Anything and Everything

Daniel was just closing up the office a little over a week later when he heard the familiar voice behind him, low and warm. "You're working late today."

"John." He turned and smiled; nervous, uncertain, and shivered a little when John stepped close to him, lifting a hand to touch the bandage over his eye with concern.

"What's this?"

"A mask. I am recovering from plastic surgery, after all. I do not think I could explain my sudden healing any other way." He gave a soft laugh, and his eyes fluttered closed as John's fingertips brushed along his jaw in a gentle caress. "John...."

"Come to supper with me?" he interrupted, with a little hopeful smile, and Daniel couldn't say no.

It was easier, sitting in a restaurant with a light dinner and a bottle of wine, to pretend like nothing had happened. To converse as if they were nothing more than friends, two men enjoying a late meal. Still, there was an underlying current of unease.

Daniel broke it, finally. "How is Anna?" He asked softly, taking a sip of the red wine, and John looked away, almost guiltily.

"She's... fine. Still working evenings at the theater. I thought about telling her to quit and just giving her money, but... I think it might seem a bit suspicious." He gave a soft sigh, and drained his glass. "Why did you bring her up?"

"She is your girlfriend, John."

"Yes, but...."

"But?"

He shrugged. "I'd rather just think about you, when I'm with you." He caught the waiter's attention and asked for the bill.

"Is that particularly fair to her?"

"Daniel... please." The slight tremor in his voice made him look over to green eyes that watched him with no small amount of anguish. "Please."

Oh, those eyes. Little lost boy, like the first time he'd found him, trapped in a world of darkness with no memories to guide him. Daniel managed a soft smile, and reached over to pat his hand lightly where it sat on the table. "What would you like to do?"

John pondered this for a moment, taking the bill when it came to the table and slipping a few bills inside to pay. "Can we just walk? Maybe along the river?"

"Certainly."

They left the restaurant, walking leisurely through the city streets to the riverfront, speaking a little, but mostly just enjoying the view. He wasn't too surprised when John's fingers caught his arm, resting just lightly inside his elbow as they walked, and he didn't pull away. "How is your leg?" The dark haired man asked, and he glanced up at him with a soft smile.

"It's wonderful, John. Though truthfully, it took me a day or two to learn to walk properly again." He chuckled softly, leaning into him a little more. "Thank you."

"If there's ever anything you need...."

"I know." He smiled again, warmer this time. "Thank you, John."

They'd just passed a bench that sat overlooking the water when John stopped, glancing around almost thoughtfully. "I remember this place.... I remember being here at night." He glanced over at Daniel with a little smile. "With you."

"With me?"

He nodded, stepping away from him and walking down the stone steps to the edge of the walkway, then back. "Yes, in my memories. You were selling roses."

Daniel gave a soft, sad laugh, shaking his head. "I wish I could share them with you."

John came back to him, standing two shallow steps in front of him, almost matching his height. "You were very sweet, in a little newsboy cap. You weren't often sweet - kind, yes, and fair, and firm. But you were sweet when you handed me the red rose." He gave a little smile, remembering. "I felt something for you then."

"John, you know that is not possible. I did not include any kind of... inappropriate feelings in your memories...."

"I know." John smiled, reaching out to touch his cheek lightly, running his thumb along his cheekbone under the bandage. "But since when has 'not possible' ever held true with me? May I take this off?"

He nodded, closing his eyes for a moment as he felt the surgical tape gently peeled back - too gently, he was almost certain John had Tuned it - and the bandage pulled away. He blinked a few times, trying to get used to the difference in lighting, as well as having depth perception again, and focused on the smile John was giving him, warm and a little wondering.

"You're beautiful," he murmured, then leaned in and kissed him, warm and lingering. The touch of his lips sent a shudder of sensation down his spine, and Daniel arched into it with a soft whimper, clenching the hands that slipped into his, pulling John a little closer. Then he broke away quickly, letting go of his hands and backing up on the sidewalk.

"John, we can't do this here."

"But - "

"Please."

A soft sigh, and John rejoined him on the sidewalk. "Can I walk you home, then?"

He hesitated, then nodded, and they continued on in silence for a short time, John a little behind him, keeping close to him without touching, so that he could almost feel the other man's heat through his jacket. "I've really missed you, you know," John remarked, almost conversationally, and even though Daniel had told himself very firmly that he was not going to let things like that effect him, he felt a shiver run up his spine anyway.

"I have missed you as well, John," he murmured, and felt John's hand at the small of his back, just for a moment, but the warmth lingered long after it fell away.

They turned the corner onto his street, and John spoke again, a little more tentatively. "Can I... come in for a bit?"

Part of him told himself to run from the inevitable, but he damn well wanted it too. "Of course."

John pulled him close in the elevator, stroking hands around his waist and nuzzling his hair, voice soft, breath warm on his skin. "Tried to tell myself to stay away from you... just can't stop thinking about you," he murmured, tightening his arms around him slightly as Daniel shivered at his words. He couldn't help but shiver, and it wasn't all desire.

Truthfully, John Murdoch scared the hell out of him. He knew John - what John was supposed to be, at least - warrior, creator, protector. The things his lessons had taught him. What he'd never expected was the inclusion of 'lover', and certainly not for him, never for him. Now John was asking - needing - to be with him, needing intimacy with him. It wasn't how things were supposed to go. John was supposed to settle down with a nice girl and run the city from a normal, human perspective, and leave Schreber to live out the rest of his quiet existence trying to do what little he could to help people, make up for what he'd done. He certainly wasn't supposed to want him, certainly wasn't supposed to be trying to... to woo him, of all things. He certainly wasn't supposed to be trailing soft kisses along his jaw, breath warm on his face, and - oh....

A shiver ran down his spine as John's lips closed over his poor mangled earlobe, sucking gently, almost worshipful, tracing the scars with his tongue. It felt... good. Better than good, which was likely a big part of why he was so scared. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. But he couldn't stop himself from wanting it.

He pulled back enough to look at him, reaching up to cup his face in his hands, searching his eyes. "Are you sure that you want this, John?"

"I need you," the man replied softly, a little helplessly, and leaned in to catch his mouth, his fingers tangling in his hair to draw him into it, moaning his name softly against his lips. He couldn't help but arch into him, throwing caution and reason aside, drinking in his kisses almost helplessly. John's affection, his touch, was bright and hot and almost overwhelming after so long alone, after being convinced for so long that he'd always be alone.

He managed to keep enough of his wits about him to be aware when the elevator had stopped, and broke away almost regretfully, catching John's hand in his and taking him into his apartment. It was a good size for one person, though it looked a little smaller from the bookshelves that lined most of the rooms. Daniel hung their coats up on a hat stand in the main room, which had a big bay window overlooking the street, and a very large cage with three happy looking white rats inside. He felt John slip his arms around him from behind, and leaned back into him with a soft sigh, tilting his head for the kisses that the other man slowly trailed up his neck.

"Beautiful Daniel," he murmured, moving to face him, and Daniel felt the tips of his ears heat up, and shook his head.

"John, I -"

"Shhh," he breathed softly, and leaned in to catch his mouth with his again, very effectively driving away the rest of Daniel's self restraint with the force and depth of his kisses, with the way his arms tightened around him, hands stroking hungrily over his back and sides. He couldn't pull away, couldn't put a stop to something he wanted so badly, even knowing the trouble it would undoubtedly cause him later. John needed him; he would do his best to be there for him, regardless of the cost.

It was all too easy to loose himself to it, the fingers that quickly and deftly undid his clothing to stroke hungrily over bare skin that was now smooth and sensitive, thanks to John. He tugged John's shirt undone with fingers that only trembled a little, tilting his head back and yielding as the man began to kiss hungrily down his neck, sucking and nipping at the skin. "Can't keep my hands off of you," he murmured, smoothing Daniel's shirt and jacket off his shoulders, stroking hands hungrily over his bare torso.

"Come to bed with me," he said softly, catching his hand, and tugged him into his bedroom.

There was a kind of urgency between them, unspoken, but felt all too strongly in kisses and touch, in clothing tugged away with frantic hands, until they tumbled into bed, nude and aching. John's lips covered his chest in hungry kisses, hands stroking his hips and thighs, curling around his erection, stroking him slowly, making him gasp and arch up against him. It was no less intense, no less overwhelming than it had been when John had seduced him in the bath house, and his fingers found John's cock without delay, needing to make the other man shudder against him, needing to feel his pleasure. He gave a soft moan against the others' mouth, stroking his fingers over the heat of John's skin, feeling his erection fit so naturally in the palm of his hand. "John... make love to me."

It frightened him a little, asking for this, not knowing how John would react to the request, or even during and after the act. But part of him needed to know, know for certain how far John was willing to go, how strong this strange infatuation was, how far beyond his intended heterosexuality the man would step. He watched the man draw back to look at him, eyes darkened with desire and need, and he wet his lips, voice husky. "How?"

Daniel swallowed hard, John's desire almost palatable, increasing his own arousal and anxiety both. "From behind. Lay against my back. And..." he shifted, reaching to tug open the drawer of his bedside table and fumble for the small bottle inside. At John's questioning look, he shook his head, not willing to explain why he had this, just squeezing an ample amount on his fingers, reaching down to stroke them over John's cock, loving the way it made the man groan and rock into his touch.

He curled on his side as John pulled away, trying to relax, trying to push away the anxiety. John seemed to pick up on it, pressing close to him and kissing his shoulder warmly, trailing slow kisses up the side of his neck. "You sure about this?"

John's chest pressed against his back, arms tight around him, and everywhere their skin touched he felt the most glorious heat, like fire, searing through his skin and slowly warming the ice of loneliness that had been inside him for so long. So even though he couldn't remember doing this, if he'd ever even done this before on earth, he drew a soft breath and rocked his hips back against John, ready to leave himself entirely to his mercy. "Please...."

The soft, lingering kisses that John continued to drop on his skin helped him focus as John took the small bottle from him, but they couldn't stop him from shivering in anticipation. The press of John's fingers between his thighs was unexpected, and made him draw a sharp breath as they tentatively stroked him, smoothing up to tease him, slick with lube. He whimpered and pressed back against them before he could stop himself, gasping at the play of wet skin against sensitive nerves, at the fingertip that carefully pressed inside him, as if to test him. "John, please...."

John was more careful than he would have expected, but it didn't stop him from tensing as the man started to press into him, whimpering at the shock of it. He was more surprised when John stopped, pressing his lips to his neck, kissing warm and gentle just under his earlobe as he stroked Daniel's chest and stomach soothingly, fingers finally slipping down to tease his cock. Daniel forced himself to relax, pressing back against him, body slowly becoming accustomed to the spidery ache of penetration that crawled up his spine. When John was finally sheathed inside him, they both held still for a moment, gasping breathlessly, John's lips pressing softly, again and again to his jaw. He turned his face toward him to let the man kiss the side of his mouth, trembling, breath hot on his skin. "Is this okay?" his lover managed to ask, and Daniel answered by rolling his hips back against him, whimpering at the rush of sensation as the movement made John's cock press against him just so, sending a sharp hit of pleasure up his spine.

"Oh god, John - !" He reached back before he could stop himself to clench at John's hip, keeping him close and deep inside him. Then he started to rock slowly against him, crying out softly against John's mouth, each shudder of sensation more painfully sweet then the last. John shifted just a little, leaning over him more to catch his mouth properly, kisses trembling and needy and so deep that Daniel was sure the man was determined to memorize every inch of his mouth. John started to rock with him slowly, harder and thicker and deeper inside him than Daniel ever thought possible, and as much as it ached it was so intense, so intoxicating that he couldn't help but crave more.

Things escalated quickly, their bodies moving harder, faster together as passion dictated, John's breath hot and hard against his ear in whispered, incredulous words of how good he felt, how tight and hot and slick. That did it for Daniel almost as much as the physical sensation, as John's fingers stroking his erection, his cock filling him, sending hot shocks of sensation through him as he hit that hot, sensitive place inside him again and again. He could feel the pleasure build and surge, uncontrollably strong and intense, until all he could do was buck back helplessly against his cock, breath in whimpering cries with each thrust, craving the sensation, craving release.

"Come on, love," John breathed against his ear almost helplessly, and he felt his body tense and seize as it all rushed over him, his breath and cry of pleasure sticking in his throat as shudders of bliss arched through his body again and again. He heard John gasp his name almost helplessly, shuddering against him and rocking deep into him with a throaty cry, a flood of warmth inside him proof that he shared the same pleasure that left Daniel speechless, heart pounding and gasping for breath.

It was so good, so warm and intense and so... so caring that he almost couldn't process it, his body shivering in the joy of pleasure and affection after being so long alone. He was sobbing before he realized, gasping for breath, emotion crashing in on him all at once - joy and elation at having this pleasure, the pain of knowing that he shouldn't have done this, should never have let John stray down this path when he needed to be with Anna, the agony of knowing that this couldn't last.

"Are you all right?" John's voice was soft, concerned, and he pulled away carefully with a soft gasp, moving to enfold him in his arms, covering Daniel's face with soft kisses. "Did I hurt you?"

He managed to shake his head, pressing closer to him, craving his warmth, the strength of his embrace. "It's just - it's so good, John. So very good. I have never...."

"Shhh," his lover breathed softly, kissing him gently, hands stroking over his hair, his back, but he was trembling a little as well, seeming just as overwhelmed.

"I should not be doing this," Daniel whispered softly, closing his eyes against it all. "I should not want you so badly. You need to go home, you need to be with her... I should not need you as much as I do."

"Don't want to leave you," John whispered helplessly, ignoring his own tears and kissing Daniel hard, helplessly. "I love you so much."

The words were too much, too beautiful for him to accept, to face. He buried his face in John's chest, shuddering, trying to hold back the emotion, to tell himself that he couldn't, wouldn't feel this way. "John...."

"Shhh," his lover breathed again softly, hands stroking over his back. "Just let me stay. Just tonight. She - she won't know. Please, Daniel."

He nodded, but said nothing more, and slowly they calmed, taking silent comfort in their intimacy. John pulled the covers tight around them, nestling his face against Daniel's hair, and soon after he felt himself drift off to sleep.

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