Reality

III

Anakin woke up but decided not to open his eyes, his mind kind of confused. He was lying on a comfortable bed, his probably and still, his body told him that he was tired and hurt. Happenings from… how long had it been? reached his mind in the form of fast images, making worse the pain of some of his deeper wounds.

He decided to open his eyes just to be sure of his surroundings, but the sunlight made him cover his face with one hand. He half closed his eyes and took his arm away, trying to adapt himself to the rays of light that came from the windows of what was, indeed, his room at the Jedi Temple.

He raised a little, regretting it when he felt a stab of pain on his right side. He took his eyes to his abs, finding a scar that went through his stomach from his pelvis to his ribcage; he remembered it, a deep painful cut he hadn't expected. And a pair of arms, a pair of strong arms that had gotten him out of there.

"You're awake", whispered a soft voice

Anakin looked at the door where Obi-wan watched him with a severe expression, the one that he used to wear when, still as padawan and master, he did something stupid. A lecture was going to welcome him home, but perhaps this time he deserved it.

Obi-wan crossed his arms on his chest and, with a slow pace, reached Anakin's bed and sited on its edge still wearing that authoritarian expression, pressing his lips in that way Anakin had feared when younger.

"What you did was imprudent", started Obi-wan, "it was dangerous, useless, a complete and utter stupidity, I hope you know that", Anakin just nodded while he stared at his hands, "look at me, Anakin", it was automatic, blue eyes facing… grayish green ones? Anakin had never been able to define that color, "you will never do something like this again, do you understand? I've spent the worst two days of my life looking for you, hearing Mace's voice in my head repeating that you were probably dead. I don't care what you were looking for, what happened to you or what you needed, you will never do something like this to me again, do you hear me, the master's voice was severe, but a explosion of feelings went on behind it

There is no emotion; there is peace. But the truth was Obi-wan hadn't had a second of peace ever since Anakin had entered his life.

The younger one took his eyes from his former master, leaning his forehead into his shoulder, allowing himself a sigh when he felt Obi-wan's hand on his hair.

"I… I had to forget Obi-wan" , he said, "I was drowning"

"Do you feel any better?"

"No, master, but…"

"No buts, Anakin", cut Obi-wan, "never look for healing on strangers. If you're lucky it won't work, in worse cases all you might get are reopened wounds", unconsciously, Obi-wan's thumb caressed Anakin's right eyebrow where his old scar wearied a new wound

"I know", Anakin raised his head, looking for Obi-wan's eyes, "but… it's just that", he took a trembling hand to Obi-wan's face, caressing one cheek with just his fingertips, "I can't… I can't do this anymore"

"It can't be, Anakin"

"I know, but it's not fair"

Obi-wan nodded, taking Anakin's hand in his, wishing it stopped trembling. He lowered his gaze to the entwined fingers, not being able to avoid the thought that, indeed, that was real and perhaps, the only thing that mattered. He raised his eyes again and when he looked at Anakin, he decided to stop thinking.

Not giving himself a second to doubt, he leaned close to Anakin, joining their lips together. Their tongues played with conviction, as an affirmation that nothing would stop this. Obi-wan's movements were slow but firm, Anakin's more aggressive and urgent.

There is no passion; there is serenity. Obi-wan wanted to run to the Council room, stand in the middle, in front of everybody and scream there is passion, there is emotion, there is love and feelings as pure as those can't be a source of evil. But the truth was Obi-wan had decided to forget about the Council because his lips were playing with Anakin's, one of his hand caressing his naked chest while the other one stayed entwined with the other man's real one.

Obi-wan couldn't suppress a surprised sound when Anakin's cold metal hand went inside his robes, touching his chest.

"Is it cold?", whispered Anakin with a half smile, "it will get warmer"

Obi-wan nodded, taking his kisses to Anakin's neck while he started to free him of his upper clothing, showing quickly his naked chest. Anakin moved the sheet that was separating him from his master to the side when Obi-wan made the first movement to lye down. He leaned back a little and Obi-wan stood up, took of his boots and, slowly, put all of his weight an Anakin, getting a painful sound from him.

"I'm sorry", he whispered, caressing with his thumb the scar that went through his stomach

"It's all…", but the Obi-wan's tongue substituted his finger, to which Anakin had to gasp

Obi-wan smiled over Anakin's chest, taking his mouth to one of his dark nipples. One of his hands descended to his pelvis, stopping at his pulse point, while the other one went to Anakin's mouth. Panting, Anakin's tongue darted outside his mouth caressing Obi-wan's fingertips, getting a surprised moan from him. Raising his head a little he put part of the fingers into his mouth, never stopping to lick the fingertips. Obi-wan took his hand away, substituting it with his lips, melting into a more needy kiss.

Both of his hands went to the other man's waist, descending later to get rid of Anakin's pants. Anakin arched his back, allowing him to take of the piece of clothing easily. He had to separate from the kiss when Obi-wan's hand surrounded his erection firmly, making him bite his lip not to scream. At that moment, he put one of his legs around the other man's waist and, with a fast movement, he got on top.

Obi-wan became an incoherent mass of moans, groans and half words because suddenly, Anakin's lips and hands were everywhere, caressing, kissing, licking, repeating actions in addictive circles, making him say his name over and over again.

Anakin took advantage of the other man's movements to take off his last peace of clothing, both screaming when all their bodies made direct contact. Unconsciously, they started a rocking movement between their bodies while continuing with their caresses, kisses and moans. All Obi-wan could do was repeat Anakin's name.

This was real, this and not long afternoons getting cold under the rain. The only reality Anakin wanted to live in was one in which Obi-wan repeated his name again and again, his name and not a useless Code, his name and not some inhuman rules, his name and just his name.

They both knew there was no other act that could defy more their living way, but this was intimate and sensual. Anakin looked at Obi-wan, and both knew that was the truth, not the repressed diplomat master Kenobi or the powerful and aggressive knight Skywalker, but that tangible necessity of leaving every Mask in favor of something deeper.

A few moments later, Anakin took his fingers to Obi-wan's entrance, but he took them away.

"It doesn't matter", he whispered, looking into his eyes, "just… just…"

That was all he could say, because a wave of pleasure went trough him when Anakin penetrated him. He stayed still a few seconds, entwining his real hand with one of Obi wan's strong enough for his knuckles to turn white.

He started a slow rhythm, making it stronger, faster and harder by the second. He buried his face on Obi-wan's neck, shivering when he felt his fast breathing on his skin. Obi-wan let Anakin mark the movement, imitating it to make the contact firmer, whispering his name in his ear, gripping his back as if afraid of loosing him.

When the orgasm reached Anakin, he searched the other one's mouth, biting his lower lip strongly when Obi-wan finished between their stomachs. While their breathings slowed down, Anakin licked the blood that was coming out of Obi-wan's lip, kissing him later.

He pulled out and moved a little to the side, leaning his head on Obi-wan's chest and putting a possessive arm around his waist. Obi-wan buried one hand in the light curls, taking his gaze to the big windows.

"It's raining", he whispered, his voice hoarse

"If you stay here I don't care anymore"

"Anakin…", sighed Obi-wan, "it's complicated, this can't be", once the dream was over, reality came talking about consequences

"Excuse me?", the younger one lifted his face, looking for Obi-wan's eyes, "it can't be?"

"You know it"

"This is not a question of knowledge, Obi-wan!", exclaimed Anakin, "this has existed for years, it hasn't happened because we decided to accept the Code, but now… you can't, you can't say this!"

"Anakin, our lives have never been guided by our whishes, we can't let go now", Obi-wan raised to a sitting position, searching for a way to shut down the explosion of feelings that went behind Anakin's eyes

"I… I"

But that's all he said. He stood up abruptly and, putting his pants on, he left the room with strong steps. Obi-wan wasn't sure at which point he had left the bed, but he put on his own pants and went looking out for Anakin. He wasn't surprised when he found him in the balcony, rain drops caressing his naked chest.

He walked to him, not paying attention to the water, stopping next to him.

"Why?", whispered Anakin

"Because you needed it… because I needed it, but it's not real Anakin"

"Yes, it is!", he raised his face to look at his master, tears confusing with raindrops, "it's the only thing in my life that has been real, and all you wanted was a quick fuck! You could have saved me this, I don't want to be your whore, Obi-wan", he was willing to say more, but a much too soft slap caressed his face

"Don't you talk to me like that", Obi-wan's breathing was fast and his movements shaky, but he put his hands on Anakin's face and forced him to look at him, "I love you, you know it Anakin, I love you, but it can't be", Obi-wan wondered where had his necessity to defy the Order gone, "it can't be"

Anakin nodded, leaning his cheek on Obi-wan's shoulder and embracing his waist.

"Will you love me forever?", he whispered

"Always"

"There is no emotion, there is peace"

"Anakin…"

"There is no struggle, there is acceptance. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion…"

"Anakin, please"

"There is serenity. There is no death, there is the Force… they are just words, Obi-wan"

"They are much more that that and you know it, Anakin", Obi-wan sighed, looking for a better explanation, "you… you said that you used the rain to feel real… the Code is real, is our reality, our life, our…"

"Suffering", cut Anakin, "our repression, our hypocrisy", Anakin took Obi-wan's hand and put it on his chest, pressing his palm so he could feel his fast heartbeat, "do you feel this?"

"Yes, I do"

"This is real… kiss me, Obi-wan"

And he did. Under the rain, their lips met slowly, their bodies hugged strongly feeling every part of the other one on their skin. Obi-wan forgot the Code, Anakin forgot the rain. And there was just reality.

FIN