The Adventures of Leigh and Leia: The Labyrinth

Disclaimer: The Labyrinth and attending characters do not belong to us. We're just borrowing them for awhile, would that we could in RL. They belong solely to Jim Henson....gotta love those muppets. Any characters that weren't in the movie are probably our creation, so please don't borrow without permission. That said, enjoy the show...er story.

**Author's Note** This fanfic is a joint effort by Gaeliceyes and Yomibitorazo. This Chapter begins their real journey through the Labyrinth. We took our cue from the movie and decided that the Labyrinth forms itself based on the individual running it, so Leigh and Leia will be meeting things and people that resemble things in their lives and imagination. (Remember how the things sarah ran into were also in her RL bedroom?) They might still meet up with a couple of old friends from the movie too...we haven't decided yet.

A glossary is provided at the end of this chapter.


Friends Come First


“Stop following me.”

“Stalker!”

“Stop following me!”

“Stalker!”

“Damn it! Stop following me!”

“I’m not following you! You’re antishi-antish…stealing where I’m going!” Leigh slurred angrily. She stopped walking long enough to kick at a stone wall and stick a tongue out at Leia's back.

Much to the surprise of the two women the huge gates into the Labyrinth had been standing open when they arrived. Mildly disappointed that they wouldn't be meeting the irrascable Hoggle, they had wandered inside. Now Leigh stumbled along behind Leia down an all too familiar endless corridor, each gingerly poking at the slimy walls, looking for the secret turns they knew must be there somewhere. Lack of success was leading to some irritability.

“Steal this!” Leia picked up a long dead branch, swinging it wildly at Leigh. Leigh dodged, stumbling backwards.

“God damn, mother-fucking! Crazy weeeeeeeeench……….” Leigh trailed off into a startled squeak as she fell through the still solid looking stone wall that moments earlier had made contact with her shoe.

Leia rushed forward to follow, succeeding only in crashing spectacularly into the slimy stones. She tottered back, dazedly, stick still in hand. She pitched forward, but jerked herself upright, overbalancing. As she flailed about, the stick became entangled with her legs. Leia tripped, falling sideways through the wall opposite where her friend had disappeared.

“Bucking fastard,” she shrieked on her way down.


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Leigh windmilled her arms as she fell backward, trying desperately to regain her balance, but to no avail. Her vehement tirade against Leia was cut short by a shriek as she fell. With a grunt she landed on her back, but was surprised to note that it didn’t hurt. Instead of landing on the hard and rocky ground, she was enveloped in a soft white cloud. She gazed in a roughly upward trajectory having landed sprawled on her back. The wall through which she had tumbled was a surprising 10 feet above her on the edge of a sheer cliff.

“Well hell, I knew I should’ve taken rock climbing in high school,” she muttered after regaining her breath. Leigh rolled her head to the side, realizing that she lay in a nest of feathers and sticks. Really…big…feathers. After a moment of rest, Leigh forced herself to move to the edge to peer over. Back into the white nest turning, all her gut within her burning, the red haired woman desperately tried to keep her stomach from her throat, overtaken by drunken vertigo.

“Where’s the Emergency Exit when you need one?” she asked weakly of no one in particular. A shrill screech echoed off the cliff face in answer, far too close for her comfort. She wondered what Leia was up to.

Meanwhile…

Leia landed with an undignified “oomph”, flat on her face.

“No more drinking games,” she promised herself. “When I get home, absolutely no more drinking games.” Chanting this made her feel marginally better to the point that she felt that she could try to get up.

Leia flopped over onto her back, opening her eyes to observe her surroundings and promptly screamed “Hentai!” her hand flying out to make contact with the offender’s face, a creature leaning curiously over her prone form.

She scrambled quickly to her feet, moving away from the red-haired kitsune who was momentarily stunned by her action.

“Jesus! Don’t stand over a girl like that! It’s creepy,” Leia babbled. “Oh, yeah, sorry about smacking you. But seriously, you shouldn’t have done…that…” She trailed off as green eyes focused on her. “Hi!” She stuck out her hand. “I’m Leia and you are?”

“…” It looked at her blankly.

“Look, I said sorry. It was a misunderstanding, you know?”

“Do you do that to everyone you meet, or am I just special?” Its voice was masculine in a childish way, adding to the all around youthful impression. He stood no more than four feet tall, ruby red hair falling in thick waves down his back. His feet were similar to the hind legs of a fox, Leia gazed fixedly at them for a moment before moving on to the prize. A tail, several tails actually. The tails which moved constantly making counting difficult, were colored in varying shades of red with gold streaks. His ears were pointed, fingers tipped with claws.

Leia knew that before her stood a kitsune youkai, a fox demon of Japanese mythology. It then occurred to her that the Labyrinth knew what the runner knew, it fed on the runner’s imagination, and adjusted itself accordingly. Her brown eyes focused again on the tails before squealing, “Kawaii!”

The kitsune appeared unnerved at the outburst and took an uneasy step back.

Elsewhere...

Leigh looked around cautiously, searching for the source of the eerie scream. A moment later she caught sight of a dark smudge against the sky, and it was coming closer. Soon enough it came into focus, a giant eagle with golden feathers and a lethally sharp beak. It was headed right toward her. Leigh watched it swoop down toward her with wide eyes, frozen in momentary fear, before snapping out of it and looking around frantically for a way down. All she saw was empty air. Her head snapped back up, and saw that the creature was only a few yards away now, it’s giant claws outstretched toward her.

She opened her mouth to scream bloody murder, as if that would somehow aid her situation, when she was suddenly surrounded by flying, white feathers. A strong wind accompanied the feathery storm, and she stumbled to her knees. A moment later she was blown over the edge of the nest. She managed to grab hold of the side, forestalling a long drop and sudden stop, but could do nothing more than dangle there helplessly.

Looking up, all she could see for a few moments was a welter of flying feathers, both white and gold, until the eagle suddenly shot up and away as fast as its wings could carry it. The now listless feathers drifted down into her eyes and mouth, and she spent a few precious moments spitting them out, shaking her head to and fro. When her vision had finally cleared, she looked up and nearly let go in shock as she stared down the length of a gleaming white, and very sharp, horn, protruding from the forehead of an irritated looking horse.

“Fu…” she whimpered faintly.

The mythical creature watched her for a long moment. Leigh in turn just gaped in incredulous stupor, or maybe it was fear. She whimpered again when it leaned in closer to her, hot puffs of breath caressing her face and blowing back her hair.

She managed to stifle a scream when it came closer still then grabbed her shirt between its teeth; its large, powerful teeth…and pulled. It lifted her bodily from her precarious position, leaving her hanging in thin air with arms and legs flailing wildly. Her drink fuzzed brain tried to make sense of it all.

First of all it was bigger than any other horse Leigh had ever seen, which struck her as strange. Shouldn’t it be smaller? Practically speaking shouldn’t a flying horse, even one with an apparent 20-foot wing span, be smaller than the average half-ton equine in order to more efficiently balance the lift to drag coefficient? On the other hand, the ones in "Fantasia" flew fine, and they seemed pretty large, although the little ones were cute. Why couldn’t this one be little, and cute…and powder blue, like a “My Little Pony”? On the other, other hand, she had always loved that big horse that Rainbow Brite used to ride through space. What was its name? Wasn’t it…

Her train of thought was rudely interrupted when it unceremoniously released its hold on her, dropping her back into the nest. She shook the feathers out of her hair and scrambled to her feet rather gawkishly.

“You’re one of those things!” she exclaimed articulately. “A winged horse thingy, a Pegasus! But you also have a horn, like a unicorn… I know a Unisus!” She faltered under the creature’s disdainful gaze. “A Pegicorn? No? Umm… What about Bob? Yeah, I think you look like a ‘Bob’.” Leigh concluded, enjoying the disconcerted look in its eyes. “Alright Bob, how do I get down from here?” Begin as you mean to go on, she always said. It was obvious she would have to be forceful in her dealings with Bob. One must always be sure an animal knew who was in charge, or they would walk all over you…er…fly that is.

An uncomfortable silence developed, during which Leigh shuffled her feet glancing over the side of the nest. Bob stared at her unblinkingly. She awkwardly cleared her throat.

“So…” she glanced over the side again. “How ‘bouts you give me a lift…down…to the ground…Safely!” she qualified, holding up one finger for emphasis. “Seeing as how you have wings and all, you’ll go to the ground eventually, right? Yes? No? Maybe…?” She trailed off as he seemed to glare at her. “And,” she started again, “it seems an equable solution to having your nest vacated, right? Yes? No? Maybe? And you don’t want me around forever, right? I mean, I don’t do windows, or floors, or dishes…or laundry for that matter.” She was focused inwardly and failed to notice his approach. “Actually I don’t do anythiiiiiiiiiiing!”

Her voice trailed off into a terrified scream, for during her inattentive rambling ‘Bob’ had ducked his head in exasperation and punted her over the side and into the empty air. And just as suddenly as she had begun her decent she stopped, finding herself draped like a sack of potatoes over the Pegicorn’s back.

“See Bob,” she said shakily, “I knew we’d get along.” Bob, with his passenger, circled lazily to the ground.

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**Author's Note**

Lady of Shallotte,
Thanks for the review. We hope the rest of the story continues to amuse.

If you haven't reviewed, shame on you! But we forgive you, so please keep reading!

Glossary

Hentai ~ No, it's not just anime porn! In this context it basically means "pervert".

Kawaii ~ "How Cute!"