Without

PART 2

Without


When Dave awoke, the sun was low in the sky, bathing the room in a dim golden light. Nelson had curled up to him, an arm around his waist, fingers stroking Dave's side gently, slowly. He let himself stretch, sinking down a little lower in the bed, and closed his textbook, setting it aside, letting his other hand rest lightly on Nelson's bare back.

Nelson sat up a little, enough to look at him, nestled against his side, Dave's arm still around him. His blue eyes were serious, and maybe a little worried. "Sorry I slept so late...."

Dave shook his head, trying not to think about how close he was, how warm his hand was on his waist. "It's okay. You needed it. How are you feeling?"

Nelson was quiet for a moment, fingers smoothing slowly, up and down on Dave's stomach, which made him shiver despite himself. "I... I didn't want to die, Dave..."

"I know," He replied softly, and closed his eyes, letting his face rest lightly against Nelson's hair without thinking about it. And Nelson's hand moved to rest, light and trembling on his shoulder, tilting his face up to him finding Dave's lips with his own.

A small part of Dave wondered how he managed to get himself into this situation again, but the rest of him was already reacting, arm tightening around Nelson, pulling him closer, drawing him up to kiss him more deeply, free hand tangling in his hair with a soft moan. His body remembered well what the previous night had felt like and responded, wanting more, craving it. And the uncertainty from the day, the fear from last night resurfaced as need, a desperate need for him, to touch every part of him, to never let go of him. Somehow they kicked the comforter out of the way, and he pressed Nelson back into the pillows, laying half over his almost nude form, tearing desperate, gasping kisses from his mouth. "Oh god, how are we doing this...." But he couldn't stop, couldn't keep his hands from his skin, couldn't keep from kissing him, tasting faintly his cigarettes, warm and deep and desperate.

Nelson didn't react to his words other than to pull him closer. He was shivering a little under him, fingers making short work of the buttons on his shirt, stroking around his waist, pulling him down to meet him. His legs half tangled with Dave's, arching up against him despite the rough fabric of his jeans, and the rush of sensation made Dave groan, grind back against him, feeling almost painfully constrained by his pants. He moved to cover Nelson's neck with kisses, feeling his pulse flutter under his skin, sucking and nipping hungrily until the skin was faintly pink. Nelson was gasping, all but whimpering his name, hips grinding up against him almost desperately, hands clenched in his hair, in his shirt, almost painfully tight. When David came up for breath he flipped him, kneeling over him, weight balanced on one forearm. He caught Dave's mouth demandingly as his hands dropped to his belt, tugging at zippers and buckles, fingers the most agonizingly delicious tease on his constrained erection. Dave freed a hand to help him, kicking his pants and boxers off, rocking up into his touch as Nelson's fingers slipped to circle his erection.

Nelson's boxers were easy to push away. And then somehow Nelson was between his thighs, hips pressed firmly into his, grinding against him, letting the length of Dave's erection rub against his stomach, against the hardness of Nelson's cock. Dave's hips were grinding back against him before he could stop himself, against the heat of Nelson's sweat streaked body, his feet scrambling to find purchase on the mattress to angle for more sensation, rocking hard, almost thrusting against his body.

Nelson pressed in closer, pressing breathless, gasping kisses to his lips as his hips fell into rhythm with Dave's, his weight balanced on one forearm beside Dave's head. There was something so primal and desperate and frantic about it, bucking up to find more sensation, feeling Nelson's cock against his as their bodies frantically sought pleasure, and he couldn't help but cry out with each breath at the red hot shocks of pleasure that Nelson drove through his body, eyes closed, sharing his breath. "Need you so bad," he found himself gasping, and Nelson caught his mouth again with a low, throaty moan, body tense and shuddering over him. Then he dropped his head to the pillows, lips nestled against Dave's neck, breath and hot on his skin.

"You have me, David," he whispered, sounding very much like the words were being pulled from his mouth against his will, and Dave tightened his arms around his shoulders, holding him tightly to him, heart beating so fast that he thought it might burst. It was too much, too exquisite, the sensation and emotion, building relentlessly, unstoppably, until he was pulled helplessly over the edge, lost in the warmth and pleasure and intensity of Nelson, crying out against his honey blond hair as he came, ejaculate hot and slick between them.

"David - !" A gasping, helpless cry, sounding almost like a sob, and he felt his friend come to climax against him, tense and shuddering, fingers clenching at his hip, the hand he was resting on clenching tightly at his shoulder, almost painfully. Dave closed his eyes, not releasing his hold on Nelson's shoulders, gasping for breath as his body slowly came down from its high, heart pounding, nerves hyper sensitive in the aftermath of orgasm. He pressed his lips to Nelson's hair, letting out a shuddering sigh, mind already racing, trying to think of what he was going to say, what on earth he could do about all of this. Wondering how on earth he managed to get himself into such a mess....

He felt Nelson swallow hard, and draw a few deep breaths against his skin before drawing back, flushed, not meeting his eyes. "Stay here," he murmured softly, "Let me get something to take care of this."

"Sure..." Dave watched him disappear into the washroom, then let his head fall back to the pillows with a soft groan. One night - one night of just touching was ignorable. Not so much two. Not so much -that-, which was much closer to sex than he'd ever thought he'd get to with a man. He heard the sound of water running, and his friend emerged again a few minutes later, already clean. He perched on the side of the bed with a warm washcloth, silently and thoroughly cleaning off Dave's stomach and chest before tossing it in the hamper, still avoiding eye contact. Then he quietly slipped back into bed next to him, curling up against him and resting his head lightly on his shoulder.

Dave gave a soft sigh, tugging the comforter over them and tucking it around Nelson's shoulders, stroking fingers slowly over his hair, feeling Nelson shiver a little against him. His mind was still reeling in the aftermath of what had happened. "... you ok?"

Nelson was silent for a long moment. When he finally spoke, his voice was very low, and a little raw. "Why did you bring me back, Dave?"

Dave closed his eyes, feeling a flutter of fear in his stomach at being reminded of the night before. "Couldn't stand to lose you," he murmured, the words still true despite his uncertainty, fingers clenching for a moment in Nelson's hair.

He felt Nelson's breath in a soft sigh against his skin, a little nod, acknowledging his words. Dave stayed like that for a few moments longer, wanting badly to say something, anything, but the words wouldn't come. Finally he stretched, moving his fingers from Nelson's hair. "You need to eat."

"I'm ok," Nelson replied softly, not moving, but Dave shook his head.

"You eat anything at all today?"

His friend sounded a little guilty. "Coffee..."

He snorted. "You're eating. You're supposed to take care of yourself, doctor." He pulled away, hunting for his jeans and boxers and pulling them on. "Stay here and rest if you like. I'll bring food in." Without waiting for a response, he disappeared into the kitchen.

Nelson appeared, fully dressed, just after he'd dumped two cans of chicken soup into a saucepan on the stove to heat. He sat quietly at the table, lighting a cigarette, watching him. Dave grabbed the salad from the fridge, arranging it on a couple of plates and setting it in front of him with the dressing. "It'll be a little bit before the soup is hot," he said, handing him utensils. "Sorry."

"It's ok," Nelson remarked softly, picking at the salad, still smoking. When he finished the cigarette, he lit another, not speaking.

Dave ate his salad at the counter, occasionally stirring the soup, finding himself hungrier than he expected. He found a pair of bowls and ladled it out, turning off the stove and sitting down with Nelson.

"Thanks." Nelson set aside the half finished salad, working on the soup, staring out the window a little blankly, stubbing out his second cigarette with a soft sigh and staring at the pack.

"Can I have one?" Dave found himself asking, and Nelson flicked the pack across the table to him wordlessly, the lighter following. Dave lit two, passing the other back to him, which made Nelson glance up at him in surprise, eyes flicking to his briefly before darting away, full of uncertainty. Fear. Dave took a long drag of the cigarette, reaching across the table to ash it, then blew lightly on a spoonful of soup to cool it.

Nelson did the same, taking another bite. "... this is good. Thank you."

Dave gave a little half smile despite himself. "Thanks, I opened the can myself."

A soft, mirthless laugh, and Nelson set his spoon down. "Dave...."

He took another drag of his cigarette, knowing from his tone of voice that he was going to need it. "Yeah?"

Nelson hesitated, watching him carefully. "You.... Will you please say something about what's going on between us?"

Dave searched his eyes, trying to find the answers, his stomach looping in knots again. "I... I don't know what's going on," he said finally, honestly.

Nelson gave a soft snort, looking away. "... great."

He frowned. "What do you want me to say, Nelson? One minute I feel perfectly sane and the next minute my hand is in your pants." He gave a soft, incredulous laugh. "I can't believe I just said that."

He saw Nelson's mouth tighten, then he seemed to force himself to relax, taking another drag of his cigarette. "Then don't do it again."

He set his spoon down, stubbing out the cigarette. "Don't act like this is all me."

Nelson sat back in his chair, still smoking, half folding his arms across his chest. "I'm not. I'm asking you what you want from me."

Dave looked down, not able to hold his gaze anymore. "I don't... I'm not sure I can answer that."

"Dave...."

He forced himself to look at him again. "I'm sorry."

"You say you don't - didn't want to lose me." Blue eyes raised to look at him, dark and uncertain. "If that's true... just tell me what you want. Give me something, some - definition to this madness. I can't keep doing this, Dave...." When Dave didn't answer him, he sighed, stubbing out the cigarette butt. "Here's an easy out for you then. Sex is the most primal reaction to surviving a disaster or near disaster. Terror sex. That's all it was." He raised his chin slightly, as if challenging him. "You'd be fucking Rachel if you'd gone home with her."

"That's not true."

"You were before."

He looked at him evenly. "I never slept with her."

Nelson snorted. "You expect me to believe that?"

"Believe what you will. But I didn't." He leaned forward to rest his elbows on the table, watching him, voice softer. "What do you want from me, Nelson?"

Nelson sighed. "I..." He stopped, and ran a hand through his hair wearily. "Look. I don't jump into intimacy lightly. With anyone, boy or girl. But what I want doesn't matter if you can't make up your damn mind." He reached for another cigarette and lit it, taking a long drag. "God." He looked up at Dave, who hadn't replied, and shook his head. "Just go home, Dave. I'm fine here. Go back to your girls, and we can meet in three months time when you're back at school and just pretend this never happened."

"I don't want that," Dave replied softly.

Frustration. "Then can you tell me what the hell you do want?"

He hesitated, feeling more than a little vulnerable. "... you?"

A little mirthless half smile. "You sure about that, Davey?"

He glanced down and wet his lips, forcing himself to speak, voice softer than he intended. "I... I want to hear you call me David when you come...."

He looked up after a moment to see Nelson staring, lips slightly parted and cigarette dangling from his fingers, seemingly forgotten. "...well," he said, finally. "That's... that's a start." He seemed to remember his cigarette, and took a long drag, letting it out in a slightly incredulous sigh. "Have you even been with a guy before?"

Dave glanced away. "Thought about it. Watched some porn. But never actually did anything. You?"

A little smirk. "Not for a couple of years."

"Really?" Dave found himself relaxing a little, as if the hardest hurdle had been passed. "Didn't pin you as the type."

"That's the point. There's way too many stigmas attached to it... I'm Nelson the doctor, not Nelson the fag."

He nodded slowly. "So... we date and don't tell anyone."

Nelson finished his cigarette, going back to his soup. "Unless it's important to you to be out."

He shook his head slowly. "I... don't like hiding the things that are important to me... but you're probably right. Safer to keep things under wraps for now." He glanced up to see Nelson watching him with a little wondering smile.

"Maybe once we've graduated," the blond said softly, quiet for a long moment. "Dave... you really serious about this?"

Dave reached across the table to rest his hand lightly over his. "I am."

Nelson glanced down at his hand, then back up at him. "You still going to be after I do more than just jack you off?"

Dave swallowed, trying to read him. "That depends... what do you want to do?"

Nelson smirked, a sign of his usual confidence. But this was only bravado, to cover a vulnerability he was desperately - and unsuccessfully - trying to hide from Dave. "Ride you."

Dave felt his heart stop, then resume beating twice as fast, felt his blood rushing down to - "What?"

A quirked eyebrow, a challenge. More bravado. "You man enough, Davey?"

There were a hundred ways his libido wanted to say yes, the foremost of which being to drag Nelson back into the bedroom immediately. Instead he answered Nelson's cheek calmly, keeping his voice even. "Finish eating and you'll find out."

Nelson stared at him for a moment, caught off guard. "You serious?"

Dave fought a smile. "Eat."

"I'm finished." At Dave's look, he took a few more hurried bites. "I'll finish it later? I'm seriously full."

Dave chuckled softly, setting down his spoon. "Okay, okay. Help me clean up." He washed, watching Nelson tuck the leftovers neatly into the fridge. He could feel an electric kind of tension between them, but unlike the uncertainty of before, it made him feel alive, made the fear and uncertainty of the night before wash away.

He set the clean saucepan on the drying rack rack, and turned to find Nelson watching him, a little uncertainly, a little hungrily. "Bed?" He took a step back, but stopped as Dave called him back.

"Nelson..."

A little smile, more veiled vulnerability. "Yeah?"

Dave hesitated, then crossed the space between them, eyes not leaving his. "Want to do this properly this time," he murmured, bringing a hand up to cup Nelson's jaw, tilt his face up just a little, leaning in to kiss him, warm and lingering.

Nelson gave a little shiver, hands slipping around his waist, pressing close and returning his kisses with more than a little longing. For a moment, he let Dave take the lead, parting his lips at the inviting flick of Dave's tongue, giving a soft moan deep in his throat. Then he turned the tables, challenging him for dominance, hands slipping down to cup his ass as he pressed closer, tasting him hungrily. It was more than a little intense, this battle for control and pleasure, Nelson's hips pressed tight against his, one hand moving to stroke hungrily over Dave's bare back and shoulders. "I need you," he murmured softly, and felt Nelson shiver against him, pulling back just a little to look at him, eyes dark, vulnerable.

"You have me, David," he replied, the same words as before, but gentler now, a soft, murmured submission from one who normally displayed nothing that would betray him as being anything but strong and independent. Dave lifted his face gently, covering those well-shaped lips with his own, trying to kiss away the vulnerability, reassure him. Kissing Nelson brought the most incredible rush, desire and adrenaline pumping through his veins, the feeling of being caught in an overwhelmingly strong current, unable to escape. Craving him, the taste of his lips, of his skin, the feel of his warmth and strength against him. He slipped his hand from his face to tangle in Nelson's hair, tugging his head back and kissing along his jaw, kissing his neck, lost in his scent, sweat and cologne and cigarettes and desire. Nelson, who he'd always been able to talk with about anything, whose skill and drive and determination made him remember why he went into medicine in the first place, made him pursue his passion. Who he couldn't imagine a world without.

Nelson, who was clinging to him, breath coming in sharp gasps of pleasure, shivering a little under the onslaught of Dave's mouth, whimpering as Dave sucked and nipped at the crook of his neck, hard enough to mark him, angry pink marks on fair skin. "Need you," he murmured again, lips moving to suck at his earlobe, careful of the healing cut above it, slipping a hand up under his shirt to stroke over his skin, feeling his friend shiver under his touch.

"Always?" Nelson whispered, still vulnerable, the courage to ask seeming to take all of his strength.

Dave moved to find his lips again, warm and possessive, sure that his heartbeat was audible, not realizing until that moment how much he'd craved something so simple as seeing Nelson open himself up, let down the guard and bravado entirely. Not realizing the effect it would have on him, the soft ache in his heart intensifying almost painfully. Need. Love. "Yes," he breathed, letting his forehead rest against Nelson's, fingers stroking through his hair, letting his words come freely, everything that had crested in the church the night before when he'd had to face the prospect of losing him. "Only you, always you. Can't live without you."

Nelson let out a soft, shivering sigh, arms tightening around him slightly, face buried in Dave's hair for a long moment. He stroked his hands over Nelson's back and shoulders, letting his eyes close against the rush of emotion, taking a few deep breaths to try and come back to himself, to keep from losing himself entirely.

Nelson seemed stronger when he raised his head to look at him, giving him a warm, almost wondering smile. "Come to bed with me," he said softly before pulling away, slipping his hand into Dave's and tugging him along, glancing back at him with a look in his eyes that Dave found himself liking very much. He caught Nelson in his arms again as they reached the side of his bed, leaning in to kiss him hungrily, fingers moving to dance over his chest, nimbly unbuttoning his shirt, smoothing it off his shoulders.

With the uncertainty between them laid to rest, Dave found himself much calmer, able to enjoy the build of desire without what he realized had been fear in the pit of his stomach. It didn't change the intensity, the raw need he felt, but he felt more confident, able to take his time working his clothes undone, fingers slowly exploring the skin they exposed. Apart from the smoking, Nelson was a bit of a health freak, his body kept strong and toned with daily workouts. Dave hadn't ever really seen the appeal of the gym, though growing up as a military brat kept him wiry enough, but he found it surprisingly appealing to watch the way Nelson's body moved, to feel his muscles surge and tense under his hands. Once he'd gotten Nelson's clothes out of the way, he let himself indulge in exploring his body, mapping his skin with kisses, over his shoulders and down his chest.

He felt Nelson's hands tangle in his hair, arching up a little against his mouth as Dave caught his nipple with his lips, sucking hungrily, teasing the sensitive flesh with his teeth. He pressed closer to him, slipping a hand down to close around the shaft of Nelson's erection, teasing him slowly, moaning softly against his skin as Nelson rocked up into his touch. It was a heady experience, being able to have such an effect on the other man, to make him hard. He ran his thumb up the underside of his erection, rubbing small circles at the head of his cock, slicking the small beads of precum over his skin, smiling as he felt Nelson shudder and tense under him, rocking up into his touch.

He nipped lightly at his chest, flicking his tongue against his nipple. "Tell me what to do...."

Nelson drew a few deep breaths, then pushed him gently away, sitting up against the headboard, and wetting his lips with a tiny pink flash of tongue. "I want you to sit back and watch."

Dave sat up, leaning back a little with a questioning smile. "Watch...?"

The blond leaned over to rummage in a bedside drawer, coming back with a small bottle of lube, giving him a little smirk. Flipping open the cap, he dripped some on his fingertips, leaning back and reaching down to run them up the length of his own erection, stroking himself slowly, watching Dave. Dave let his eyes follow Nelson's fingers, feeling his lips part slightly, and reached out to stroke with them, only to get his hand gently smacked away. "Not your turn yet, lover."

Dave chuckled softly, sitting back without complaint, not moving his eyes from Nelson's fingers. "Going to put on a show for me then?"

"Something like that." Nelson's fingers continued their work, slipping down to cup and massage his sac, giving a soft, appreciative moan as he did so.

Dave wet his lips. "You sure you don't want help?"

Nelson gave a low chuckle, leaning back a little more. "You want to help, handsome? Touch yourself for me."

Dave leaned back on one arm, letting his fingers play over his stomach and thighs, still watching Nelson, curling his fingers around his erection. His lover stopped long enough to pour more lube on his fingertips, then reached down farther, pulling his legs up a little more, massaging fingers down over the small pink pucker of flesh with a low groan.

Dave heard himself draw a soft hiss of breath, felt his fingers tighten around his cock, surprising himself with how husky his voice was when he spoke. "What are you doing....?"

His lover chuckled softly, low and rich, groaning as he pressed a fingertip into himself, working it in slowly. "You like that, Davey?"

Even the normally annoying nickname sounded good right about now, and Dave stroked his fingers slowly up and down his shaft with a soft moan, not being able to look away from what Nelson was doing to himself. "Wish I was doing that...."

"Mmm... just wait, love..." A second finger joined the first, pressing deeper, and he began to fuck himself slowly, breath coming in soft groans of pleasure, hips arching up a little against the touch. His free hand abandoned the lube and started to tease the head of his cock. Dave watched him fold a third finger with the first two, starting to work them in slowly, carefully, breath coming faster, catching a little. "Fuck, Dave... see what you do to me?"

Dave leaned a little closer, still watching, stroking himself a little more firmly, feeling his breath come in soft pants. "You are so damn hot...."

Nelson moved suddenly, and before he had a chance to react, the blond's hands had stopped their work, and his friend had leaned forward to catch his mouth hungrily, pushing him down onto his back. Dave returned the kisses with just as much hunger, tangling his fingers in his hair, gasping against his mouth. "God, I need you so bad...."

Nelson had moved to straddle his hips, and Dave felt him slip a hand between them, fingers stroking his cock, slick with more lube. The blond chuckled softly against his mouth, low and throaty and breathless. "I'm all yours, love." He nipped lightly at Dave's bottom lip, then sat up, fingers curling around the base of Dave's cock and his other hand braced on his chest for support. He knelt up higher, catching Dave's gaze and holding it, eyelids fluttering a little as he started to rock onto him, whimpering softly at the penetration.

Dave drew a sharp breath and used every ounce of self control to keep from bucking up into him, into his heat and tightness, his hands ghosting up his thighs to clench at his hips. "Oh god, Nelson - !"

The blond continued to rock onto him, drawing sharp breaths, slowly pushing him deeper until his ass sat flush with the tops of Dave's thighs, rocking very slightly, very slowly on him, fingers almost kneading at Dave's shoulders. "Mmmmm, Dave, yes...."

He let himself move with him, then - slowly, carefully at first, then harder as his friend began to pick up the pace. So different from a girl, and so much more intense, fingers clenching and unclenching at Nelson's hips, urging him to rock harder. He freed one hand to curl around Nelson's cock, loving the way the added sensation made his lover shudder and moan, loving that it made him move harder on his cock, fast and deep. He knew they wouldn't be able to keep the pace up for long, but he didn't care so much about that, just the soft cries of pleasure Nelson was making, the way he shuddered on him, the way his cock felt, thick and hot in his fingers. Nelson leaned back a little more and almost yelped, and for a split second Dave thought he'd hurt him, but then his lover was bucking harder on him, tightening around him, shuddering helplessly and crying out with each thrust. "God, David - !"

Dave bit his bottom lip, hard, trying to hold back the waves of sensation, trying to keep his body from rushing to the orgasm he so craved, to keep from spending himself inside that tight, shuddering ass. He wanted - needed - to feel his lover come, Nelson's cries of pleasure almost intoxicating, fingers clenching at his shoulders as he moved almost wildly on him, nails digging into his skin with a delicious lick of pain.

He tightened his fingers just a little around Nelson's cock, stroking him a little more quickly, more firmly. He let his eyes feast on the sight in front of him, Nelson's head thrown back and lips parted in pleasure, muscles tense and shuddering under pale skin. "That's it, love... show me how good it is, show me how much you like it - !"

It was almost like Dave's words were an extra rush of stimulation, of pleasure, and he felt Nelson clench and shudder almost impossibly tight around his cock, eyes falling closed and crying his name helplessly, fingers painfully tight on his shoulders as he came, thick and hot in Dave's fingers. It was everything Dave had wanted, and more than he could handle, all the pleasure and bliss tumbling together in a sharp burst of ecstasy, shuddering through every nerve in his body. He reached up to tug Nelson down to him, catching his mouth for breathless, whimpering kisses, tangling his clean hand in his friend's honey blond locks. "Yes... oh god, Nelson, yes...."

Nelson's breath was warm and moist against his skin as he slowly got control of his breathing, finally giving a little appreciative chuckle at Dave's words, pressing his lips to the end of his nose. "Still want this, David?"

He echoed Nelson's soft laugh, every nerve in his body faintly vibrating from pleasure, heart singing from an overload of emotion, of happiness, bliss. Of love. "Hell yes."

Nelson let his weight rest on his forearms, looking down at Dave with a little grin, blue eyes calm and content. "Good. Otherwise I might have to tie you to the bed."

Dave leaned up to press a light kiss to the end of his nose. "Well, I might be persuaded to let you do that anyway."

Nelson sat up, laughing, rich and warm and easy, pulling away finally and leaving just long enough to get the mess cleaned up. Then they curled in bed together, and Dave thought it felt entirely, sinfully decadent, just to lay with Nelson, bare limbs tangled together, warm skin on skin, stroking his back slowly.

"Dave?"

"Mmm?" He looked back down at Nelson, freeing a hand to trail over his face gently, running fingertips along his jaw.

Well-shaped lips turned up into a warm smile. "I'm glad you came home with me last night."

He returned the smile, thinking that he'd do it a hundred, million times over if this is what it brought him. "I'm glad, too."


~~FIN~~~

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