Descending

Optimus pulled into the parking lot behind the supermarket. It wasn’t an ideal location from his rearview, but the view from his windscreen was over the lake. This was the best place, he’d discovered, to watch the sunset’s orange flicker across the dark purple blue of the water’s smooth surface.

“What do you think?” he asked, nervously.

“Oh, it’s beautiful,” Mikaela said. “It’s hard to believe that places like this exist, right here, you know, in the middle of everything.” She leaned forward to look out the windscreen, her breasts brushing against his steering wheel.

“I hoped you’d like it.” He hoped she didn’t know he was thinking about Barricade and the human right now. How had he started?

“One thing I don’t understand, Optimus. Why did you want to show me this?”

“Ummm, well, I wanted to talk.”

“About what?”

“Well…..how are you and Sam getting along?” No! Stupid! Don’t talk about Sam! Don’t get her thinking about Sam!

“Sam?” She pouted. “I don’t know. I know college is a lot of hard work and all, but he hasn’t kept even one of our chat dates.” She bit her lip.

“Have you spoken to him at all? Is he okay?”

“Oh, we talk on the phone, when he calls. You know, between classes and stuff. But it sounds like he might be getting…too busy for me.” She shifted in the seat. “But anyway, what did you want to talk about, Optimus?”

“I---perhaps it would be better if you got out so we could talk face to face.” Her body shifting in his seat was making it very hard for him to concentrate. How the spark had Barricade done it? He certainly wasn’t attractive. Maybe humans found Barricade more appealing? Optimus wondered why he’d never asked a human if he was attractive.

“Oh,” Mikaela said, clutching her handbag. “This sounds serious.”

“It’s not. Really. It’s just that you’ve been through a lot because of us and I wanted to… you know, see how you were doing.” (See you) his processor echoed.

“Oh, okay.” As he opened his door for her, she slid her long legs over the seat and skipped down to the ground. She watched as he transformed. “That’s always so amazing,” she breathed.

“It’s nothing,” Optimus said. He sat down, leaning over so that his face was close to hers. He could feel her body heat against the cooling air of evening.

“Well, it’s nothing if you’ve been doing it all your life,” she said. She tugged down the hem of her denim jacket.

“What’s the matter, Mikaela?” Optimus asked, gently. Let me know. Let me comfort you.

“Nothing,” she said. “It just sucks sometimes. I mean, you’re from another planet and everyone respects you, Sam’s at college, and me? I’m still here. Same place I was born. Everyone’s either been somewhere or is going some where. Except me. Going nowhere.”

“It is merely a matter of time,” Optimus said. “You are young.”

She shrugged, but her hands tightened on her purse handles. “For how much longer, though?”

Optimus tilted his head. “I do not know. I meant that you have time to have experiences.” This wasn’t working. More, this was not going in the direction he’d wanted it to go.

“Yeah, just after everyone else. No,” she said, staring moodily at the sunset, “I’ll probably stay here. Find some drunk asshole just like my father, marry him and pop out babies.” Her voice sounded bitter. “Get fat and ugly and then no one will want me.” She turned her face away, wiping her eyes.

“Ohhhhhh,” Optimus breathed. “Mikaela, that will not happen to you.” He felt a pain in his central processor seeing her tears.

“Right. Farthest I’ve ever been is Mission City. And now,” she shrugged, frustrated, “I’m back here. Again.”

“But Sam….”

“Oh, who are we kidding? Sam’s going to outgrow me. Probably with some stupid sorority slut right now.”

“I believe he cares about you,” Optimus said, quietly. Unwillingly. He just wanted her to stop looking so sad.

“I’m sure he does, but right now,….I feel like I’m the backup plan.”

“You don’t deserve to be anyone’s backup plan, Mikaela.”

She blushed, dropping her eyes to the ground. “Thanks, Optimus,” She leaned forward, suddenly, and planted a kiss on his cheek. “You’re sweet.”

Optimus’s optics flickered in surprise. He tipped his chin, and brushed Mikaela’s face with his own labial plates, and then pulled away quickly, as if embarrassed by his boldness. She blushed again. He could feel the heat flaring across her cheeks. “Mikaela, I---“ He stopped himself.

She stepped back. Her eyes were bluer than any he’d ever seen on a human. “What was that for?” she asked, but her voice wasn’t angry or hard like before.

“Because,” Optimus lowered his own eyes, carefully, not looking down her body but to ground beside her, “You are special,” he barely breathed, not really believing he was daring to say the words. He couldn’t bring himself to look at her. The rest of the words poured out in a rush. “Sam doesn’t know how special.” He risked touching her hair with one hand. “But I do.”

“Optimus,” she put a hand to her hair where he’d touched her. “I’m not sure what you’re trying to say.”

He gave a nervous laugh. “I’m not sure, either.” He leaned in again, quickly. “This,” he said, and kissed her, the way he’d heard Barricade had kissed the human. It was…exhilarating. Her lips were warm against his. She froze for a moment, surprised, then her mouth and body melted against his.

“Mikaela,” he said, pulling away, “I want you to feel better.”

“I feel fine,” she said, her hands still on his facial plating. “Don’t worry about me.”

“I do worry. And I…I feel more than that.”

“More?” She stepped back. Optimus’s processor felt like it plummeted through his chassis. He felt like the ground was slipping away under his feet.

“Mikaela,” he said, his voice full of longing, lifting her hand with one of his fingers. “I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy.” He brushed her cheek with the back of his other hand. “Please let me try.”

“Optimus…but Sam.”

Optimus ground his dental plates. Sam. Had to bring him up, didn’t I. He pulled back. “I understand.”

“Optimus,” she said, her eyes full of concern, but he was already transforming into his truck mode.

“Let me take you home, Mikaela,” he said, all of the softness and yearning gone from his voice.