Frustrations of a Jedi or The Fragrance (Complete)

Qui-Gon

Oh no, what did I just do? After Obi-Wan left, I just hung my head in shame. I don’t know what shamed me though- the thought of me masturbating over my Padawan, the realisation I got caught or Obi-Wan running away in shock and shame. I don’t even know what made me masturbate over him in the first place.

It has all started at his training session. I had been with the Jedi Council at the time so I couldn’t accompany him but the Council had less to say than I had thought so afterwards I went to his training session and watched. I didn’t want to intrude so I watched from a hidden place. As I watched him train, I felt pride. I chuckled to myself that I once objected to taking this brilliant student to be my Padawan.

And yet on that night, I felt something different. The other students were full of energy and Obi-Wan had to work extra hard to keep up and it were obviously he was becoming hot and sweaty from the extra hard work. Even from my spot, I could see the sweat pour down his face and finding it hard to keep his breath. To see him like that- it turned me on. It seriously did. This did not shock me, especially when I felt an erection. As a Master, I felt a strong connection- it was my duty after all- but I always felt there was something stronger, something deeper, something similar to what I felt for……. Xanatos.

I couldn’t be seen like this so I went back to our apartment. As I moved towards my bedroom, I saw a discarded cloak on a chair. I picked it up and immediately knew it was Obi-Wan’s cloak. His smell was woven into the cloak. I lifted the cloak to my nostrils and my erection hardened, ready to burst. I took the cloak under my arm and went into my bedroom. I walked to my bed and laid Obi-Wan’s cloak on the bed.

I undressed slowly, feeling my erection brush against my trousers as they fell to the floor. I spread the cloak on the bed and laid on it. I wrapped some of the cloak around my chest, inhaling that beautiful and erotic fragrance as my cock pulsed. With one hand on the cloak pressing on my chest, I wrapped my other hand onto my cock and began to stroke it slowly. As I closed my eyes, erotic images enter my mind and I began moving in earnest. I could see him in my mind. Obi-Wan kissing me passionately and then moving down my naked body with his tongue. I could see him sucking and licking my cock. It was so erotic and I could almost feel his tongue licking and sucking. Soon I was pumping my erection and I knew I was going to come.

As my cock ached for release, I opened my eyes and I saw him. He was not in my mind anymore arousing me. He was by my doorway looking at me with shock and shame. I immediately wrapped his cloak around me and moved toward him calling his name but he left. I dropped his cloak and pulled on my trousers and ran to his door. I tried to open it but it was locked. I banged on his door and called out his name. I don’t know why I carried on shouting, even when he told me to go away but I did. I guess I wanted him to know I was sorry and that it was a mistake.

Eventually I gave up and left him for a while. I went to the shower and masturbated for my cock was still aching for release. It was not as pleasant as the situation in the bedroom and my orgasm was not good at all. All I felt was shame and sadness that my own Padawan had caught me masturbating over him.

As I recovered from my orgasm, I dressed in my trousers and moved back to Obi-Wan’s room. I felt nothing but confusion coming from him. I used the Force to unlock his door and walked in. He had his back towards me with his hands behind his ears. He looked like a baby all curled up in his robes. I sat down at the edge of the bed and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Obi-Wan. Please look at me.” I whispered

I shouldn’t have said a word really. Almost immediately, he got up and ran out of the room. I ran after him but he was too quick for me. The last I saw of him, he was out of the apartment and probably running out far into the corridor. I decided to let him go. He was in no obvious mood to talk to me- maybe he didn’t want to talk to me again, ever. I know I was his Master but maybe he wouldn’t be able to see me in that light anymore. It’d be hard to train him if he thought that I only saw him sexually and not as an apprentice.

I sat on the edge of my bed with Obi-Wan’s cloak resting a few inches from me and I held my head in shame. This was unusual for me because I have always been considered to be a rebel. Many times I have been told that if I followed the Code strictly, I would have been on the Council many moons ago but to be honest, I felt that sometimes the Code was meant to be broken for reasons that cannot be controlled or explained. I felt that way when Xanatos became my apprentice. Even after what happened with him, I felt this way. However, after Xanatos, I decided not to commit again and I would not make the same mistake with my next apprentice, not that I thought there’d be another apprentice. I was so insecure, thinking that I could never train anyone else again.

That is until Obi-Wan came into my life. Although I was reluctant at first, I still trained him, keeping the bond between us professional. And yet, I found myself breaking my own principles. As the young boy grew into a man, I found myself falling in love with Obi-Wan. He was so different from Xanatos. He was as beautiful but his beauty was far more pure and he had no evil in him. As time grew on, I knew he would not turn to the Dark Side.

As our bond grew, so did my love for him and yet I could not bring myself to tell him. I mean, he was young and how could he fall in love with an old man such as me? And so I kept it all inside. I kept in my aching for you, my need for him and continued to keep a professional yet friendly bond between us.

That is until tonight.

I don’t know how long I was there with my hands, deep in my thoughts and shame but I knew it was a long time because the sun set was setting and night time had sunk in. The lights from the traffic shone through my window, bring quick flashes of light into the dark room. I listened carefully for Obi-Wan to come back but he never did. I decided to wait until tomorrow and talk to him about it. Picking up the cloak, I lay down on my bed and wrapped the cloak around me. I found Obi-Wan’s fragrance somewhat comforting and I tried to fall asleep.

As I tried, only one thought came to me: Gods above, I love him.