A Marriage To A Fine Woman

Making Amends

           
James paced in his study rapidly from his desk, to his window back to his
desk back to the large window again. He’d been doing so constantly for the
past several hours with absolutely no stopping. He couldn’t sit down, he
couldn’t stand up, he certainly couldn’t lie down, and he couldn’t leave
the house. He was far too anxious to do so. And the added torment of hearing
Aislinn’s blood curdling screams of pain when she began to deliver was enough
to drive him mad.

           
Finally one of the maids who had been upstairs assisting came down into
the study. James immediately rushed over wanting to hear whatever she said,
hungry for the smallest bit of news. The maid smiled, “It’s a boy. A healthy
baby boy!” She announced. James eyes went wide as it took a moment for what
she said to sink in before a smile swept his face. It all seemed so surreal like
a dream.

           
“Aislinn? how is she? Is she alright?” He asked.

           
“The doctor is with her now, she’s exhausted poor thing.” James
looked towards the stairs outside the door before the maid gave a nod that it
was all right to go up now. He didn’t need to be told twice and instantly
headed up the stairs.

           
Giving a gentle knock before entering into the room, he opened the door
and stepped inside. He saw the doctor washing up in the water basin and putting
his things away. Moving in closer he found Aislinn tucked away in clean linens
that the servants had already changed and a clean nightgown. She did look very
pale and had dark circles around her eyes.

           
James walked closer to the doctor and kept his voice at a quiet whisper,
“How is she?” He asked still looking at her.

           
“She’s sleeping now. She’s very worn out; it was a tough delivery
for her. Between letting herself get run down and her small frame in comparison
to the size of the child, it was a lot of work bringing your son into this
world. But she came through it with flying colors Admiral.” The Doctor
reported. “She needs rest.”

           
“She shall have it. All she needs and more.” He promised.

           
The doctor finished putting his things away and picked up his case
starting to walk out but paused, “Be gentle with her Admiral.” He said
carefully offering a small piece of advice. “She’s been through a lot this
week.”

           
James sighed and gave a nod and the doctor continued on his way closing
the door gently behind him so as not to make any noise to disturb Aislinn.
Norrington still felt like a complete ass for the way he had acted before. She
had been through a lot. Husband or not, it was he who was supposed to be the
older and the wiser, who was to care for her and look after her as he promised
her father when he made the marriage agreement. As he promised her in their
wedding vows. He had no right whatsoever to put more on her like he had done
when she was so obviously crushed by her father’s horrible fate. It wasn’t
right.

           
Just then, the door of the room opened up and one of the maids came in
carefully carrying a bundle in her arms, wrapped in a soft warm white blanket.
She walked over to the Admiral and stood beside him. James could hardly stand
another moment of suspense and he reached up carefully moving the blanket away
from the newborns face.

           
The small one still had a red color to his skin, although he was clean
now from head to toe. His eyes were closed and his hands rested nest to his
face. The Admiral starred at the baby in awe and amazement. His fingers were so
tiny, but so flawless. He was absolutely perfect. The maid leaned closer and
slid the bundle into James arms, and Norrington couldn’t help but take him
eagerly. “My son.” He whispered his eyes bright as he was still lost in
wonder and the little miracle in his arms.

           
The maid smiled stepping back a bit. James looked towards Aislinn and
then back at the baby he held. Moving over to the bed he sat down next to her.
The movement of the mattress caused Aislinn’s eyes to open and she looked up
at him. Pushing herself up a bit, the maid quickly moved around the other side
of the bed to help Aislinn. Putting some pillows behind her back to help her sit
up.

           
James leaned towards her and carefully put their child in Aislinn’s
arms, wrapping them securely around the bundle, before sliding closer and
wrapping his arm around her looking down at their son. “He’s beautiful
Aislinn.” He said with a smile kissing her forehead. “I’m so proud of
you.”

           
Aislinn studied the small one in her arms, a few moments before reaching
up and touching his hand. The baby yawned and wrapped his small fingers around
Aislinn’s. For the first time, in a long time, a bright smile swept
Aislinn’s face. That spark of childlike curiosity and wonder filling her eyes
once again. He really was perfect.

           
“What will you call him?” She asked making sure that the baby was
safe in her arms.

           
“Well . . .” He thought for a moment, “I think WE should name him
for your father.” Aislinn turned her eyes up looking at James, “Don’t
you?” He asked. She seemed a bit stunned for a moment, but then looked back
down at the baby.

           
“Michael.” She said with a soft smile, giving her fathers middle name
as their sons first. “We should call him Michael . . . James Norrington.”
She said gently.

           
With a few soft words between them, it seemed as though nothing else
needed to be said. The forgiveness that was needed between them had been given.
James wrapped his arms around them both smiling proudly as they gazed down at
the newest addition to their family.

 

Making Changes

           
Aislinn took to being a mother immediately, as James suspected she would.
The way she was with those boys on the ship that she nursed back to health, and
the way her heart was always eager to help every small living creature that
seemed as though it needed a home, of course she had a loving and caring way
about her that would make her a natural mother.

           
Yet, as a few weeks went by, James found himself slightly jealous of
Aislinn’s attentions. It was as if he suddenly didn’t exist at all. When he
reached for her during the night, he found that she was hard asleep from her
watchful attentiveness with Michael during the day. When he was home and she was
awake, all of her time was spent with the baby, every waking moment, regardless
of wither he was there or not.

           
He was finding himself somewhat distraught at the quandary that he found
himself facing. They had been married for three years now, and she had just
turned 18 not two weeks ago. The more he thought about the issue, and the longer
he went unnoticed in his own household, the more agitated and irritable he
became.

           
One afternoon, he was sitting in Lord Beckett’s office signing some
requisition orders and other documents that required his signature when his grip
on the quill was so tight and pressed so hard against the parchment that it
snapped in two. James clinched his jaw and threw it down reaching out and
grasping another one roughly as he dipped it in the inkpot. However, five
minutes didn’t go by before this quill snapped in half as well. Throwing that
one down a bit more forcefully he reached out grasping another.

           
“Should I have a requisition drawn up for a few crates quills while
we’re here?” Beckett said having seeing the way he had been acting for the
past several days. James sighed as he paused his writing holding the quill
between his fingers. “Obviously there is something troubling you a great deal.
Perhaps it would help you keep your mind on your work and ease your mind if you
were to simply get it off your chest.”

           
In all complete honesty, James would rather swallow hot coals and broken
glass then talk to Beckett about anything besides the business matters that
talking to him was absolutely necessary for. However, he was frustrated enough
right at this moment to try to ease his growing hostility in any way possible.

           
“I can’t imagine why I’m so agitated. I should be very happy and
content that Aislinn is a natural at motherhood.” He said just saying it
allowed. “Her attentiveness to Michael is absolutely commendable . . .” He
stopped there not sure if he should go on, or even if he could.

           
“But she’s had no time for you whatsoever, hmmm?” Beckett said
finishing his thought for him. James half smiled wondering if he was that
transparent. Cutler put his own quill down, “The answer to your problem is
quiet simple James. Hire a nanny for Michael so that she will have time to spend
with you.” 

           
For some reason, the thought of hiring a nursemaid had never even crossed
his mind until this moment. But it did seem like a perfectly logical and simple
solution. With someone to care for Michael’s needs at least part of the time,
Aislinn would have plenty of time to spend with him when he was at home and
wouldn’t be so exhausted at night that a line of cannonade wouldn’t wake
her.

           
A nursemaid, why didn’t he think of that!

 

Misunderstandings

           
Aislinn sat in the Library next to the window, looking down at the floor.
All the joy and life seemed to be completely drained from her body and a look of
utter sadness was on her face.

           
Two days had gone by since the nanny was hired to look after Michael, and
Aislinn certainly did find that she had quite a large amount of time on her
hands. Time she didn’t know what to do with.

           
The door of the Library opened and James entered having just gotten home
from the military offices just a few moments earlier. He was pleased to see
Aislinn alone for the first time in what seemed like an eternity and was anxious
to spend some time with his wife. “Hello darling.” He said walking over and
taking her hands in his kissing her cheek.

           
She was quiet and didn’t say anything as he sat down next to her still
holding her hands in his. “You look absolutely lovely this evening.” Her
eyes moved back down to the floor as she seemed a bit nervous for some reason,
and uneasy. Her lip trembled slightly but she quickly bit it.

           
James was hardly expecting to see her like this and paused feeling his
own good mood dim slightly. “Darling? What’s wrong?” He asked holding her
hands a little tighter not sure why she seemed so upset.

           
Aislinn took a nervous breath as if trying to build up her courage before
she answered, “Did . . . did I do something wrong?” She said looking up at
James. Norrington wasn’t sure what she meant, and couldn’t really think of
anything that she could have possibly done amiss.

           
“Wrong? What do you mean?” He said seeing her lip start to quiver
more as tears filled her eyes.

           
“There’s another woman caring for our son . . . why would there be if
I’ve not done something improperly. If I wasn’t . . . looking after him as I
should? Am I not a good mother?” She said hardly able to form the words
becoming more upset. Norrington reached into his pocket and brought out his
handkerchief quickly drying her tears.

           
“No darling, not at all.” He said smoothing the stray strand of hair
back from her face. “You are a wonderful mother, a WONDERFUL mother to
Michael.” He said taking her hands again. “The nursemaid is simply someone
to help you care for him, that’s all. She isn’t taking your place, I promise
you. She’s another servant, like our maids, and our housekeeper.” He said
explaining the best way he could.

           
“But . . . isn’t a mother suppose to look after her child’s
needs?” She said a bit confused. “I must not have been doing something
correctly if you thought I needed assistance.”

           
Well here was something he was hardly expecting to have to face. There
had to be some way of getting around simply saying that he was jealous of her
time and attentions so he brought in help. “It’s simply a practice of our
class darling. To have a nursemaid or nanny help you with your children, to look
after them when you are not able to.” She started to say something else but he
quickly continued not allowing her to speak, “If you are unsure then you may
ask the other wives and mothers of the officers of the fleet. I’m certain they
would be more then happy to tell you they had help as well.”

           
Aislinn still seemed quite unsure about the whole affair and James was
feeling somewhat like a heel that he found himself to be a bit jealous of his
newborn son. However he desperately wanted a bit of attention himself and
arrangements had already been made.

Nighttimes

           
James found himself sitting on the far side of his bed, starring across
at Aislinn who had just removed herself from their bed. “What is it?” He
asked a little confused by her actions when he had started to lavish affection
upon her. “Aislinn darling, what’s wrong?”

           
“We have our child.” She stated. “Michael is newly born.” She
said as though reminding him not sure if he had forgotten already.

           
Norrington looked from left to right. “Yes . . . of course we do, I
know.” He said not sure why she seemed to need to remind him. “But what does
that have to do with . . .”

           
“There is no need for such activity anymore. We have our son.” She
said seriously. Norrington just starred at her, wide-eyed, not certain if he had
heard her correctly. Was she serious? She couldn’t be serious.

           
“Of course there is need for it, there is all sorts of need for it.”
He said looking at her having a million thoughts try to push their way out at
once. “You are my wife, we’re man and wife . . . it’s a privilege . .
.intimacy is our privilege.”

           
“But Michael . . . .” She started to say but James quickly jumped
back in.

           
“Michael is in his room with the nursemaid. He is cared for, there is
no need to worry for him.” He said. Aislinn was quiet for a moment and
Norrington still starred at her a bit in dismay.

           
“You want more children.” She said quietly. “Must we have another
so quickly?” She said looking up at him.

           
“No . . . I mean, of course I want more children, but not right at this
moment. After all this time you can’t possibly think that children is the only
reason we lay together each night.” He stood up walking around the bed to find
her back up away from him a few steps. “Aislinn . . . my God, this isn’t a
very humorous jest.” He said.

           
“Please, James. I’m not ready to have another baby. I’ve only just
begun to come familiar with Michael. I have so much more to learn before having
another.” Norrington shook his head and started to step towards her again
reaching out to take her into his arms.

           
“Darling, you needn’t have such a worry. I will be careful, I promise
you.” He said wrapping his arms around her waist pulling her against him as he
kissed her neck. However Aislinn nervously pressed her hands against his chest
pushing back, obviously very uncomfortable with the situation. She turned away
wrapping her arms across her chest.

           
James was dumbstruck. This was something that he thought they had gotten
past. That they didn’t have to deal with anymore, and they hadn’t needed to
for a long time, and he had been glad to be rid of it. He wrapped his arms
around her pulling her against him, “Darling there is no need for this. There
is nothing to be afraid of, . . . you certainly can’t be afraid of me . . .
you know I won’t hurt you, I would never.” He said gently into her ear
embracing her tighter against him.

           
Aislinn closed her eyes and took a breath, as if trying to calm herself
down and cooperate with him, feeling his lips caress her neck and shoulder.
However, when his affections became slightly more aggressive, she simply
couldn’t stand it. Shaking her head she struggled pushing his arms away from
her. “No, James No!”  She
shouted standing back from him breathing heavily.

           
Norrington stood there starring at her, completely at a loss for words.
“Aislinn . . .” He said starring at her in utter disbelief. “I don’t
understand.” He said, seeming to not be able to get through to her. “Why are
you so frightened all of a sudden?” He said approaching her once again.
“What made you so terrified of our intimacy? If it’s the worry of having
another baby, don’t. I’ve told you I shall be careful until we’re ready to
have another. Is it the pain of childbirth that’s still fresh in your mind?”
He inquired.

           
Aislinn wrapped her arms around herself keeping her eyes turned away from
him. They had been married for several years now, and she was a young woman no
longer a child. No longer completely ignorant to the ways of the world as she
once was. Even though he did his best to keep her protected from anything to
harsh, things manage to slip through his grasp and attack her every now and
again that could not be helped. Her delivery was difficult only because their
baby was so large, and it must have been like trying to expel a gun powder
barrel from ones body. “Everything.” She whispered.

           
James shook his head, “You mustn’t be afraid, darling.” He said
reaching out and cupping her face in his hand. “There is nothing to fear. Is
Michael not worth the world to you in every possible way?” He asked.

           
Aislinn looked up at him hearing his question, “Of course he is. I love
him with every fiber of my being.” She answered not understanding how he could
even ask such a question.

           
“He’s part of us, Aislinn. You and I. Together we brought him into
this world . . .and of course I hope to one day bring more . . . however, it
doesn’t need to be now. Not this night.” Aislinn still didn’t look as
though she was being convinced. James attempted to explain himself better.
“Aislinn . . . I want you. I don’t consider you simply a conduit for my
family line, a vessel through which my children are to be born and nothing more.
I want you because you are my wife, I want to make love to you.”

           
He whispered combing his fingers gently through her hair. Aislinn turned
her eyes away from his listening to his words as he spoke. For an instant,
Norrington though she might have heard him. However whatever glint he thought he
saw disappeared and she shook her head. “I’m sorry.”

           
Then without another moment of hesitation she quickly turned and ran out
of their bedchamber leaving James with his jaw open and still at a loss.

Compromises

           
Later that night, James lie in bed having finally fallen asleep after his
mind was still confused and feeling a bit hurt of rejection. He’d thought they
had come to a point where it was without question that they loved each other.
But now questions started to plague his mind and trouble him terribly.

           
Well after midnight, the door of their bedchamber opened slowly, then
closed quietly after another moment. The click of the door was just enough for
James eyes to open at the sound. When he lifted his head he saw Aislinn making
her way towards the bed. Opening the covers she slipped in between them and slid
over next to James wrapping her arm around him resting her head on his bare
chest.

           
This was something he wasn’t expecting. He thought that she would spend
the next week at least in one of their spare rooms, avoiding him at all costs.
“Can you forgive me?” She whispered holding onto him listening to his heart
beat. James didn’t know what to say. Aislinn lifted her head and looked up at
him a moment. Then she moved carefully and placed a deep kiss to his lips. James
looked into her eyes when the kiss parted seeing that the defiance that she had
let shone through them earlier was gone. He touched her hair and gently smoothed
it back from her face. Relenting to her cry for forgiveness, he wrapped his arm
around her shoulders. Aislinn moved to lay her head back down on his chest, and
Norrington held her close.

           
“Aislinn.” He said with a sigh, “If you truly are so terrified of
having more children . . . then I suppose we can figure out a way to, not have
relations . . . for a while at . .” Just then Aislinn raised her head and
pressed her lips against his kissing him deeply. Needless to say James was a
little surprised. He looked into her eyes seeing the way she looked at him and
was slightly confused. “Aislinn?” He asked not sure if she was even the same
girl that had left the bedchamber in a whirlwind earlier that evening.

           
The look in her eyes told him that she had relented her position that she
had earlier on the matter and that she wouldn’t run away from him. Not this
time. James touched her cheek with his fingertips feeling his breath deepen at
her warmth and softness. He slid his fingers through her hair and pulled her
closer as their lips met in another warm and tender kiss.

           
After a moment, with one swift move, James wrapped his arm around her and
turned her over to lay beneath him as he kissed her deeper still, he held her in
his strong embrace.