An Even Greater Sin

Chapter 22: ... as the truth finally spills

Darth Vader lay exhausted, weakened, and most of all, confused. He heard his son's voice as though from far away, as though a memory.

"I will never kill the ones I love." Love? Vader had known love, once- had known it twice. His tired mind, worn out from battle of both body and spirit, was too vulnerable to his memories.

Memories of warmth, of soft embraces and tender kisses, now inconceivable. He hadn't felt organic matter in over two decades. He couldn't possibly remember it, could he?

His mind swarmed with dizzying ideas of the past. He knew color, then, and the melodious tones of human voices. Vader had known light, and comfort, and the happiness he had when surrounded by love.

Love? This boy, who had defeated him so soundly, professed love for him. Was this love, then, to defeat? To maim, to attack, to kill?

No. The boy had turned away, casting away his glowing weapon and sparing Vader's life. And now-

Vader heard screaming, and felt as though he was on fire again. His head slowly stopped spinning, and he gathered his bearings, trying to locate the source of that intense pain.

Through crimson-filtered eyes, he saw a bright glow surrounding his son, emanating from Palpatine. He recognized the form of the light, in streaks of jagged lightning.

Palpatine was attacking his son.

His son who had spared his life.

Luke writhed under the assault of the Emperor's electricity, his already sore throat being torn by screeches that were ripped from him involuntarily. He squeezed his eyes shut, in a desperate attempt to ignore it, to ignore the pain, to ignore the memories that surfaced with it.

It hadn't felt nearly this bad the first time- either the Sith had gone easy on him, or his power had increased thousandfold. But it didn't matter- the only thing that mattered was the pain the pain and the memories-

And the fact that his barriers had been completely stripped away, exposing his mind, his heart, his soul to Palpatine.

Recollections of the Emperor's violation of his body, the way he used the Force to increase the slam into Luke's anus, accompanied the lightning and the physical pain to bring his spirit into unimaginable agony. Palpatine noticed this, now, and changed tactic.

Luke arched his back as he felt a phantom phallus enter his rectum at blinding speed, his vision going from blue blurs of lightning to white nothingness of pain. He felt nothing but pain, nothing but the shame and the fear and the morbid hope that he would die soon- to be free of the anguish.

His father didn't deserve to see this.

Vader struggled to his feet, his mechanical limbs creaking at the effort, as he felt his son's despair swirling around him in uncontrolled waves. Something was familiar about the sense- but he had no idea what. He just knew he hated it, hated Palpatine who was attacking his son.

Luke's mind was wide open, unable to conceal his deepest secrets. He saw them now, raging before his closed eyes as they came forth unbidden. The physical pain forced his mind upon the memories of his rape, of the time when he had become victim to Palpatine's lust.

This was lust, now, Palpatine's unholy desire to conquer and dominate, to bring pain in any form. Luke knew that his longing for his father went far beyond this painful emotion. He cried out for his father both with his voice and with his soul, seeking release from this endless slaughter of his spirit. He was breaking. His heart was breaking. Only his father could save his heart.

Vader's mind was assailed by mental imagery, delirious pain-twisted memories from the deepest recesses of his son's mind. He staggered under the weight of the thoughts, as they tore into his own mind. Luke wasn't even trying to reach him- it was an automatic reflex of a son for his father- a man for his lover.

Darth Vader sensed the boy's need now, more than ever, and it was a need for mercy, for compassion, for Vader's black heart to protect him.

Luke had been hurt. In the dark corners of Vader's mind, he recalled-

A flash of blue light, and the same agony, sent through his link with Luke, as he sat in the Council chambers, crying for Padme`-

He remembered her name, now, after so long of trying to forget.

Luke had taken him from Padme`.

But that wasn't true. Luke was all he had of Padme`!

He knew why someone had once said that they loved Padme` more because of Luke.

Vader knew, because that person... was him.

And he had betrayed Padme`. Padme` who had protected Luke, who had not hated Luke even when learning the truth.

Within his heart, the piece of him that remembered Padme` told him, 'She would understand your love for him.'

That piece of himself that was... Anakin.

Vader recalled that name, now, spoken through soft lips, through the lips of his mother, his mentors, Padme`-

And Luke.

Luke loved the part of Vader that loved Luke.

Luke's pain was slowing, ceasing, and he clutched his sides, curling into a protective fetal position. Palpatine's voice rushed through his ears like a sandstorm, abrasive and deadly.

"Only now do you understand the folly of love. All love is has always been lust, greed, fear of loss."

Luke knew this to be false. He had to believe in the purity of true love.

"And now, young Jedi, you foolish boy... you will die."

The physical pain accelerated, throwing Luke's mind into fits of uncontrollable flashes of memory. He recalled the shame at his violation, the regret of knowingly hiding the truth from Anakin, the suspicious, disgusted look in Leia's eyes as he allowed himself to know the full truth-

And Vader saw the memories as well- saw the Princess's shock at Luke's words, felt the remorse of Luke's untruth, felt-

Palpatine's lust for the one Anakin loved.

Palpatine raping his son.

Palpatine had lied to him- had misguided Vader with half-truths of Luke's betrayal. Luke had hidden the truth- but Palpatine had twisted it. He had told Vader that the boy only lusted for Vader.

But Palpatine was the one who knew no love, only lust.

And it was and had been turned upon his son- his beloved son.

Anakin Skywalker lunged, lifting the Emperor with an arm and a stump. Lightning whirled around Anakin, now, tearing into mechanical systems and what was left of his body, but Anakin ignored it, ignored the crushing pain of his "Master's" attack as the slave turned on the owner.

He didn't care anymore, if Luke wanted to own him, to possess his soul- it was infinitely better than Palpatine.

Luke slowly opened his dry, blurred eyes, to find Palpatine being carried to the edge of the shaft by-

His father.

His father loved him- Luke could feel it clearly, surrounding Luke with a subconscious blanket of warmth and comfort. His heart, erratic from the electrical assault, soared to see his father heave Palpatine over the edge.

His father saved him. His father loved him.

Crawling to the edge of the chasm, he reached for his father, embracing him desperately. His hand sought out his father's remaining hand, and tears spilled down his face.

Anakin wheezed, or rather his respirator wheezed, and he gave a mental sigh. It would all be over soon. He belonged to no one but Luke, now- belonged to him heart and soul. He had given everything for Luke.

He became aware of his body being pulled away from the dangerous ledge, although he could feel very little. He felt with the Force, now, and reached out with it to embrace Luke as solidly as he could. His strength was failing- his body's systems were failing.

Luke knew they didn't have much time, but he lay there, his father in his arms, for what seemed like a blissful eternity.

He had given his heart to his father fully, and received his father's heart in return.

The respirator struggled to maintain its rhythm, and the Death Star rocked with an explosion.

Neither would survive if Luke didn't act quickly. Rising to his feet, he heaved his father's heavy body to lean on his weary shoulder.

Luke had to save his father's life- he couldn't imagine life without him.

They had to move immediately.