Freak is an Ugly Word

Mind numbing fear paralyzed Jessica. She stood unmoving, with breath coming in short sharp intakes and releases, borderline hyperventilating. Only her eyes seemed to have the ability to move and they searched out the comfort of Greg’s face. When she found it, concern flashed across his features and as quickly as it was there, it was gone. It was replaced by a mask of emotionless so complete that even his bright hazel eyes were blank and desolate. Jessica tried to imitate that mask but was unable. No matter how hard she tried her trepidation showed.
A warm comforting arm crossed her shoulders and pulled her close to an equally warm and comforting body. Glancing up, Harley’s face came into view. The older woman gave the girl a reassuring smile as she covertly led her backward toward Selina and Croc, who had changed his posistion when Andy entered the room. The scantly clad woman wrapped her free arm around Jessica’s waist and pulled her close enough that he head was forced to lay upon her chest. Though her exterior was that of pure calm, Jessica could not help but hear the quick racing of Harley’s heart and the small tremors in her body.
Good old Harley, always trying to lend a helping hand. The woman was like the mother Jessica never had, albeit she was too young to actually be her mother. Harley had seen it as her duty to protect the younger and weaker girl, leaving Jessica to feel a pang of guilt. Jessica had left without a word, never looking back, but it appeared that the woman would not abandon her and held no ill will toward the girl. Bob had told Mike what had transpired, and Mike, not having the ability to keep anything from the woman, had told her. She understood why the girl had left. Would have done so if she had been in the same position as Jessica, she could not condemn the girl.
Seeing as the situation bode trouble, the patrons of the bar started to file out of the room one by one at a leisurely pace. Some hoped to see a snippet of what was to transpire, but did not want to be involved in such doings. Their eyes never left the scene before them as they walked out of the door much like the passer bys of an automobile accident on the highway. Curiosity and fascination of bloodshed had been the undoing of many a men and none of them wanted to feel the repercussions that would be offered to them.
With deliberately slow steps, Andy walked to the group. A malicious smirk appeared on his face when he spotted Jessica and she shivered involuntarily. “So,” he started, walking toward her, “you decided to come back.” With a gesture of his hand, he ordered Harley to away from Jessica. Much to the girl’s surprise, she left. Confusion and horror swept across Jessica. Never once had Harley obeyed the man, why had she chosen to do so then? “I knew you’d come back,” he informed her. “Just couldn’t get enough of me, could ya?”
“Not even in your sickest dreams would I come back here for you.” With the heat of anger licking at her core, Jessica felt the fear dampen. Her hands were still held small tremors as she folded them across her chest. Oh, how much she wanted to rip that cocky smirk right off of his face. “There would only be one reason why I would come back and see you.”
“And what is that?” he asked sure of himself.
Sweet and innocent were her smile and voice. “To drive a rusty knife through your heart and give it a little twist.”
“Hm, I would think you’d want to stab me in the back.”
“Oh no!” she exclaimed. “I don’t stab people in the back, that’s your job.”
The smirk fell from Andy’s face but was quickly replaced by another one. “Then, what do you consider what you did to poor Croc behind you?”
Jessica shifted uncomfortably. He had her there. Not only had she stabbed Croc in the back, but ripped his heart out and stomped on the bleeding thing right before his eyes. Jessica straightened. “You’re right,” she openly admitted. “I did stab him in the back, but I had my reasons. You just stab people in the back because you’re a coward and can’t man up to anything. The same reason why you prey on weak women. They can’t stand up to you so you use and abuse them. Does it make you feel powerful? Does it make you feel more like a man?” Anger boiled over her making her braver than she had ever been toward the man and she stepped closer to him. “I have news for you, Andy; you’ll never truly be a man. You’re nothing but a sick pervert and a rapist. One day all that you’ve done will come back and bite you on the ass. I just pray that I’m there to see it.”
Andy’s normally cold eyes hardened to that of steel. “I did nothing of the sort!” he hissed at her. “You came willingly every time.”
“So willing, I kicked and screamed the whole way.”
A hard backhand and Jessica fell onto the floor on hands and knees. “You ungrateful bitch,” spat Andy. “After all I have done for you, you treat me like this.”
It had gone far enough. Greg felt like it was time for him to jump in. In no possible way was he just going to stand idly by and watch Jessica get hurt. “All you’ve done for her!” he roared. In the nearly empty room his voice reverberated across the walls. Andy’s attention was quickly diverted from Jessica to Greg. He turned and fully faced the man whose face was contorted in disgust and rage. “It’s your fault she was still a prostitute,” he did not use the word whore, it left a bed taste on his tongue, “to begin with.
“I had the privilege to speak to her father last night. He told me everything about you. His debt had been paid off long ago. You wanted her so you convinced the mob to keep her, and even threatened to send her father pieces of her if he tried to contact her. And after you went through all that trouble, she still chose Croc over you. Must have hit your ego real hard.”
“She chose a freak over me!”
“Freak is an ugly word,” stated Jessica. Slowly she clambered to her feet. Once she was on them, she stood to her full height facing the man. With her right hand she wiped the corner of her mouth and blood came off onto her hand. “Look at that!” she exclaimed. “You made me bleed, Andy. Silly, silly, rabbit that was not a smart thing to do. Now, I have to return the favor.” The blade that had previously clattered to the floor was in her hand. She gently placed the tip of the blade on his abdomen and left it there unmoving. There was something she was waiting for. A queue.
A confident smirk made its appearance on Andy’s face. She would not do it. The Princess he knew was too weak to even raise a hand to defend herself. What he failed to realize was that she was no longer Princess. Kind, gentle, and weak Princess was gone, replaced with Jessica. Jessica, a mix between Princess and Evil Princess. No longer was there a border in her mind separating the two. She had viciously ripped that fence down and embraced the madness that came with it. The dark side of her. The piece of herself she had been missing for five years. Hidden behind her own fear. But no more! No more will she be the sniveling coward that she was just a few short months ago.
“And what do you think you’re going to do with that?” inquired Andy the smirk still in play on his face. There is was! Her queue. Silence on the set. Enter stage left. And action!
When she looked into his cold eyes, Andy shivered. A sweet smile was on her face, but was spoiled by the irrevocable madness in her eyes. An animalistic hunger shown brightly and intensely in those storm clouds against his cold dead ones. “This,” she answered pushing the blade slowly into his flesh. She was shocked at how little pressure she had to apply to the object for it to slide so easily into his soft skin when no bones got in the way.
Once the fabric of his cotton white shirt touched her skin and the blade could go no further, she gave her wrist a little twist. Eyes wide with shock and terror, Andy gazed down at her. Pulling out the knife she moved it higher on his abdomen and to the right. With another easy push, it sank into his flesh. She repeated the process many times over.
The onlookers stared on, not being able to look away. It was like a train wreck, horrible but one just could not turn their heads. Selina found herself in Croc’s arms trying her best not to gaze at the scene before her. Harley had found her way to Mike behind the bar, and buried her face into his neck as he held her tightly whispering meaningless words of comfort in her ear. Bellows and his friends had left, getting the man to the hospital. And Greg leaned leisurely against the bar watching Jessica exact her revenge with a smile on his face. Joker had not kept him around for his good looks.
The pain was intense for Andy and he hunched over leaning against Jessica heavily. Though much smaller than the man, she found the strength to hold him up. He nuzzled his face into her neck and she heard his small sobs, and they brought a smile to her face. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her closer to him, gripping the material to her black fleece sweater tightly. Never once did he push her away or attempt to stop her. Just let her continue her slow and arduous assault on him.
His warm lips, wet from the tears that he spilled, kissed her neck. “I always loved you,” he whispered so that only she could hear.
Entangling the fingers of her right hand in his hair she forced him to look at her. “And I always hated you.” She planted her lips against his. As she kissed him, she nonchalantly ran the blade across his throat, opening it. Hot sticky blood poured onto her sweater instantaneously seeping through onto her pale skin. Satisfied that he was dead, Jessica released him and watched as Andy’s corpse fell in a heap onto the floor.
With her hand now limp, the knife fell to the floor. The clattered it ensued echoed across the silent room. Once that died down, the only noise that could be heard were sobs. After glancing around the room, Jessica came to realize that she was the one sobbing. “I killed him,” she managed between breaths. “He’s dead and I’m the one that did it.”
The slim legs that she stood on felt rubbery and were no longer able to contain her weight. She dropped to the floor heavily and a loud crack assaulted the ears of the onlookers. The fall was heavy enough to crack open the thin skin on her knees and blood seeped out freely. Jessica made no move to stop the flow, just stared into the oblivion of her shock.
Pushing himself off of the bar, Greg made his way to her. Once he was before her he knelt down and she instantly gripped the front of his shirt. The warm embrace he wrapped her in was what she needed more than anything at the moment. Soothing words he whispered to her fell on deaf ears but just the sound of his voice alone was calming enough.
“Have the cops been called?” Greg asked to no one in particular.
Mike was the one to answer. “Yes. I called them as soon as it started. They should be here shortly.”
True to Mike’s words the police showed up shortly thereafter. They processed the scene, taking photographs, collecting evidence, and gathering statements. It was then decided by one of the commanders on the scene that everyone would be taken to the station for questioning. Only Jessica and Croc were led out in handcuffs. Jessica because she was obviously the murder and Croc just because they did not like the way he “looked at them”, according to one of the officers.
Through out the entire process, Jessica said not a word. The entirety of her small body had gone numb. Everything seemed to pass by her in a blur. Faces, cars, building, everything was the same to her. Just blurred visions as her mind was unable to register anything. At the station she did everything as if on autopilot. Her hands hung limply as they took her fingerprints, she moved when they took photographs of her when she was told as she sat when they told her to sit. At that moment, if someone had suggested she jump of a bridge she would have done so without second thought. It was not until she was sitting in an interrogation room by herself that her mind slowly started to process things.
The room was white, sickeningly white. White tiled floor, white ceiling and walls. The table and chair that she sat at were of the same gray hue as the two-way mirrors surrounding the room. Only two walls were void of their presence, the wall behind her and the one in front that had a heavy white door. The only splash of color in the entire room was her blood stained hands now cuffed in front of her sitting on top of the table.
A loud groan echoed across the small room as the door before her opened. In walked who she recognized as James Gordon. As he walked toward her his gait was shambling, shoulders were stooped, and his hands hung limply though he held a folder in his hands. His outward appearance was that of a man exhausted from life, but somehow he still had an air of authority around him. It was more evident as he sat down and gazed at her intently with his no nonsense blue eyes.
Gordon sat rigid in his chair and stared Jessica down. He was trying very hard to intimidate her, but it was not working. All the fear she had felt before had diminished into oblivion. There was absolutely nothing that man could say or do that would frighten her. She had vanquished her biggest fear and it felt very relaxing to her. No longer did she have to fear the mob coming after her because Andy would have been the only one to hunt her down and drag her back. She was very gladdened that Greg had talked her into going to Jaded.
As soon as Gordon’s mouth opened to speak to her, Jessica cut him off. “They didn’t have to handcuff Croc,” she informed him. “He wasn’t going to do anything.”
A sigh left Gordon as he ran his hand through his graying dark brown hair. “Many officers have had dealings with Croc before and fear him.”
“So, it doesn’t give them the right to treat his as a criminal. I’m the criminal in this. I killed Andy, not him.”
“You are openly admitting to the murder of Andy Hamilton. This conversation is being recorded and will be used as evidence in your trial. Don’t you want your lawyer present during the interrogation?”
“No!” screamed Jessica slamming her hands against the table. “I want my Daddy! I want my brother! I want Greg! I want my friends! I want what I couldn’t have while he was still alive!” Tears escaped her tightly shut eyes.
“Commissioner,” a voice called from the intercom startling Jessica, “would you please come here?”
After excusing himself, Gordon left the room only to enter the one adjacent to it. Inside were a few of the detectives that were on the scene and a psychologist that they had called from Arkham Asylum. Detective Stephens was the first to speak. “We have her. She openly admitted to the murder, not that we needed that, she’s covered in the blood of the vic.”
“We have established that she was the one who did it, the other witnesses have told us so,” Dr. Michaels said. Dr. Michaels was one of the leading psychologists in Arkham now that Jonathon Crane was a patient there. Light brown hair was neatly combed back, making his already large forehead appear larger, on top of his head and cut just above the ears. His intense light green eyes were slightly too far apart covered by thick glasses that sat against his sloping nose, and his thin dry lips were cracked and in a state of a constant sneer. “We want to know why. Why did she do it and why did they all just sit back and watch?”
Gordon pinched the bridge of his nose at the spot where his glasses sat. “Because he deserved it according to all of them. It seemed the victim was not well liked by anyone and had virtually no friends.” He released the bridge of his nose and shook his head. “They said that he hit her before she repeatedly stabbed him and while she slit his throat she kissed him.”
“Precisely,” Michaels commented. “Now, why? Why would she do that if she hated him so much?”
“Who gives a shit as to why?” one of the detectives snapped. Gordon looked to the man and recognized him as Simmons, a very good but not passionate detective. He got the crime solved but never cared as to the why.
“Because last time she was here she was a frightened little girl,” explained Gordon. “She was afraid of everything and jumped at the slightest noise. Something caused her to snap and kill the man. Don’t you want to know why that is?”
“No, I don’t. We got the little whore and that’s all that matters.”
“That’s my daughter you’re talking about!” roared Detective Jones. He had asked to be present during Jessica’s questioning. Out of the kindness of his heart, Gordon had agreed.
Simmons was on the verge of a retort but Michaels cut him off. “I believe we should let Detective Jones go into the room. She asked for her father, so let’s give him to her and see where the questioning leads. He might be able to get more answers than you can and I would have more insight into her mind.” It was an idea that Gordon did not like, but decided it would be best.
As her father entered the room, Jessica glared at the man so harshly he winced. “Jessie, I,” he started walking to her.
“Shut up!” she snapped at him. “I don’t want to hear your apologies. I just want to know why.” There was no need for her to elaborate. Both knew what question she was asking. Why had he given her up?
Frank Jones sat across the table from his daughter. “They told me that they were going to kill you. Either I give you to them or they kill you.” Reaching across the table he tried to take her blood crusted hand only to have her snatch it back. “I know you think I hate you, but I don’t. All those horrible things I said to you were not directed to you but your mother. She’s the one that I hate, not you. You look so much like her. So beautiful, just like her.” He sighed and rubbed his face. “They were only supposed to use you as collateral until I paid them off. I worked as much overtime as I could and even got a second job at a warehouse where all the money went to them. It only took me a few months to pay them off but they wouldn’t give you back. They told me if I even tried to contact you that they would kill you and send me your head.”
The man was desperate for Jessica to believe him that much she could tell. His bright blue eyes were pleading and glassy with unshed tears. His appearance had changed drastically since the last that she saw him. What was once a body that was vibrant and full of life was now worn and broken. He appeared much older than his forty-eight years of age. Instead of looking almost fifty he looked closer to sixty.
“When your boyfriend came over last night I was glad to hear that you got away from them.” Shock crossed Jessica’s features. Greg had not informed her that he paid a late night visit to her father. “I was planning on visiting you today and telling you everything.”
An ironic smile made its appearance on Jessica’s face. “Looks like that didn’t happen.”
“No, no it didn’t.” Frank paused to gaze at his daughter for a moment. “Why did you do it?”
“After all that he’s done to me, I couldn’t do anything but kill him. He was going to make me go back, I know it!” she insisted. “After all the years of drugs, beatings and rapes from him I wasn’t going to go back. Killing him was my only option and I took it. He deserved it.”
“Jessica, there are other options than killing the man,” Frank chided his daughter.
“Like what?” she questioned. “Arrest him and take him to jail? He’d make bail and he’d get out and come after me. No, there was no other option. I did what I had to do.”
The four men stood behind the glass in the room adjacent to them and watched the conversation take place. None said a word, just watched. As the conversation grew longer, they were learning more and more about the reasoning behind why Jessica had killed the man. So intently they were listening to the conversation that when a knock came from the glass behind them all four jumped.
Greg was in front of the glass trying his hardest to catch their attention. “Hey!” he shouted at them. “I know that you’re in there! Someone’s always in there!”
Stephens pushed the intercom to Greg’s room. “What do you want?” he asked rather harshly.
“You can’t send her to jail. She needs help. You have to send her to Arkham. Her mind has been fucked with and jail would not be the place for her. It would just make her worse.”
“Why should she come to Arkham?” This came from Dr. Michaels.
“She told me her reflection talks to her. Makes her do things. I should know I had to fix two of those things.” He was referring to the time where he had to sew up her arm and the man he had killed after her attack on him.
“Who messed with her mind?” inquired Gordon. It would seem he had been the only one to catch that part.
“Joker.”
That one word made all the men cringe. If it were true, then the young woman would have to go to Arkham. Michaels knew that more than the rest. Though the man had only been in Arkham for two months he had already sent three doctors to the hospital, four ended up in as patients in the asylum and two had committed suicide. With nine doctors gone, Arkham was hurting for more.
After hearing what Michaels had to say about the matter, Gordon quickly agreed. Jessica was going to need some serious psychological help and Arkham was the place to do that, the only place. Knowing that Joker lurked the halls of the place, it unsettled him sending her there, but there really was no other option.
“Michaels,” Gordon started glancing at the man, “she’s under your care now. Let’s hope that whatever damage he’s caused can be reversed.”
“I highly doubt it but one can only hope,” was Michaels reply. “I want to get her to Arkham as quick as possible and start immediate treatment. I think that would be best. She might be the lucky one and get better.”
Simmons looked livid. He was very pissed. Pissed about the fact that Jessica was not going to jail, pissed about the fact that she would later on be released, and pissed that they actually believed Greg. “What is wrong with you?!” he shouted at the group. “You’re just going to let her walk? She killed a man! Stabbed him eight times before she cut open his throat, and all you’re going to do about it is send her to Arkham. What is the justice in that?”
Gordon sighed. Simmons was a good officer, but a young one. “What would the justice be in sending a nineteen year old girl to prison where she would face the same horrors she did in life and no chance of changing? She deserves a second chance. She’s too young to be locked up for the rest of her life.”
“You and your bleeding heart,” Simmons sneered. “It’s no wonder why criminals run free in Gotham. You don’t have the balls to lock them up. You’re a disgrace to the force and the name Commissioner.” With that said Simmons stormed out of the room.
“Don’t worry about him Commissioner,” Stephens said. “He only sees the black and white, never the gray. One day he’ll see it. Just give him some time.”
Turning, Gordon gazed out of the two-way mirror at Jessica. Her and her father seemed to be having a lovely conversation and were laughing at an unheard joke. At the sight of her bright smile and lively eyes he could not feel anything but hope for the girl. Gordon was positive that she would turn for the better, that she would get better and live a normal life.
From the last time he had seen her, he would have to say thing were already looking up for her. The clothes she wore were much nicer and more modest. Her storm gray eyes were no longer wide in fear and there was a smile in her face. All timidness had dispersed from her and replaced with a hidden confidence and surety in herself. She had gained weight and was starting to fill out. And she had a man that cared deeply about her. Gordon had witnessed as the pair walked in with each other, Greg’s arm wrapped around her and the other stoking her hair trying to comfort the girl. He had sent a heated glare at any officer that had tried to remove her trembling body from him.
Deep down Gordon was happy for the girl. After her encounter with Frankie, her older brother, Gordon had remembered where he had seen her before. It was a long time ago when she was much younger and her father would bring her to work with him occasionally. She had been a small girl and stared up at everything with wonder. Nothing had ever ceased to amaze the little girl and nothing sated her curiosity. A question was always on her small lips.
Now, she was grown and so much had changed for the worse. The hand life had dealt her was not fair, but she had bluffed her way through it and won. She had survived and no one could take that accomplishment from her. A new hand was being dealt and with it came a new life. Gordon hoped that this hand would be a little more fair.
But nothing is ever fair and the dealers cheat even in the game of life.

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So, here's another chapter for you all. I hoped that you enjoyed it. Joker will be making his second debut in the next chapter. Review and rate please!