Unforgivable

New Chapter for you!! And I have to send HUGE bucketloads (or should that be rum barrel loads?) of thanks and smooches to all my lovely reviewers, here and at Tasty Pirates. You keep me inspired, and your kind words give me a warm fuzzy feeling inside...THANK YOU!!!!! XXXX Oh and Freelke?? There, there, hun! *pets Freelke* I love that you love my story so much, and I promise I will update for you as often as I can!!!!
On with the story...hope you enjoy!!!


She burst into the room and closed the distance between them in quick angry strides.

“You didn’t come after me. Why? I might have been attacked – murdered, even!”

Jack uncurled himself slowly from the chair. Having spent her absence in brooding contemplation of the very same question, his defence was instinctive.

The dark eyes gleamed dangerously.

“Evidently ye weren’t though, darlin’. Too bloody noisy t’be a ghost.”

He gestured to the sheet wrapped around his hips.

“You’ve no objection to me wanderin’ round this den of iniquity dressed this way then? I’ve nothin’ else dry enough to wear, aside from me boots and hat. And unless I’m mistaken, ye expressed a desire for me t’stay here and sulk. Didn’t want me along. Far be it from me to go against a lady’s wishes.”

Elizabeth’s hand flew up and he caught her wrist just in time, jerking his head out of range.


“Bastard!” she hissed. “You’ve never put another’s wishes before your own!”

“No?”

His smirk was pure evil.

“Seems to me I have though, once or twice. To me own detriment. To me own death, in point of fact. Remember that one, dearie? You, me and the great slimy beastie?”

She blanched.

“I didn’t –“she began, then fell against him, and his heart settled somewhere around his boots as she began to sob.


The dull, gnawing ache of guilt and disappointment – a constant, unwelcome companion of late -sharpened to a deep and searing pain. Jack swallowed hard, lips clamped tightly together as he fought the urge to bawl along with her.

By the time he could trust himself to speak again, the heart-wrenching tears had given way to small, hiccupping sobs.

“Bed,” he croaked, and she raised her head to look at him quizzically.

“Erm…sit on it. An’ then ye’ll tell me. All of it.”

She obeyed, watching through sore and swollen eyes as he bent to retrieve a half-empty rum bottle from beneath the chair.

“Drink,” he ordered, taking a healthy swig himself. “Make y’feel better.”

“I doubt it,” she sniffed, but took the bottle anyway.

When she had taken several swallows of the stuff he sank down beside her, draped an arm around her shoulders and sighed.

“C’mon then. Out wiv it.”

“It’s…I…”

“Elizabeth! Will ye just –”

He stopped abruptly. Taking out the frustration and anger he felt towards himself on the woman he loved was not a good plan. Probably the worst of all plans, in fact.

Drawing in a deep, calming breath, he tried again.

“If it’s not meant to be, we’ll just havta get used to it. There’s still me an’ you, savvy? Never thought there’d ever be an ‘us’ but we got there in the end an’ we’ll get through this too. We’ll be fine, luv. No worries.”

“Stop it!” she wailed, startling them both. “I don’t want to get used to it! Stop acting as if it doesn’t matter!”

Pain flared in his dark eyes and she flinched, wishing she could bite the words back.

“I’m sorry. That was unfair. It’s just that – it’s me. It’s my fault.”

“Beg pardon?”

“I said it’s my fault! I’m the one to blame…not you.”

He was silent, but she felt the subtle shift as he pulled away, very slightly.

“No need for you to fret anymore,” she spat bitterly. “Your legend is intact. The great Captain Sparrow’s virility is no longer in question!”

Jack groaned.

“Elizabeth,” he started – then realised he had no idea what to say. Instead he pressed her head against his shoulder, suddenly afraid to let her see his face.

Her admission had filled him with profound and overwhelming relief. That, he allowed, was forgivable - an understandable first reaction. But the quick flash of resentment that had followed was not, and he hated himself for it.

“You’re angry with me,” she stated flatly.

“No. Not with you.”

“Liar. You’re angry and disappointed. I know you are, Jack, and you’ve every right to be. I felt the same way, before. When we thought it was you.”

Her words stung, but he felt a littler easier all the same. Perhaps he was not quite so much of a monster as he’d feared, then. Certainly not enough of one to admit his own resentment to her, anyway.

“M’disappointed. I’ll own that much. But not with you. I swear it.”

“How could you not be? I’ve failed you. Let you down.”

“Enough!”

Seizing her by the shoulders, he pushed her away from him and glared fiercely.

“No Lizzie! No, no, a thousand times no. Ye haven’t, ye didn’t, and ye never could!
How can ye even think such a thing?”

She stared at him, a little frightened by his outburst, until he leant towards her to end the debate in the only way that seemed fitting.

Her skin tasted of salt and tears, her mouth of rum. His kisses were frantic, desperate – and she responded in kind, accepting his unspoken apology and offering her own.

When he released her she met his anxious look with a tiny, tremulous smile. He returned it, then settled her comfortably against his chest.

“Now, then. Tell me. All of it.”

Elizabeth sighed.

“I asked one of the – the ladies, downstairs,” she began. “Told her I had need of a midwife. She thought I was – she assumed I wanted to get rid – ”

“S’alright, darlin’. You can skip that part. Ye found the midwife. What did she tell ye?”

“I explained we’d been trying for a child. Asked what we should do, besides the obvious. She asked a lot of questions, about how often we tried and what happened at the end. Where you - when you – well, you know.”

Jack snorted. “Should think even the daftest deckhand could’ve figured that out fer himself. Ye did tell her ye don’t share yer bed wiv a blitherin’ idiot, I hope?”

“Naturally. In fact I told her you were rather wonderful at it, and an excellent tutor. She laughed. Asked if I minded you bedding me so much. I was surprised, asked her why on earth any woman would mind being made to feel that way. And then she explained how lucky I was to have you. Said that most females found it a fairly one-sided experience, on the whole.”

“Did I mention lately just how much I worship an’ adore ye, Lizzie Sparrow?”

He dropped a kiss on the top of her head, arms tightening around her.

“What else did she say?”

“Jack! I didn’t actually go there to brag about your prowess –”

“Not that! Be more’n happy to hear it later, mind. I meant about the - about you.”

“Oh yes. Me. Well then she asked about my – about my courses.”

“She did?”

“Wanted to know if they came still, each month. I told her they didn’t.”

“They don’t? But I thought – I distinctly remember, the last time ye were…”

“Oh I still have them. Just not every month. The last time was over six weeks ago, and then I only bled a little.”

“Ah. And that’s a problem, is it?”

“Apparently. She said – she told me I’d likely never get with child because my body wasn’t readying itself properly.”

Jack frowned.

“And there’s nothing to be done? No remedy for it?”

“I –I don’t know. I was so upset, I didn’t stay to listen. But I doubt it. She looked so pitying, when she told me. I couldn’t bear it, Jack, I couldn’t bear her pity!”

“So we’ll go back. Find out if there’s aught to be done.”

“And if there isn’t?”

“Then we’ll deal with it. Can’t see as we’ve much choice in the matter. At least we’ll know we’ve tried though. Not ready to give up just yet.”

“Both of us? You promise?”

“I promise. Should never’ve let ye go by yerself in the first place. Sorry fer that - couldn’t face it. Still a coward at heart, m’afraid. We’ll seek her out, first thing in the mornin’. But first y’need some rest. We both do.”

He swung his legs up onto the mattress and removed the sheet he wore with one swift tug.

“Get those clothes off. Have a need to hold ye, Lizzie. Just you and me, nothing between us.”

“Jack, I…”

“Just want t’hold you, darlin’. Nothin’ else. Here –”

Reaching out, his fingers found the buttons of her shirt and she sat, demure as a child, while he undressed her.

“Much more better,” he said, when she was as naked as him. “C’mere.”

She crawled up beside him, and he pulled her into his arms.

Moments later something stirred and shifted against her belly. He eased his hips away from hers with an apologetic shrug.

“Sorry, luv, can’t help it. Get some sleep now, an’ try not to worry. It’ll all work out in the end. One way or another.”

He yawned, one hand ghosting over her hair, soothing them both towards sleep.


Elizabeth woke some interminable time later, too edgy and fretful to sleep deeply despite her exhaustion. The room was flooded with moonlight, and another sharp jab of Jack’s elbow in her ribs told her what had disturbed her fitful slumber.

“It’d better be me you’re dreaming of!” she grumbled, shifting sideways as his arm jerked again. He muttered in his sleep, an abstracted smile fleeting across his face.

The tanned slender fingers flexed, tightened, and his hips jerked again as he thrust into his curled fist.

She caught her breath, heat pooling in her belly at this unconscious and unadulterated display. Totally unaware of his audience, she knew that if he were to wake there would be no shame or embarrassment at being caught. Indeed, pleasuring himself under her gaze was an act that would – and quite frequently had – greatly enhance his experience.

There was a game he liked to play sometimes. One that she found intensely erotic and left her shaking with frustrated desire.

He would sprawl on the bunk or chair, using one hand to imprison both of hers. Hold her gaze as he rubbed himself through the rough linen of his breeches, telling her in a low, seductive growl of all the thoughts passing through his mind, all the things he wanted to do to her.

Finally, he’d allow her to let him free. Then capture her hands again and urge her to watch as he stroked and caressed himself, until they were both shaking and breathless.

He’d make it last, prolonging the pleasure until he could stand it no more. Only then would he permit her to touch him, when the lightest stroke of her fingers was enough to tip him over the edge - to make him spill his release into their cupped hands, her name a long, low moan on his lips.

Afterwards, there would be slow lazy kisses – and whispered entreaties for her to follow his example. It was an act she still shied away from, felt too self-conscious to perform under his expert gaze - and he would relent, in the end, using fingers and mouth to end her torment.

Watching him now, Elizabeth was filled with a sudden and overwhelming certainty.

She needed to share this with him. Needed the comfort and reassurance of a physical connection. Needed the safety of his arms around her, holding her as close as two people could get. Needed the delicious rush of heat that came when he spent inside her, the intense closeness and intimacy of that final moment.

Gently she tugged his hand away and replaced it with her own.

Jack grunted softly at the interruption. He shifted on the mattress, jerking his hips impatiently as he tried to rub himself against her fingers.

“Shhh!” she soothed. He was slick and hot beneath her touch, throbbing and swollen with want. “It must be a very good dream, my love…”

Her fist slid over him in a firm, fast rhythm, creating the friction he craved.

The groans became more urgent, and his back arched off the bed, wetness trickling over her fingers. She stilled, frowning.

“Oh no you don’t! Not yet.”

Abruptly her wrist was seized in a vice-like grip.

“Then don’t – torment - me!”

She glanced up to find a pair of pleading dark brown eyes watching her.

“Jack! I need –”

“Quick, then!” he hissed, and rolled towards her. His erection prodded her belly, then her groin, smearing moisture on her skin. Jack groaned in frustration.

“Help - can’t….”

“Wait!”

Elizabeth curled one leg over his hip and shifted into a better position.

“Is that bet…Ahhhh!”

“Ahhhh!” he agreed, fingers digging into her hip as he drew her hard against him, burying himself even deeper.

For a long moment he clung to her, not daring to move. Then he risked a tentative thrust.

“Ohhh…Uhhh… too good!”

He held himself very still, quivering with effort.

“Just need…a minute…”

“No. Now.”

She rocked her hips against him - once, twice, again.

“Don’t…Can’t …!” he whimpered. “Coming…”

“That’s the general idea,” she confirmed, and clenched her muscles around him.

A great shudder ran through him, and a second later it began. She held his straining body close as heat and wetness erupted deep inside, filling her with warmth and a sense of peace that no other sensation could bring.

For those brief moments of release he was totally and utterly vulnerable, his trust in her absolute – a gift she cherished and desperately needed, tonight.

“Stay in me,” she whispered, when he had no more left to give and lay sated and drowsy in her embrace. “I want to fall asleep like this, with you still inside me.”

He answered with a slow, sleepy smile, his eyes already drifting shut.

Elizabeth stroked rough braids and silky soft hair away from his face. The moonlight bathed him in an ethereal light, accentuating his fey beauty, the seductive curve of his lips, the dark smudges of kohl on his lids, the high curve of a cheekbone.

He had given her his heart, promised her a future at his side. She knew he’d shared more of himself with her than with any other -yet still he retained an air of mystery. Jack Sparrow was an exotic enigma that she would never truly solve – and she loved him with a ferocity that almost frightened her.

“I will give you a child, Jack. I promise.”

He smiled a little in his sleep, and she smiled back, brushing her lips against his in a feather-light kiss.

She shifted a little, and felt fresh warmth trickle down her thigh to soak into the mattress. There was no urgency or burning passion in their connection now, but a profound comfort in the knowledge that he was still a part of her, that they were still physically joined.

Finally she felt safe, felt at peace. The agony of the past few hours faded away, and the uncertainties that morning would surely bring became a distant horizon which had no meaning here, could never hurt them.

Elizabeth slid one hand between them; let it rest against his chest.

“As long as we’ve got each other we’ll be fine,” she whispered. “You’re right. I love you, Jack.”

And she followed him into sleep at last, with their bodies still joined and the slow, rhythmic beat of his heart constant and steady beneath her palm.