Power and Its Vices

In the coffee shop there were a dozen tables with leather chairs, 3 sofas in front of a gas fire and 3 booths. Diane chose a booth close to the door and waited with a latte.

Diane was wearing a subtle outfit meant to identify her but not intimidate. Black jeans, a white tee shirt and a red scarf around her neck, just as she had described in her e-mail. Her hair had grown a bit since the filming of the shoe so Diane had tied it back in a loose ponytail to keep her face visible.
She didn’t want to scare this girl off but she did want to carry a message of importance.
There was more to this lifestyle than the leather and chains, it was about fulfilling your role in life and to nurture those around you. Strength and Power were there yes, but there is a tenderness and compassion as well.

Diane sipped her latte and watched the door, 10 minutes before the arranged time a tall brunette walin tin the door and looked around.

Her hair was long and fine, it floated in the quick breeze that came from the door closing. She had dark brown eyes that had a dreamy look to them as if she wasn’t always in this world.
Her mouth was soft, her lips weren’t in an ever-present pout but they weren’t a thin and harsh line either. There was evidence that a smile would light up her face and charm the room.

The brunette spotted Diane and blushed, she nodded before going to the counter and ordering her drink. Afterwards she came and sat down in front of Diane, putting the table between them.

“10 minutes early good start” Diane said with a smile. Sarah’s coffee arriand and the waitress left.
“I’m assuming you are Ms. Williams” Diana said before sipping her drink.
“Call me Sarah,” the nervous woman said automatically.
“Well Sarah,” Diane continued “Firstly I’m glad you came. You can relax; no one here knows what I do or who you are. For all they know we are old friends meeting up for coffee.” She smiled. “And I think you are being very brave and have taken a big step. This isn’t an easy thing to come into. Most people are afraid of leaving the vanilla lifestyle.”
“Vanilla?”
“Think of life like ice cream. What are the first flavours you think of?”
“Chocolate, Vanilla and Strawberry.”
“Exactly vanilla is the norm, with out any thrills frills and extras. It is the simple monogamous relationship, people dress it up but it is still vanilla underneath.”
“Oh”
“You are here because it isn’t you. I’m here because it isn’t me.”
“Well.” Sarah hesitated.
“I wasn’t always like this. But I always wanted it. I was a rebellious teenager, ignoring my parents, didn’t’ fit in at school. I held myself above people and they thought I was a snob.”
Sarah nodded identifying wihe dhe dome.
“Then I found the lifestyle, the hard way. But I came out of it and promised myself that if I could I would teach people who wanted to know in a gentile and caring way. Most don’t.

“That is why the website and you appearance on television?” Sarah Asked.
“Yes, some people just grab a whip and a gag and call themselves masters. They tend to be cold and cruel and hurt more than they help. It ruins most people’s images of the lifestyle.”
“But you had a man on a leash.”
“He was an actor. I do have clients who like being treated like that, but I wouldn’t expose them like that. IT would be heartless.”
Diane saw Sarah visibly relax during her speech and knew she had a willing pupil.
“Is there anything you want to ask Sarah?”
Together they talked for a few hours until their coffees were empty and then they exchanged phone numbers and parted their ways.

Sarah swung past a bookstore on the way home and got one of the books Diane had recommended. She blushed when the sales girl rung it through, but slipped in into a plastic bag and walked home.

She was so excited; Diane had put here at ease and made Sarah feel relaxed. It would be a valued learning experience for Sarah.

She got home and threw the plastic bag on the sofa before going into the kitchen to get herself a soft drink.
The summer was turning into a hot one and Sarah was feeling the heat. She went out into the garden and sat down under the large tree that dominated the yard.

As she enjoyed her drink Sarah remembered her promise to Hoggle. She mentally called him and whispered his name to the breeze.

Hoggle was there quiet and unassuming. He sat beside Sarah under the tree and waited.
“You well?” he eventually asked.
“Oh Hoggle!” She laughed suddenly a 15-year-old girl again. “I’ve found it!”
“Found it? You mean him don’t you?” Hoggle asked guarding his feelings. He hated coming to Sarah when she had found a new man. Hoggle was always jealous of the men in her life; they could be with her when ever. Hoggle had to wait until she called him.
“No, IT” Sarah got up on her knees, “I found what I want. I don’t want a sensitive caring man. I have you for that.” Hoggle blushed and looked down trying to hide the prin hin his eyes.
“I don’t’ want a protector, Sir Dydiamus is that. I don’t need a muscular man I have Ludo.” Hoggle looked up when Sarah paused. There was a shine in her eyes, a fever, like she had taken a sip of an intoxicating wine and wanted more.
“Hoggle” she took his hands, “I want control, I want power, I want” Hoggle’s face paled and pulled away from Sarah.
“HIM” Hoggle’s eyes widened. “You want him at your feet, you want to take over!” He backed away suddenly wary is ois of friend.

Sarah saw the fear in his eyes and rushed to console him. “No! No, Hoggle Not him. He has never been, wait I lie, I did once Hoggle, but I know that was a dream I don’t want that dream Hoggle because in that dream I didn’t have control. He did.” She reached out to the dwarf.
“I want to face the world aware and strong Hoggle. That is all. I don’t need a man to fufill my life. I want to do it myself.” She sighed when he stayed out of reach.
“There was one time where I knew I could do it. One moment when I was strong. I want that all the time.”

“When you stood up to him.” He said fading from view. “Sarah you want HIM.” And he was gone.

Sarah looked at the space where her friend once stood. Hoggle’s reaction bothered her. What did he mean? Why was he so scared?
Sarah had confided in him honestly and he accused her of wanting the Goblin King.
The idea had never crossed her mind. She only wanted the confidence Diane showed. Sarah remembered feeling that confidence before, and yes, he had been there when she felt it. But he wasn’t the soul reason of that feeling. Sarah was sure of it.

Most of the time in the Labyrinth Sarah had been terrified of the arrogant king. He intimidated her and made her feel week. Hoggle and her other friends helped her; she had found strength when she finally confronted him.
That moment when she realized she was in control of her life, responsible for her action, and aware of the world, was still a moving memory. She had transformed from a terrified spoilt brat to a confidant woman.

In the years since she had forgotten that lesson. She became lulled into complacency by the trials and mundanaty of the world around her.

Sarah didn’t desire Him, she hadn’t thought of him in that way since her first serious boyfriend. That boy’s careless fumbling and teenagers groping grew into something finer shortly after they had started dating. Sarah didn’t think of it them but she had taken the lease and taught him what she wanted. Ever present in her memory were the echoes of the king’s touches, his whispers, her dreams.
Then when the boy left her she turned away from the memories and expectations she had. IT seemed she would never achieve what she wanted and then she forgot.
She had let her stepmother talk her into finding a nice boy and that is what brought her to w she she was now.

Sarah got up and left the shade of the tree. In the Harsh Glare of the afternoon sun she reminded herself of the goblin King and her fantasies.

She would picture him dancing with her, comforting her outside of the cruel and obscene ballroom. But always the dream was unfulfilled. He would say, “Love me, Dos as I say and I will be your slave.” And she would turn and run away. Her dreams never got further than a chaste dance and a vow.

She didn’t want vows and dances, she didn’t want to be swept off her feet and taken away.
Hoggle was wrong, Plain and simple, he just didn’t understand.