Bordon's Girl

CHAPTER 22 Time

A little over a month had passed since Tess became Mrs. Tavington, and her father still had not spoken to her. She had mixed emotions whenever she saw him. The girl wanted to drop to her knees before him and beg forgiveness. Sometimes she welled up with tears and sometimes she was angry at him because he would not let her be happy. William did not interfere in the situation, still hoping that time would heal the hurt between the siblings.

Bordon had suffered in that month, too. He became very antisocial, spending a lot of time alone in his now large and lonely rooms. The officer had become very quiet, as well. Things were strained between he and William; they were now brother-in-laws and commander and subordinate of the same unit. Bordon barely spoke to the Colonel. If he dwelled on the situation, he would feel very bitter and angry toward Tess.

He’d also not been sleeping well. He’d often wake up in the middle of the night after a bad dream, thinking that he had heard Tess calling for him. He’d push back the covers, wanting to bolt from his bed to his daughter’s side to comfort her, then he’d remember that she wasn’t there anymore and that it was only a dream.

More so than the anger, Bordon felt lonely and melancholy. He missed his daughter very much. He realized that he broke his own heart by forcing her to choose between two men. She chose the man she loved and father of her child.

Major Bordon reflected on memories of Tess as he raised her. Many nights he had to comfort her when she couldn’t sleep or was scared. He had held her when she cried and dried those tears countless times. Bordon sat at her bedside when she was sick and took care of her. The man had been her teacher, and praised her when she learned things or did something well.

He protected Tess from the world, which could be a cruel place sometimes. It had been very hard for him to let her go; to let her grow up. It was hard on him to think that another man was protecting and taking care of her. Maybe he feared that she would forget all about him.

Then he remembered when Tess was a baby and taking her first steps. Bordon was there holding her hands so that she wouldn’t fall. At that time, he knew he had to let go of her so that she could learn to walk on her own. He had to watch her fall on her bottom a few times, but she would get up and try again. If she hurt herself when she fell, then Geoffrey comforted her, brushed off the dirt, and sent her on her way, toddling again.

He now knew that this was the same as that time. He had to let Tess go and let her be an adult. The Major knew he would have to let go of her to make decisions on her own. But, he could be there to comfort her if she needed it, or to help her up if she should “fall”.

Bordon had also noticed the newlywed couple on occasions when they thought no one was watching. He noticed how they looked at one another, their faces so full of love. Seeing how affectionate and loving Colonel Tavington was to her helped him to understand that the man did love his daughter; he had never witnessed this kind of behavior before from Tavington. Mostly, he realized how happy his daughter was, for there was always a smile upon her face, love in her eyes, and an air of joy swirling about her.

Now, Bordon stood upon the veranda of the manor house. He looked over and spied Tess sitting on a blanket in the shade of a large oak tree. He watched her as she sewed quietly and enjoyed the afternoon air.

After taking a deep breath of courage, Geoffrey stepped down off the porch and walked a little closer to where Tessa sat. He looked longingly at his daughter as she put down her sewing for a moment. He watched her as she sighed and looked out over the fields. Bordon kept watching as she put her hand upon her belly and rubbed it over where the tiny life within her was.

Bordon stayed back as he saw Tavington stroll over to her. Her husband took her in his arms and kissed her lightly. The couple seemed genuinely in love to him for they seemed not to care who saw their affection.

William stepped behind his wife and slipped his arms around her waist. As he did, she held up the baptismal dress she had been working on for him to see. Bordon saw William and Tess smile and say something to each other then observed the colonel nuzzle her ear.

Major Bordon took yet another deep breath and summoned up some courage. He then approached the happy couple cautiously. Tavington still held his wife in his arms as Bordon stepped in front of them. Will immediately felt Tess’ body tense at the sight of her brother.

“May I talk to you for a moment, Tess?” Bordon asked.

“Not if you’re going to admonish me,” she said defensively.

Will thought Bordon had a different look about him. He believed the forlorn man to be sincere.

William tightened his arms around Tess. “Shhhh….Let him speak, Tess,” he whispered, giving her a reassuring squeeze.

“Alright,” she murmured back, turning her head to the side to look into her husband’s eyes. He smiled a small, soft smile, then kissed her cheek.

“If you’ll both excuse me, I have some paperwork to do,” he lied. He walked into the house.

There was an awkward silence between them. Both looked at the ground, afraid to make eye contact.

Bordon broke the silence. “That is a beautiful Christening gown you’re making,” he commented as he admired the garment.

“Thank you,” she replied, shyly,still not looking up at him.

The Major turned away for a moment, then turned back to her.

“Uh….If you like, I thought we could switch rooms,” he said. “After all, you need a larger set of rooms, for you will soon have a family. I could take your smaller room since I no longer have—,” he stopped short, then changed his words. “Since it is just me alone.”

“Alright. That would help us. We were afraid we’d have to find a cabin or cottage in the country away from the safety of the plantation and fort. William was reluctant to do that because he can not be home all the time to protect us.” Then, she immediately became quiet, feeling as if she’d said too much. She reverted back to her coldness of earlier. “I’ll speak to William about it.”

Both became quiet again. After another moment, Tess turned and began to walk toward the house. She didn’t think her father had anything else to say.

“I miss you,” Bordon called after her. These words stopped her in her tracks. She sighed, but did not turn to look back at him; she just couldn’t.

Her father continued. “I just….wish I could have been there to walk you down the aisle,” stammered Bordon. “Every father wants the chance to give his daughter away on her wedding day.”

Tess turned back to him with tears in her eyes. She realized that he was trying hard to patch things up between them.

She began to cry, but choked back her sobs to say something. “You were there with me, Daddy,” she cried.

Tess ran to him and wrapped her arms about his neck, just as she had done so many times when she was little. He embraced her tightly. She wept upon his shoulder.

“I carried you in my heart,” she sobbed. “I imagined you were there with me, escorting me to William, and then giving me to him. It made me happy to think this. And, I imagined that you were happy, as well!”

“I am happy if you are,” Bordon conceded, his eyes now moist with tears. “He’d better be good to you and the baby always!”

“He is good to me, Daddy, and he always will be!”

Bordon took her by the shoulders and pushed her back gently to look in her face. “I always said that a soldier was not a suitable husband. But, I realize that William loves you and that he will always find a way to provide for his family.”

Tess put her hand to Bordon’s cheeks and wiped his tears away. He continued. “I realize that I was wrong. I can not throw any stones at you. I am a soldier and Susannah was going to marry me. If she would have decided that a soldier was not a good suitor, then I would have never shared love with her for the time that I did.”

He let go of her and stepped backwards. “I could have decided that a poor, towns girl wasn’t a suitable wife, but I didn’t. So, who was I to say that you could not marry a soldier."

Bordon reached into his pocket and pulled out his handkerchief. He wiped his daughter’s tears away with it. As he did, he said “Do you remember how I used to do this every time you cried?”

“Yes! You were always there for me,” Tess remembered.

“And I will always be here for you,” he said. “If anything should ever happen to William, God forbid, I will be there to help you and take care of your child.”

He paused for an instant, then added, “That is, if you want me too!”

“Yes!” she exclaimed. “I would both need and want you there. As I want you in my life now! I have missed you so much!” She embraced him again as he held her close.

“Tess,” Bordon began quietly, “Can you ever forgive me for putting a secure future ahead of your feelings?”

“Yes,” she answered, “But, why must I forgive you when you felt you were doing the right thing by putting my best interest at hand. You were only trying to make sure that I did have a good and secure future.”

“But it may have cost you happiness.”

“It could have, but it didn’t,” remarked Tess. “If anything, I should apologize to you for my deception and defiance—“

“Shhhhh”, Geoffrey quieted her. He pulled back from her and looked into her eyes. “Tess, you are happy, and I feel confident that William Tavington will take care of you and a family and that has eased my worry. And, I am pleased to see you so full of joy.”

She smiled at him as her eyes filled again with tears. He hugged his daughter to him again and held her for a moment.

After another moment, she left her father’s embrace and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

“Oh, Daddy, I want you to feel this.” She took her father’s hand and placed it on her once youthfully flat stomach. There was now a slight bulge there. Bordon smiled at this. He could see how excited she was.

“Feel how my belly has started to swell,” she said with a big grin.

“Yes,” he said as he nodded his head. He smiled softly at her, then kissed her cheek.

Unbeknownst to father and daughter, the Colonel had watched all of this from their bedroom window. He could tell just by the action and body language of the two that they had made amends. William smiled, very pleased that they had!