None of Our Business

As Cassian approached his quarters, he heard Jyn moaning from within. So she and Bodhi started without me, he thought. But then he realized they were moans of pain, and his heart clenched. “Jyn!” He opened the door as fast as he could and got to the bed in a few long strides.

He saw Bodhi standing beside their bed, one hand across his chest, the other supporting his frowning face, not taking his eyes off Jyn, who was doubled up in pain on the bed. She had stopped moaning when she heard him come in.

“What’s going on?”, Cassian looked from one partner to the other.

“Cramps”, answered Bodhi. “And she won’t take anything for it. Says nothing they have in the Medbay would help”.

“Shit. What can I do for you, love?”, Cassian asked, as he sat next to Jyn and grabbed her hand.

“Not much, really. I just have to ride it out. It’ll be over in a few minutes – Owwww”.

Cassian and Bodhi shared a look of impotence.

“There’s no point in you being here, Bodhi. You should go”, said Jyn in-between whimpers. Bodhi was supposed to conduct an inspection of a ship fleet that was scheduled to fly out in a couple of hours. He looked at her hesitantly.

“Go”, agreed Cassian. “I’ll stay with her”. Bodhi nodded. He was already in his uniform. He grabbed a clipboard from the desk before leaning down to Jyn and whispering something Cassian couldn’t make out. Bodhi then kissed Cassian’s lips briefly and headed out.

“You should go too, Cass”, she said, as soon as Bodhi closed the door behind him.

“What? Why?”

“I’m used to doing this on my own, to tell you the truth. This is embarrassing – Oww!”

Cassian scuffed. “Well. You live with me now, remember? I don’t exactly have somewhere else to be right now”.

“I- I’m sorry”. Jyn only now realized she had been unthoughtful, and she felt a pang of guilt. She also felt the cramps were starting to subside. She took a deep breath. “Cass, I – I’ve been feeling a little weird. All of this – joining the Rebellion, having somewhere to sleep every night, something to eat, having you and Bodhi take care of me all the time… it’s sort of overwhelming. All I ever did before was run, fight, and survive on my own. And as hard as that was, it’s who I was. I feel like there’s this huge part of me which I have no use for anymore. It’s like…”

Cassian felt his stomach and fists clench. This was hard to hear. Wasn’t she happy with him and Bodhi? Would she rather be on her own? He felt like screaming or punching. But then he realized this was Jyn. His weakness. He thought of her growing up with Saw Gerrera’s group, then being abandoned at 16. What kind of life could make war seem pampered in comparison? I've never had the luxury of political opinions, was one of the first things she had ever told him. He realized what she was saying now didn’t really have much to do with him or Bodhi.

Cassian sat next to Jyn, who had been quiet and still for a while, and pulled her in his arms.

“Those cramps going away, huh?”

“Yeah”, sighed Jyn. “It’s weird, actually: something soothing floods your body once the cramps pass. You end up feeling better than you did in the first place – like a natural high”. Cassian laughed out loud.

“You are crazy, Jyn Erso. You know that? You are one crazy, out-of-this-galaxy-fierce, amazing thing”.  

Jyn felt herself blush – not even she was used to this kind of talk from Captain Andor.

“You know”, she said suddenly, “there’s something I haven’t told you”.  

“What?”, asked Cassian with a suspicious half-smile.

“I never stopped thinking about you, ever since that elevator ride in Scarif”.

“What do you mean?”

Her expression had turned serious. “I know we were in the middle of a suicide mission, that many were dying around us, that I had just lost my father and you had just lost Kaytoo, that you and me were about to die. It’s probably wrong, but amidst everything that was going on, and everything that was going through my head, I wanted you so bad in that elevator. And it didn’t stop. Not in the Medbay while we were recovering, not during the funeral ceremonies, not during those strange first weeks after I enlisted, not after Bodhi and I got together… By the time you came with us to my quarters that night, I’d thought of you so much – I’d stared at you so much, that I was sure you’d caught on and thought I was a crazy person”.

Cassian was biting his lip.

“Yeah. I’d caught on”, he confessed. “It made me so hard, too. Kind of like now”. He grabbed her hand and put it on his crotch. Jyn gasped.

“You up for this, baby?”, he asked softly, nodding towards her lower abdomen.

“Yeah”.

“Thank heavens”, he laughed before grabbing the back of her neck to kiss her.