointed Colonel?”
“Gray. Wait.” Lucius balled his fists as he once again obeyed the colonel’s every command.
“God damn you. Why is it that you can command my body so?” Lucius was close to tears. This feeling that he had had…for all these years…the colonel regarded such things as base and disgusting? Then he would burden Tavington with them no longer. “If you wish, I will request to be transferred immediately.” His voice was monotone, not turning to look at the other man out of shame.
“Lieutenant Gray, stop this madness and hear me out for one moment!” Tavington’s words were worded in such a way that made them clear that this was a command, a command that Lucius must obey. He gritted his teeth. “Now turn around and face me.” Lucius turned, closing his eyes so that he would not cry. “Chin up, eyes open.”
He did just that, eyes glittering with tears, yet face set in a mask of disgust. “I hate you.” He spat softly.
Tavington reached out, and Lucius flinched, expecting to be slapped for such disrespect. Yet, the hand that reached him and finally touched him only caressed his cheek softly. Lucius stared up into those steel-colored eyes, and found them, for the first time in his memory, soft. “How you must have suffered, holding such a thing in so long for a length of time such as this.” Tavington murmured. Lucius didn’t dare breathe, eyes widening.
The tears spilled.
Lucius couldn’t hold them in, though it was a credit to the young soldier that they fell unannounced. He made no sound as he stumbled backwards, hit the bed and then lay sprawled on it, hands coming up to cover his face. He made no sound as he curled and shook, with a once-again shocked colonel standing near him, head tilted to a slight angle as he tried to comprehend just what was going on now. He made no sound as he sobbed in relief and despair.
“Gray…” It was so soft that Lucius hardly believed it was coming from the mouth of Colonel Tavington. Nothing soft, the last sentence the man spoke included, ever came from such a mouth. The line had blurred between reality and fantasy, and continued to blur as he heard Tavington walk over, felt him sit on the edge of the bed and rest his hand on a shaking shoulder. “Gray, please…listen to me.”
Lucius tried to stem the tears, but on succeeded in shuddering less. Apparently, Tavington took even that lessening as his sign, and continued. “I am deeply sorry that my words hurt you. You know I would have never said them had I known that you felt…this way.”
“But that does not stop you from thinking it.” Lucius’ voice was even softer, his body tense under Tavington’s touch.
“It is what society thinks!” The colonel protested, unwilling to be pinned with the blame.
“Damn society.” Lucius growled, twitching his shoulder now to get the man’s hand away.
“We must abide by its rules.” Tavington pressed, a bit annoyed now at the emotional man, well aware that he usually did no such thing. Yet it was a nice excuse, an easy out.
“You don’t!” Lucius cried out, turning violently to face the colonel, who had pulled back and was now narrowing his eyes dangerously. “You never have, and that’s why I-”
“Lower your voice Lieutenant.” Tavington interjected quickly, fiercely, in a low hiss. “Or I shall throw you out of this tent at once.”
Lucius glared back, but just as suddenly sighed and sunk back down. “And that’s why I’ve always loved you.” He finished ever so softly. “I believe that I should go.” He righted himself, not looking at the man beside him as he brushed off his dress uniform, now wrinkled from being curled upon itself.
It was then that Tavington surged forwards, his hand suddenly on the back of Lucius’ neck, his lips suddenly, maddeningly meshed to Lucius’ own. He felt the words formed before he ever heard them. “Stay, Lieutenant.”
Lucius pulled back, to look at the glorious, horrible specimen that was his higher-up. Tavington’s steel orbs were dancing with amusement and…perhaps joy and contentment. His hair, Lucius noted with amused frustration – see how quickly his anger vanished, he couldn’t help it – was not a wisp out of place. Typical. “I have a name.”
“Indeed?” There was that wry smile, mocking him. Tavington knew damn well what his name was, and yet he continued to play this game.
“It’s Lucius.”
“Lucius.” Tavington purred as he leaned forward to catch the man’s lips once more, with Lucius melting from the heat.
~*~
“You know, you are making it very difficult for me to keep my resolve.” Tavington remarked several minutes later, stroking Lucius’ cheek gently.
Lucius curled up against him, smiling softly. “Oh, am I?”
“You are, you little devil, and what is more, you know it.” Tavington chuckled.
Lucius reached up to draw him into a deeper kiss, but the colonel pulled away, shaking his head. “Not here Lucius. You know that as well as I.” He ran his fingers over the man’s lips. “Tomorrow. In the evening. I’ll come and get you.” Lucius whimpered as he was pushed off of the bed gently. “Now, get some rest.”
Nodding, the lieutenant stood up, and then turned back towards Tavington, who tilted his head to one side, and then smiled, the blush on his cheeks reminding Lucius of just how much alcohol the man had imbibed over the evening. “…You’ll forget this in the morning.” He realized with a sinking feeling in his stomach.
“Nonsense. Forget you? How could I?” Tavington rose, strode over to the man, pulled him into a dizzying kiss, and then released him. “Go to bed.”
Lucius purred, and then turned to go, unlacing the tent’s flaps before he looked over his shoulder at Tavington.
The colonel was staring at him gently, rubbing one hand up and down his other arm slowly, the most bemused smile on his face. “Good night Lucius.”
Lucius grinned. “Good night Colonel.” He then slipped out of the other man’s tent, and made his way back to his own bed, smiling as if he too had drank some great amount of wine.
It was only afterwards, staring at his face in the mirror, that he realized the source of the appreciative, amused whistles from the other soldiers that he had garnered during his return to the tent. His lips were swollen from kissing, and his hair, not all to neat or tightly secured in the first place, had become a right mess.
He touched his red lips tenderly, thinking of the day to come and what exactly would befall him.
~*~
(1) – Lord Lucan was actually a commander in the Crimean War (1853-1856), to whom partial responsibility of the Charge of the Light Brigade is assigned. (In fact, he was the one who ordered the Light Brigade to charge, but…it wasn’t entirely his fault. Annnyway.) Lucan, also British, was known for being extremely attentive to detail, and being very conscious of how his troops presented themselves, appearance-wise. His troops were nicknamed “Bingham’s Dandies” because of the way he dressed them up, at their own cost. He was in command of several different branches of cavalry over his military profession. As to why he’s here…^^ I needed a name
(2) – In an interview with Jason Isaacs, the actor said that the man that Tavington is based on, Tarleton, dropped out of law school because of a gambling and whoring problem. I was like “Whoring? Really? *evil little face* How…interesting.”
Summary: Colonel Tavington is intent on giving something up for good. Can a lieutenant under him change his mind, or with the stubborn colonel's will prevail yet again?
Pairing: Tavington/OMC
Disclaimers: I do not own Tavington or any of the Patriot characters. In the least. If I did, you would see Tavington with boys a lot more often. ;) I...half-own Lucius. His first name, hair and eyes belong to J.K Rowling, but that's where the resemblance to Malfoy ends.
AN: No reviews make Malice a very sad girl. :( Hah, for that, there’s no sex in this chapter either. (Lucius: *whispers to audience* There wasn’t going to be anyway. >>) *pats Tavington and Lucius* To forestall an “OMG, OOC!!!!1!!!one!” remark to Tavington’s behaviour later in the chapter, I’d like to point out that while I know, and have no intent of trying to deny, that he is an evil little bastard, I do believe that he had nice bones in his body, and that he can be kind to people that he likes. In the movie, we never see Tavington in a situation where something or someone is not annoying him, save one scene. After Martin’s first attack on the redcoats (to save Gabriel), Tavington talks to the surviving, wounded private. He is a bit clipped, but he’s not yelling at the man, and even tells him, rather kindly, to calm down and to take his time. See? Tavington isn’t all bad. Now imagine that with someone that Tavington realizes that he actually enjoys spending time with. And there you have my reasons for nice!Tavington. (Plus….he’s been drinkin’, which amplifies any emotions he might be feeling at the moment.)
By the way these: ‘/blah/’ are in place of italics, either used for emphasis or for a character’s thoughts. ^^
Swearing Them Off
In Which Lucius Becomes An Enigma And Tavington Is Unraveled
“I’m sure you preferred the leadership of Lord Lucan(1) over my own, did you not?” Bitter, spat-out words from the dark-haired man now sitting on his bed, part of the way through a second bottle of wine. Lucius was sure that Tavington would have a horrible headache come the next morning. They were the first words the man had spoken in a few minutes, and Lucius’ head snapped up at them, his gaze shifting from the carpet to the colonel.
“Oh, I don’t know…” He tried to smile, hoping to ease his commander’s sour mood. “You both tend to be rather rash.” He looked up through the long eyelashes that fenced in those light gray eyes, his smile growing wider.
“You mock me?” The Colonel demanded in a voice ripe with outrage. His eyes were blazing as he focused on the fair-haired boy. That wasn’t quite the reaction Lucius intended, and he dropped his eyes once more.
“No sir.” Lucius gulped. “I…I much prefer you over Lord Lucan.”
Tavington merely snorted, drawing now from the bottle itself, having entirely passed over the cup. “Oh yes? And why is that?” He muttered.
There was a reason that Lucius didn’t dare voice, so he gave the other, twisting a plain gold band that adorned one of his fingers. “Lord Lucan cares only for the way his soldiers appear in the eyes of others. It has been my experience that you, despite what others say, care for your men.” He replied softly.
The bottle, briefly at Tavington’s side, was making its way back up to his lips when he heard the lieutenant’s reply. Its passage stopped, and he snorted again. Did anyone so soft have any business being a soldier? And yet Gray never hesitated to kill an enemy. In fact, when he had watched the man, wondering at his behavior, he had seemed perfectly confidant with the other men, if not as crude or loud. So what was it that brought about this change? “Indeed.” He thought he heard a soft sigh from the other man’s vicinity, and chose to ignore it, bringing the bottle to his lips once more.
Lucius looked at him with a sideways glance, then dropped his eyes to his hands. It was amazing that the colonel wasn’t passed out drunk by now, but then again, Colonel Tavington was always able to hold his liquor. And remarkably well, it seemed, since other than a marked increase in his willingness to converse, the man had shown no other signs of drunkenness. Almost none, actually. Lucius looked back up, noting a faint spot of pink on either cheek, barely noticeable with the man’s tanned skin. His lips quirked into a smile.
“What?” Demanded the colonel testily, and Lucius shook his head, eyes dropping but the smile still remaining.
“Nothing sir.”
“There must be company more interesting than mine, surely Lieutenant.” He drawled slowly. “I have informed you of the current happenings. Was there anything more you needed to know?”
“No Colonel.” His voice was as soft as ever.
“Well then?”
Lucius’ next words were a soft whisper as he began to stand up, feeling it obvious that Tavington had tired of his presence and that he should leave before he angered the colonel any further.
“If you have something to say,” The colonel intoned through gritted teeth, eyes narrowed for what seemed the twentieth time during their conversation “I would thank you to say it loud enough for the both of us.”
Lucius looked at him, meeting his gaze for a moment before the younger wavered and then looked away. “You are that eager to get rid of me, then?”
That seemed to surprise the colonel, as he looked up with eyes narrowed for a different reason. After a moment, he placed the bottle down beside him and folded his arms over his chest. “I would have thought that you would be delighted to be out of my company. Most people can’t seem to stand half a minute, much less half an hour.”
“Colonel.” Lucius’ voice was still achingly soft as he advanced to stand in front of the other man, now managing to hold his gaze. “I sought you out. When you meant to retire into this tent, I followed you. Can you honestly think that I do not wish to be here?”
Tavington held the gaze as well; long enough that Lucius dropped his eyes to the floor, folding his arms behind his back. And yet the other man continued to look at him. Soon the lieutenant felt that he was being inspected. He dared to look back at the other man, and saw the colonel giving him one of his rare quizzical looks. When he saw Lucius looking at him, his expression changed to something equally as rare: a smile, however slight, not motivated by any malicious intent. “No, I suppose not.”
Lucius responded with his own smile, walking back to his vacated stool, when Tavington’s words stopped him yet again. The young man ground his teeth. /He really does have to stop that./ He thought.
“Gray, come sit here.” Tavington moved over, leaving enough room on the bed for both of them to sit. “And I have been horribly remiss. Would you like some wine?” He glanced around. “I can…now where did it go…find a cup for you, I’m sure.”
That only made Lucius’ smile grow. “No, thank you colonel. I’m not given to drinking.”
The other man shot him a sidelong glance, not maliciously but almost…amused, and raised one eyebrow. “No, you wouldn’t be, would you?” He smirked and then put down the bottle. When Lucius remained standing, he cocked his head to one side slightly. “Well? Sit.”
After the commanded had been done, the two men sat in silence once more, Lucius twisting his ring once more and Tavington merely watching him. After a minute or so of this, Lucius lifted his eyes to meet Tavington’s gaze curiously. The man had raised two fingers to his lips, and was resting them there. “What are you doing sir?” Lucius asked politely, trying not to blush in the presence of his commanding officer.
The drawled reply made it very hard not to do so. “Attempting to figure you out, Lieutenant.”
“I’m not difficult Colonel.” He replied softly, knowing that if he didn’t break the gaze soon, he WOULD blush and that it would only amuse Tavington more.
Tavington chuckled, and continued to stare at the younger man until the blood did rush to Lucius’ cheeks. The younger man tore his gaze away quickly, staring fiercely at his hands. “I beg to differ Lieutenant. You are an enigma.”
“If you say so, sir.” Lucius murmured softly, waiting for the blush to recede from his cheeks.
The colonel stood up, paced to the entrance of his tent and opened the flap for a moment, peering out before he turned back to the interior of the dwelling, one arm folded behind his back, the other by his side. “You know,” He stated conversationally “I think I might just stay here after this…skirmish is over.
Lucius’ head jerked up. “But…you hate the…colonials, don’t you? I have heard you say it yourself.” The lieutenant himself didn’t feel one way or another for the men they were fighting against. He knew that he should dislike them, but he couldn’t help feeling that they were not so dissimilar, these men that they clashed against. After all, the colonials had once been English too.
“The men themselves? Yes. Their land? Well, it is not as bad as they are.” Tavington laughed. “Not quite dear old England, yet not horrible.”
“It will be quite a change after London’s civilization.” Lucius remarked idly, simply continuing to make conversation, his eyes once again on the little gold ring.
The bitterness, then, of Tavington’s next remark took him by surprise. “Some areas of London, I find, are not as civilized as one might think.”
“Sir?” It confused Lucius, but then he wondered if the older man might be referring to his father’s gambling habits, or perhaps – and this Lucius had only heard rumors of – his father’s more…lecherous habits. There was even the possibility, however faint, that the colonel was referring to his own problems, the rumors of which were even more faint. Lucius, on principle, had refused to believe them.(2)
He did not hear a response for several seconds, and he swept his eyes back up to the imposing figure in front of him. Tavington was now at a small wooden desk in one corner, toying with a piece of parchment. Lucius had never seen him feel the need to keep his hands busy before, and it only made him more curious. “Colonel?”
Tavington turned to him with a raised eyebrow, not saying anything at all.
“Perhaps you are not easily read either?” Lucius smiled in amusement, but the look on his face turned hesitant with the intense gaze of his commanding officer. Would Tavington snap at him again for making light of the colonel?
Yet Tavington, after a moment, broke out into a slight smile before his expression returned to its stony, pensive regularity. “No Lieutenant, I believe that my actions are fueled by much more…primal motives than yours. I am not hard to unravel.”
“What do you mean sir?” Lucius’ fair brows were knitted together as Tavington paced back to the doorway of the tent. He saw the man lacing up the flaps so that no one could enter, and tensed. What was it that the man intended to do?
And yet Tavington’s face was no harsher or fiercer than it had ever been when he turned back towards Lucius. In fact, the lieutenant thought that he caught a flicker of worry, perhaps apprehension, on the man’s face. “I trust, Lieutenant, that what I am about to say will not be the main topic of discussion in the soldier’s mess within the hour?” Lucius recognized that his sharp tone was motivated not by anger, but by fear. Nevertheless, he hated to be spoken to that way by a man he so admired.
“I would never betray you that way.” The very thought of it sent his eyes on a familiar path downwards, and his voice was softer than ever.
He heard Tavington sigh, and looked up. It was an unfamiliar sound, coming from so stoic a man as the Colonel. “Yes, yes. I know.” He paced for a moment. “How shall I put this…”
Lucius’ brows were still furrowed. “Sir?” He could not imagine what was going through the colonel’s head at this moment.
“There have been times, Lieutenant – not many, I assure you, but enough – when…” He paused, frowning, and then continued on. His voice was soft enough that those outside would not be able to hear their conversation. “When I have found that the presence of a woman was not enough to…quell certain desires and needs that my body has forced upon me.”
Lucius was silent.
“Come now Lieutenant. You must understand what I’m saying?” Tavington had turned away, gritting his teeth once more.
The soft voice of his companion drifted over. “I understand Colonel. Continue.” There was a trembling there that Tavington could not place, but he nodded and did as requested.
“I find that in London such…base desires are much too easy to fulfill.” He sneered. “Boys as well as girls on every corner, oh yes, how /civilized/.”
Lucius shuddered as he spoke, and the movement caught Tavington’s eye. “You seem to be affected Lieutenant.” He observed, voice curious.
Lucius was loath to respond to the unstated question, and yet Tavington’s gaze demanded that he do just that. “You…you truly believe what you say? That your…desire for this is base…that it must be eliminated? You despise it so?” His voice wavered, dipped, almost to soft for Tavington to hear and the older man had to strain to do so.
“It is not proper.” And yet there was a bemused air to the way Tavington said it, his head cocked to one side. He approached Lucius slowly. “Lieutenant, what is the matter?”
The fair head was bowed, and then Lucius’ voice, soft in volume yet so steely in tone, emerged, shocking the colonel. “Colonel Tavington, you have been so kind as to be perfectly frank with me. Will you allow me the honor of being the same?”
“By all means, Gray. Do say what’s on your mind.” If it had been anyone else, Lucius would have called the tone imploring. With Tavington, it was merely curious. He sighed before continuing.
“You say, Colonel Tavington, that I am an enigma, no? That the thoughts that fuel my actions must be so much more complex than your own.” He was still twisting that damn ring, and suddenly Tavington wanted to place his hand over the lieutenant’s, if only to stop the nervous action. He did no such thing, allowing the young man to continue. “Well, with your permission sir, I beg to disagree. I am not so different from you as you would believe.”
“Gray?”
“Come now /Colonel/.” The words were almost hissed, and it no longer a question as to whether the lieutenant was mocking the colonel or not. Tavington, however, was too confused to take any umbrage at his subordinate’s tone. “You must understand what I’m saying?”
The colonel’s eyes widened as his words were thrown back at him. “You…” He trailed off, glancing up and down this young man’s figure as he took the time to let this new information settle.
“Yes Colonel. Me.” And now, without blushing or flinching, the man could meet his superior’s eyes.
“Then that’s why you take those soft tones around me? Why you blush and flinch at my words? Because you…desire me?” Now that it had, at least slightly, sunk in, Tavington was both amused and a little regretful that he had resolved to give up sleeping with men.
“And so the enigma is revealed to be nothing more than a base need.” Lucius muttered bitterly, standing up to go. “Are you disappointed Colonel?”
“Gray. Wait.” Lucius balled his fists as he once again obeyed the colonel’s every command.
“God damn you. Why is it that you can command my body so?” Lucius was close to tears. This feeling that he had had…for all these years…the colonel regarded such things as base and disgusting? Then he would burden Tavington with them no longer. “If you wish, I will request to be transferred immediately.” His voice was monotone, not turning to look at the other man out of shame.
“Lieutenant Gray, stop this madness and hear me out for one moment!” Tavington’s words were worded in such a way that made them clear that this was a command, a command that Lucius must obey. He gritted his teeth. “Now turn around and face me.” Lucius turned, closing his eyes so that he would not cry. “Chin up, eyes open.”
He did just that, eyes glittering with tears, yet face set in a mask of disgust. “I hate you.” He spat softly.
Tavington reached out, and Lucius flinched, expecting to be slapped for such disrespect. Yet, the hand that reached him and finally touched him only caressed his cheek softly. Lucius stared up into those steel-colored eyes, and found them, for the first time in his memory, soft. “How you must have suffered, holding such a thing in so long for a length of time such as this.” Tavington murmured. Lucius didn’t dare breathe, eyes widening.
The tears spilled.
Lucius couldn’t hold them in, though it was a credit to the young soldier that they fell unannounced. He made no sound as he stumbled backwards, hit the bed and then lay sprawled on it, hands coming up to cover his face. He made no sound as he curled and shook, with a once-again shocked colonel standing near him, head tilted to a slight angle as he tried to comprehend just what was going on now. He made no sound as he sobbed in relief and despair.
“Gray…” It was so soft that Lucius hardly believed it was coming from the mouth of Colonel Tavington. Nothing soft, the last sentence the man spoke included, ever came from such a mouth. The line had blurred between reality and fantasy, and continued to blur as he heard Tavington walk over, felt him sit on the edge of the bed and rest his hand on a shaking shoulder. “Gray, please…listen to me.”
Lucius tried to stem the tears, but on succeeded in shuddering less. Apparently, Tavington took even that lessening as his sign, and continued. “I am deeply sorry that my words hurt you. You know I would have never said them had I known that you felt…this way.”
“But that does not stop you from thinking it.” Lucius’ voice was even softer, his body tense under Tavington’s touch.
“It is what society thinks!” The colonel protested, unwilling to be pinned with the blame.
“Damn society.” Lucius growled, twitching his shoulder now to get the man’s hand away.
“We must abide by its rules.” Tavington pressed, a bit annoyed now at the emotional man, well aware that he usually did no such thing. Yet it was a nice excuse, an easy out.
“You don’t!” Lucius cried out, turning violently to face the colonel, who had pulled back and was now narrowing his eyes dangerously. “You never have, and that’s why I-”
“Lower your voice Lieutenant.” Tavington interjected quickly, fiercely, in a low hiss. “Or I shall throw you out of this tent at once.”
Lucius glared back, but just as suddenly sighed and sunk back down. “And that’s why I’ve always loved you.” He finished ever so softly. “I believe that I should go.” He righted himself, not looking at the man beside him as he brushed off his dress uniform, now wrinkled from being curled upon itself.
It was then that Tavington surged forwards, his hand suddenly on the back of Lucius’ neck, his lips suddenly, maddeningly meshed to Lucius’ own. He felt the words formed before he ever heard them. “Stay, Lieutenant.”
Lucius pulled back, to look at the glorious, horrible specimen that was his higher-up. Tavington’s steel orbs were dancing with amusement and…perhaps joy and contentment. His hair, Lucius noted with amused frustration – see how quickly his anger vanished, he couldn’t help it – was not a wisp out of place. Typical. “I have a name.”
“Indeed?” There was that wry smile, mocking him. Tavington knew damn well what his name was, and yet he continued to play this game.
“It’s Lucius.”
“Lucius.” Tavington purred as he leaned forward to catch the man’s lips once more, with Lucius melting from the heat.
~*~
“You know, you are making it very difficult for me to keep my resolve.” Tavington remarked several minutes later, stroking Lucius’ cheek gently.
Lucius curled up against him, smiling softly. “Oh, am I?”
“You are, you little devil, and what is more, you know it.” Tavington chuckled.
Lucius reached up to draw him into a deeper kiss, but the colonel pulled away, shaking his head. “Not here Lucius. You know that as well as I.” He ran his fingers over the man’s lips. “Tomorrow. In the evening. I’ll come and get you.” Lucius whimpered as he was pushed off of the bed gently. “Now, get some rest.”
Nodding, the lieutenant stood up, and then turned back towards Tavington, who tilted his head to one side, and then smiled, the blush on his cheeks reminding Lucius of just how much alcohol the man had imbibed over the evening. “…You’ll forget this in the morning.” He realized with a sinking feeling in his stomach.
“Nonsense. Forget you? How could I?” Tavington rose, strode over to the man, pulled him into a dizzying kiss, and then released him. “Go to bed.”
Lucius purred, and then turned to go, unlacing the tent’s flaps before he looked over his shoulder at Tavington.
The colonel was staring at him gently, rubbing one hand up and down his other arm slowly, the most bemused smile on his face. “Good night Lucius.”
Lucius grinned. “Good night Colonel.” He then slipped out of the other man’s tent, and made his way back to his own bed, smiling as if he too had drank some great amount of wine.
It was only afterwards, staring at his face in the mirror, that he realized the source of the appreciative, amused whistles from the other soldiers that he had garnered during his return to the tent. His lips were swollen from kissing, and his hair, not all to neat or tightly secured in the first place, had become a right mess.
He touched his red lips tenderly, thinking of the day to come and what exactly would befall him.
~*~
(1) – Lord Lucan was actually a commander in the Crimean War (1853-1856), to whom partial responsibility of the Charge of the Light Brigade is assigned. (In fact, he was the one who ordered the Light Brigade to charge, but…it wasn’t entirely his fault. Annnyway.) Lucan, also British, was known for being extremely attentive to detail, and being very conscious of how his troops presented themselves, appearance-wise. His troops were nicknamed “Bingham’s Dandies” because of the way he dressed them up, at their own cost. He was in command of several different branches of cavalry over his military profession. As to why he’s here…^^ I needed a name
(2) – In an interview with Jason Isaacs, the actor said that the man that Tavington is based on, Tarleton, dropped out of law school because of a gambling and whoring problem. I was like “Whoring? Really? *evil little face* How…interesting.”