AFF Fiction Portal

Jenny Jones

By: Leliane
folder Star Wars (All) › General
Rating: Adult +
Chapters: 6
Views: 1,418
Reviews: 11
Recommended: 0
Currently Reading: 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Star Wars movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
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Episode 2

Announcer Dude: Hi everyone. Support the Foundation for the Survival of Computer Desks. The author really mistreats her, so boycott this story. This has been a public service announcement. And now back to your regularly scheduled program.

Yoda: *waves hand in front of audience and camera* Disregard that you will.

Audience and random TV viewers: Disregard that we will.

Yoda: Good this is. Scott Summers, our next guest is. Come out he will.

*applause*

Random Audience Member (here on known as RAM): Hey, I thought this was just Star Wars characters!

Lessa: (randomly entering) Hi. I’m the author. I’d like to point out that the title of THIS fic is Jenny Jones. JUST Jenny Jones. It’s a rewrite.

RAM: Ohh. . . Thanks.

Lessa: *nods and exits*

Scott: (entering) Hi.

Yoda: *waving gimer stick* Explain problem, you will.

Scott: *gulp* Well, see, I’m kinda dating this girl. We were fine before this new guy showed up at the boarding school we work at. Now I think she’s, you know, with him.

Yoda: Hmm. Interesting this is. Help you I can, yes, hmm. (GO EMPIRE!!!!! [strikes back]) Bring out girl in question, we will. Jean Grey, she is.

Jean: Wazzah?

Yoda: Believe you may be cheating, Scott does.

Jean: *totally fake innocent look* What? Me? Cheat? Preposterous!

Scott: *muttering* Yeah, and they way you look at Logan means ABSOLUTELY nothing. . .

Yoda: Hmph. Bring out this Logan we will.

Logan: Yo. Waddah? Heya, Fearless Leader.

Scott: *grinding teeth* How many times have I told you NOT to call me that?

Logan: *grins* Lost count.

Yoda: Ask why, I must, why stuck with such idiots, I am.

Lessa: (randomly poking head in) Because you’re a conniving old troll. *exit*

Yoda: *waving gimer stick* Conniving old troll I am not!

Scott: … I’m confused.

Logan: So what else is new?

Scott: Hey, fuck you!

Logan: Wha. . .Did Fearless Leader just CURSE? *fakes heart attack*

Scott: Why you. . .*Throws self at Logan with intention of destroying him*

Yoda: Enough this is! *Force levitates Scott away from Logan* Ask the woman we will!

Jean: Oh. . .uh. . .

Scott: *scowling* Fuck this. If you loved me, it wouldn’t even be a choice.

Jean: Fuck you too, pansy.

(Scott is about to level Jean with a blast from his laser blasty eye thingies, but is stopped by the conniving old troll.)

Yoda: Conniving old troll I am not! Conspiracy it is!

Lessa: (backstage) *snicker and continue to type away*

Qui-Gon-Ghost: Hello.

Logan: AHH!!!!! Shit, man, scared me. SHIT IT’S A GHOST!!!!

QGG: A Force specter, thank you.

Lessa: (poking head in) That’s fancy talk for Jedi ghost. (removes head)

QGG: *offended* That hurts! And WHY is my name Qui-Gon-Ghost in the script? I’ll thank you to know it’s JUST Qui-Gon.

Lessa: (poking head out again) *shrug* Gotta differentiate, man. You dead. (removes head)

QGG: What the fuck? Get back here you vicious little bitch!

Lessa: *snicker*

(QGG stalks off in search of Lessa)

Scott: Fine. I’m leaving. Bye. *exit*

Logan: So, Jeannie, how’s about you ‘n’ me. . .

Jean: Way ahead of you, tiger.

(They leave)

Yoda: Another commercial break we have.

Lessa: And a new host!

Yoda: *glare* New host there is not!

Lessa: *evil grin* Vote the audience will. For the conniving old troll or someone else.

Yoda: Stop attempting to talk like me, you will!

Lessa: See y’all when we get back! *runs from conniving old troll wielding deadly midget lightsaber*

Pippin: Whoa, Merry, we HAVE to get one of THOSE!

Merry: Shut up, Pip! We’re keeping the people from their commercial!

Pippin: Oh. Sorry.
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