Here in this Life

By the time the night of the dinner rolled around, Dave had to admit that perhaps going wasn't such a bad idea after all. The steel gray jacket was very striking with his best pair of black dress pants and a thin black tie that Nelson expertly tied in a double windsor at his neck. Nelson himself was the spitting image of high society in a well tailored black tuxedo, blonde hair gelled back neatly. The tortoiseshell rimmed glasses he normally wore only for working completed the image. "How do I look?"

"Like a very intelligent, successful and rich young doctor to be," Dave replied. "Where did you get all of this, anyway?"

Nelson gave a little smile and shrugged. "My folks left me well enough off, they were both doctors, and my mother was an anaesthesiologist. They died in a boating accident when I was fourteen, when I was still away at school."

"I'm sorry..." Dave let a hand rest gently on his shoulder, wondering why he hadn't known about this before now.

Nelson shrugged again. "It's okay... it's been almost twelve years, anyway. We grew apart after they sent me to boarding school." Another smile, this time slightly bitter.

He tilted his head slightly. "If you've got money... why don't you drive, Nelson?"

The blonde laughed. "They were a bit difficult. My parents, I mean. I don't have full access to my inheritance until I complete a university degree, just to certain amounts if they're related to my schooling and living expenses. Which unfortunately does not include a car, since the school is within a reasonable walking distance. But new suits for any events are a must. Looking good to uphold the outstanding Wright family name, and all that jazz." He straightened his bow tie in the mirror and glanced over at Dave. "Ready to go, handsome?"

"As long as you're prepared for the possibility of getting in some major trouble, Mister Uphold the Family Name."

Nelson smirked. "I said looking good, I never said anything about behaving myself." He regarded Dave with a little smile. "You know, I always wanted to see you in a suit...."

Dave chuckled, raising an eyebrow. "Is this your hidden reason for wanting me to come tonight?"

"Who said anything about hiding it? Lets go, handsome."

The night had began to get a little chilly, but it wasn't cold, something Dave appreciated since he hadn't managed to get the drivers side window in his army truck replaced since he'd smashed it back at the beginning of November to get to Nelson, and the clear plastic that was currently taped over it didn't do much to keep out the cold. He held open the passenger side door. "Feel like you should be in a limo. Or at least something nicer than this hunk of junk." He shut the door after he got in, circling around to hop in the driver's side and start the car, turning up the heat. He glanced over to find Nelson watching him. "What?"

"Just thinking you might end up a gentleman one day after all," the blonde replied with a little smirk, sitting back and letting him drive.

He managed to find parking in the crowded lot when they arrived, and followed Nelson into the lobby of the hotel that had been booked for the event. There were several tables set up in the foyer with lists of attendees and piles of name tags. He hung back as Nelson approached one, waiting in line and then speaking to the woman behind the table, who looked like one of the administrative assistants at the school. "Wright, Nelson."

The woman checked the list, and wrote on the name tag in neat black letters without looking up. "And your guest, Mr. Wright?"

"Labraccio, David."

The woman paused, then raised her head. "Mr. Labraccio is currently suspended from this school."

Nelson gave her a winning smile. "Mr. Labraccio is my guest. I'm sorry, were there restrictions placed on who we could bring with us?"

She sized him up for a long moment, then stood, speaking before walking off. "Please wait here for a moment."

Nelson watched her go, then swiped both name tags, writing David's name on the extra and handing it to him. "Lets go."

"Nelson!"

A little impish grin. "Don't think they'll cause a scene in the main ballroom. Come on, before she comes back with someone important." He slipped into a crowd of people, leaving Dave no choice to follow.

According to the order of services, they'd arrived near the end of cocktail hour, and the ballroom was filled with various members of the faculty and hospital staff as well as the board of directors and invited employees of the public sector. Nelson snagged a couple of glasses of champagne off a passing tray, handing one back to Dave. "To a successful infiltration."

Dave laughed. "Don't count on it yet, Mastermind." He tapped his glass lightly to Nelson's. "To new roommates."

Nelson's eyes darkened just a little, appreciatively. "I'll drink to that."

Dave took a sip, then almost choked at the voice behind him. "LA-BRA-CCIOOOOO-!" Joe, already looking a little flushed, wrapped an arm around Dave's shoulders, clapping him on the back. "Good to see you made it in!"

Steckle was close behind, and frowned. "Well they won't be here for much longer if you keep yelling that name around." He deftly confiscated the new glass of champagne from Joe's hand. "You're cut off until after dinner."

Joe didn't seem to mind, half hanging from the arm that was around Dave's shoulders. "Things aren't nearly as fun without you around, man. You gotta come back soon."

He chuckled. "I'm working on it. You going to survive the night, Joe?"

The dark haired man laughed. "You didn't see me in my collage days. This is nothing, I'll be right as rain after dinner." He got serious all of a sudden, looking up at him. "Hey - you know we brought your ex with us, right?"

Dave gave a slow nod. "I expected as much... how is she doing?"

"As well as can be expected, I guess... and coming up right behind you."

"Dave." Rachel, stunning in a strapless black evening dress. He turned, gave her a gracious nod and a smile.

"Good evening Rachel. How are you?"

"I'm fine, thank you." Her smile was forced, and it was fairly obvious, but he tried to pretend not to notice. "You clean up nicely," she said. "I didn't know you owned a suit?"

He gave a soft chuckle. "The jacket is Nelson's."

"Why am I not surprised." She moved past them to where Nelson was standing, sipping the champagne slowly, and gave him a smile. "You look good, Nelson."

For a brief moment he didn't seem to know how to react, then returned the smile. "You as well, Doctor Manus," he replied, using the old pet name. "Would you like me to get you a glass of champagne?"

"Just water for me, thanks," She said with a smile. "Someone has to make sure Joe and Steckle get home in one piece."

"Hey, I'm fine to drive," Joe replied with a frown as Nelson disappeared to find water.

Rachel smiled. "Not when I have your keys," she shot back. "Don't worry, Joe. I won't kill your car. You just have fun."

Joe frowned, looking around the room for a moment. "Not sure I know how to have fun anymore without women."

Dave snorted, setting his empty glass on a bus tray as it passed. "Don't act like you've developed some deathly allergy, Hurley. You just have to treat them with some respect, that's all."

A dark shadow crossed his features for a moment, and then he snagged another glass of champagne despite Steckle's groan, turning back on the sunny disposition. "Not sure I quite trust the psycho visions not to come back," he said with a smirk. "How's the schoolyard bully?"

Dave rolled his eyes. "Fine, thank you. I've made my absolution." Twice, he almost said, but bit his tongue, smiling as he saw Nelson return with a tall glass of water for Rachel, and another pair of glasses of Champagne, one of which he handed across to Dave.

Just as he was taking it, he saw his friend's blue eyes glance behind him and widen. "Shit..."

Dave felt the hair on the back of his neck prickle, and turned just as he heard a too familiar rich bass voice.

"Good evening, Gentlemen. Miss Manus."

Nelson gave a winning smile. "Dean Cartwright. This is my guest - "

The Dean gave him an unimpressed look. "I am well aware of who Mr. Labraccio is, Mr. Wright. I should have expected that you two would cause some trouble."

Nelson sipped his champagne. "I'm sorry, Dean. I wasn't aware there were restrictions placed on who we could bring with us."

The Dean raised at thick eyebrow. "You ever heard of a phrase 'too smart for his own good', Nelson?"

Dave could see the corners of Nelson's mouth twitch, trying very hard not to smirk. "I can't say I have, Sir."

The Dean shook his head with a sigh, then turned to Dave, looking him up and down with a little bemused smile. "Tell me, David. Why is it that after years of avoiding this dinner like the plague, the year that we bar you from it is the year you finally decide to show up?"

He smiled, hoping he was more charming than he felt. "I miss our fine school, Dean Cartwright. What else can I say?"

"What else can you say." The Dean gave a soft chuckle. "Well, Mr. Labraccio, I will not have you escorted out of here on the following condition. Next year, I expect you back here in good standing, so I can show you off."

He smiled, for real now. "Of course. Thank you, Dean."

"Don't thank me, young man. I expect to see great things from you when you return." And with that, the man turned and disappeared back into the crowd.

Steckle spoke first. "Jesus, I can't believe that just happened."

Nelson turned to grin at Dave. "See, I told you everything would be fine. And you didn't believe me."

Dave laughed. "I can't believe the amount of cheek you just got away with."

Nelson smirked, clinking his glass with Dave's. "To a successful infiltration."

Steckle laughed and shook his head. "Anyway, now that we don't have to worry about hiding Labraccio, we should probably go do what we're supposed to and schmooze."

Nelson adjusted his glasses. "Well, Doctor Steckle, after you."

As they started to walk, Joe grabbed Dave's arm. "Hey, Dave... can I talk to you for a bit?"

He glanced up to meet Nelson's questioning gaze, and waved him to go on ahead with a little smile. "Sure, Joe. What's up?"

The former playboy looked around them, suddenly looking rather nervous. He nodded his head toward one of the sets of french doors leading out to the balcony that ran the length of the ballroom. It was deserted in the December air. "Out there?"

"Joe, it's kind of cold..."

A note of desperation. "Please."

"Hey - ok, ok. Lets go." He grabbed Joe's sleeve and started working his way through the crowd, draining the glass of champagne and setting it down on a ledge on the way out. With the doors safely shut behind them, he turned to face Joe. "What's going on?"

Joe was silent for a moment, and glanced back toward the party. "Shoulda had another drink," he mumbled, and shook his head. "Dave... the experiments... and that whole... karma atonement thing...."

He gave a little nod. "Yeah?"

"You were the one that figured that out, right? I mean - you found that girl and apologized to her, and the haunting - the hallucinations, I mean - they stopped, right?"

Dave nodded. "Yours stopped too, didn't they?"

Joe looked down for a moment. "Yeah. When Anne left me."

"I'm sorry, Joe."

He gave a soft, mirthless laugh. "No, no... I deserved it, you can't say I didn't. I just...." He sighed. "Do you think that maybe it wasn't a one time thing? That maybe we... we opened the door to something, some.... extra sensory ability or - or some curse that won't ever really leave us?"

Dave watched him carefully. "Are you seeing things again, Joe?"

The other man looked up at him, searching his face. "... are you?"

He paused, then nodded slowly. "I... was. Before... Um," he stopped, still not quite at ease with the idea of talking with Joe about the recent developments in his love life. "Before Nelson and I... hooked up."

Joe nodded. "Yeah. What... I mean, if you don't mind me asking? What were you seeing?"

Dave turned away, looking back into the building. He could just pick out Nelson and the other two in the crowd, and smiled. "Long story short... I was seeing Nelson. He was telling me I had to... save Nelson. When I finally listened to him," He drew a deep breath. "I... found Nelson - the real one - with a piece of rubber tubing and a syringe of potassium." He closed his eyes for a moment, shivering a little at the memory. "He'd been seeing things too, he thought he was going crazy, thought he was supposed to die. Again." He shook his head. "And I mistakenly thought my hallucinations were because I'd stolen Rachel from him. Once we... once we got together, everything stopped, for him too."

Joe was watching him with lips slightly parted. "...holy shit."

He gave a soft chuckle. "Yeah, holy shit. But... I never would have had the balls to ever do anything like this otherwise. So it's because of that now that I have Nelson. And... I wouldn't change that for the world."

Joe gave him a soft smile, tilting his head to one side. "You really love him, don't you."

Dave nodded slowly. "I always have."

"I can see that now." Joe was quiet for a long moment. "Dave... I - I'm seeing Rachel. I mean, visions of Rachel, hallucinations. What does it mean?"

Dave felt his eyebrows raise. "I don't think I can answer that question for you. Does she tell you anything?"

He shook his head slowly. "Mostly she just cries. Sometimes I think she's trying to talk, but... I can't understand. Except she tells me not to leave her alone."

Dave gave a little shrug. "Well, that's a start."

Joe raised an eyebrow. "She'll think I'm stalking her."

He gave a soft laugh. "Within reason, Joe. Just... pay attention and follow your instincts." He took in Joe's dubious look and sighed. "Look. I know these things are happening to us for a reason, and I know it's to help us, not hurt us. I have more faith in that than almost anything else. If I hadn't - if I hadn't listened to them... I would have lost the most important thing in the world to me. So they were helping me. And I think yours can, too."

Joe sighed, looking glum. "Just wish things were more clear. So that I could just go do whatever it is I'm supposed to do, and be done with it."

"I don't think things are quite that easy. If it's not fixing something from the past, I think the visions are preparing us for the future. Something that hasn't happened yet. Anyway." He gave Joe a smile. "Lets get back in and have another drink, hm?"

Joe nodded. "Dave? Don't tell anyone about this, ok? Especially not Steckle... he'd take it the wrong way."

Dave smiled and gave a shrug. "I'm not sure I agree with you there, but I won't tell."

They found the others without too much difficulty, chatting and talking with other classmates. Joe switched back to his old self immediately, joking and talking, though Dave could tell he was being very careful not to flirt with any one specific girl.

Nelson leaned into him when no one was paying attention. "I think your ex is trying to pick me up," He murmured voice low.

Dave tried to keep a straight face. "Oh?"

"Yeah..." the blonde looked a little disturbed. "What do I do?"

He shrugged, smiling despite himself. "Tell her you're not interested? Assuming, of course, that you aren't."

"Of course I'm not." Nelson glowered a little. "But what if I'm overreacting?"

"She'll make it obvious enough if she is..." He stopped, giving Rachel a smile and a nod as she approached.

"What are you two boys so serious about?" She asked with a smile, standing rather closer to Nelson than strictly necessary.

"The lab we had on partial lobotomies," Nelson replied smoothly, sipping his drink.

"The one you and Steckle stole the A plus marks on? I'm jealous." She smiled teasingly. "It was good work, though. You and I should work together sometime."

Nelson smirked. "I'm not sure how Steckle would feel about you trying to steal his A." They fell quiet as the Dean took the podium, thanking everyone for their attendance and encouraging everyone to find seats for dinner. They found Joe and Steckle already seated, and slipped in with them, with Rachel taking the seat between Nelson and Joe, sipping a glass of ice water.

For Nelson, the night felt like it was quickly entering the Twilight Zone. It had started out innocent enough - sneaking Dave into the event had been a bit of a rush - but when Rachel had started flirting with him, he wasn't entirely certain how to handle it. It certainly didn't help that every time he looked to Dave, his lover seemed to find it the most amusing thing in the world. And she just kept talking to him about everything under the sun, regardless of how useless it was. He was sure he would have cracked partway through dinner if it weren't for Dave, who, innocently leaning on one elbow on the table, let his other hand slip under the tablecloth to rest, warm and gentle, on Nelson's thigh. Still, at the earliest possible convenience, after dinner and the speeches were done, he searched for sanity the best way he knew how and disappeared out to the balcony for a well deserved cigarette, which turned into two.

Just as he was finishing his second, as he was starting to feel like his nerves could handle rejoining the group, he spotted a familiar silhouette in a black evening dress approaching the doors to the balcony. After considering bolting back for the party for a few moments, he realized with a sigh that it would be far too obvious, and lit a third cigarette.

"Here you are." Rachel gave him a wide smile as she left the building, moving to stand beside him at the balcony rail. "They're serving dessert. You've been gone so long that we started to worry about you."

He gave a slow nod, taking a drag of the cigarette. "Just soaking up a good dose of nicotine."

"I can't believe you're in med school and still smoking," she said with a laugh. "Still... it's kind of sexy sometimes."

Nelson resisted the urge to chew on the end of his cigarette in frustration. "You enjoying the night, Manus?"

"Well enough." She was silent for a moment, watching him. "You know... I don't think Dave would mind, Nelson."

He choked on a drag of his cigarette, coughing. "What?"

Her smile widened. "If you took me out sometime."

Nelson cleared his throat, thinking the night had gone from bad to worse. He ashed the cigarette over the balcony railing, more for something to do with his hands than anything else, while he tried to find some way to respond without being a complete ass. "Rachel... we're friends. We've been through a lot - we all have, and I know that's my fault. I know that things like this tend to forge intimate bonds between people when there wouldn't be anything ordinarily. But... I really think we should just stay friends."

She gave a soft sigh, full lips pursing in a slight sign of annoyance, looking out into the street. "I know Dave's your friend. But it's been over between him and me for weeks. We weren't even that serious to begin with." Brown eyes turned back to him. "Does it really mean there can't be anything between us?"

"Dave doesn't have anything to do with it, Rachel."

"Then what is it? I know you like me..."

He sighed. "I'm really very sorry, but I don't. I don't have any romantic feelings for you."

Her eyebrows knit together, voice taking on a hint of desperation. "But... I was the last one you called, before... before you flatlined...."

Nelson looked away, suddenly feeling guilty, wondering if this is where she'd gotten the wrong idea from. "Rachel..." he started, trying to be as gentle as possible, "I... I was trying to reach Dave. That's why I asked you to apologize to him for me."

A number of expressions crossed her face - shock, embarrassment, the finally quiet frustration. "Goddamn Dave." She turned to rest both elbows on the railing, burying her face in her hands. "I'm sorry, Nelson. I feel like such an ass. Here I am practically throwing myself at you...."

"It's ok," he managed, feeling more than a bit awkward.

"I just don't know where we went wrong..." she looked up at him. "Does he ever talk about me?"

Nelson contemplated another cigarette, and decided it was necessary for survival. "Not really," he said truthfully, lighting the smoke and taking a long drag.

Her shoulders trembled. "I'm sorry," she said again, "I just - I really thought he loved me, Nelson. I really did. It's so hard to accept that it was all a lie!" Then without warning, she turned and burst into sobs, burying her face on his shoulder.

Awkwardly, Nelson wrapped one arm around her, stroking her bare shoulder, surprised at how cold her skin was. "You're freezing," he said softly, but that just seemed to make her cry harder. In the end he just gave up and stood there, patting her back and smoking silently.

She pulled away finally, sniffling, digging in her handbag for a packet of tissues and dabbing helplessly at her eyes. "Oh god, I must look horrible...."

He flicked away his cigarette butt and held out a hand wordlessly for the tissue, carefully cleaning away the smears of mascara. "There. All beautiful again."

She gave him a watery smile. "Thanks, Nelson."

"Don't thank me," he murmured, looking back into the ballroom. "Can I buy you a drink?"

She looked tempted for a moment, then shook her head, starting back inside. "No... I'm the designated driver, remember? Thanks, though."

He followed her as far as the doors, then made a beeline for the nearest bar, buying two shots of scotch and downing both in rapid succession, which made things marginally better. He felt a light touch on his elbow, and turned to see Dave, who looked rather concerned.

"Are you ok?"

Nelson shot him a look. "I just smoked four cigarettes in a row, after which your damn ex-girlfriend cried her eyes out on my shoulder. How do you think I am?"

Dave looked away. "Sorry," he muttered, and Nelson sighed.

"No - I'm sorry. It's not your fault."

"Still... I shouldn't drag you into my messes."

"Why not? I drag you into mine." He managed a small smirk, and Dave chuckled, patting his back and letting his hand linger a few moments longer than strictly necessary.

"Hey.. let me grab you a drink. The Dean was handing out free tickets after dinner. What are you drinking?"

"I was drinking scotch," he admitted, "but I should probably switch to something lighter if I want to survive the night without being anymore of an ass than I already am."

Dave grinned, ordering two pints of beer and handing one to him. He held up his glass. "To surviving the night so far?"

Nelson snorted. "I'll drink to that."

For a time, the evening was fairly uneventful. They wandered out to the lobby, engaging in easy conversation with members of the faculty and hospital, and Nelson was able to put Rachel out of his mind, feeling rather like his old self again. As the night grew later, they finally settled at a table with Joe and Steckle, the former of which looked rather green.

"If I can't wench and I can't drink, what the hell do I have left?"

Steckle looked somewhat bemused. "I told you that you were cut off. But heaven forbid you ever listen to me."

Joe just groaned, and Dave patted him lightly on the back. "Go throw up, Joe. You know you'll feel better."

"Ug. Yeah.. I guess so." He stood up a little unsteadily and wandered off toward the bathrooms.

"Poor guy," Steckle remarked, leaning back in his chair.

Behind them, someone cleared their throat softly, and Nelson glanced back to see Rachel. "Hey, Manus."

She gave him a little strained smile, then turned to Dave. "Dave... do you think we could talk?"

Dave looked a torn for a moment, then forced a gracious smile. "Sure. What's up?"

She glanced at the other two. "...alone?"

He stood and offered his arm. "Come dance with me."

Nelson watched them go silently, then found a clean glass on the table, filling it from the still half full bottle of red wine in the middle, then draining the glass silently.

Steckle eyed him, a little bemused. "You're a hell of a hedonist, aren't you, Nelson?"

"Fuck you," he replied, and refilled his glass.

"Hey, no offence meant there." He tilted his head a little. "But you're going to give yourself a hell of a time if you keep on with that wine. She really bothers you that much?"

Nelson paused halfway through the glass. "I know she still wants him," he replied, and drained the glass again.

Steckle gave a low chuckle. "Seriously, man. Don't worry about her. She was just a lost puppy, you know that's Dave's weakness. He wasn't ever in love with her or anything, he's openly admitted it to me."

Nelson froze, mind going over Steckle's words as he watched them on the dance floor, both talking rather seriously. "What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, you know. Guys like things that need to be taken care of, and Dave likes to fix things. Solve problems. She was prime for that, all vulnerable and needy and stuff. Not saying you are, of course."

"Of course," Nelson echoed, his voice sounding almost too calm even to himself, and he poured himself a third glass of wine, frowning when the last drops left the bottle. He looked back at Dave, who seemed to be speaking with Rachel rather more heatedly, and sighed, picking up the glass and standing.

Steckle glanced up at him. "Where are you going?"

"Smoke," Nelson replied shortly, and headed out of the ballroom. The door to the foyer was closer, so he left the hotel all together, standing on the front steps and lighting another cigarette. He sipped at the wine between drags, mulling over Steckle's words, finding himself more and more angry the more he thought about it.

He'd just lit another cigarette when he heard Dave behind him. "Here you are. Why did you take off?"

"Smoke," he replied gruffy, and Dave looked a little taken aback.

He was silent for a moment. "... are you ok?"

"I'm fine."

"Nelson..."

"I said I'm fine," he replied angrily, finishing the wine.

"Look, I'm sorry about that, I was just trying to clean some things up...."

Blue eyes narrowed. "I'm. Fine."

Dave stepped forward cautiously, watching him, reaching to take the empty glass from him gently, and set it down on the nearby ledge of the building wall. "You want to head home?"

Nelson considered an angry retort, then sighed and took another drag. "Yeah. Please." The wine was beginning to get to him, making his limbs warm and the world a little fuzzy, but the feeling of anger and betrayal was a bright focus, like a burning fuse in the middle of the night. He followed Dave back to his truck silently, rolling down the window and continuing to smoke as they drove away.