Don't Worry, Shakespeare

[chapter two]
“Bad for Business”


My eyes rolled to the back of my head. The deafening crowd of lustful men was yelling my name, calling me from my hiding place behind the curtain. Harold had told me he had never heard a crowd so eager for a girl on her debut. Something worked. Some part of my act or Harold’s publicity must have clicked in every man’s mind, and now I was their little star. Their angel. Their Angevin.

A crusty old mirror reflected my dimly lit body and the sex kitten smile on my face. Every stagehand around me was fixing something. My hair needed pinning. My bustle needed fluffing. My corset needed lacing. If something needed to be done, it was. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Harold waddle up to the bustling mass around me, hoping to get in a word or two.

“Well done!” He jovially threw his arms in the air. “Chickpea, you were marvelous!” Harold was beaming with pride, the glint of good profit in his eyes. “You’re the most successful can-can we’ve had yet!”

I soaked up every word like a sponge. My energy was low, but the stage lights had something about them. Their magical qualities seemed to fuel a fire within my soul. My addiction to the limelight was growing, but every man’s face in the crowd became Campbell’s. Every cat call came from his mouth. Every upturned eye belonged to him. I was beginning to understand why Harold kept the “no love interests” philosophy.

“If you’ll excuse us,” Harold addressed the stagehands, pushing them aside. He put his hand on my waist and led me around the corner for a little chat. “We have a buyer,” He murmured to me once out of earshot. “He’s a very wealthy, very well respected man. Give him precisely what he wants, and he’ll give us precisely what we want, alright?”

I vaguely smiled, nodding my head in small motions.

“Good thing, chickpea. Make me proud!” Harold beamed, kissing my forehead. Grabbing the corner of my elbow, he led me back around the corner to the staging area. I felt loosely like show poodle, but the life was beginning to grow on me. Maybe it wasn’t so bad to be admired and wanted by men. Feminine charm will get you almost anything.

When the stagehands signaled my entrance, there was a man sitting in a chair on the stage. He’s the one. He’s the man I’m supposed to give precisely what he wants. Cheers, whistles, and cat calls nearly deafened me as I sauntered across the stage, standing in front of the man who had bought me for an evening. His face was soft, but his eyes were hard. He had no air of age about him so much as a sense of dignity. A well distinguished man with a well tailored suit. He undressed me with his eyes. He wouldn’t have to imagine for much longer.

“Although I would love to wrap you all up and take you home with me tonight,” I buttered up the audience, “it seems that I can only have one.” I left them hanging, jutting out my lower lip. The desired effect washed over the men as a resounding sound of sorrow swept through the hall. “But just for now.” The shower of cheering and whistling rained down on me once more, washing away any remaining anxiety. “Grab your ladies!” I yelled. “Let’s dance!”

The band struck up a fast paced waltz as I grabbed the man’s hand, leading him backstage. “Should I walk you to your room?” I proposed.

“I should be delighted Miss Angevin,” his voice rattled. It was lower than I had expected. Silky and smooth, it ran down from his lips to his collarbone before dripping onto the ground. I silently sneered at his slimy nature. The man seemed altogether sultry, but something just sounded a little off. Either way, I had a job to do. That’s all he was, a job. The man extended his hand to me, and I placed my gloved palm within his. His fingers immediately wrapped around mine, drawing the back of my hand up to his lips. He kissed it ever so gently, the sound of his voice dripping from his lips once more.
“Pleasure,” he simply stated. That’s it? No name? My mind traced his intentions and decided to let go his anonymity. I didn’t need to know. He’s a job.

I led him through the bustling corridors and up a spiral staircase only to descend down another. We finally found our way to the giant doors that opened to the courtyard where the giant elephant stood guard. We stopped. I stood on the steps and pointed toward the entrance of the behemoth.

“Go on in. I’ll be up before your can say ‘opium’,” I teased. It was true. “A girl has to freshen up,” I reminded the man when he turned and looked at me in confusion. Seeing that he didn’t believe me to follow, I drew him in to a deep kiss, moving one hand down to his groin. “Do you believe me now?” I whispered into his lips. I read the disbelief in his eyes begin to melt. Just to seal the deal, I grabbed his hand and placed it in between my legs, through the slit in my skirt. His fingers began to move up and inside my undergarments. He found what I hoped he would and began to rub in small circles. The air withheld in my lungs slowly took shape into a moan, squeezed out between my lips and then between his. He gave me a pinch, and then dug a single finger between my folds. I could feel him inside me, wriggling, pumping, teasing my womanhood. His thumb savagely pressed against my mound as he dug another finger inside me, pumping in and out. My breathing began to speed up. I felt my heart race. He pulled me in to a forceful kiss with his free hand, continuing to pleasure me with the other. I moaned against him, unable to withhold it any longer. I broke the kiss. The man grabbed the back of my head and moved his lips to my ear.

“I can feel you throbbing.”

“Then you believe me?” I moved my hands to the invader between my legs, gently persuading him to pull away. “I’ll come back.” Now it was my turn to put my lips to his ear. “I want you,” I whispered coarsely. A lie, of course. The only touch I’d grown to love and have affection for was Cam’s, but I can’t exactly let Harold down. He’d taken me in, given me a home and a family. He had given me a job! I couldn’t screw this one up. Not my first customer…

I must have said the right thing for he looked me up and down before turning to walk off in the direction of the elephant. My heart steadied. My breathing evened out. I turned my gaze to my bedroom window that overlooked the courtyard. The dim figure of a man could be seen through the glass.

“Campbell.”

I snaked my way back through the halls, unable to believe just how easily I’d convinced the customer to stay. The ease with which I gave up my privacy astounded me. I had been trained for this night for the past three years and I now see why I needed it. Never would I even comprehend handling a situation so unspoken as what went on in the rooms here at the Moulin. Before I knew it, I was standing in front of my own door. I pushed it open and found Cam sitting on my four post bed, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. All the emotions of the night that had built up in my mind suddenly burst forth and tears began to stream down my cheeks.

“Aww, baby,” Cam immediately got up and wrapped me in his arms. He shut the door behind us and coaxed me over to the bed in the corner. I bawled into his shoulder in fear, anticipation, and embarrassment. His hands moved slowly up and down my back before coming to a rest one on the back of my head the other across my shoulder blades. “Shhhhhh,” he sighed. “You’re fine. You’re just fine.”

He said that, but I knew he thought differently. I could hear the shaking tones in his voice. They told me that he was scared too. Who knew what would come from this? How would we turn out? How would I turn out? How would this night turn out?

“I’m disgusted at myself, Cam,” I cried harder.

“Shhhhhh, I know,” he stroked the back of my neck. He had seen. I know he’d seen everything.

“I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to sleep with him. Everything else, I want. I want the stage. I want the publicity. I want the attention, but every time I get those things, all I can do is think of you. I’m going to screw this up and Harold will kick me out.”

“Hey!” He pulled me off him and put a hand on each of my cheeks. “Harold will do nothing of the sort. Do you know why?” He was doing his best to be supportive. “Because you’re going to do exactly what that man wants you to. And you know what? I’m not even going to think about being jealous of whatever sick bastard is down there in the elephant, ok? And it’s all because I know you love me. You love me!” He smiled, peering directly into my eyes. “And no matter what happens tonight, I’m going to find you after he leaves and take you in my arms and not let go. Even if you don’t want me to,” he started to laugh playfully, “I’m going to, God damn it, because I love you.” He kissed my forehead. “Shantay,” Cam looked deep into my eyes, “I love you.” He wiped away a struggling tear from my cheek with his thumb. I let out a quick sob, burying my head in his shoulder once more. “I love you,” he spoke his words a third time just so I could hear them rumble from his chest. He knows I find that comforting.

“Ok,” I breathed, wiping the tears from my eyes.

“Ok?” He asked me, sweeping off the tears I couldn’t catch.

“Ok,” I said again with more confidence. He pulled me into a quick little kiss, and then looked into my eyes one last time before letting me go. I shakily stood up and corrected any little flaws in my make-up before opening the door. I looked back at the boy I loved, sitting peacefully on my bed. Cam grinned supportively. This must be hard for him. I blew him a kiss from the door and wound back through the hallways to the front doors.

The elephant stood, large and daunting. Such anxiety it brought. I took a deep breath and deliberately avoided looking up at my window. I knew he was watching me, but I wouldn’t look for fear of breaking down again. With strong steps, I put on my Angevin face and walked up to the steps of the elephant. When I reached the dreaded room, I found the man sitting in an armchair, sipping from a glass of champagne.

“Would you like a drink?” He smoothly offered. I merely smiled my sex kitten smile. The customer stood and brought a freshly poured glass to my lips. I drank deeply, hoping the bubbly would wash away my apprehension. I was wrong.

“Tell me what you desire and it shall be done,” I spoke sultrily to his face. He smirked and set down his wine glass.

“I’m a man of normally refined tastes,” he slowly began, reaching for my glass as well. He set it on the table beside his. “But on the rare occasion when I’m allowed to express my sexual desires, I require very specific circumstances.” He spoke against my lips. Every word brushed his mouth against mine.

“Tell me,” I murmured.

“You can’t be told,” he toyed. “You just simply have to be.” The man’s hands began to move to the buttons on his shirt. He slowly began to undress. I did the same. “No,” he stopped me. “Angevin, you are a virgin, are you not?”

I nodded. Truth be told, I had never been fully penetrated. Harold said it was better for business.

“Good, that’s what I paid for,” he sneered an eerily dark smile, “I just have two rules. One, you call me master. Two, don’t struggle.”

As I’m standing confused, still processing his last comment, the man’s hand flies through the air and strikes my cheek so hard I fell to the ground. Sprawled out on the ground, the solidity of the customer’s statement suddenly took foot in my brain.

“Oh my God,” I breathed. My Angevin face began to crack.

“Don’t speak, whore!” He yelled, pushing my torso to the ground with his foot. The man cast off his shirt and flung it across the room. He bent down and flipped me onto my stomach, savagely ripping open my corset. I merely let out a yelp and lay half naked on the floor of the elephant’s love room. He gripped one of my shoulders turned me over again, exposing my bare chest to him. The man’s eyes glimmered lustfully and grabbed my hair, pulling my mouth up to his groin. He unzipped his pants, freeing his erection.

“Suck, God damn it, or I swear I’ll make your life hell,” he threatened. I took him in my mouth and began to pleasure him how best I remembered, but it wasn’t good enough. “No!” He bellowed, wrenching my head back, giving a great slap across my face. “All of it, bitch.”

I had been given this lesson many times before, but in the heat of the moment, I had forgotten every single one of them. I gagged down his cock and began to move my tongue again from base to head. He could tell I’d forgotten my schooling. The man wrenched my head back once more and threw me to the ground. Tears flowed more freely, but I kept quiet. He grabbed my wrists and pulled me across the floor to the beautifully decorated bed at the other end.

“No, please don’t –” I stopped before I could break any more of rule number two. It was too late, he had noticed. “I’m sorry, master,” I pleaded upon seeing the anger in his eyes, “I’m so sorry. Master, please, don’t hurt me more.”

He ignored my pleas and ripped off the skirt that covered my legs. I was on the ground completely naked, crying at the mercy of this sadistic man who asked me to call him “master”. The man threw me down on the bed and dived on top of me. He held my wrists above my head and kissed down to my breasts, licking, suckling, and biting. He drew blood, but I didn’t scream.

“Good girl,” He mocked. I closed my eyes, knowing what was coming next. My body rocked back and forth, up and down, unable to respond in any way that I was taught. I laid there as he beat around my naked form, slapping me when something was wrong, abusing me sexually when something was right. The pain was too much to bear.

I passed out.

I awoke in a bed that was not mine. I was not inside the elephant. There was a small moment of panic as I tried to remember how I had gotten wherever I was now. A sudden conscious thought washed over my mind as I felt an arm that was wrapped around my waist. Then the smell hit me.

“Cam,” I thought aloud. The body behind me stirred a little at my comment, confirming my suspicions. One of his dress shirts covered my naked and bruised body. I suddenly became very ashamed of the happenings last night. It scared to me to think of how long I’d been like that. It scared me even more to think of how much he ravaged me while I was unconscious. Campbell must have found me in the elephant and brought me back to his room. He lived behind the kitchen, so the floor was always warm and smelled vaguely of wine and baked bread

I turned over, now lying face to face with the peacefully sleeping boy beside me. Cam’s eyes opened softly. His doughy gaze brought up all my tears in one fell swoop. The best thing I felt like doing was burying my face in his shoulder. He wrapped another arm around my small figure, pulling me closer. Cam put his lips to the top of my head and kissed it softly. He breathed in and out, rumbling against my ear.

“It’s ok,” he comforted. “It’s over. You’re done.”

But it wasn’t really. Things were nowhere near ok, and even farther from being done. This was my life now. This was who I had to become. Cam was a complication. He interfered with my job. The only question now is whether to choose Campbell or my career as a cancan dancer.

What did it matter? All that is important is my boyfriend has rescued me when I’m hurting. And that’s all I cared about. I nestled further into Cam’s shoulder and cried myself to sleep in his arms.