Freak is an Ugly Word

Days, weeks, months passed by and Jessica knew little of them. The only knowledge she had of the outside world was when the doctors came into the little white padded room for a session. Having been forced to take drugs to “help” her, she was once again back to the sniveling coward before her first encounter with Joker. All of the doctors, Michaels especially, enjoyed her that way, as did many of the male orderlies as well though their intentions were of a different kind. Without her big sister able to come out, Jessica no longer had anyone to protect her while locked into solitary confinement, and how much she needed her.
Before they had started to give her the medication Jessica had had long conversations with her “big sister”, or so she liked to call herself. From what Crane, she had refused to see any doctor at first but him, had explained to her it was rare for split personalities to actually converse with each other. Most went about never knowing that the other existed, thinking nothing more that their lapse in memory were nothing but black outs. Jessica liked knowing that her big sister was there, that she would never truly be alone in the world. There would always be someone there, though inside of her, that would watch over her for even when Jessica was asleep, Big Sister was there looking after her.
Solitary confinement was hell for the now twenty-one year old woman, unbeknownst to her. It was even more so now that she no longer had someone to talk to. Left all alone in her solidarity, she had little else to do but sleep, and that is what she did. When ever she felt the slightest touch of sleep overcome her, she would lay on the single twin sized bed provided to her and succumb to the urge. The only time she was up and about were during her sessions, when it was time to eat, and the short time she had in the bathroom, one having not been provided for her in the overly white thickly padded room. The best days were when she was allowed to shower, which were rare and far between. Every shower that she took marked on month that she had been in that room. So far, she had counted nine.
Nine long tedious months of nothing but sleep. Not being able to do anything she had lost much of her appetite and had started to lose weight once again. She was not back to the grotesquely skinny that she was, but if she stayed any longer, it would eventually go back to that. All the hard work she had done to gain and maintain a healthy body weight had gone out the window the day that she entered that room.
A deep grudge of that room had built inside of her within the endless chasms of her mind. It would avail to nothing since she had turned back to her old self. The hatred she felt would just build inside of her until the day that she could release it. That day would be the day that she no longer took the medicine she had been forcefully given. An anxiousness of that day was rising inside of her slowly becoming a tidal wave ready to wash over her at any given moment.
There were only two emotions Jessica had been reduced to. Fear and depression. They seemed to wash over all others and consume her mind. Fear was the most common that she felt. It came to her at all times during the day. The time it grew thickest was when one of the orderlies would walk into the room letting her know that it was no longer day but night at its darkest. Depression had overcome her very quickly. Not having the ability to see those that she called “friends” or anyone but those that snuck into her room in the dead of night had led to that. Another pinpoint of her depression was the fact that she had once again become the weak thing that she had never wanted to return to.
After pacing the room several times, Jessica sat on her bed brining her knees to her chest and resting her chin upon them. A good majority of her time was spent in this position or in the fetal position as she slept. That day was unlike any other in that room. That day, she was more excited than most. It was the day that she would finally be released from her solitude. Just the thought of being able to gaze upon something other than the overly white walls of the room she had been confined in lifted her spirits to soaring heights. All she had to do was wait for someone to open that door and tell her that she could leave.
Hours later someone actually did come into the room and do just that. As soon as the nurse, a female with mousy brown hair and dull unintelligent brown eyes, said those magic words Jessica nearly sprinted out of the room. Not taking the time to wait for the woman she made her way down the man corridors until she reached the stairway. Taking the stairs two at a time she reached the desired floor and bolted down the hallway she was all too familiar.
The first thing, she decided, she was going to do was take a shower. A couple of weeks fermenting in her own stench made that her top priority. Expecting as much, Crane had arranged for a fresh pair of cloths, a towel, and a rag which awaited her at the nurses’ station closest to the shower room. Jessica reached the station in record time and grabbed the objects that sat upon the desk without pausing and continued down until she reached her destination just a few doors down.
With a speed she did not know she possessed, Jessica undressed and ran under the first shower head that she spotted. Turning it on she immediately started to scrub herself not bothering to wait for the water to warm. The better part of an hour was spent underneath the strong stream of water trying to rid herself of the dirt, sweat, and grim that had collected on the first layer of her skin. Once finished with that she moved onto her hair. She lathered, rinsed and repeated three times. Rinsing the remaining suds from her, she shut the water off and walked to where she had left her towel and clothes.
The process of drying off took less time than that of washing. Ten minutes passed and her clothes were on and she was heading out of the door running her fingers through the tangled mass on top of her head called hair. Now, it was onto her next stop. The Rec Room where the only people she knew in the place would be. It was the only place that they were allowed. Patients were no longer outside since there had been an incident of escape several years ago.
Being around recognizable faces is what she needed at the moment. Even when she was little, Jessica had had a problem with being left alone. When it was time for bed, one of her parents, mainly her father, would have to be in the room with her until she fell into a fitful slumber. After their mother had left, Frankie had watched over her, their dad having gone out most nights. Being alone was her biggest fear. It had nearly driven her to insanity when Greg had left her to go to work until he got Musket to keep her company. Taking care of the little pup had proved more time consuming then she had ever imagined, but it was a good way for the time to pass.
Entering the room, her eyes darted about to spot the familiar group. When they landed on them she immediately made her way to them. Her steps were light and quick, the same tempo her heart was beating. There was a new addition to the group, currently playing Joker in chess, but she ignored him. The only person she had eyes for that moment was Mad Hatter, the man she had adopted as a father. When she reached him she clambered into his lap, interrupting his reading, buried her face into his chest and sobbed uncontrollably.
“Sshh, sshh,” he cooed gently stroking her hair, “it’s alright now.”
“Is he letting her touch him?” an unfamiliar male voice asked. It was a low and smooth voice. A pleasant sound on the ears.
“Yes,” stated Crane dully. “She’s the only one that he lets touch him without freaking out. Get used to it.” From the sound of it, Crane cared little for the man that he spoke to. His tone was cold and distant void of the usual mirth that it held. Normally when Crane spoke it was as if he was making a joke of everything, not then. If Jessica had been calm she would have had time to wonder as to why, but she was not and could care less at the moment.
Several minutes passed by before her sobs turned into nothing but sniffles. Cradled against Mad Hatter’s chest she listened to the sound of his heart beat and soothing voice as he read quietly to her. When he saw that she had calmed down Mad Hatter asked, “Feeling better?” A nod was the only response that he gained from her. Jessica wanted to say nothing about what had just happened having not expected it.
Feeling a pair of eyes burning a hole into the back of her head Jessica adjusted herself so that she could see who it was. Joker was staring at her with a grin that could only be described as insane enjoyment. Quickly he had taken note of her weak behavior. Having known her, if only briefly, he recognized the change back. None of the others, excluding Croc who had been shooting the young woman worried glances above Ivy’s head, had met her before her admittance to the asylum. For all they knew it was just another personality change.
No longer wanting to look at the man Jessica started to scan the room. Her storm gray eyes, now a little less alive, studied all about her without really taking any of it in. One object in the room did catch her attention though. “There’s a piano in here,” she informed no one in particular. It was an upright piano of lightly stained wood.
“It’s been here for years,” Crane told her. “Patients used to play it. Music eases the mind. All the ones that could play have either been released or moved into the lower levels when their madness grew its worse.”
Jessica just nodded her head in response to the newly gained information. There was only one question on her mind. “Is it tuned?”
“It should be. They still have someone come in and tune it on a regularly basis.”
“Does Snow White know how to play?” Joker’s voice cut across the room like a knife. It was high nasally childlike but manly at the same time, just the way Jessica remembered it.
“I do,” admitted Jessica. “I had lessons since I could remember. My mother, when she was my mother, had insisted that I learn. Piano lessons were the only thing that was normal in my childhood. Music was the only way I could escape.” A wistful smile appeared on her face. “My father even bought me my own piano. It was second hand, but it worked. I played it all the time.”
“Hm,” started Joker, “that’s all fine and dandy but no one here believes you.” Jessica’s head slowly turned to him. The expression on her face was strained as if she were in pain. “Why don’t you play a bit and prove us all wrong.”
Without a word Jessica removed herself from Mad Hatter’s lap and crossed the room to the piano that sat alone against the wall. It was tucked into a corner forgotten. A film of dust had collected on top of the keys. Only a few keys and a small portion of the top were void of the presence of the particle letting Jessica know just where the man had touched when tuning the instrument.
Sitting down on the stool in front of the keys Jessica did a few finger stretches her teacher had taught her. It had been many years since she had touched a piano and she feared that she had forgotten how. With her hands nearing the keys, another problem presented itself. She had no idea what to play and there was no sheet music sitting in the music rack. Of course, there would be no music. If appearances were correct, which in this case they were, it looked as if the piano had not been played in years.
Closing her eyes and resting her fingertips on the keys, Jessica thought back to the many songs she had learned. Only one had stayed imprinted on her mind. The one that she had had to memorize, the rest staying safely on the sheets of paper that had been provided to her. Time after time she had played this song until it was near perfection as she could manage. With the gentlest of touches she pushed down on the keys hitting the first series of notes. The hammers struck the strings hiding underneath the top releasing the desired sound and filling the once quiet room.
No longer thinking and letting her fingers do all the work Jessica played with eyes closed. All was lost while she played. The patients, the walls, the building itself vanished from her mind as she slowly immersed herself in the music. Nothing else mattered but the notes and the movements of her feet as she placed them on the pedals at the precise moment.
“Piano Sonata Number Fourteen in C-sharp minor by Ludwig van Beethoven,” the man who the others had come to know as Riddler piped. “It is, also, called the Moonlight Sonata. There are a total of three movements and she is playing the first.” His tone was dull and informative. “It is believed that Beethoven played this song at night to a blind girl earning it the name the Moonlight Sonata.”
Very annoyed Crane glared at the man. Every day since he had arrived, courtesy of Batman, he had provided some form of useless information. Though some of the facts had been interesting to learn others had just been things of little importance that none seemed to care about. Before he could comment on the random piece of information that had fallen from Riddler’s lips Joker cut him off, “Shut up!” he hissed in a low tone glaring at the man across from him.
The game of chess they had been previously playing went forgotten when Jessica had started to play. Closing his eyes Joker listened to the music. It was beautiful. Long had it been since he had heard such sounds coming from the dancing fingers of someone that actually had talent.
Shocked Crane gazed at the man who now had a small smile of enjoyment on his lips. Joker liked music? That was something he would have never guessed. Music was creation, love, and order. Joker was a man of destruction, hate and chaos, the complete opposite of what music represented. To fathom that such a man could find pleasure in listening to such a thing was hard and nearly impossible.
Apparently he was not the only one to find this revelation startling. Riddler’s eyebrows were cocked up high on his forehead nearly touching the line where his red-ish orange hair stopped. Out of the two men, Riddler was the one to shrug it off. To each his own. What Joker liked was his business and his business alone. He could not blame the man for liking such a thing though. It was truly one of Beethoven’s best works in his opinion.
Near the end of the sonata the notes turned sour when the cocking of a gun overshadowed it. All attention was diverted toward the girl. Blocking their view of her was Mr. Zsasz who was holding a homemade, or asylum made, weapon of some sort. The one holding the gun was an older gentleman and he had it placed firmly on Mr. Zsasz’s left temple.
“Come near my daughter again and I’ll kill you,” the man educated Mr. Zsasz bringing a different kind of smile on Joker’s lips.
At long last he gets to meet Daddy Dearest. Well, he was not sure if the man was going to be willing to meet him, but that mattered little to Joker. He would introduce himself none-the-less even though the man, a cop, knew exactly who he was. It was only polite to introduce oneself to the father of a girl he had once paid for a night of fun.
Mr. Zsasz turned to meet the gaze of Jessica’s father. “I highly doubt you will, cop.” It was made evident that the man was a cop considering he was still in his uniform.
“I can tell by the way that you said ‘cop’ that you think that fact would stop me from shooting you dead on the spot. It won’t. I will kill you and not think twice. Now,” Frank said while tightening his forefinger on the trigger of his standard police issued forty caliber Glock, “go sit down before my finger slips and I shoot you.” Sensing movement, Frank’s eyes darted around the room to some of the patients, follows of the man he had the gun aimed at, making their way toward him in stealth. “I wouldn’t move if I were you,” he told them. “The bullet I bury in this man’s head has nine more friends just waiting to get their asses slapped so they can run head first into the next idiot that decides to make a move.”
A snort released itself from Crane. “I see where Jessica gets her witty dialogue from,” he muttered to his companions.
“Mr. Jones!” Reece’s voice, high and screechy, called out indignantly to the man. “Weapons are prohibited inside of this building! You should have checked it as soon as you walked through the door!”
Frank rolled his eyes visibly at the woman’s words. “Go sit down!” he commanded Mr. Zsasz.
Having a gun pointed at his head made it seem like a very good idea to do as the man ordered. Inching slowly backwards, never taking his eyes off of Frank, he made his way back to the seat he had been sitting in before Jessica had lost herself in the music. It had been the perfect opportunity to kill the woman considering her attention, along with all the others, was diverted. It upset him greatly that his act of vengeance had been thwarted.
Many months of waiting for his ear to heal and the stitches to be removed had made his thoughts turn to revenge. It was now his greatest and utmost desire. No one had ever dared hurt him as Jessica had. The fact that it had been a woman made it even harder to conceive. Women were natural prey being the weak beings that they were. They were not supposed to be strong enough to fend for themselves. He detested the idea that one of their breed had actually been able to harm him.
After the man had taken his seat, Frank lowered the weapon simultaneously flipping the safety on and then holstered it. With a heavy sigh, he sat down next to Jessica on the piano stool. “It was very beautiful,” he spoke in a hushed tone, “just like when you performed it on stage. I’m sorry to have ruined it, again.”
Jessica smirked, eyes diverting to her hands. “It’s okay,” she reassured him. “Your reasoning this time was just as good as the first.”
They were speaking of the time Jessica had performed on the stage Gotham’s Symphony Hall. Just being asked had been the greatest honor and joy of her life. She had been twelve at the time. The song that had been chosen for her was the Moonlight Sonata. Nearly everyday she had practiced all three movements until she had them memorized. When she had been nearly finished with the first act, Frank had an outburst and interrupted the performance. Her mother had chosen that moment to inform him of her affair with his partner, who had been present at the time. Jessica had sat frozen on the stage as she watched her father and his partner being carted off by fellow officers for fighting. The next day, her mother had left and her father had started to drink spiraling himself into debt leading into their current predicament.
“I tried to visit earlier,” Frank explained, not know what else to say. “You were locked in solitary so I wasn’t allowed. They told me that you attacked another patient. I’m guessing it was the prick that just tried to kill you.”
“Yeah, but technically it wasn’t me who attacked him.”
“Big Sister, right?” Jessica’s eyes widened in shock as she gazed up at her father. He smiled lightly at her. “I know all about her. You’re more like your mother than you’ll ever know. She had the same problem, though I don’t know if I would consider yours a problem considering the timing when she decides to come out. You always seemed to know about her as well, your mother never knew about her other selves. She had three including her.”
“Since I’ve been taking this medication, I’ve been remembering things,” Jessica elucidated. “I guess I tried to block them all out. I remember what one of them did to Frankie and tried to do to me. I’m glad you came home early that day.”
“That was the only day that I ever laid a hand on her. Afterwards, I kept telling myself that it wasn’t her, but seeing the bruises that I had caused still broke my heart.”
Reece stepped toward the conversing father and daughter. Just her presence alone interrupted their talk. “Jessica, it’s time to take your medication,” she informed the girl hovering over her. There was what seemed like a professional smile on her face, but Frank knew otherwise. Years on the force and interrogating prisoners had taught him to look deeper into facial expressions. A hint of malice and sadistic pleasure hung around the corners of her mouth and briefly flashed in her eyes. The man knew that the woman did not like his daughter, but as to the reasoning why he could only speculate. For some reason, having been in her office, he had a feeling that the malicious intent had something to do with the man with the clown painted face that was gazing at the group intently.
Jessica looked up at the woman with vacant eyes trying to register what she had told her. A few moments later it seemed to click. “O-okay,” she timidly said. The medication was something that Jessica did not like. Not only did it drive Big Sister away, but it muddled her mind as well. Her thought process had become much slower. Another side effect was that she had started to remember things in her past that she wanted to forget. No longer were the times when the mob had her drugged up a black hole in her memory. They were perfectly clear as if they had just happened moments ago instead of years ago. If it would have been her choice, she would have stopped taking the medicine of the spot, but it was not her choice and she was practically being force fed the stuff.
In the beginning, Jessica had refused to take the offending stuff and just spat it out. It became harder to do so when they crushed the pills up and started to mix it into her food. After it had gained its hold in her system Jessica had become more compliant to take the stuff. She had become more compliant on every aspect. Refusal was now a burden to her and she thought it best just to do as she was told. Besides, they told her the medication would help her. It was not like the drugs the mob had used for her. She was not totally incapacitated. Her mind was just a little slower and things were becoming hard to register. Attentiveness was no longer something she could do and she got distracted easily by the simplest of things.
Once on her feet Jessica followed Reece to the medicine distribution station just several yards outside of the room. A few moments passed with Reece chatting to one of the nurses about things Jessica cared little for and her attention started to wonder. Many things passed through her mind, but none were of any importance. They went along the lines of the time, the color of the sky and why she was in there. Though memories of her childhood had started to come back, her recently made ones had started to dwindle.
When Reece stepped toward her with a little white cup in her hand, Jessica’s attention diverted back to the woman. A smile of child like innocence appeared on the girl’s face and she accepted the cup offered to her with a near excitement. Bringing the cup to her lips Jessica flung her head back and swallowed the two white pills that had been given to her.
Watching the girl’s throat contact as she swallowed Reece could not help but smile. The medicine that she had Jessica take was experimental and had never been fully tested. What she was doing now was considered a trial and it was working to her liking. Side effects of the drug included body losing control of itself, shakes, and paranoia. All those Jessica did not receive. What she did gain from the medicine was the worst side effect and one that would stop immediate treatment if shown. Degradation of the mind.
Jessica was showing signs of such, but Reece was not going to put a stop to the medication. Why should she? With Jessica’s mind reverting back to a child like state it made the girl more compliant and less of a threat. Joker would soon lose interest in the girl and his attention would then be fully on Reece, as she so desperately wanted.
“You can go now,” Reece told Jessica once she had checked to make sure the girl had swallowed the pills.
With a childlike gait Jessica walked away and back into the familiar setting of the Rec Room. Once in there she made her way back to the piano stool where her father was still seated. Together they sat in silence until he broke it. “I have to go to work,” he said. “I’ll make sure to visit you again as soon as I can.”
As he stood up a panic settled itself inside of Jessica. With desperation she gripped the sleeve of his shirt tightly. “Don’t leave, Daddy!” she pleaded frantically. “I don’t like it here! I don’t want to stay here anymore! Please, take me with you!”
By her tiny wrist he removed her hand. “I can’t do that.” Gazing into her eyes he saw the fear and panic she felt. Her decline had increased dramatically and would continue to do so the longer that she took the medication. “Jessica,” he started slowly, “do you know why you are here?” She shook her head, eyes wide and bottom lip quivering.
That really was not the answer he wanted. Something was very wrong with his daughter and he had a hunch that Reece had something to do with it. After gently reassuring Jessica he would be back later, he left the room in search of the woman in question. He had some questions and he expected answers.
Watching her father leave the room tied Jessica’s stomach in a knot. Tears welled in her eyes, her throat contracted making her feel as if she was choking, and her bottom lips quivered uncontrollably. He was leaving, just as her mother had left, and was not going to come back. Her eyes never left his retreating back fearing it would be the last time that she saw him.
“Something’s wrong with her,” Ivy pointed out stating what they all knew.
As time passed the degradation of Jessica’s mind would become more and more evident to those around her. If she was not careful it could prove to be fatal for her. Weakness could not be shown in such a place or others would take advantage of such a thing. Those that were weak became prey and were hunted down resulting in their untimely death. Vulnerability was radiating off of her in waves at that moment. That was not the Jessica the small group had come to know. Though she was not the brightest of them, she knew enough of the world to not show weakness as she was doing.
It was quickly decided by Ivy that all would watch over her at all moments of the day. Night would be the hardest considering that they would be locked in their room. Croc and Mad Hatter had quickly agreed to help the woman. The other three were a little more reluctant. With harsh words and threats on their manhood, Ivy had convinced Crane and Riddler to quickly come to terms to her wishes. Joker she did not even attempt to persuade. The man would do as he wished and, though she hated to admit it, she was afraid of him. The possibility that he could kill her at any given moment and feel nothing but joy while doing it made the feeling ever stronger.
While Jessica sat on the piano stool tears spilling on her cheeks, Mr. Zsasz was watching her. A sinister smile lighting up his face. Soon, very soon, he would get what he wanted. Her death at his hands would be the most euphoric experience of his life. It would fill him with the greatest joy as he watched her bright eyes grow dim and lifeless. He would take his time with that one so that he could draw out the short time they would spend together. After her body started to cool she would become nothing but another tally on his body.
He would liberate her from her pointless existence. Free her from the world as he had freed so many others before her. When he died and met her in hell she would thank him, that he was sure of. Thank him for releasing her from the bonds of life. Life was meaningless. There was nothing to it. It was nothing but imprisonment and people were forced to live one day to the next. Liberating her would be the greatest gift he could ever offer her and the greatest gift she would ever receive from anyone.
He, Victor Zsasz, would save her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, there's another chapter. Hope you all enjoyed it. Rates and messages would be greatly appreciated. Thank you very much!