Clutching My Cure

Disclaimer: Not mine. Nope.

Note: Hope the mush doesn't kill ya all. :p


Chapter Twenty-Nine

Obi-Wan awoke feeling as if he’d just been on a week long binge. His head ached so badly it hurt just to blink, his tongue dry and stuck to the roof of his mouth. He moaned pitifully before gingerly shifting his head on the pillow in order to study his companion. A small smile twitched at the corners of his mouth as a soft snore slipped from between the Jedi’s slightly parted lips.

Naked as the day he was born, Bruck slept on his side facing Obi-Wan, cheek resting on a bent arm. His tanned, golden skin and white spiked hair almost seemed to glow in the overhead hololight. He was stunningly attractive, all long limbs and thick muscles, reeking masculinity with enviable ease. Obi-Wan knew it would be all too easy to convince himself that he was in love with the Jedi, that he didn’t need Xanatos or his shallow promises of love. The growing affection and satisfyingly powerful sexual attraction between him and his former nemesis was more than most mated beings shared. But it would never be enough for either of them.

Obi-Wan had grown to care too much for Bruck to allow him to settle for less than he deserved.

Sighing as the damned brooding took hold of him once again, he carefully removed the heavy arm that was slung over his waist and slipped from the bed. The instant he did, Bruck stirred, sleep heavy eyelids lifting to reveal concerned blue irises.

“You okay?”

Obi-Wan couldn’t help but smile at the genuine worry in his lover’s sleepy voice. Bending down, he drank from lips that were always eager to be of service when he so desired. “I’m fine. Just woke up with a raging thirst and decided to go get some water. Want me to bring some back for you?”

Bruck stretched, a hand reaching out to caress a bare thigh. “Ummmm please. And hurry back! This bed is cold without you in it.”

The painfully honest remark had Obi-Wan turning away abruptly, his frantic gaze searching for the pants he’d quickly shed hours ago. Failing to spy them, he grabbed the first thing on hand and had slipped it on before realizing what it was. Conscious of Bruck’s piercing gaze, he cocked his hip forward provocatively and turned a raised eyebrow toward the Jedi as he modeled the brown robe.

“How do I look?”

“Gorgeous,” Bruck admitted with a wistful smile. “Now go.”

Wrapping the robe around his body, Obi-Wan slipped from the room and made his way toward the galley with caution. The last thing he needed right now was to have the Jedi Master catch him wearing his apprentice’s sacred robe. A chuckle was quickly smothered as he envisioned Jinn ripping the garment from his back only to find him bare ass naked underneath. He’d almost pay a months profits to get a chance to see the expression on the old goats face.

He was still chuckling as he found a bottle of cold water in the cooling unit and tossed half of it back. Deciding to save what remained for Bruck, he began the short trek back to the room, careful to listen for any sign of the Jedi Master. Only a meter away from the door he breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed, only to end up jumping in surprise when a deep voice called out to him from the cockpit.

“Obi-Wan?”

Freezing, his hand clenching around the bottle, the young man contemplated ignoring the call but something propelled him to turn around and enter the cramped area. Jinn smiled up at him, a quirked eyebrow the only reaction he made to Obi-Wan’s attire as he waved a hand toward the co-pilots chair.

“Sit and talk with me a bit?”

Perching uncomfortably on the edge of the chair, he turned to watch the stars fly by as he waited for the Jedi to make the first move. He was prepared to defend himself once again about the events of Melida/Daan and was therefore blindsided by Jinn’s words.

“I swore after Xanatos turned to never again open myself to that type of betrayal. I enclosed my heart and emotions behind an impenetrable shield, walking through life half dead already.” The look directed toward Obi-Wan sparkled with humor. “Then you came barreling into my life, smashing that shield with one look as if it were made of feathers. You brought back all of those emotions and the joy and pain that accompanied them.”

Qui-Gon shifted in his chair in order to face Obi-Wan directly. “It was unbearable pain that made me lash out at you on Melida/Daan. Selfish pride made me believe that I was the one wronged and I had every right to just shut you out of my life. I discovered very quickly that I couldn’t have been more wrong. Of course by the time I came to my senses, it was too late. You’d left the planet and the Young swore they had no knowledge of your destination. It was a broken man who returned to Coruscant alone.”

A sheen of what may have been tears clouded the pale blue eyes, the deep voice lost in the past. “I didn’t realize what a powerful impact your leaving had on others until I was forced to tell Master Yoda that I’d lost you. I think that was the first time in the many years I’d known him that I realized he was capable of shedding tears. One single tear and he managed to bring me to my knees with grief.”

Strained silence fell between them, Obi-Wan’s eyes burning as he stared unblinkingly out at the far reaches of space. He hardened his heart against Jinn’s words, careful to retain the cold edge to his emotions that had sustained him over the years. There was little he could do to stem the bleeding of his heart as he recalled with brutal clarity the features of a wizened gnome like creature.

“Why are you telling me this?” His voice was a hoarse croak when he was finally able to force words past the lump in his throat.

Qui-Gon leaned over and wrapped a hand around his trembling arm. “I suppose this is my attempt at an apology. I am sorry Obi-Wan, more than you could ever imagine. I don’t expect you to forgive me, I only ask that you give my words further thought.”

Obi-Wan nodded curtly and rose to his feet with such swiftness, Jinn’s hand was forced to fall away. As he turned to leave the Jedi spoke again and with even more solemnity.

“I don’t want to see Bruck get hurt.”

Pausing in the doorway, Obi-Wan kept his tense back turned toward the Jedi Master as he responded. “Believe it or not, neither do I.”

He hurried away without further explanation, his feet carrying him past the room where Bruck lay waiting. Lungs burning with suppressed sobs, he fled to the solitude of the cargo hold where he sat wedged in between two crates. Knees pulled up to his chest, he threw the bottle against the wall with such force it broke apart, before burying him face in between crossed arms.

The beads of water slowly slid down the wall, mimicking the unseen ones that streamed from his eyes.