Inferno's Children

Title: Inferno's Children - A Day in the Life...
Author: Hellborne (the_ferret_mom@yahoo.com)
Age Rating: 17+

Disclaimer: Characters, if you saw them in the movie, not mine. See the Mouse. Story, mine, but I make no money. He does, but not on this.

Typing convention: / is used for thoughts. # is used for speaking in French. * - * - * is used for scene changes and passages of time.

Summary: Three lives, one fire, and the scars they bear for the rest of their life.

Warnings: H/C, Angst, Het, Non-Con

Betas: The two greatest BetaGoddesses in the world, Pendragginink and Littlebird! You're both truly magnificent, and I wouldn't be able to write half as well without you!

NOTE: I live for reviews. Being quite depressed lately about my health and missing my job, I could really use some reviews...and don't think I'm begging for kudos! I happen to love flames and constructive criticism just as much and sometimes more! Lord knows, without constructive criticism, I'd have never fixed some of the boo-boos I've made!

* - * - * - * - * - * - * - *

Chapter 3 - The Black Pearl - May 15th, 1722

"Sail Ho!"

"Where away?"

"Two points off starboard bow."

Jack snapped open his spyglass and aimed it in the direction the lookout pointed. Well, sure enough, white sails and a French flag could be seen. He grinned golden. The French merchants were his favorites; always trying to bring the best of Europe over to the New World; and he loved the way they moaned and squealed as he pillaged their cargos. /They ought to be honored...it isn't everyone as gets plundered by the best, after all./ "Ana! She's French! Ready the guns to disable only. I want EVERYTHING on that ship! This'll be a grand haul, Ana. I can feel it!"

The guns were readied with chain shot as the Pearl drew closer to her prey. Finally, Jack could wait no longer. He ordered two extra jibs set and the sweeps hauled out, and with a little effort, pulled fully ahead of the ship and crossed her T, cutting across her bow and firing the cannons in line, one after the other down the length of the merchant ship.

While all of them did damage, one set of the chain-linked cannonballs hit its mark square; the mainmast went down aft, rendering the mizzen and jigger useless by tearing off the spars on one side, pulling the tangled rigging and various enmeshed French crewmembers down with them. At that point, Jack took his time getting the Pearl into boarding position. He was surprised that the other ship didn't attempt to fire at them even once, but instead had the crew assembled and lined up on deck, drawn to attention and apparently unarmed.

Once the grapples were secured and the ships fastened together, Jack tied off the wheel and hopped over to the other ship, where his men had surrounded the miserable French crew, now visibly quaking in their boots. He purposefully strode across the deck until he reached the captain, swaggering up to him, stepping close and crossing into the man's personal space as he was wont to do. "Mate, I'm not complainin', ye understan', but why the fast surrender?" When the captain looked confused, Jack repeated it in fluent French.

The French captain bowed. #Captain Sparrow, I have no desire for bloodshed, and the rumors of the Black Pearl say that you are a good man, neither bloodthirsty, nor cruel, for a pirate, and that a quick surrender can save many if not everyone's lives.#

#Right those rumors are, too, Mate, you've made an excellent decision. You have my word that no one shall be harmed. Would you care to enlighten me, Sir, as to the contents of your hold? It would make our job ever so much easier, and speed things up considerable; it'd put me in an excellent frame of mind, which would, in turn, free you and your crew the sooner.#

He looked at the "crew": men and women, and several children, mostly yeomen stock but a few in clothing worn by the gentry. #You're NOT a merchant ship, are you.# It was a statement.

The captain of the ship agreed. #No Sir, we are not. Not on this trip, at any rate. We are bringing eighteen families to settle Guadeloupe, joining relatives who preceded them to the colony. We have none of the usual merchant goods that you would be interested in.#

#I'll be the judge of that; ye never know what might come in handy. I'll take a look at it, anyway. These people obviously ain't rich, but some seem wealthy enough and it might just be lucrative anyway.# With that, Jack went below to the hold followed by several of his men.

When they emerged, it was with a large barrel and several heavy shipping cartons. Jack was wearing three strings of pearls around his neck. #You were honest with me, right enough, Captain. So you can see we've taken only the most valuable items of the lot, and I did make sure to leave the personal effects alone. Would you do me the honor of dining aboard my ship, Sir? We set a fine table, if I do say so myself, and shall serve you a rather good repast, even though we are not quite up to the so excellent culinary skills of the average Frenchmen and IN SPITE of being English.# Both men laughed heartily.

#But certainly, Captain Sparrow. It will be my pleasure to dine with you, Messieurs, I shall enjoy your best, if ever so humble efforts at hospitality, such as they are. It would be very rude of me to refuse, and I, Sir, am French. We are never rude. Our skills in that quarter, I sadly fear, cannot possibly be compared with the level of expertise reached by even the least accomplished of Englishmen.# Both men laughed heartily again.

/As for rudeness, ye bloody Frog, that was it; at least the British don't pee in the corners of their palaces; nearly every man at Versailles does that except the king, who of course, has his own private water 'throne'. Private, HA! What a corker! He has a permanent audience in there of at least fifty fawning attendants. At Whitehall, now, English courtiers have the nicety of manners to 'take care of business' properly on street corners, instead of in the corners of the room. Ah, well, you French lot always were noted for Gaul./ Jack couldn't help smirking at his private joke.

The French captain offered snuff; Jack refused courteously. The Frenchman stifled a grimace, then indulged alone, tucking the snuff box away with an exaggerated flourish in Jack's face. #It is strange, is it not, Captain, that the French have so taken to the snuff while the English have not?#

#Oh, it isn't that the English don't enjoy tobacco, Captain; it is but to laugh is it not, that instead of having the fashionably refined taste of stuffing it up our noses, we English prefer to simply stick tobacco in our mouths and set it on fire?#

"Voyons." The French captain nodded appreciatively, smiling indulgently at the inexplicable nonsense of cultural difference, graciously choosing not to take offense at the unconscionable rebuff of his friendly offer to share snuff, an unforgivable faux pas by the pirate, to be sure, proving beyond a doubt, once again, that the French were civilized and the English were not.

Jack noted that the French captain wiped his nose on his sleeve after sneezing all over his own deck AND Jack's feet. As a good host, Jack chose not to take umbrage and thus, did not immediately kill the Frenchman where he stood by skewering him like a grouse and carving him into a brisket, even if the man did deserve it. /Frog snot! Bloody HELL, now I got ta burn mah boots. Ye stand on manners only when food is offered, Frenchman. Other than that, you're as rude as they come./

#So we shall dine together. Most excellent. I'm sure you'll enjoy this meal more than the most festive Christmas dinner ever served at Versailles.# /I know I will. Sorry, but I can't resist, mate. I'm gonna serve ye the wrong wine for each course of the meal and enjoy watching ye squirm as ye'll have to drink it just to be polite./

In anticipation of that sweet moment Jack turned to the passengers in a mood of good cheer, which unfortunately didn't last long; he suddenly noticed one individual in particular and started, standing frozen in shock for a moment, but recovered almost immediately, his face a mask of studied indifference.

#Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for your contributions to the civilization and beautification of the Caribbean. After all, if it were not for you colonists and your fine gifts, there would be far fewer ships for us to plunder and far more flotsam and jetsam floating around in these pristine waters to say nothing of general debris and miscellaneous dead bodies, and I know you'd not wish that.#

He bowed, worthy of a Cavalier, and ushered the French captain over to the Pearl and into the main cabin while his riggers and topmen started making repairs on the disabled ship. Jack briefly considered ordering that the jewel-blocks be installed upside-down and backward on the yards and the coils of line flemished to tangle when run out, but there were limits after all and there was the reputation of both his crew and the skills of the English seaman in general to consider.

* - * - *

"Three days leave, mates, then we're headin' out again!" Jack tied off the wheel and slid down the ladder to the quarterdeck. "Gibbs!"

The older man appeared almost by magic. "Aye, Cap'n?"

Jack produced a small purse, tossing it to Gibbs. "Drink a couple for me, mate. I think I'll just stay aboard this time." He turned, heading for his cabin.

Gibbs was immediately alert. "What's wrong, Jack? You were in such high spirits before we took that French ship. What's happened to ruin yer fine mood so horribly?"

"Nothing, really. One of the passengers just looked a bit familiar is all." /Familiar enough that I could show you the license is all!/ "Just a fleeting resemblance, really." /A fleeting resemblance my arse. Just the mother of my children, really. No wonder I recognized that huge, black oak headboard in the hold. I've stared at it enough./ Jack nearly shuddered, remembering. "No doubt a coincidence." /No doubt at all she'll come looking for me now that she knows I'm alive. Bloody Hell. Bloody Loraine. I wonder why the boys weren't with her? Probably ran off as soon as they were old enough to get away from her./ "I'll see you in three days, Joshamee, unless you get bored, o' course."

Gibbs grinned. "Unlikely chance o' that, Cap'n. I'll see you Friday, then, Sir."

Jack winked. "Aye. Keep the men from destroying too much of the town, eh?" He grinned and strode into his cabin, letting the doors close behind him. /She's a mean one when she's riled, and she looked plenty riled on that ship. Let's hope I'm still alive and alone at the end of the three days, mate./

* - * - *

"Francois? Are you there?" The voice was undoubtedly Loraine's. Jack's blood turned cold and drained into his boots.

/I'm doomed./

He just knew she'd show up before long. The men wouldn't be back until the next evening...probably to find his bloody corpse, dismembered and rotting on his bunk. He kept his hand on his sword as he opened the door to welcome his wife. "Loraine! What a pleasant surprise. How have you been, love?"

The woman standing there was not smiling. Her hands were on her hips and she was tapping her foot. "I hear from you not one word for twenty years and you dare to ask me how I have been?! Francois, I thought you were DEAD. Yet here you are, my husband, a pirate: a thief and a murderer. How could you do this to me?!" Jack winced as she began to screech at him, very shrill. "To your children! You bring me such shame that I can no longer face my relatives, OH, I shall go mad!, for fear they have heard of you! So, Francois, what are you going to do about it, eh???!!!"

/Definitely Loraine. I'd recognize those dulcet tones from Hell./ "Love, no one but you could possibly know, so you have no shame. Francois is dead. Sent to his grave twenty years ago, killed by pirates. Call me Jack. That IS my name now; Captain Jack Sparrow."

"Ah. You changed your name to show that you've flown from the nest, eh, Francois? Jack. That suits you better. Jack-Ass, if I have my English correctly."

"Aye, Loraine, you do. What do you really want? I left everything to you. You're quite rich, love, unless you've spent it all, which should have been very difficult, even for YOU, darling. So what do you want of me? Another title? Sorry, the only title I have now is 'Captain', and I'm right happy to have just the one. More money? I own a tavern up the hill there, called the Faithful Bride. I bought it last year. It's all yours, luv, if that's what you're after. All I want is my freedom." /...from YOU, my dear wife...from YOU./

"I want my husband back. There is nothing more that I want but you, my dear Francois. You have had enough fun playing pirate. So! You will come home with me now." Jack was incredulous; Loraine actually looked serious. He had always thought she'd want to kill him. He wasn't sure which reaction he'd have preferred.

"And what do the boys think of this? Or have you not told them about it? I didn't see them on that ship."

"They were there. You did not recognize them, of course, because they are not children anymore. Did you think they would not have changed in twenty years? Fool! Both of them want their father back. They do not care that you are a pirate. So...pack your things, take your 'shares' or whatever you call them, and come with me. Our sons are waiting at that tavern you say is yours."

/Bloody Hell./ "Love, I can't leave until someone comes back to watch the ship. This is Tortuga; the ship would be stripped completely without someone onboard to guard it."

"Francois, the stories of the notorious Black Pearl alone will keep it safe. You have done a fine job of giving it a very ominous reputation." Loraine drew and cocked a pistol, aiming it without error at Jack's chest. "Come now, Francois. It is time to face your sons...you will speak to the boys and explain how it is that you abandoned them."

Jack hemmed and hawed, leaving the Pearl deserted was out, of course, but he finally agreed to see his sons on the condition Loraine return to the Bride and convince the most sober crewman she could find to return to the ship; she came back with Mr. Cotton, who, though silent on the matter, nevertheless raised his eyebrows at Jack whenever Loraine's back was turned. To the refrain of Cotton's parrot trilling "set her on her beam" and "blast her amidships" Jack reluctantly preceded Loraine down the gangplank.

* - * - *

At the Faithful Bride, Loraine pointed towards two handsome young men drinking ale; Jack joined them at their table. "Before you start in, my name is Jack. Captain Jack Sparrow, and I'll thank you gentlemen, not to use any other...especially in this establishment." He waved at Ana, who appeared to be at least two sheets to the wind as she tottered from one table of his men to another, toasting whoever would buy her a drink and 'accidentally' knocking their tankards of rum in their laps if they wouldn't. Jack loved it when she was happy.

The younger of the two young men shrugged. "If that's what you want to be called...Jack." His accent was British, not French, which confused Jack for a moment. Then he remembered looking into it several years before; the boys had been sent to The Hague for their education. They no doubt spoke as many languages as he did.

The older boy grinned. Jack could definitely see himself in that grin. "Jack, not that we wouldn't understand and even approve wholeheartedly, but why did you leave mother when we were mere tots? And why didn't you take us with you?"

Jack shrugged. "I couldn't stay. The sea called to me and I answered. I hadn't planned on staying land bound so long, and your mother knew it. And a ship is no place for young whelps, boys. I couldn't take you."

"But when your ship sank...we thought you were dead."

Jack decided to avoid the nasty details and pointedly changed the subject. "So what are you two up to? Still with your mother? Or have you gotten smart and run away, escaped from her but decided to return just to help her recapture me?"

That statement in itself told both of his sons why he had never sent word either of his survival or his whereabouts.

The older of the two puffed up, proud. "I've been accepted as a magistrate in Guadeloupe."

"Wonderful. So if I'm arrested for piracy in Guadeloupe you could be the one to order the hanging, eh?"

The boy smiled. "No, father. I would have to disqualify myself and let someone else do that. I know the law on that matter."

Jack turned to the younger boy. "And you. What are you doing now?"

"I'm a defense barrister. Should you be captured in Guadeloupe, I'll stand with you and try my best to keep them from hanging you."

"I see. Well I do hope you are a good barrister then, Gabriel, and we can always use an honest one, though it dooms you to a life of poverty. Now, let's talk about me and your mother. I'm not going back to her."

The boys looked at each other, then at Jack. "Why would you want to?" Both were incredulous that he'd even broach the subject.

"What?! Your mother said you both want your father back, and I assumed--"

Gabriel interrupted. "Never assume, Jack. Yes, we'd like to have our father back. We'd like to visit you and have you visit us in Guadeloupe. But neither of us live with mother, it just isn't possible, and we aren't asking you to live with her...or even visit her. Mother is an overbearing shrew, Jack. We recognize that. Unfortunately, she's been faithful to you, or we'd both help you try to get an annulment with the Church."

Jack grinned. "Well I have NOT been faithful. Any chance of getting that annulment?"

Michael shook his head. "We'd assumed that, Jack. You are, after all, a pirate. Mother refuses to go to the Church over it, and since she's the aggrieved party, it's up to her to do it. The same with you being Church of England and not Catholic after all. It took dispensation from the Church to permit the marriage in the first place; you would now ask the Church to dispense with that dispensation in order to annul the marriage that would bastardize your sons?"

Jack was impressed that they'd checked into all of that for him, but there was only one answer possible. "Yes."

Gabriel bit his lips to control a laugh. Michael looked curious. "Jack, have you made any bastards since you left mother?"

Jack frowned. "I'm not sure, really, but no doubt I have, probably several. It's just very hard for a whore to prove fatherhood. There are two whelps that look enough like me that I'd be willing to claim them, but their mothers haven't broached the subject, so I'm not offerin'. I DO tend to leave extra money when I 'visit' though." He decided to change the subject again. "So, are either of you married yet? Loraine and I were married when I was fifteen. Michael, You're what now, twenty-five?"

"Twenty-six, father, this past February."

"Oh yes. Twenty-six. And are you married yet?"

"No, Jack. I've not had time to settle down. I've studied and worked hard to be called to the barr, becoming first a barrister, then a judge advocate and now the youngest magistrate in the Caribbean," he preened a bit, "and damn good at it from what I've been told."

"Any whelps?"

"Jack! No...no bastards...no children."

"Pity." He turned to Gabriel. "You?"

"Twenty-five, Jack. I've also been too busy. And before you ask, no children."

"Well that's what's wrong with today's wastrel youth: too busy to give their parents grandchildren." All three of them laughed. "Look, it's been an enjoyable afternoon, but I've got to get back to my ship. Do look after your mother...none of us would want her to be killed by pirates, eh?" He looked at them meaningfully. "Get her out of Tortuga, lads. I'm serious. The sun is going down in about an hour. You should all be gone by then. Promise me that you'll all be gone by sunset."

His sons just blinked at him, not understanding quite. "This is no place for a lady of her quality." Both boys agreed. They'd seen enough of Tortuga during the daylight that they knew it would be dangerous at night.

/Though why I should care what happens to Tortuga, I couldn't say. I still might want to visit, I guess, and there is my tavern, but we can always rebuild./

Jack stood to go and immediately found Loraine at his elbow. "So, Francois, have you gotten reacquainted with your sons?"

Jack shook her off his arm. "It's Jack, Loraine, and yes, we are quite in agreement. You and the boys are to be out of Tortuga within one hour. Go home to Guadeloupe, Loraine. I'm not coming back to you, and the boys agree with me. And since I have NOT been faithful to you, I'll expect you to go to the Church for an annulment if you insist that I'm alive. Good day, Loraine."

Loraine began to sob. "You are all I have, Francois. The boys have left me, and I am frightened in a new place. Please come with me Francois. I do not care that you have been unfaithful. Come home."

/The only thing you care about, you blood-sucking harpy, is that you no longer have anyone under your control. And you ain't been afraid of the Devil himself since you first drew breath./ "Boys, take your mother back to the ship you sailed in on and get out of here. Loraine, forget me. I'm not leaving the Pearl, not for anyone, especially you, and there's nothing you can do about it."

The boys held their mother back when she lunged towards Jack, held her fast as they turned and led her out of the Bride. At the door she broke free of them. #I'll get you, Francois! You'll see. You'll be mine again and we'll be happy together! As God is my witness, I shall make it my life's work to do this thing.# They hauled her away.

Jack snorted and tossed back an ale that a barmaid handed him: it had been sent by Ana who had been much amused watching the proceedings; so distracted was he that he didn't even notice it wasn't rum and was stale in the bargain as he quaffed it off in one pull. "Who was she?"

"Just an old acquaintance, love." The old pirate gave the girl a kiss on the lips. "I'll see you later, after I've made sure she hasn't sabotaged my ship." He left, spitting at the bad taste in his mouth, thinking that the rum had gone off a bit or the rumrunners had cheated him again.

* - * - *

Two hours later, Jack woke with the thought he heard someone onboard. /Probably Gibbs./ Naked, he crawled out of his bunk and threw the cabin doors wide open.

And there was Loraine, a pistol in each hand and a demonic gleam in her eye as she ogled his naked state. "Excellent, you have anticipated my arrival. Get onto the bed, Francois."

Jack's stomach fell to his feet and his eyebrows went up as he recognized his father's best hair-triggered dueling pistols now waving in his face, but gave her his most sincere smile. "Loraine, my love! There's no need to use a pistol against me." /I hope her aim isn't as good as I remember it or I'm a dead man./ "We can settle this friendly-like. Come in and have a seat." He started to back into the room, wary of the pistols held steady in his wife's hands. He heard the double click as she cocked them. He began to sweat.

"No, Francois. We cannot. Now get on that bed before I change my mind and shoot something off."

Jack's eyes went wide. "Now, love..."

She took dead aim straight at his manhood. "Now."

Jack turned and climbed onto the huge bed.

"In the middle." he scooted till he was sitting in the center. She produced a pair of manacles and tossed them at him. "Put these on your wrists and lock them on behind you, then lie down on your back."

Jack noticed the single link of chain between the manacles. He'd be helpless in these. "Love, just tell me what you want and I'll do it."

"Put them on and stop trying to weasel out of the situation. If I can't have you, I'll have your child."

"But Loraine, you already have two--"

"Last chance, Francois. Put them on or be forcibly faithful to me the rest of your life."

Jack quickly put the manacles on and lay down. The iron cuffs bit into his back, but he tried to ignore it.

The French woman produced some rope and grabbed his left foot, tying it to the post at the bottom of the bed with a one-handed clove hitch, all the while keeping one pistol trained on Jack. The pirate just had to be impressed in spite of the circumstance. /Now where did she learn to do that, I wonder?/

She repeated the exercise with his right foot, spreading his legs wide to her satisfaction. She proceeded to do a little striptease before him, making sure he was watching by waving one pistol at him once in a while.

Oh, the pirate was watching, alright. He knew how well Loraine could shoot; he'd taught her himself. Jack watched that pistol as if it were a snake. And his manhood stayed flaccid during the entire show.

"Francois, we can do this the easy way, or you can make it difficult, but I WILL have my way." Loraine climbed onto the bed between Jack's legs and leaned in, taking his soft member into her mouth.

Jack tried to buck her off, but found the muzzle of her pistol firmly lodged right at the base of his balls and stopped. He watched her as she pulled his organ like taffy between her lips and bore down on it again. The feeling was magnificent; he remembered how she'd tortured him with her lips when they'd first met. He tried to think of something else, to distract himself with unpleasant thoughts: but seagulls regurgitating half-digested garbage; cannon fire with flying body parts; Anamaria in a fury and even Gibbs naked just melted away into her incredible mouth as it sucked his now stiffening manhood down her throat.

Loraine smiled around his velvety shaft as she drew back to lick around the head, taking it between her lips and giving it a deep kiss. The muzzle of the pistol disappeared from contact, and her fingers began to play with his sac, stretching and massaging, rolling his balls in her hand, her lips doing incredible things to his cock as he flung his head back and moaned.

"Please...Loraine..." His words were lost in a loud groan as her fingers found his opening and one slipped in, finding his magic spot easily as if she'd practiced the entire time they'd been apart.

Jack could feel himself starting to get lost, and as his sac tightened in readiness, Loraine quickly climbed aboard, plunging her womanhood down on his member, riding him, impaling herself again and again, her inner muscles milking him dry, playing him like a fine instrument, her fingers, an orchestra in his arse.

He bucked instinctively, driving home again and again as he peaked, he screamed an entire symphony, and at last reached crescendo; his creamy juices finally overflowing and seeping out of his wife as he came hard and long.

Loraine felt the overflow and let his essence fountain, then slowly rose off his manhood, as she held a hand over her womanhood to try to trap as much of his precious juices as she could.

She watched as Jack finally began recovering from his peak and smiled. "You arouse so quickly; you were ever the easy man to possess, Francois." She grabbed both pistols and uncocked them, moved to her clothing and produced a key. She threw it onto his cum-splattered belly. "Adieu, Francois. I'll name this one after you. I'll never stop loving you, you know."

"Making those around you miserable is what you love, Loraine, this is a hell of a way to show you love me. Now unchain me."

"You unchain yourself. That is the key...I promise." She finished getting dressed and left, leaving the doors to the great cabin wide open.

"Bloody Hell!" The pirate twisted his body so that the key fell next to him, then wiggled around on the bed till his hand found it. As he fitted the key into the first lock and unlocked it, he breathed a sigh of relief. /At least she was telling the truth. It wouldn't do to give any returning crew an eyeful; wouldn't enhance the legend in the least./

He unlocked the other cuff and tossed the manacles across the room, then untied his legs, dashed to the basin, cleaned himself off, and got dressed. /Damned French perfume. And the cheap stuff at that. One drop lingers for days./ He could still smell her scent about him. /I'll have to burn sulfur in here and I need a bloody bath.

He stomped out of the cabin, slamming the cabin doors behind him, and saw Anamaria heading for the ship at a dead run.

Assuming he was in trouble with Ana ('again', or was it 'as usual'?), he sat down on a barrel to wait for her, his indignation at what Loraine did to him pushed to the back of his mind while he tried to think what could possibly be upsetting Ana this time.

He stomped out of the cabin, slamming the cabin doors behind him, and saw Anamaria heading for the ship at a dead run.

Assuming he was in trouble with Ana ('again', or was it 'as usual'?), he sat down on a barrel to wait for her, his indignation at what Loraine did to him pushed to the back of his mind while he tried to think what could possibly be upsetting Ana this time.

"Permission to come aboard, Jack!"

Jack smiled. /Oh, how I dread this.../ "Permission granted!"

Ana fairly leaped aboard and sized Jack up and down. "Are ye all right, Jack?"

"Yes. Is there a problem?"

"Those two young men ye were talkin' to: they came back to the Bride 'n' warned me that ye might be in trouble from that woman they had dragged out of there before. I came right away. Are ye sure you're all right?"

"Oh, aye, Ana. I'm fine. Couldn't be better. I'm glad to see ye though. I was just thinkin' I might just fancy meself a nice, warm bath at the local bathhouse. Could ye mind the Pearl for a bit for me?"

Ana was instantly alert. Something was wrong when Jack was this amenable when being questioned. It was something to do with that woman, it had to be. Ana sniffed at him. "Ye smell like a French whore house. Are ye SURE you're all right, Jack?"

"Of course I'm sure. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. I've nothing to fear from the woman you saw. But I do thank you for being concerned; are ye sure you're not jealous, Ana?"

*SLAP!*

"Aye, and it smells t' me like ye've had yer way with 'er, CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow." Ana put her hands on her hips.

"Think what you'd like, Ana. That's not what happened. Now I'll be back in a couple hours. Will you take the watch or not?"

"Aye, Jack, I'll watch yer ship for ye. But could ye TRY to be honest with me?"

Without a shred of guile, Jack lifted his hand to her chin and tilted her face up. "Ana, I AM being honest. But if you MUST know, and you must promise never to repeat this to anyone--"

"Aye, Jack. I promise."

"I did NOT have MY way with her at all. She had HER way with ME. And I want to go wash the stink of her OFF as quickly as I may."

Ana lifted her hand to Jack's face, deeply touched, realizing Jack had, for once, dropped all pretence; she smiled tenderly. "You mangy pirate, Jack. If you're lyin' t' me 'bout this, I'll pull yer ears down t' yer knees 'n' tie them in a knot for ye, savvy?" But she wasn't really worried; Jack was a good liar, but he wasn't THIS good.

Jack stared her straight in the eyes. He'd never do that unless he was telling her the truth. "I promise you, Ana, I'm telling the truth. The woman had HER way with ME despite anything I could do. She had a pistol on me."

"And ye knew she'd aim true, did ye?"

"Yes. That woman can shoot the eye out of a squirrel from fifty feet."

"And ye know this HOW?"

"Because I taught her how to shoot years ago. Before I became a pirate."

"Then the young men told me the truth? She's your wife?"

"Only in the strictly legal sense. I left her over twenty years ago."

"But she's your WIFE???"

Jack bowed his head. "Yes."

*SLAP!*

"That's for never tellin' me."

Jack rubbed his jaw. "Would it have made a difference, Ana?"

Ana thought about it. "No, no difference...not really."

"Then why go and hit me after what I've been through? No matter that she's married to the man I once was, she had a pistol on me the whole time." Jack prayed Ana never spoke to Lorraine.

"The WHOLE time?"

"Yes, Ana. And she threatened to make me a eunuch at least once."

A bit stunned that he trusted her with even that much information, Ana patted Jack's cheek, smirking at seeing him twitch: trying to avoid flinching, at the motion of her hand. "All right then, Go get yer bath, Jack. I'll take the watch for ye."

Jack thanked her and strode down the gangplank, fairly running to his favorite bathhouse.

* - * - *

TBC