Funny Girl ~Harley/Joker Fic~

You turn to see two tall men watching having a ball laughing. "Who are you guys?" You say, a big grin planted on your face. "Just...guys. I see you really did a number on our friends their. Nice, they had it comin' always pokin' around causing trouble for Boss." Boss? Ok, they caught your attention. "BOSS? WHAT BOSS?! What's he like?" They all snigger. "Well he's tall, and always has a smile on his face. A BIG smile." He finished off with a smirk. "Ooooo he sounds niiiiiiiiiiiice. Where is he?" His face grew wide with a smile, "Why don't I show you?"


You followed them closely behind, skipping and whistling the Kill Bill tune the entire way. Every now and then they'd turn around and give you odd looks. You didn't care, you had lips made for whistling and feet made for skipping. When you do stop, it's at an old broken down comedy club that would have originally said "Laughter House" if their wasn't a red S sloppily spray painted before the L in laughter.

They walk to the door knock and a few inaudible words were spoken... well they were audible. You just weren't paying attention. When you enter, there a merely swarms of men packed inside. Mostly brute thugs, all eyeballing you wearily and hungrily. You just walk past them with a smile on your face, and a middle finger pointed up at them. Continuing following the two big brutes from before, you finally end up into some room with an octagon patterned dress shirt and forest green vest looking at you. The little..well big, fashonista turns and cocks an eyebrow questioningly in your direction. You jump up and down squealing like a 13 year old at a N'sync show. "OH MY JOKER IT'S YOU! IT'S REALLY YOU!" Run then jump action, you tackle him to the ground hugging him and kissing him all over his face. Looks of shock from him and fear in his men all go unnoticed as you continue loving on your sweet, sweet turtle dove. "Ahem," one of the beasts finally pipes up, "she uh beat down the new croonies pretty badly. All on her own, sir. You wouldn't believe how fast she was." By the tone of his voice, you couldn't tell if he was praising or snitching on you. "Oh really now?" He roughly shoves you off of him, you landing hard on your bum still sitting as he stands, smiling like the crazy person you were. "Is that a fact?" He says looking down at you. "Well," You begin nervously, looking down now feeling the intimidation all his men felt that came with the joke, "they attacked me outta nowhere, Mistah J. I was only playing in an alley alone." You begin twirling your napped up, auburn pigtail biting your lip raw. This was weird. No one EVER made you nervous, no matter how scary. He crouched down slowly, pulling your face up by the chin making you look at that beautiful; scarred mug of his. "Well it seems we have a new member to our little team, huh boys."

~In some old Jazz cafe~ You'd heard about it before, it was still pretty popular to no longer be in it's hay day. Joker had sent you alone to steal some cash. Apparently he had been running low on bullets, and you needed to prove your worth. After sloppily looking through every nick and cut of the bar, you find a big safe hidden behind the desk in the owner's office. Damn, it was a combination. That's ok though, cause you are hella smart and break into shit all the time. You pull your big hammer out of your blood red duffel bag, blood red from beating men senseless when you filled it with bricks, and pull out a giant black sledge hammer with "Harley's Baby" written messily on the handle. Pummeling it repeatedly, you stop gasping for air in your exhaustion. The feeling of being watched floods your body, as you turn to see the two men from before grinning wildly behind you. "Mistah J said for me to do this on my own. Fuck off!" With little notice of one of them walking behind you, he grabs you, pinning you down holding your legs/slash weapons down laughing, his stinky breath invading you poor nostrils. "Did you know," he starts off sneering in your ear, "that one of those men you humiliated, was MY brother?" He bites your ear, making your face red and fear flush over you. Yet another emotion that lay dormant for quite sometime now.His eyes laughed mockingly, in your fear struck pupils. You stare wide eyed, there was no way you'd be able to take them both. No matter how good you were you couldn't beat a man without preparation. Not like this. You decide to just take it and began trembling instantly, like the scared little girl you were. They merely laugh, his crony pulling your head on you lap, resting it like he was a pillow and grabs your arms, pulling them above your head. "Oh sweetheart, it'll be ok. In fact I think you'll like it." Yellow teeth grin at you as he begins pulling your tops off at once, showing your lacey, black bra. Closing your eyes as he was about to unlatch it, pretending this wasn't happening, you'd been raped a few times before. You knew how to handle it, as much as one could. A gun sot blares through the room. Blood and a smelly corpse cover you as another shot rings in the air. Two men topping you as if you were playing dog pile. As the weight is being lifted off of you by an unseen force, you look up to see dingy green hair covered eyes staring down at you in an exhausted fashion. "I despise rapists, stupid ones at that. Rape is supposed to be mental torment. You can't break what's already broken." He tosses you beloved jacket at you beginning to walk away. "C'mon, it's obvious I won't be able to let you out of my sight without my pigheaded slaves trying to play grab ass with you." You pull your jacket on, running to clutch his arm not wanting him to leave your side. He was right. You may be strong, but he had a lot of men. A person could only fight so much.