Sacrifice

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek and I do not make any money from these writing.

Title: Sacrifice

Author: Raythe

Fandom: Star Trek (2009) – Abrams Universe

Pairing: Kirk/Spock

Warnings: Slash, Romance, AU, WIP

Summary/Tips/Hints: I’m adding a few things to Vulcan culture in this piece, which you may notice, such as Spock’s discomfort with others seeing Jim in only his swim trunks. It seems to fit with the intense private nature of Vulcans and adds a little possessive spice to the story.

POV: This chapter will also be in Bones’ POV, because I enjoy his “voice” but also I like to show Spock and Kirk through another’s eyes without filtering them through each others’ eyes at this point in the story. But I want to assure those who are not fond of a third party “watching” our main characters that the POV will switch between Spock and Kirk later so we get into their heads and hearts.

A big thank you for all the reviews and interest that this piece has generated. I’m overwhelmed and awed and incredibly honored. Please continue to let me know your thoughts as they inspire me to write better … and faster!

Raythe

CHAPTER TWO: CONTROL’S BRITTLE EDGE

Bones and Spock followed Jim over to an outside shower located at the edge of the beach and just before the beginning of the parking lot, so that the younger man could wash off the sand and salt from his skin before they got into the car to go back to Star Fleet Academy in San Francisco. They were staying at the Academy while the U.S.S. Enterprise was being repaired after their run-in with the grief-crazed Romulan, Nero. The Academy was also where the negotiations were being held to obtain a new Vulcan home world from Cerberus Corporation, so lodging there had the added bonus of enabling Spock to monitor the negotiations more closely.

Jim stepped into the half-enclosed shower space, settling himself between the shower’s two spigots, one by his feet and the other over his head. Bones smirked when the Vulcan fastidiously stood a few feet away so as not to get wet when Jim turned the shower on. The doctor was tempted to splash him with water to see if he puffed up like an angry cat. But knowing Spock, the Vulcan would either manage to twist out of the way of the spray or just raise an eyebrow at him. Both would diminish the prank.

“Need a little help here,” Jim said with a laugh as he unsuccessfully tried to unzip his wetsuit’s back zipper. The long neoprene tail that normally would have allowed the Captain to unzip himself had broken off. Even as Jim twisted and turned his torso to try and reach the snip of residual fabric, the zipper remained firmly out of his grasp.

With an humph of pretend irritation, Bones made a move to aid his Captain, but Spock was there before him. Bones hadn’t even seen the other man move, but there he was at Jim’s back. Bones watched with interest as Jim realized that it was Spock helping him and not the doctor. Perhaps it was the warmer-than-human fingers against the nape of Jim’s neck or the spicy scent of the Vulcan’s cologne that had first alerted the Captain to who was unzipping him. Whatever it was, the way that Jim went still and then subtly straightened showed his surprise. Spock rarely touched anyone, let alone the Captain. It was always up to Jim to initiate any contact between them, but this time Spock had seemingly leapt at the chance to do so.

For a moment, Bones wondered if Spock was falling for the legendary Kirk charm, but he shook that thought away. Spock was involved with the lovely Uhura. Besides, even if Spock was unattached, Jim was almost the opposite of what a Vulcan would want in a mate anyways. Jim was all emotion and instinct while the Vulcan held stone cold logic up as a sacred ideal. No, Spock could have no interest in Jim that way. Perhaps the Vulcan was just making an effort to be friendly.

“Doctor, please shield the Captain from view with a towel,” Spock ordered crisply, his hand on the wetsuit’s zipper, but making no move to unzip the other man.

“Its okay, Spock, I’m not naked underneath the wetsuit. I’ve got bathing trunks on,” Jim said, over his shoulder.

“It would not be … appropriate … for people to view you half-unclothed, Jim,” Spock answered softly.

Jim’s brow furrowed and he opened his mouth to respond, but then shut it as if thinking better of whatever he was going to say.

Spock’s gaze did not move from Bones; his eyes demanded that the doctor get a towel no matter what the Captain said and that he was prepared to stand there motionless as long as it took until his request was complied with.

“I’m just wearing swim trunks and you aren’t concerned about anyone viewing me half-unclothed, Spock,” Bones grumped, even as he bent down to grab one of the sandy towels out of their bags.

“You are not my concern, Doctor,” Spock said.

“Oh, really? And why is that? No, don’t answer, let me guess. Hmmm, could it be because I’m merely the lowly Chief Medical Officer and he’s the Captain? Well, I hate to break it to you, Spock, but nobody here knows who Jim is, let alone his rank, so your concern is unnecessary. And if you haven’t noticed, everyone here but you is half-unclothed. That’s normal on a beach,” Bones observed archly.

“While some of what you say is true, Doctor, there are several important distinctions between Jim and everyone else, including your esteemed self,” Spock answered.

Bones saw the flash of surprise and interest on Jim’s profile, but the younger man remained uncharacteristically quiet as Spock and Bones discussed him as if he were not there.

“And what are those important distinctions?” Bones asked as he held the towel at his side, not bringing it up to shield Jim from view just yet. He wanted the Vulcan to answer him.

“Regardless of whether people know the Captain’s rank, he is the Captain, and, as such, deserves a certain level of respect and privacy,” Spock explained.

“Respect and privacy? Oh, you mean Jim should be shielded from the leering that typically happens when he takes his shirt off,” Bones responded with a quirked smile. “You do realize the Captain likes the leering. He doesn’t keep up that physique for nothing.” Bones thought, but did not add out loud, ‘So you do notice Jim’s beauty or at least you notice other people seeing it. Interesting.’

“It would hardly be for nothing, Doctor, even without the … leering … as you call it. The Captain’s physical attributes allow him to perform his job at a higher proficiency than he would otherwise be able to do,” Spock said.

“C’mon, Jim, tell the poor misguided Vulcan the real reason you spend hours in the gym every day and it’s not because of your job, but because of the leering at you or more like the acceptance of your leering at someone else,” Bones said.

“Don’t bring me into this argument, Bones,” Jim said, laughing.

“But it’s about you!” Bones protested. “He’s worried about your dignity when we all know you don’t have any.”

“Ouch!” Jim said, though he was still laughing and smiling so Bones knew he was not upset at the teasing.

“Well, it’s true. I bunked with you for three years, I know all about you and clothes … or the lack thereof. Even Spock’s girlfriend has seen you naked,” Bones said.

“Not naked,” Jim said, throwing a ‘shut up’ look over his shoulder at the doctor. “Seriously, Spock, I’ve never been naked with Uhura.”

“No, just with her roommate … while Uhura was in the room,” Bones quipped. “You were hiding under the bed, I believe.”

“I was not naked!” Jim said.

“Definitely without your shirt,” Bones replied.

“I was told she was going to be somewhere else all evening and she came home unexpectedly. Seriously, Spock, it was not intentional,” Jim quickly explained, all the while sending murderous looks at Bones, which just made the doctor chuckle.

“I am certain that you did not intend to be … unclothed in front of Nyota,” Spock said, evenly, but Bones noticed that he held the zipper more tightly.

“Now that we’ve established that Jim has no dignity and has probably been naked with most of the people on this planet, what other reasons are there for me to hold this towel up?” Bones asked. When Spock merely looked at him coolly and didn’t say anything more, the doctor added, “You said ‘distinctions’ with an ‘s’ meaning there’s more than one. What are the others?”

“That one alone should be enough to satisfy you. Whatever the past has been, the future may be different; therefore, we should endeavor to protect the Captain,” Spock said smoothly and tipped his head towards the towel in Bones’ hand.

“Protect him even from himself?” Bones said with a smirk at Jim. “Hmmm, that almost sounds logical yet I don’t think that’s the real reason.” Bones knew he was pushing the issue, but he was always curious about Spock’s limits so he said, “I’m not going to hold the towel up until you give me a real reason—”

“Bones,” Jim interrupted softly, but firmly, “it doesn’t matter. Just hold the towel up so we can get this done.”

“You honestly want me to shield your body from the eyes of strangers with a towel?” Bones asked, not quite able to keep the disbelief out of his voice.

“If Spock doesn’t feel comfortable with having me undress in front of strangers … that’s fine. We can easily accommodate that,” Jim said, his blue eyes boring into Bones, saying without words: Just do it.

‘Oh, Jim, you softie. That Vulcan has you wrapped around his finger,’ Bones thought.

Bones sighed. He was not altogether surprised that Jim was the one to shut his teasing down. Recently, the Captain had been very protective of Spock even though he had been the one in the past to push things with Spock beyond the breaking point. Perhaps nearly being killed on the Bridge after accusing the other man of not loving his mother or caring about his lost people had made Jim more circumspect. Not to mention that Bones knew that for all Jim’s devil-may-care attitude he was actually quite soft-hearted. He probably felt guilty and was trying to make up for his earlier harshness with greater care now. In any case, it made needling the Vulcan in his presence a short-lived experience.

“I still think this is ridiculous. Bending over backwards for Vulcan sensibilities about your nakedness … on Earth no less. He needs to get used to how things are done here and your proclivity to be without apparel,” Bones said as he held up the towel.

Bones heard rather than saw the zipper being pulled down on Jim’s wetsuit and the shushing sound of neoprene being slid off skin. When he finally did look over, he saw that Jim was bending down to remove the suit from his legs, while the Vulcan stood nearby, watching him. Not just watching Jim as a whole. To Bones’ shock, Spock’s eyes were riveted on the graceful curve of Jim’s spine and the generous swell of his muscular buttocks.

‘I’ve got to be wrong here. Spock is NOT checking Jim out. He’s just … what? Fascinated with Jim’s anatomy? Specifically his backside? Good god, man, even you don’t believe that!’ Bones argued with himself.

At that moment, Jim turned around and gave Spock what could almost be a shy smile of thanks, which was a far cry from the normal impish grins the younger man sent out, as he stepped out of the wetsuit. Spock’s expression was smooth and blank once more as if he had not been admiring the other man’s body just moments before. He nodded stiffly to acknowledge the Captain’s appreciation, but there was no answering smile on his lips or in his eyes.

“Better stand back. I don’t want you to get wet,” Jim said as he reached for the shower’s handle.

Spock took a few graceful steps back to avoid the spray. Did the man do anything less than gracefully? Spock then reached forward quickly and tugged the wetsuit out of Jim’s way, folding and tucking it into a duffel bag. Bones gave out a huff of amused annoyance as he then lifted another towel to cover Jim from any prying stranger’s eyes coming from the parking lot.

The spray ran down Jim’s tanned, golden torso, pebbling his nipples and sliding beneath his black swim trunks. Bones darted a look over at the Vulcan. Spock was following the trails of water slipping down Jim’s body with darkened eyes.

‘Oh, my god, the Vulcan looks like he wishes he was the water! Does Jim even notice this?’

But Jim’s eyes were closed, his head tipped back, allowing the lukewarm spray to run down his face. Spock’s eyes had now fixed on the long column of Jim’s throat. He appeared almost mesmerized by the path the water took and seemed to sway forward the tiniest bit.

Bones realized with a start that this was the first time that Spock had seen Jim like this: bare-chested, slippery wet, and with sensuality pouring off of him in waves. No longer the Captain in his Star Fleet regulated outfit, but a beautiful, sexual being within reach. The realization of this side of Jim seemed to have upset some of Spock’s rigid self-control. That was the only explanation for his readable reactions.

Of course, it would be at that moment that someone approached. As in all things, timing, bad timing, is everything. Spock immediately tensed, his shoulder blades drawing tightly together, his head whipping around to see who was coming up from the beach. Bones felt a tingle of unease run through him. There was something dark and possessive in the Vulcan’s eyes that made Bones really see the alien in him. He wished he knew more about why the Vulcans kept such strict control of themselves, because Bones had a terrible feeling he was just about to find out what happened when that control snapped.

The doctor twisted his head to the side to see who was approaching. It was a surfer that Jim had chatted with briefly before paddling out to catch his first wave. The man had the sun-bleached hair and darkly tanned features of a person who spent the majority of his life outside under the sun and in the surf. He was heavily muscled and stood as tall as Spock with broad shoulders and a narrow waist.

‘A handsome, athletic forty-year-old. Completely Jim’s type.’

Bones knew that while Jim favored women his own age to date, he was more often drawn to older men for more intense relationships.

‘Probably the loss of his father has something to do with that. And the bastard stepfather he had,’ Bones thought, but he was quickly distracted from Jim’s sexual preferences by Spock again.

There was a hiss of breath from the Vulcan, which was the equivalent of a muttered curse by anyone else. Bones realized uneasily that Spock had been tense before when Jim and the man had been talking on the beach and he hadn’t relaxed until the man was gone. And that was before Spock had realized Jim was a real live man so to speak. Bones felt a sick feeling settle into his stomach while adrenaline started to pump. Even as his mind was protesting that Vulcans weren’t possessive like this and certainly this particular Vulcan shouldn’t be possessive like this, because Jim was involved and not Uhura, his body knew a storm was coming.

The surfer stuck his board in the sand beside them and gave Bones a quizzical smile. Bones felt his cheeks heat with embarrassment and he gave the man a tight smile in return. He knew he looked ridiculous holding a towel up. The sick feeling of apprehension wasn’t helping his equanimity either. He wondered if he should warn the other man away.

“Got yourself a lady in there?” the man asked.

“Ah, no, not really. We’re just ah … well, protecting our … ah Captain’s dignity,” Bones choked out as his eyes skittered from the surfer to the Vulcan.

Spock’s expression seemed to become more stone-like and forbidding as the surfer’s smile grew broader at Bones’ explanation. Jim suddenly poked his head out between the towel Bones was holding up and the shower’s side wall to see who it was.

“Oh, hey, Ryan, they were just giving me some privacy to change,” Jim said lightly. “You need to use the shower?”

“Yeah, the salt is really drying me out,” Ryan answered.

Bones began to lower the towel, but one black look from Spock had his arms shooting back up. Jim began to back out of the shower stall to allow the other man space to rinse off. But Spock wrapped a towel around Jim and forced the other man to stay in the shower’s interior.

“Spock!” Jim squawked. “This towel’s got sand on it! Which is now on me, thank you very much.”

“You may shower again after he leaves,” Spock said to the Captain, then addressed Ryan directly, “There is another shower exactly twenty-one feet east of here. I suggest that you use those facilities.” Spock’s voice took on a clipped edge, his nostrils were flared. Everything about his body language and words screamed that Ryan had best move on and move on quickly.

“Ah, c’mon, we’re all men here. No need to be shy. We could shower together, Jim. What do you say?” Ryan asked, and the lilt of flirtation in his voice wasn’t missed by anyone present.

Jim gave a half-laugh and ran a hand self-consciously through his hair. Bones groaned even as his stomach contracted at the edge of danger this man was unconsciously skirting. Bones tried to signal with his eyes for Jim to send this man on his way, but Jim just gave him a questioning look back.

‘Damn, he doesn’t know what the Vulcan’s been doing, how he’s been reacting! This is bad,’ Bones thought.

Spock did curse this time in Vulcan, and his posture became even straighter as he stepped in front of Jim to block Ryan’s view. “Perhaps I must say this more plainly to be understood: you are not welcome here. Go elsewhere.”
Jim gave out a gasp as he finally noticed Spock’s aggression. Bones just closed his eyes and shook his head. He hoped that Ryan knew how much stronger Vulcans were than humans even on a human’s best day. Otherwise things was going to get ugly.

Ryan’s eyes narrowed and he cocked his head to the side as he scrutinized Spock and Jim together. “Ah, I see. I’m sorry, I misread your situation. I thought you were unattached.”

“Unattached? What? I am!” Jim sputtered.

“Regardless of the Captain’s state of attachment, you did misread the situation,” Spock stated.

Jim’s mouth snapped shut. Bones could not read his Captain’s expression. Was it shocked amazement, annoyance, anger? Jim looked as blank as his First Officer did when he was at his most Vulcan inscrutable.

“I think I do understand now. I’ll see you later, Jim,” Ryan said as he picked up his surfboard and walked past.

No one moved for a long moment after he was gone. Finally, Spock turned to face Jim, though he would not actually look at the other man’s face. He began tugging the sandy towel from Jim’s shoulders.

“What was that about, Spock?” Jim asked quietly, as he fended off Spock’s attempts to take the towel. There was no anger in Jim’s voice, just a hint of concern and frustration.

Spock just as softly answered, “I don’t know what you are speaking of—”

“Don’t!” Jim interrupted fiercely then he moderated his tone, “Don’t even pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. If your memory is really that bad, you’ll be heading for Sick Bay post haste. But I know you remember. So why did you react that way with Ryan?” When Spock’s eyes remained downcast and his lips sealed together in a tight, white line, Jim said, “Don’t make me order you to answer me, Spock.”

Spock’s jaw worked convulsively before he finally seemed able to speak. He spit the words out more than spoke them. “He was disrespectful to you.”

“Because he flirted with me and had a bad pickup line?” Jim asked. “If that’s disrespectful, this whole planet’s population is in trouble, because we all do that.”

Spock’s eyes were fixed on the ground like it had all the answers. “He had no right to speak to you in such an informal manner. Insinuate that you should be with him sexually. You gave him no encouragement. But he did these things in any event.”

Jim let out a sigh. He put a finger under Spock’s chin, forcing the other man to look him in the eye.

Jim spoke slowly and softly as if talking to a skittish animal, “I know that you are not as experienced in real world human social behavior as … as the rest of us. I know you were trying to help. So I want you to know that I’m not angry. But … Spock, what you did was not okay.”

Spock swallowed then said, “I … I can see that, Captain.”

“Although you don’t know why?” Jim guessed.

“I have … read … of proper Earth courting behavior, but it was … different … to experience it firsthand,” Spock answered. “I … I behaved in a Vulcan way when I should have understood that … that different standards were to be applied.”

Bones winced, because what Spock wasn’t saying was why he had reacted in a Vulcan way to Ryan’s come on: possessiveness and jealousy. As unbelievable as Bones would have thought that to be before this day, he was certain that those emotions were exactly what Spock had felt for Jim and caused him to begin a pissing contest with Ryan. What surprised Bones was that as intuitive as Jim was about Spock, the younger man clearly did not understand that more was going on here other than just poor inter-species communications.

‘Does he think Spock would react this way if anyone else were hit on? He’s been dating Uhura for some time. Does he really believe that Spock doesn’t know human flirting when he sees it and what is and is not appropriate? Of course, he does. He was jealous! C’mon, Jim, think about it!’ Bones thought, but did not say out loud. He would have to speak to the Captain privately about this later.

The Vulcan’s hands were suddenly behind his back, his spine ramrod straight, as he said, “I overreacted and sincerely apologize for my behavior. Whatever punishment you deem appropriate I will submit to.”

Jim shook his head with a weary smile on his face. “No punishment, Spock. This is a conversation between friends. And like I said, I’m not mad and I do understand that …things are different here than you’re altogether used to. Just know that in the future, I can fight my own battles against the poor pick-up line, okay?”

There was a slight quiver in the Vulcan’s frame as he asked, “Would … would you wish me to apologize to … Ryan and inform him that I was out of line?”

Jim gave one of his brilliant smiles. “Nah, don’t worry about it. I have no interest in … showering … or doing anything else with Ryan.”


There was a slight loosening in the Vulcan’s entire frame.

‘Relief that Jim doesn’t want him. And Jim doesn’t even notice it. Maybe I should check the man’s eyesight,’ Bones thought.

Jim lightly patted the Vulcan on the shoulder before slipping the towel off and stepping under the shower again. The Captain was acting as if everything was forgiven and forgotten. But Bones could see Spock was still struggling with what had happened. The Vulcan picked up the discarded towel and still used it to hide Jim from view. Bones’ arms were aching, because he still hadn’t put his down.

Finally, Jim was clean. He slipped on his flip flops and then threw on a ragged white t-shirt. Ironically, the shirt might as well not have been there considering the amount of cover it actually gave. The cotton was thin and holey from being worn and washed too many times and Jim’s golden skin glowed through the fabric. If the Ryan incident had not occurred, Spock probably would have requested Jim wrap himself in one of the towels for modesty’s sake. The doctor was certain that Jim’s accommodation of the Vulcan’s delicate sensibilities would not have extended to a damp, sandy towel against his skin all the way back to the Academy. But Bones’ amusement died again when he saw that Spock looked pale and his mouth was thinned into a white line of self-disgust. Bones knew he had to talk to the Captain as soon as possible about this.

“Everybody ready to go?” Jim asked as he picked up one of the duffle bags.

“We were just waiting for you, Cinderella. Your coach awaits,” Bones quipped, trying to lighten the mood.

Spock checked his chronometer and frowned. “We have less time than I realized. We must hurry back so that we can get ready for the dinner with Cerberus Corporation’s Chief Executive Officer this evening.”

“Lord Damascus Raines?” Bones asked.

The Vulcan nodded. “Yes, he will be the one to make the final decision regarding my people’s purchase of the rim world, Neos, for their new home.”

“Sounds like a grand time,” Bones responded with a mew of distaste. He hated these formal dinners.

“I, ah, won’t be there tonight,” Jim said suddenly.

Vulcan quickly turned to him as did Bones.

“Why, Jim? You’re the hero of the hour. You and Spock. I’m sure your presence will aid in the PR value for Cerberus to sell the planet to the Vulcans. May even bring the price down,” Bones said.

“The Doctor is correct, Jim,” Spock said decisively then added with more tentativeness, “Your presence would be invaluable. If your decision not to attend has anything to do with my behavior today—”

“No, no. It’s got nothing to do with today,” Jim answered quickly with a warm smile at the Vulcan. “Really, Spock, forgiven and forgotten. Don’t worry about that a second longer.”

“Then why, Captain? Please, the purchase of this world is … crucial … to my people,” Spock said, slight lines of tension appearing around his eyes.

“Not to mention Star Fleet will have your head for not being there,” Bones piped in.

Jim put his arm on Spock’s shoulder again, squeezing it slightly. His expression and voice earnest as he said, “I assure you that I would be there if I thought my presence could help in any way or even if it was a neutral factor. But actually … it could hurt. A lot.” Jim’s warm smile for Spock seemed to twist into itself as the Captain continued. “Lord Raines and I … we’ve had a run-in before. And it didn’t end well.”

“He doesn’t like you, I take it?” Bones guessed.

Jim responded with a bitter laugh that sent a shiver done Bones’ spine. “If only that were the problem. Or at least had been the problem.”

“Captain … what happened between you and Lord Raines?” Spock asked.

Jim stood there for a long moment, emotions flickering across his face so fast that Bones could only catch the last, which was despair. A bone deep despair.

“He wanted … all of me,” Jim said, simply.

“And?” Bones asked, even though he already guessed the answer.

Again that sickly smile twisted its way across Jim’s face as he said, “And I said no.”