May the Force be with Ya'll

TITLE: May the Force be with Ya’ll
AUTHOR: Schmootika
RATING: R and at times NC-17
SUMMARY: A humorous tale of a group of girlfriends on their weekend retreat.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything in the Star Wars universe. I make no money from the stories I write.


WARNINGS: Language


PART II

‘Lord Vader? I must be dreaming,’ she thought.

Renee moved to the end of the bed and squinted as she tried to focus on the holoprojector. The figure appeared to be a clone trooper. She rubbed her eyes and mumbled, “This can’t be.”

The figure called out once more, “Lord Vader, do you copy?” The trooper looked over his shoulder and said, “He does not answer,” and with that, the figure disappeared.

Renee was in a state of shock and not entirely sure if she was dreaming or the drinks were still affecting her. Bonnie came in yawning, arms in the air stretching and asked, “What was that noise?”

“The holoprojector went off. Some dude wanted to talk to Lord Vader,” Renee answered, still sitting bolt upright in her bed with her mouth hanging open.

Laughing, Bonnie said, “Right. And I’m the fuckin’ Easter bunny.”

“No seriously. The damn thing started chirping and Nikolas swatted it and I swear a clone trooper appeared,” Renee said, the words spilling out of her mouth.

Bonnie’s eyes went wide “No shit? So the damn thang ain’t broken. What did ya tell him?”

“It seemed like he didn’t see me.” Renee replied as she slid off the bed and retrieved the projector.

Renee’s head was a buzz with ideas. If the trooper was looking for Vader, could he be here? Was the indentation Bonnie saw in the field his ship? Is it the man in black or before he went to Mustafar?

‘That’s just wishful thinking. Get a grip girl,’ Renee smirked to herself and breathed deeply, trying to collect her thoughts. She glanced over to Bonnie, “You recorded that in here didn’t you Bonnie?” she asked suspiciously, turning the projector over studying it for the hundredth time.

“What? Like I’ve got sense enough to do that. I couldn’t even turn the damn thang on,” Bonnie replied snottily.

“Maybe it’s a prerecorded message. I wonder where this thing really came from,” Renee asked, not really looking for an answer from her friend. “Go back to bed. I’ll see ya in the morning.”

Yawning, Bonnie said, “Sure. See ya,” as she stumbled back down the hallway to her bedroom.

Looking at the projector, Renee thought, ‘It’s got to be a trick. This damn thing can’t possibly reach to the Star Wars galaxy. Oh damnit girl, stop thinkin’ like it’s a real place anyway. Some redneck couldn’t figure out how to work this thing and dropped it as he stumbled through that field. Yeah that’s it. It’s just a fuckin’ toy.’ She sat the device on her dresser, snorted at herself and crawled back into bed letting sleep take hold of her once again.

Cindy was the first one to wake up the next morning and she shuffled into the kitchen to start some coffee. Shortly after, Martha wandered in, sniffing and grumbled, “I smell coffee.”

Cindy replied between yawns, “Yeah. I figured we needed a kick in the ass to get us started this morning.”

The two of them sat at the kitchen table sipping coffee, smoking and discussing last evening’s conversations.

“Did you see the look on her face when Bonnie handed her that thing?” Cindy asked.

Martha looked up from her coffee and replied, “Yeah, you would’ve thought someone punched her in the gut. I hope she’s not on a tear about that damned thing today.”

Martha stretched and yawned as she stood up to fill her coffee cup. Cindy sat back and noticed Nikolas sitting patiently beside her. As she reached down to scratch him, he purred and did figure eights around her chair.

Martha plopped back down in her chair and they started making plans for a shopping trip and a relaxing day of pampering at the salon. Just as the talk turned to which mall they wanted to go to, Bonnie came into the kitchen. She did not speak to the other two nor even acknowledge they were in the kitchen with her.

Opening the cabinet looking for another coffee mug, she finally spoke as she filled her mug, “Morning.”

“Aren’t we a fuckin’ ray of sunshine this morning?” Cindy asked in her brightest most bubbly voice.

“Kiss my ass!” Bonnie spat out as she sat down at the table and grabbed her smokes.

“Stayed up a bit too late last night or had too much vodka?” Cindy asked.

Bonnie sighed as she held her head “Both. And too much weirdness.”

“Weirdness? Did someone come to visit you last night?” Martha asked with a big grin on her face.

“Naw, but it seems the gadget went off last night and someone talked to Renee,” she replied as she sucked down the last of her coffee and lit another cigarette. “She thinks it was a clone trooper. I don’t know cuz I didn’t see it. Maybe it was the vodka talking to her,” Bonnie smirked.

Martha sighed loudly, “Well shit. I was hoping we wouldn’t have to listen to that crap today.”

Bonnie shrugged her shoulders and stood up to retrieve another cup of coffee when she heard a chirping coming from Renee’s room. They all looked at each other and rose to meet at the threshold of Renee’s bedroom.

“Let’s get that damned thing before she wakes up,” Cindy whispered as the others nodded their heads.

As the three of them crept into Renee’s room, Nikolas shot past them and hopped up onto the dresser. Bonnie looked over at Renee, who was still blissfully passed out, loudly snoring. Nikolas cooed as he reached out a paw to smack the device but Cindy grabbed it before he could get his paws on it. She ran out of the bedroom like greased lightning and into the living room as a small person appeared in the center of the device.

“Where is Lord Vader?” The trooper asked sounding quite agitated.

The other girls had quickly joined her and gasped in shock as they stared at the small figure.

Cindy’s mouth fell open as she stammered, “Whh…who?”

“Who are you? This is a secure channel,” the trooper questioned.

Cindy dropped the device and the trooper disappeared. “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit” she murmured over and over.

Bonnie knelt down and picked up the device “That was no random recording, he actually saw you,” she said in a shocked whisper, her eyes wide with panic. She studied the device for a moment before turning to her friends.

Martha said, “I think we should get rid of that damned thing. We don’t want no crazies coming to find us.”

Bonnie held the device close to her chest as she giggled nervously, “They’ll find Renee, not us. But I understand where you’re comin’ from. Maybe…,” her voice trailed off as she turned to see Renee standing behind her.

“What?” Renee asked as she yawned.

Martha quickly moved in front of Bonnie and put her hands on Renee’s shoulders, “Oh nothing sweetie. You want some coffee?”

Renee sighed and rubbed her eyes as she said, “Coffee would be lovely.”

Martha led her back to the kitchen as the other girls followed. Bonnie lingered behind and stashed the device between the cushions of the couch. The girls wandered into the kitchen as Cindy offered to cook breakfast and they all sat around waiting on her culinary delights.

As they all munched on breakfast, Nikolas scrambled around the corner, mewing loudly and headed straight for the living room. Cindy and Bonnie looked at each other with eyes wide as Martha stood up, took their empty plates and started clanging in the kitchen sink.

“Wonder what’s crawled up his ass?” Renee asked as she lit up a smoke and grabbed her coffee mug.

“I don’t know, but I’ll, uh, make sure he ain’t knockin’ nuthin’ over,” Bonnie replied as she quickly stood up and scurried to the living room.

Cindy looked at Renee and said, “You know what? I think a hot shower would clear out the cobwebs.”

Cindy smiled and walked slowly out of the room.

Renee took one more drag off her smoke and said, “That sounds like a plan,” and left the kitchen heading toward the other bathroom.

Martha listened for the noise of running water before she dropped the dishes and rapidly joined Bonnie in the living room. In a low voice she asked, “What’s the deal?”

Bonnie whispered her reply, “That damned thing is going off again,” as she pointed to Nikolas.

They both looked at Nikolas sitting on the couch reaching his paw between the cushions. Bonnie picked him up and plopped him on the floor, then lifted the cushions to look, almost panic stricken, at the chirping device.

“Are you gonna pick it up?” Martha asked, her eyes as wide as saucers.

“Shit, I’m scared to,” Bonnie replied as she stared at it.

“Hell girl, I’ll do it,” Martha said as she leaned forward and picked up the device.

A trooper once again appeared on the small round platform and, rather haughtily, asked, “Where is Lord Vader?”

“He ain’t here, buddy,” Martha snorted out as she squinted her eyes. “If he was here, he would be occupied, I assure you.”

The trooper cocked his head and said, “Excuse me?”

Bonnie chuckled at the trooper’s response and she could tell that Martha was fixin’ to let him have it.

“Ain’t no excuse for you pestering us, dickhead,” she said as placed her hand on her hip, her head starting to swivel side to side, “You need to quit callin’ here. If we find this Vader, we’ll tell him to call ya. You understand me?”

“We need to reach him immediately,” the trooper replied with a tone of urgency in his voice.

“I don’t give a shit what you need, buddy. When and if he shows up, I’ll tell him to holler back,” she spit out as she crinkled her nose and dropped the device back on the couch.

“Whoa, that was, strange,” Bonnie said as she replaced the cushion and plopped down on the couch. “What are we gonna tell Renee?” she asked as Martha joined her.

“Not a damned thang,” Martha replied with a sigh.