Running the Gauntlet

Running the Gauntlet

Part II: Learning

This is not good. My legs honestly start to feel like they're made out of rapidly melting ice. I'm almost sure that rubber is way more stable than I am right now. Courtney and Mitchel only seem a little woozy, and Vader, of course, isn't affected in the least bit. I wonder if he's causing this…s…AGH! My head is really beginning to pound now. Ow! I think I know that migraine is back with vengeance now. It's like someone is poking around in my mind and trying to tear it apart. How the hell do I get who ever it is outta there and heal it? I can't focus on anything else but the pain, it just won't go away. Nothing I do is making it stop... God please make it stop. I can't take much more of this. I'm losing myself to the pain: I'm losing my mind. Please, God, please if there was just something to make it... Hold up a minute there... I do remember reading something about blocking part of your mind away in a 'mental room' of sorts. It sounds all yoga-like metaphysical new age fantasy type meditation figurative language, but maybe... What's going on here, what's happening to me? It now feels like I'm on fire, why can't I concentrate? Ah the hell with all this, what do I have to lose at this rate? Maybe it'll be some kind of out of body experience and it might just be mind over matter. Alrightie then. Going to happy place now and locking the door. What else do I have to lose? Oh well, here goes nothing. Maybe I'll pass as docile if I'm spacing out or something. Breathe in. Breathe out. Ignore the stabbing pain... Ignore the pain. You can do it. No, I can... Yes I can. Come on. Come on.

"She's not responding well to the hypnosis, Lord Vader. She seems to be fighting it." This is not helping me meditate here, trying to translate what they're saying. Come on brain start trying to filter it out, it's all gibberish. Happy place remember? Time to go to happy place.

"Hetherir, that is not of your concern right now. The channel is under your tutelage now. You're only concern is to teach her how to "channel" the dark side. It should be a challenge for you."

Ignore it Di, ignore it. Don't pay them any mind, try and prove you have the ability to focus even in extreme pain. Happy place, go to happy place. The place where no one can hurt you like this, even if you don't know how they are... No! Don't lose focus. Stay calm. Happy place. Happy place.

"Then whose concern is it, Lord Vader? You can not just let her get away with this."

"Hetherir, that is no one's concern. Different channels respond to hypnosis in different ways. The Emperor, himself, even realized she had the potential to be a problem if we didn't break her in now. I believe you are up to the challenge, are you not.?"

"Yes, I am Lord Vader. Forgive my questioning of your orders."

Almost there, almost. The pain is subsiding slowly... I feel light and safe, the voices are far away. The music has such a sweet sound to it, harmonious but still a bit longing. Just like some of the more calming sonatas written for pianos and violins. It's enveloping me in its comfort, I'm safe now. The pain is gone and I can barely recall it ever happened. There's something to this meditation stuff after all it seems. Still, I wish I could go home. I miss my mother, I miss home cooked meals, I miss everything. I wanna go home... Diamond isn't my name... It's...

Two weeks later

These past two weeks have felt like I've been stuck in a daze really. Everything around doesn't seem real at all. Well, not completely real at least. Sure, I get enough done to not be killed and attempt some vain attempt at usefulness, but I fail more often in that attempt that Courtney or Mitchel. I'm starting to wonder if there is something defective about me. I don't seem to want to comply as much as they do with Hetherir's training, nor do find myself jumping to assist them at every turn. Instead, I find my thoughts waver and travel to other places; travel to other people and a beautiful place with music that could make your soul cry in joy and longing. I don't think I'm really here with everyone else. I miss Aurelius however. He always seemed to know when something was bothering someone, he also seems to genuinely care about something other than himself. Mitchel has been becoming so closed off lately it scares me, and Courtney... Courtney's been acting more aggressive and cold lately herself. I feel like I'm all alone, except for that one beautiful place. My whole body aches when I feel like this and I seem to lose the ability to stand up on my own two feet for a moment unless I use something to hold myself up. Still, this is probably why I have been summoned to see Lord Vader. I just hope I haven't displeased him. That tends to be lethal.

My mouth feels dry as I walk up to the door that separates his quarters from the rest of us in the halls. Well, here goes nothing. I try to keep calm as my life flashes before my eyes-except it's not my life that I see. There are so many images spinning in my head as I walk through the door that opens with a slithering hiss of a click. My voice somehow doesn't fail me as I look up to see the darkly armoured figure of Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith and my current keeper. I am told I should say my master but those words sour in my throat. "You summoned me, Lord Vader?"

"Yes. Tell me how your studies under Hetherir have been progressing." He sounds monotone as ever with his respirator hissing between his breathes and pauses. Everything about him would suggest an automaton, except I keep feeling that in his subtle inflections there's a human being trapped underneath in some moments. Werther or not I would wish to know the man, I don't know. I don't know if it is even my place to be thinking this at all. I'm merely a... I am just merely a... I'm just me and it's probably not my place to be thinking this. Still I just wish I could get through a day with out migraines.

"Well, I'm afraid that I'm a rather disappointing pupil for Lord Hetherir, sir. I don't really seem to even be able to channel for him. However, I have picked up a few more languages, so I should be able to be of some use soon." This feels weird. Just saying this as a fact makes me want to…to…oh, I don't know. It makes me want to throw up or something. But why? Why do I feel that every part of my existence rejects this? It's like I don't want to be of any use to them at all...

"Do not fear about your usefulness. You will be adequate for my purposes soon. Focus harder on Hetherir's lessons for the time being." I don't get it. Why did Lord Vader switch to Inglish all of a sudden? It just doesn't make sense, but I feel more comfortable than when I am conversing with him in this tongue. If I didn't know better I would even say that sounded kinder than how he usually speaks to me. Still, I can't focus any harder on those lessons than I already do. I feel like I'm being ripped into pieces every single time. How am I supposed to overcome that? "You may leave now child."

With that, what am I supposed to do but ob... comply. Dismissals rarely get more obvious than that and I'm quite lucky to even be alive right now really. It hurts. "Yes sir." My feet tread on towards the door as it opens, for once I feel a slight faint speck of a spark warmth in the building. It leaves as quickly as I came but... I don't feel afraid of Lord Vader right now. Normally he would terrify me, but that has been lessening as time goes on. Maybe I'm just getting used to it as the days go on. I do seem to go about in a daze after all, it probably is just starting to register less and less. I know I have some potential to use the Force, or so I'm told, but it doesn't seem to be very strong in me at all. I can no longer hold in a sigh while wincing as the door slides shut behind me; locking me out into the hallway. Something is wrong with me.

Maybe I should go talk to Aurelius. Even if Lord Vader had instructed me to concentrate on my lessons in using and channeling the Force... I'm not very good at it. It would make more sense to concentrate a bit more on an area I have some hope in... Besides, I miss talking with Aurelius and he could probably help me with an old journal I found in a jacket pocket. It could be interesting at least.

12 days later

I've almost completely translated this journal, it took some time but it is a very interesting read. Apparently Ancient Basic has a slightly different word base than the current Basic, although the writer wrote in a hodgepodge dialect of Ancient Basic and Ancient Tetan. Definitely not something you see everyday. Strangely enough, I had an easier time deciphering the Ancient Tetan than the Basic still. Hn. Why is it so hard for me to get only the most used language here while I can learn the more obscure ones with a measure of relative ease? This makes no sense what-so-ever really. Ugh! There go those headaches again, why do they keep... Keep coming without rhyme nor reason.. This is most definitely worse than the others I've been having for the past three weeks. I wish I could see straight, I wasn't prone to migraines before I came here. Man, the light seems so bright, yet so comforting, like I've been trapped in the dark for way too long… It's only just a reading lamp too boot. Who have I pissed off up...

The fire splitting my brain intensifies as the door slithers open and shut with its sibilantly hissing clicks. Even if it is just a noise, I just can't stand it. The voice splitting the resulting silence adds on even more layers of pain for a moment.

"Diamond, what are you doing…oh. Another headache?" Courtney's voice sounds like it used to, some what casual and almost a hint of dying warmth in the tone. Still, I would be fooling myself to think this was just because of some undecipherable need to check in on her cousin and friend. That never happens any more in this place. How can anyone survive this type of environment without dying inside I don't know. But I still must be alive for it to hurt.

"Yeah, Courtney. Another headache, but this one is worse than before." My voice is soft and haggard sounding, even to myself. The music threatening to engulf it before it can be heard beyond its conflicting notes that are both jarring at times, then comforting and soothing at others. Either way, the jarring notes plus my pain keep me from noticing her footsteps and movement as she comes up behind me. Thus it was her hands on my shoulders that kept me from jumping up to the ceiling when she placed them there. Her weight was comforting and emanated the very warmth that seemed to be leaching out of her personality.

"Interesting book, are you translating it? I haven't seen many books around here lately, they all seem like holographs or something." Distant curiosity rings throughout her words, she must be in a more contemplative mood right now. I wonder how long this will last, I don't want to be on the receiving end of another switch of her moods. The last one left me coming out with both a bruised back as well as what little ego I have being nearly devastated to non-existence.

"Yeah, I'm translating it Courtney. I really don't remember exactly where I found it. It has a fascinating basis however." I couldn't keep all of my excitement out of my voice as I craned my neck up to look her in the eyes as much as possible. My smile refused to recede or repress itself willing past a curving of my lips as the migraine began to subside. For the briefest of moments I almost thought I was losing my mind further as the room seemed to light up a barely perceptible amount. Maybe there was a power fluctuation? "Do you recognize any of this?"

Her eyes fell cold as she looked down on me. "You are aware if you spent half of this focus on improving yourself as you do translating some old diary you found, you wouldn't be so far behind me with Lord Hetherir and his lessons." The lighting must have corrected itself since it seemed to dim after that. I tried to keep the pain out of my expression, I really did try to at least. Still, she must have noticed it since she bent down enough to glance at the page I was on. "No, I don't recognize any of it really except for a few basic words. I'm surprised you can read this knowing how much you struggle with Basic." Her grip did tighten on my shoulders for a moment before she rested her forehead against the top of my head. "Your emotions still show in your eyes too much, and on your face. Diamond, you can't be like this and do well here. They'll chew you up and spit you out if you stay like this." It was a tenderness I wasn't expecting, almost as if there was a reason and worrying concern behind her actions. I hope my back can survive this without too much pain.

I ended lowering my gaze as I felt her arms slide around my shoulders into a slightly off-balanced hug. I ended up squeezing her left hand as I squished my eyes tightly shut to keep from crying as the pain in my head continued to ebb and increase. Her voice did soften a great deal when she straightened up. "You should go see a medical 'droid about those headaches again. They may find a cause this time." I nodded my agreement to her statement, since my voice had become to chocked up to speak. I could hear the softness of her footsteps as she headed towards the door and left without a sound other than that of a slitheringly annoying click.

I rubbed my temples to try and massage the splitting pounding of my blood vessels to cease in my head. The light seemed to still be fluctuating, but I could no longer hold in the sobbing that wanted to break free. I was alone, there was no one to see or hear me cry. It wasn't safe to let anyone see that even if it was something I couldn't stop. The loneliness and emptiness were overbearing and unbearable at times, although it wasn't that for once. I didn't feel so adrift in this place for one moment. The looming darkness of loneliness banished behind the fluctuating lights instead of trying to engulf everything in its path here. I don't know how long I cried, but my migraine had subsided when I finished. Although I ended up falling asleep where I sat afterwards.

A few hours later

Well, few people end up waking up with their head using both their arms and the book they were working on as pillows anymore around here I'd imagine. That is exactly how I ended up coming to. Miraculously enough the journal wasn't damaged more than a few splotches on the outside of the pages. The pounding in my head had subsided substantially, making the nap quite worth it. The light fluctuation seemed to have settled out but in favor of making the room seem a bit brighter than before. I'm not complaining since my head is actually cooperating enough to allow me to try and read what I've translated, a miracle in itself. I'm not sure how it happened, but this room somehow manages to seem a bit warmer as well, maybe just another side effect of the power fluctuating earlier. To be honest, I am actually looking forward to just being able to read this without having to stop every five minutes to figure out a new word. The woman who wrote it seems rather interesting. It would be an easy journal to lose oneself in for a while.

"…then in order to save the fight for another day, you can save part of your personality and knowledge in a 'mental room.' However you will have to sacrifice part of yourself to do this. Poor Ulic, if he only knew about this, he might have been able to defeat that Sith poison they put in him and that war might have been less severe, and Cay would still be here."

This whole journal seems to be the life of a smuggler who apparently dealt a lot with Jedi- so that's what they were like. I wonder... Who were Ulic and Cay? What war could have been less severe? What would it have been like to have been there? Oh well, it's just a book. Not like it is going to start talking to me other than what it says... She loved him greatly, and he loved someone else. Some things just aren't meant to be I guess. Although, now that I think about it... This passage seems familiar, like I've read it before or… I must just remember it from translating it earlier. It is a sad story, bitter sweet but sad in places. Allie does sound like she was a meditative type surprisingly enough from some of her advice in here, oddly enough it doesn't fit with the mental picture I am developing of her. But obviously no-one is so two-dimensional that they can't grow and change with exposure to other ways. Maybe it was something she had heard from those around her. I might have to try it the next time I get one of those migraines and have to endure a lesson with Hetherir. Couldn't hurt to try right? So what else happened to you Urchin...

"…it is said that the Jedi can heal most common injuries, but the healers say that most of the healing comes from within a being, they just hurry the process along…"

Three days later

It was nice to get a chance to just finish reading about someone's life on paper and not a computer. There were so many things that she saw, and how she had this cocky front she showed the world... I could never do something like that. I wouldn't be able to keep it up, I'm not confident or skilled enough to pull it off. Although, my head has been clearing up these past few days as I read along side her. I'm not completely sure why that is. Maybe it is all the meditation exercises she had mentioned. Some of them were from a more Jedi origin; Jedi were supposedly fairly calm most of the time according to their reputation- well what little of it I could glean from her. Supposedly so calm that the forest grew right up ones ass and kept you in the clouds. I think I would have adored her had I actually ever gotten to met her. Allie made me laugh for the first time in my stay here. I actually feel more like myself and less out of it, maybe the laughter removed the fog from my mind. I know why I feel irritated when Hetherir orders us to harm each other or some other living thing. I know why it causes me to wince when they order me around period. I know why I can't even admit some things to myself, then or now. I don't like this situation we're in, and I wish there was a way to change it... But I would have to be able to change the universe and it is not like I know anyone attempting that. I have snooped around enough to find out that there are others like me out there- but I have no way of getting in contact with them.

I truly do not like the hissing sound of the clicking doors. I never thought I'd miss the sound of squeaky hinges, though. I wonder who'd be in such a hurry to seek me out here. This is the closest place I've found that has actual plants thriving and growing. Maybe it's not anyone interested in finding me, they may want to relax amongst the flowers and plants as well. No need to be paranoid or conceited just yet. "You are Berchange, right." A brisk voice cuts across the tranquility of this one heavenly sanctuary I've found in this cold mechanical city. I looked up to see who had been speaking to me, when I started to feel quite a bit inferior to the woman looking me over as if I were being evaluated. She has a head of red hair I would kill to have naturally, green eyes that could stop someone at twenty paces as efficiently as a riffle- currently I am living proof of this, and is taller than me. Figures, most people are taller than me anyhow. She's after something from me it seems, I wonder what it is and why she felt she had to come bother me here. I'm not these people's lapdog; despite what they think.

"Yes, I'm Diamond. It's only what you people have been calling me lately." My own voice somehow remains steady, even if I can never quite manage to hide all of the irritation I feel towards some of the more arrogant beings around here. I am no one's slave nor property. I forced myself to move out of the paralysis that had settled into my limbs and held her gaze as strongly as I could. I would show no fear to these beings, nor would I show the aggression they seemed to desire. Perhaps this was my first big mistake as her expression changed from intensely analyzing to a thinly disguised sneer of disdain.

"I have heard you can translate some obscure languages Tellurian." Her voice was cold and flat, although her eyes were lively. Filled with ever changing emotions, she like the others who tried and bossed around those like me, were as far from the dying eyes of a majority of the Tellurians. Disdain would normally make a woman with a lithe build such as hers look horribly ridiculous. On her, it only made her more statuesquely pretty.

"Yes, I can to a degree. but why would that interest…" My blood starts to boil with how dismissive she is about things to cut me off when I'm trying to figure her out. Still, I suppose there's not much I can do with her here right in my face... Er, personal space really.

"I need for you to translate this text for me. I need it to be done in the next three hours and none of the 'droids seem to be able do it." Okay, so it is beyond a translator droid's ability and she expects me to be able to decipher this thingamabob. This makes absolutely no fucking sense what so ever! Still I have to be nice... Despite the fact that Red over here has the personality of a rabid junkyard guard dog.

"Okay, what kind of text is it? Do you have any clue as to what language it may be in, I don't know that many languages yet." Okay, attempt to ferret out information continues. Maybe I might just get half a clue on what the hell I'm dealing with here. I don't know if I like the sound of this. My suspicions on not liking this situation were proven right on target when the almost Amazonianly tall and muscled woman grabbed me roughly by my arm and started to yank me along behind her as the door slid open and closed quickly behind us. Damn thing nearly closed on my heel.

"The base language is obscure so I don't. The droids couldn't decipher or identify it either. You will accomplish this in three hours Berchange. No excuses." Her pace was brutally fast as I struggled to keep up with her. It was either that or she would end up dragging me along even more than she already was and my poor right arm would have been even more wrenched and screwed up than it will be just trying to keep up with her. That would cause even more problems since I'm right-handed and all. Hetherir is even worse than she is. The ordeal is thankfully over after what feels like hours, although the clocks suggest it has only been twenty minutes. At this point in time, I am tossed into an abandoned room that only has a table with a chair in it. There is a large box on the table that seems almost rusted with age and decay. I look back over at her as I straightened back up on to get a sneering glare of disdain in return. "Three hours Berchange." With that spartan statement, she spun on her heel and left me all alone as the door clicked behind her and I could hear the faint plucking in of a code from the other side of the wall.

Well, wasn't that sweet of her. She just locked me in here with a big ol' heavy box here for me to lug around and investigate. She never really did answer my questions about what it was she needed translated other than some text, so I might as well see what's in this ol' box. It seems to be a made of metal, although prying the lid off will take some time. Splendid, today officially joins the shitty days of the past few weeks.

It takes about forty minutes for me to pry the lid off by myself. Blood spots down my fingers where the crowbar had forced some of my nails to bend upwards. That hurt more than the scratches and scrapes I have along the rest of my hands, wrists, and fore arms from the edges of that lid. It takes a moment to climb up on the table itself to see what is inside of this giant iron coffin. One stone-looking tablet seems to be laid out in the center of a circle of twelve triangular-based pyramid crystalline and metallic shaped objects. That's odd, very odd. Well, I can't read anything or see any text with it in that overgrown luggage. This is going to hurt, a lot.

It takes nearly as long to get the tablet out of the box as it did to get the lid off of the box. It is a heavy item, but still it's slightly lighter than I thought it would be. Welpers, it seems to be time to play archaeologist. Maybe if worse comes to worse I can throw one of the pyramids at her. Might make me laugh for all of a second anyways. Although I will bet that the droid didn't even look inside that box judging from the fact it took damn near forever to get that lid open and this thing out.

So where is this text that needs to be... What in the world is going on here? There's writing carved into the tablet alright. It's an older dialect but I would know that language anywhere... It's Inglish. Why would Red the bitch need a tablet written in Inglish for? Curiouser and curiouser as we go. "This stone is the key to the disks. I planned it out this way so that the information would remain safe. The safety of this information is now in you charge. May the Force be with you and may God watch over you." That's a curious inscription alright. What could be stored in those pyramid disks that is so important. Only one way to find out, that is to figure out how this damnable thing works!

A half-hour later

I only a few more minutes to figure this puzzle out. Okay, so what do we know... The pyramid things I'm looking at are disks. This stone is the key to these disks. How is it a key to the disks…Could there be a note hiding somewhere to tell you how to access the disks. Maybe there's a code or something on the back! It's worth a try anyway. Alright, I'm feeling an indention on the back here. There's a recession there. I wonder what will happen if I press in it… What is this note doing in here? I think I did it.

"…Congratulations. You have cracked the stone's puzzle. It's a bit archaic, but this is the best I can do right now, I'm afraid. The recession is a disk player which will load the text and secrets onto a screen of your choosing. Just point the small triangle at any screen and you will see it my friend."

Well, lets just see if this guy was telling the truth. Well, here we go. Waitta sec, shouldn't that be here I go, but…Oh well, who cares. Little triangle pointing at the screen on portable datapad and…Whoa! That guy really was telling the truth. Is that a map on the screen? It is. It's a map to…to the Valley of the Jedi? Why would that lady need this for her mission…Opps! Someone's opening the door, I'd better hide this.

"Have you had any success in decoding the tablet, Berchange."

"You're early. Very little, the language is a dialect of an almost extinct language. It's taking a great deal of time to understand what it is saying. I never really caught your name before, so what is it?"

"I didn't tell you my name before. I need the information in that package soon."

"I was wondering, why do you need this information for your mission, why is it so important? So far, it talks a lot about keys and a war."

"That is not necessary for you to know, I just need it translated soon."

I don't know how, but somehow I managed not to die just then. That was close. What does the red-head want with this though, I don't see how it could be of any use to her…Unless, she was after the location of that valley. If that is the case, then I can't let her get her hands on that disk. Okay, I'll just have to load the rest of the information on my laptop, and then get rid of the map holding disks. This is gonna take a while. Well, what little time I have left. Maybe I should just smash some of the disks in the box. It could take time to realize what was what. I just hope I get this done in time...

The next few minutes felt as if I were moving at speeds that were alien to me, but I finally got it done. I never thought I would finish transferring all of that information in time. I even managed to place the disks back and shatter a few just enough that they are unusable. I tested the theory out myself. She locked me in here, came back early to check on my progress, and treats me like some indentured servant. It would be really stupid to think that she hadn't counted the number of the pyramids earlier, and I am kinda trying to pull the wool over her eyes. Take that imperial guard dog, I don't take this shit lying down. I have figured out a way to fight back.

I was ready when the door slid open and closed after a quick press of buttons deafened me slightly. My insistent watch dog was back. I didn't turn to look at her, but I could hear the falls of her footsteps. She wasn't trying to hide her approach. "Have you finished translating that tablet yet." It took everything

I had not to go 'Yes, ma'am commando drill sergeant ma'am.' back at her. Talk about being bossy.

"Yes, I have Red. But, it is a little obscure in it's meaning." I looked over my shoulder at her as I said this, noting two larger guys coming in to grab the box that had been in here when I was so unceremoniously dumped in here. I had managed to place everything back barely before they got here. Dear God, please let me pull this off.

"A little obscure." Judging by the look on her face, she suspects something is up. I'm in deep shit if she doesn't buy this. Please, please, please let her at least not recognize what the language actually is.

"Well, it says the tablet is the key to the disks. I haven't quite figured out what that means yet. Maybe you will. Anyway, the box is right over there with all the disks. Here's the best translation I could get off of the tablet. Have fun with it Red." I handed her a scribbled on piece of paper with an incomplete version of the instructions on it. May it be a pain in your ass.

"Red." I think I offended her a bit with that one. At least her tone sounds like I have hit a small nerve. I don't know what or how, but I will take it.

"Red. I don't know what else am I supposed to call you. I don't even know your name since you never gave it." It was as calm as I could, but still it felt like her eyes were peering into my young and inexperienced soul. I have never tried to trick anyone like her before- especially over something like this. If I can manage to pull this off and not die, I swear I will never do anything like this again. I don't have nerves of steel or any such things to keep me from flubbing up. My face is too open and gives me dead away. I can only hope she believes it's because I'm scared she's going to kill me for not finding out more information.

"You're sure you didn't figure out about what 'the tablet being a key' meant." Her demeanor is cold, and focused. But the emotion and open suspicion is there. I don't know if I can do this, she's way too good for me to even hope to out bluff her for much longer. I'm dead if she finds out, I can tell that much from how she seems to palm something at her side. I don't know what is there, but I doubt it will help my continued existence any.

"Yes, it's still a mystery to me." If she buys this lame line, I have beach front property in the middle of a landlocked desert I can sell her. The two men with her seem to believe me, but she seems skeptical. Fuck I knew I would screw this up... Why did I think I could hide something like this from such a...

"Take that box out of here. I will be keeping an eye on you Berchange. Get out of my sight." I don't know how I didn't die this time as I all but kept myself from running from Red. My clip was a faster walk than usual, but the more distance I have between her and myself the better. My heart won't stop racing until I have at least a building between me and that woman.

Although, I had the strangest thought I've had since ending up in this place. Something more akin to what I was before, something coming back to me... That went better than expected. I think I will try that again sometime. A girl has to fight back however she can right?

 

 

 

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