The Second Covenant

I brushed right by Tristan and Riley without saying hello to them and got in my car. I had to be away from them before I started crying. Oh wait, no, I already was crying. I ignored all the calls that blasted from my pocket, even turned on the CD player to try and drown out the sound. But the new CD I’d bought, A Fine Frenzy came on, and I cried harder at the lyrics.

Don't know if our fate's already sealed
This day's spinning surface on a wheel
I'm ill with the thought of your kiss
Coffee laced intoxicating on her lips

Shut it out
I've got no claim on you now
Not allowed to wear your freedom down

Is there a chance?
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?
A reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind?
Or are we ashes and wine?

I'll tear myself away
That is what you need
There is nothing left to say
But

Is there a chance?
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?
A reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind?
Or are we ashes and wine?
The day's still ashes and wine
Or are we ashes?

I think I was more hurt that after all his crap about, remember I fell in love with you first, bullshit, he’d had the audacity to kiss me like that, like he loved me while he was sleeping with some blonde, trampy bitch named Trixi! I think I was even more upset that now he and I would never again just be friends. He’d put himself in the potential boyfriend box, and… “Damnit!” I hissed, wiping furiously at my tears. I looked over and saw the wrapped box with the wolf in it and slammed my hand on the steering wheel.

I wanted Druex, I was very attracted to him, but Peyton had been my best friend, the guy I’d thought I’d eventually fall in love with. I was hurting because that dream was over. And it was Peyton’s fault. By the time I got home, I’d gotten my tears under control, I even put my phone on silent so when I walked in the door and my parents asked, I’d be able to lie. God I was lying a lot since my Ascension.

My mom was waiting up for me, I barely walked in the door before she was there with a sigh. She didn’t say anything, but took my hand and walked with me up to my room. She helped me with my coat, unpinned the half knot in my hair and sat me down on my vanity stool. She started brushing my hair, she used to do it for me when I was little and I’d gotten upset over something. “Tristan called, he said you were crying.” She said after a while. I nodded and looked down at my wrist, at the glittering moonstones and platinum. “I went to see Peyton. I had a bad dream about him a while ago and I wanted to talk with him about it.”

I smiled and used my finger to turn the bracelet around my arm. “They made the attic into a bedroom for me. No magic involved.” I looked at the picture in front of me, stuck into the wood of the vanity frame. Tristan and Riley had taken me to their Senior prom, but I’d taken the picture with Peyton. He was behind me, his arms around me, smiling. We looked so good together.

I touched the picture with my finger before taking it down. “I always thought eventually he’d admit he loved me too.” I started taking all the pictures of him off the mirror. “Did he?” My mom asked softly and I sniffled. “Mm-hm. I always was able to talk to him more than Tristan or Riley, and I needed to tell him about this dream. It was bad, one of those that feels so real you can taste the terror. Ever had one like that?”

The strokes of the brush through my hair never faltered. “I have.” picture after picture came down, memory after memory, my eyes burning. “In the dream I had to choose, him or someone else.”
“Druex?” She guessed shrewdly and I nodded. “I didn’t choose.” No need to tell her the bloody details. “I’m sure I could have told him over the phone, but I had to look at him, be there.” I sighed heavily and looked at the pile I’d made. My mirror looked really bare without all the pictures. My mother was being a very good listener. “I didn’t want to have to choose mom, and with Peyton…our magic flared, like an electrical circuit that was completed, it just clicked. Until Trixi showed up and I realized I was kissing someone else’s boyfriend.” Took the stack of pictures and put them in the drawer, closing it slowly. “He kissed me like he meant it but he didn’t.”

My mom sighed sadly and put down the brush, wrapping her arms around me, pulling me back into her body. “I’m so sorry sweetie.” I sniffled and shook my head, “I think I’m just more upset that Peyton isn’t it for me. But at least now I don’t have to choose.” She kissed the top of my head. “Not all of us are lucky enough to have our first love be it.” I nodded and stood up to hug her. “Thanks for listening mom.” I said and she hummed. “Anytime, Riley called too. He was worried, do you want me to call them back for you?”
“No, text messages work just fine.” She laughed softly. “That way, you won’t have to worry if Peyton picks up, that it?”

I pulled back and wiped my eyes. “Sure is. Don’t tell dad I kissed Peyton, he’ll start planning a wedding.” She smiled and kissed my forehead. “Do you want me to get you anything?” I sighed wearily. “No, I‘m just going to sit and sulk for a while. Thanks though.” She nodded and left, shutting the door softly behind her. I plugged my iPod in and turned that one song back on, Ashes and Wine. I texted Tristan and Riley to let them know I was okay, they’d left me fifteen messages a piece. Peyton hadn’t called once. Tristan texted me back almost instantly. ‘I’m going to call you, pick up. I promise it’s just me.’
I picked up. It was him. I swallowed down the thickness of my voice, and my tears. “Peyton’s stomping around the house like a bear, won’t say a god damn thing and Trixi ran out of the house like fifteen minutes after you did, she looked pretty pissed too. What happened honey?” I sighed wearily. “Peyton’s fault.” Tristan made a sound of disgust. “Aw hell Cherish, Trixi walked in on you making out or something?”

How he knew stuff like that…it was uncanny. “Well that too. Remember that day I stepped on the grave?”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, when you all went to the coven seat, Peyton stayed back and we had a minor argument about me having a thing for Druex and Peyton kissed me first.”
Tristan sighed. “Finally.”
“I called this morning to ask if it was okay to come up, and he was talking to me while he was in bed with that…blonde…thing!”
“Even for him that’s bad.” I agreed with a disgusted snort. “Yeah. It is especially after he told me he was in love with me.”

There was a pause and I heard a door slamming. “Sorry, I had to get outside. God Cherish, I’m sorry.” I sniffled and lay back against my pillows. “My own fault. You don’t kiss your brother.” He didn’t say anything to agree or disagree and I went on. “The room you guys made me is beautiful.”
“But you’re not going to come and live in it are you?” He said sadly and tears started streaming down my face. “No.” My voice broke a little. “I’m sorry. You worked so hard on it, not a bit of magic either.” He laughed, but it was sad. “Yeah, you should have seen Riley on his hands and knees, actually working, to polish up the floor.”

There was another long pause between us and then Tristan heaved a sigh. “It’s not going to ever be the same now.” I nodded and wiped at my streaming eyes. “It’ll be a while before we can be in the same room together and not be weird.”
“Maybe never.”
“Maybe never.” I agreed softly. “You want me and Riley to beat him up for you?” I laughed at the offer, hoping he wasn’t serious. “No, you can put some spiders in his bed. He hates spiders.”
“Yeah, Riley’ll love that.”
He sighed again. “Thanksgiving is going to be fun.” He said dryly and I echoed that sigh. “Yeah. Sorry I perpetuated the cycle and screwed everything up.”
“Don’t be sorry Cherish. He had no right to kiss you, or tell you he loved you while he was seeing that blonde…thing.”

I thought I heard his voice and Tristan made an angry sound. “I’ll call you back later.”
“Don’t, its alright. Just go do the macho thing. I’m going to have some ice cream.”
“Love you like a sister.” He said and I laughed. “Back at you.” and he hung up.
I curled up and snuggled my pillow against me, wondering if they were beating each other up or what. I forced myself to just let it go and try to sleep.