Saving Grace

“Why,
Gracie?” Sands asked, holding her body as close to his as he could.

“Why what?”
she smiled, knowing what he was going to ask.

He licked
his dry lips before answering her. “You’ve
been a fucking angel to me – one that rivals my personality, I might add – I
never thought I’d find anything close to that…explains why I, you know…”

“Love me?”style="mso-spacerun: yes"> She emphasized the words.

“Yeah,
that,” he said softly. “I, however, and
I’ll only admit this once, have been nothing but a horny bastard with you…wait,
that’s not exactly hard to admit is it?”

Grace
laughed. “Not at all.”

“So why,
hm?”

“It’s
suddenly so important to you why a woman would…”

Sands
kissed her neck. “You’re not just any
woman, Gracie. I wouldn’t give a fuck
about you if you were…”

“Um, not
quite sure how to take that,” she interrupted.

He
chuckled. “It’s a good thing, I
guess. Don’t make me beg you for an
answer.”

“Begging,
huh? That really doesn’t sound so bad.”

“I’m spent
for the moment, Gracie,” he said, smiling.
“C’mon, tell me.”

Grace
sighed and snuggled further into Sands before answering.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> “What’s going to happen in three days,
Jeffrey?”

“What?”

“When someone
comes to get you, what’s going to happen?
Do I go home and try to pretend that all of this was nothing?”

“I…I
actually sort of forgot about that,” he confessed. “Only three more days?”

Grace
swallowed. “Mm hm.”

“Tell me
first, then we’ll talk about it.”

“You’re an
arrogant, horny, ‘my way or no way’ asshole, Jeffrey.”style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Sands pulled back a bit, not expecting those
words to come from her. “But,” she
continued, “that’s the way you package yourself. You didn’t want me to see your face, you wanted to be able to
hear the ocean…Jeffrey, you may never admit this, but you’re not the
heartless bastard that you make yourself out to be. We didn’t ‘fuck’ our first time – you wanted to, but you couldn’t
and you know it. You gave up your
control and you let me let make love to you and, damn it, you liked it.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Last night too. There’s more to you than you let people see, but, for whatever
reason, you’re letting me see it.”
Tears began to fall from her eyes.
“I hardly know you, we’ve been more physical than anything…”style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Her tears hit Sands’ chest, causing him to
lift her face and wipe them away. “…and
I love you. I can’t explain it and it’s
scaring the shit out of me.”

“You?” he
said softly. “I’ve never said ‘I love
you’ to any woman I wasn’t related to.
I’ve been screwed over by them one more than one occasion, but now the
thought of being away from you is driving me absofuckinglutely crazy.style="mso-spaceryes"yes"> As soon as I got my eyes torn from my skull,
I…” He didn’t finish the thought.

“What?”

“Huh uh,
I’m not going to start talking like a fucking pansy.”

She kissed
his chest, tasting her tears. “Humor
me?”

“What, you
want me to say that it took me losing my sight to finally see?”

Grace
smiled. “Was that so bad?”

“That’s not
me.”

Before
speaking again, Grace sat up in bed, sighing heavily. “How do you know, Jeffrey?
I mean, do you honestly know who you are anymore?”

I
don’t…Christ, I really don’t… “Last
week, my life was in order. I was doing
my job, my way. You’d
think losing my sight would be my biggest downfall.”

“It
wasn’t?”

He >He shook
his head. “I broke my own number one
rule: don’t let anyone get too close. I
blew it once with Ajedrez – my punishment, losing my eyes.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Now there’s you and…”

Grace’s voice
was soft. “I’m worse than some bitch
that got your eyes ripp…”

Sands
refused to let her finish the thought.
It was nowhere near the truth.
He kissed her, and she felt something that she never would have expected
from this man. Tears fell onto her
cheeks…tears that weren’t hers. He
pulled back. “I’m weak now,
Gracie. I’m fucking weak…and I don’t
fucking care. When I walked out of that
building and couldn’t see a God damned thing, I thought my life was over.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I went out, guns blazing, sure I was going
to die…most of me wanting to. That kid
brings a woman to help me…”

“Come home
with me,” Grace blurted.

“What?

“I don’t
think I’m wrong in guessing that you don’t have a home in the states and I’m
not going to be able to just put you behind me…”

“I hope you
don’t expect me to try and settle down into some normal life.”style="mso-spacerun: yes">

“What the
hell else are you going to do? You said
yourself you’ll probably be made to retire and…”

“And just
what am I going to do all day, huh? Sit
around like some worthless piece of shit?”

Grace was
quickly becoming hurt and angry. “If I thought
that, I certainly wouldn’t be asking you, would I? Jesus, Jeffrey, I’m just trying to offer you a new life – I
really didn’t think that would piss you off.”

“I…”style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Sands had no smart remarks, no witty
comments – he sat in complete silence, desperately trying to think of one, but
realizing that he had become the one thing he never thought he could.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Agent Sheldon Jeffrey Sands was scared.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> When he knew he was going to lose his eyes,
he was upset, but not afraid. While he
was being shot at with only his ears to rely on, he was angry.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Now, however, he was scared out of his
mind. Scared that he let himself become
dependant on someone – terrified that he didn’t want to live a day without her.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I’ve seriously fucked up here.

“Is the
thought of someone wanting to take care of you so terrible?”

“The
stitches will be out soon and I won’t need…”

“Oh!”style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Grace immediately jumped to
conclusions. “So you can love me as
long as you abso…absofuckinglutely need someone to help you, but then
you’re done?”

“Gracie, I didn’t
say…”

“God, I am
just so fucking naïve! I can’t trust a
thing that comes out of your mouth can I?
You only say what you know people want to hear!”style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Grace sprang out of bed, pulling the sheet
with her – leaving Jeffrey in all of his “glory.”

“Don’t you
leave this fucking room!” Sands yelled.
He got out of bed, stubbing his toe on the way to her.

“Don’t tell
me what not to do,” Grace spat. “Where’s
your phone? I can’t stay here anymore!”

“You are
not leaving me, Grace,” he said, grabbing her arms. “You can’t walk out of here thinking you know what the fuck you’re
talking about and jumping to any fucking conclusion you want to.”

“Let go of
me,” she said, struggling against him.

“Not until
you listen to me.” His voice calmed down
and his grip loosened. “I’ve done a lot
of fucked up stuff, Gracie, but I wouldn’t say something like ‘I love you’ just
for the hell of it. Even I have certain
limits.”

“How am I supposed
to believe you?” she asked, obviously beginning to cry.

Sands let
go of her arms and caressed her face. “You
just have to trust me, and believe me, I know that’s asking a lot.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I do love you and…going home with you doesn’t
sound like any form of torture, but what happens when you get bored with the
blind guy?”

“What?”

“What
happens to me when you decide you’ve had enough of your fucking adventure?”

“And the
arrogance is stripped away,” she whispered.

“There you
have it, Gracie, I’m fucking insecure now...anyone would be if life shit on
them the way it has on me.”

“Thought
you didn’t want pity.”

Sands
wrapped his arms around Grace. “All I
want…” He couldn’t finish, but he didn’t
have to.

“Me too.”style="mso-spacerun: yes"> They stood in silence for a moment before
they heard his cell phone yelling, in a Homer Simpson voice, “The mail!style="mso-spacerun: yes"> The mail is here! Oo!” Grace couldn’t help
but burst out laughing. “Cartoon voices
on your phone?”

Sands
smiled. “Have to be entertained
somehow, right?”

“Now I don’t
feel so bad about my phone playing theme songs.”

“C’mon, it’s
probably info on your psychotic ex.”

“There’s a
happy thought.”