The Map

Thanks to Ani for editing this.
Usual disclaimer – own nothing.

Chapter 39

Declaration

Nell was leaning against the rails watching the dolphins that were keeping pace with the Pearl as she cut through the water with some speed. The wind was in the sails and, according to Jack who was now at the helm, they were making good time. The sun was high in the sky and very hot; she knew that she would soon have to take cover or invite heatstroke, but for now, just for a few moments, she wanted to feel the breeze on her face and the freedom of space before heading down into the cramped galley below deck and the endless chores that were daily life on the Pearl.

Timms and some of the crew were beginning work on mending the rowing boats and Nell could hear the happy laughter mingling with the sounds of the repairs they were making. She lifted a hand and rubbed at her eyes; she was tired again. It seemed to Nell that all she ever was, was bone weary. Taking to Jack may have lifted the shadows from some of the dark corners in her mind, but it had not completely erased the uneasy feelings that now seemed to be second-nature to her; and going through everything that had happened had left her emotionally and physically fatigued. She needed to sleep, wanted to sleep, but she knew it would elude her.

She looked back over her shoulder and up to where Jack was standing beside the wheel, one hand holding the spokes as he stared out over the sea in front of them. She knew he’d stay there all night, or at least for as long as it took them to get to the Isla De Muerta; he was the only one who held the bearings and she knew that he’d tell no one else, and after his last experience, she didn’t really blame him.

“Beautiful isn’t it?”

Nell turned in surprise when she heard Elizabeth’s voice. “Elizabeth! How are you? Where is Will?”

“I’m fine and Will is...” She half-smiled as she came to stand beside Nell, one hand moving to the rails. “Will is recovering slowly. His muscles have been badly damaged and he has very little strength in his hand but well…” She sighed as she looked out over the water; the dolphins made her smile slightly but it was tinged with sadness.

“Jack said he may not be able to forge swords again.” Nell could see the pain in Elizabeth when she shrugged in reply.

“Please, don’t let Will know you are aware of this.” Elizabeth lifted a hand and pushed some stray curls of hair behind her ear. “The doctor told him that time was a great healer and I believe that time indeed will mend some things, but I do not think he will ever achieve the same level of skill again and he knows it too; but he cannot abide pity.”

“No, he’s a proud man,” observed Nell. “And he takes his vows to you very seriously doesn’t he? This must be troubling him – possible inability to provide for you in the future.”

“What else has Jack told you?” Elizabeth’s voice was tight as she responded to Nell.

“Jack didn’t tell me,” Nell replied gently. “He didn’t have to; it stands to reason that a proud man would feel this way. You’ll no doubt have some of the treasure so you won’t be left with nothing – but I don’t think that’s the issue with Will, is it?”

Elizabeth looked at Nell closely, her brown eyes shadowed with worry and concern and a little suspicion. “He feels as if he’s going to fail me – and now that…” she stopped and looked away abruptly.

“And now you’re pregnant as well.” Nell finished the statement for her.

“You know?” Elizabeth looked back at her in surprise. “How can you know? We’ve only just found out. Did the doctor tell you?”

Nell shook her head and looked away from Nell. “No, I just… guessed.” She did not want Elizabeth knowing how the monks had used her twice. It would lead to questions that she did not have the strength to answer twice in one day.

“Well…” Elizabeth looked at her doubtfully and then puzzlement flickered across her face. “You knew on the island… that was why you stopped me from leading Jack to the bay. How could you have known then? I had no idea… I was feeling fatigued, but I assumed it was the island. Nell, how did you know this?”

Nell shrugged refusing to look at Elizabeth. “I just knew. Please… don’t ask me to tell you. I do not wish to talk of it anymore.”

“Anymore? Does Jack know of it?” Elizabeth saw Nell nod in reply. “Then I shall not pry.”

“I’m pleased for you both. So much bad has happened… Do you…” Nell faded out unwilling to ask the question for fear of the answers.

“Go on,” prompted Elizabeth gently.

Nell drew a deep breath. “Do you still feel them, the monks, inside your head?”

Elizabeth shifted uncomfortably before nodding reluctantly. “Yes, occasionally. It was only yesterday that we left that cursed place but the effects will take longer to leave us I think.” She looked at Nell and reached out to touch her arm gently. “You have dreamt of them also? Last night?”

“Yes,” Nell nodded, somewhat relieved that Elizabeth had felt things too; she wasn’t alone. “I thought I saw them as well… Has Will felt it too?”

“No.” Elizabeth shook her head. “But then I don’t think they had the same hold over him they had on us, and I don’t imagine they had the same hold on me that they had on you either.”

Nell looked at her sharply. “Because I’m not as strong as you? Because I am more gullible than you - is that what you mean?”

Elizabeth looked at her in surprise shaking her head. “No, that’s not what I meant; I merely meant because you were a nun and with a religious, or a more religious past than myself.”

Nell had not thought of the connection before, but now it seemed logical and it went some way to easing her even further.

“You felt more than we did, didn’t you? Mister Bryant asked if we felt anything when we went through the village. We didn’t feel anything; but you did, didn’t you?”

Nell nodded in reply, her eyes were fixed on the dolphins, but she didn’t really see them as she thought over what Elizabeth had said. The evil monks had targeted her because she was the most gullible – also she could now see that the beliefs instilled in her life in the convent had gone some way to help them fool her.

“Have you seen what’s in those chests?” the familiar high pitched tone of an excited Lady Clarence broke into Nell’s thoughts; bringing both Nell and Elizabeth to look at her. She stopped beside Nell, one hand on her throat as the other clasped the rail.

“Mister Hock has just shown me the chests in the hold and I have to admit that I had to sit down for awhile!”

“Quite overcome?” asked Elizabeth with a wink at Nell.

“Well…” Lady Clarence recovered herself slightly before grinning at them again. “I’m quite used to jewels in the circles I move in. Family pieces at balls are commonplace, and indeed one is most undressed unless the family jewels are worn… but….” She took a deep breath and her smile widened. “I sound just awful don’t I?”

Nell grinned at her. “It is rather head-turning isn’t it?” Nell thought back to the Emerald necklace that lay in the cabin drawer that Jack had given her on the island.

“I shall never again look upon the…” Lady Clarence stopped and frowned as it occurred to her that she would never again see the family jewels she was so used to wearing. “I have a few pieces that I brought with me from England, but the main Clarence pieces are kept in the family vault in Compton Court.”

“Compton Court? Is that your home?” asked Elizabeth with interest.

“One of them, or at least it was.” Lady Clarence looked behind her where Hock had joined Timms and the others and was busy shaping wood for the hulls of the rowing boats. “My home will be different now, won’t it?” she mused quietly almost to herself as she watched Hock work. He must have seen her because he looked up and winked at her, grinning openly when she smiled back at him.

“Home is where the heart is,” Elizabeth replied. “Isn’t that what they say? And yours will be with Mister Hock.” Elizabeth had been surprised when Jack had informed them of the strange union of Hock and Lady Clarence. But then she also knew that love struck in the most unusual places and couldn’t be controlled.

Lady Clarence looked at her and smiled happily. “Yes, things have worked out completely differently than I ever dreamt; but I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”

“How do you intend on informing your husband?” Elizabeth inquired. She had met the man a few times since his arrival at Port Royal and she neither liked nor admired him; she couldn’t see him excepting Lady Clarence’s abandonment of him so easily. It would tarnish his reputation and be the cause of scandal, something that he would not be pleased about.

“I should face him I suppose,” Lady Clarence admitted softly. “And if I felt anything but repulsion and fear for him I just might face him. But I cannot; for fear of what he may do. He will not take it lightly and indeed, I did not want to pursue a relationship with Mister Hock at first for fear of what Henry would do.”

“He would come after you?” asked Nell with some alarm.

“He would kill us both given the chance. I understand from Mister Hock and Captain Sparrow that he won’t be given the chance. I am not returning to Port Royal with you, I’m unclear on exactly what they have arranged but it will become clear… oh! Here comes the Commodore and Mister Bryant.” She looked sideways at Nell waiting for her reaction, but Nell didn’t look away from the churning sea below them; but Elizabeth noticed and raised an eyebrow at Lady Clarence.

“Our little Nell has more than one admirer I think!” Lady Clarence said teasingly and Nell couldn’t ignore it.

“Mister Bryant is nothing more than a brother to me!” she hissed hotly, turning to watch their progress across the deck towards them.

“He would make a fine match,” Lady Clarence replied and looked at Nell shrewdly. “If it weren’t for the fact you have given your heart to the captain… ah! Which reminds me…” she turned slightly and slid her hand into the concealed pocket of her full skirts. “I was going to return this earlier but I forgot.” She began to draw something from her pocket but the Commodore and Bryant arrived and she changed her mind. “Perhaps later, Nell,” she said softly and winked at her.

Nell frowned, wondering what she had being going to give her; but her attention was soon claimed by the casual conversation that began around her.

<><><><><><><><>>
The rest of the day passed with little excitement; the most that happened was when Will and Elizabeth came out onto the deck shortly after six bells. They only stayed for awhile, but it was good to see Will slowly improving; the sea air and the fact they had left the island was beginning to work wonders on him.

They ate on deck that evening and Nell stayed close to Hock and Norrington; growing more anxious as the evening approached. They were still some distance from the Isla De Muerta and because of that Jack would stay at the helm until they arrived. Nell realised it would mean that she would be alone in the cabin, something she didn’t relish although she did feel childish for her fears.

She tried hard to stay in the cabin with the lights low but when eight bells were struck and lights were doused it was too dark for Nell to overcome her fears. She left the cabin, taking a blanket from the bunk with her, and made her way past the watch and up to the quarterdeck where Jack was. He didn’t say anything as she bunked down close to him but he did reach down and stroke her hair gently. He watched as she quickly fell asleep, reassured by his presence. She didn’t disturb until the eight bells of morning watch. Jack watched as she sat up slightly disorientated until she realised where she was. She looked up at him and blinked.

“Have you been there all night?” she asked him.

“Aye,” he replied and grinned at her. “I’ll sleep later, Nell, I don’t need it like that.”

“I couldn’t stay…” she blushed and looked away as she got to her feet, aware of the watch changing and seeing her there.

“’Tis understandable, Nell,” he said casually. “I’m with me all the time and it’s still not enough, on account of being such a wonderful man.”

Nell looked at him in surprise before bursting out laughing. “You are so conceited, Jack Sparrow!”

“You wound me,” he grinned at her. “Now, listen, while you’re up you may as well make yourself useful and find my breakfast for me, Soames’ll have the fires lit by now and should have something ready.”

“I could make some fish stew for you if you like,” she said quietly grinning slyly at him.

“Aye, that you could,” he agreed. “And I could send it over the rails to poison the sharks beneath us.”

“Philistine!” she laughed and taking the folded blanket went past him to the steps leading down to the main deck.

“No, just not ready to die yet,” came the casual reply as she went into the cabins.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Norrington was leaning over the edge of the rails of the quarterdeck. He was alone with his thoughts, his attention half taken by the shadows of the shipwrecks that lay beneath them. His last trip to the Isla De Muerta had been so different and his time had been taken up with commanding his crew, planning attacks on Barbossa and the Pearl, and wondering just what tricks Jack Sparrow had up his sleeve.

This time he was in command of only a handful of red-coats that were more pirate than red-coat now, and he was finding that although he had no doubt Jack Sparrow still had plenty of tricks up his sleeve, he wasn’t as worried about them as he should be. He could see the hammerhead sharks circling the wrecks below and he was thankful that Sparrow would see them through safely. They’d come too far, survived too much to lose it all now. He half-smiled as he looked up at the approaching islands that were still encircled with mists; he was fairly certain it was the result of the curse that still lay on the Aztec gold holding the mists there. He turned to where Jack was behind him at the helm still.

“What is it about you that invites things that aren’t normal?” he asked conversationally.

“I’m a popular man, always have been,” came the amused reply as Jack guided the Pearl through the hazards that lay below with a care that spoke of his skill as a sailor.

Norrington turned to lean back against the rails on his elbows; he crossed his booted feet and tilted his head up slightly to watch the birds that wheeled and dived above them. “I never noticed birds before,” he mused. “Is there anything on this island that we have to beware of?”

“Aye,” Jack replied, his eyes on the bay he was heading for. “Not much in the way of animals and the like; it’s greed that tends to put a person in danger more than anything here.”

“And you’re immune?” asked Norrington scepticism clear in his voice.

“To a point,” Jack replied softly. “I’m old enough to know that there are some things more important than gold and silver; like breathing for instance.”

“And yet you still insist on pirating and plundering,” pointed out Norrington dryly.

“I like a challenge,” he replied. “Besides, someone has to keep you on your toes, or you’d all grow fat behind your fort walls.”

“I think we’d manage to find a way of staying trim,” Norrington snorted.

“Aye, chasing the lassies around Port Royal no doubt,” Jack laughed. “Although I suppose your rank persuades them to be caught fairly easily.”

“I don’t chase ladies, Jack; I leave that to your kind.”

“Oh, my apologies, so you spend most of your time chasing the lads, then?” Jack’s serious face belied the humour that laced his voice.

Norrington choked and then laughed as he shook his head at Jack. “I don’t lean that way either.”

“I don’t know,” mused Jack, his black eyes catching Norrington’s briefly before he looked back out over the water. “You and Bryant would make a fine pair.”
Norrington choked again, covering his mouth as he was caught between laughing and coughing.

“I admire your imagination and I suppose were I in any other profession than sea-faring, I’d probably be quite horrified; but I’ve seen too much at sea to be shocked by your words.”

“Aye, it happens,” Jack replied and shrugged dismissively. “And there are two in the brig as we speak.”

Norrington sobered slightly as he thought of Beaumont and De Mornay. “What are your plans with them?”

“I’d keelhaul them and then shoot them on deck before throwing them to the sharks…” Jack’s voice was dark as he spoke, his face hard. “But I’m not sure the ladies would stomach that.”

“They would remain below deck.” Norrington replied.

“You’d not object?” Jack allowed himself to be diverted.

“I’m in no position to object,” Norrington answered him frankly. “And even if I were the only part I may object on would be the keelhauling.”

“Not humane enough?” Jack’s voice was slightly scathing.

“The state they’re in they’d probably not survive it; and there’s a part of me that won’t be satisfied until I see the life drain from their eyes.”

Jack regarded Norrington briefly before calling out orders to the waiting crew as they neared the island. The anchor was dropped and Jack tied the wheel off before looking back at Norrington. “If you have no ties you’d make a fine addition to my crew.”

Norrington studied Jack’s face carefully and found no humour or teasing there. “You’d shoot me before the week was out; for insubordination and taking charge at every given moment.” His voice was soft and slightly wary.

“Maybe, but what a week you’d have first,” Jack replied grinning at him. “Who knows, we may even be able to acquire you your own ship and then I’d be Commodore and you’d be your own Captain.”

“A step down in rank?” Norrington inquired with an arched eyebrow. “I rather thought of staying Commodore and you staying Captain, Captain.”

“That’s not quite how I was seeing it,” Jack laughed as they headed to the steps together. “But then neither did I ever envisage walking side by side with a Commodore of the Royal Navy and not be heading to the noose.”

“Stranger things, Jack, stranger things…”

“Aye,” Jack nodded and then looked up at him as they reached the deck. “But should things not turn out well with the Navy for you, the offer will remain open for as long as you choose not to chase me with a hangman’s rope in your hand.”

“I’ll remember that,” Norrington replied and touched Jack’s arm gently. “But it does help me to keep slim!”

Jack roared with laughter and clapped Norrington on the back before swaggering off.

>?>?>?>?>>>???

Nell was sitting at the table in the galley mending several shirts that looked a little worse for wear. It felt good to be back on the Pearl doing something as mundane as darning; it brought a feeling of normality to her that helped her relax - although it crossed her mind that darning pirate shirts on a pirate ship was far cry from most people’s normal. She bit through the thread with her teeth and stuck the needle through the fabric of the next shirt before folding the clean, mended one and setting it to one side.

A noise at the door had her turning her head; Bryant stood in the doorway.

“Am I interrupting?” he asked quietly. “Can I keep you company?”

“That would be nice.” Nell replied smiling at him. “Mister Soames was here earlier but he’s gone up on deck. It’s rather quiet down here when everyone is on deck.”

“You don’t want to be in the sun as well then?” he asked and took a seat opposite her, resting his forearms on the table and watched her as she stitched the next shirt with confidant fingers.

“It was too hot,” she laughed.

“We're going ashore later; are you going too?” He reached out and picked up a spare piece of thread and absently began rolling it through his fingers.

"Yes." She nodded tying off the thread and putting the shirt to one side.

“Nell…” he stopped and dragged a hand through his hair. “Nell, I know you’re going to be staying on the Pearl, aren’t you? After we reach Port Royal I mean.”

Nell coloured up slightly and nodded as she threaded her needle ready for the next shirt. “Yes, I am staying. I have nothing in Port Royal…” she stopped as she realised that was not strictly true. She put her stitching down and drew a deep breath. “Do you know Stephen Wearing in Port Royal?”

Bryant lifted his eyebrows at her question. “Wearing? I know of a Stephen Wearing but I do not know him, if you understand my meaning. Why do you ask?”

Nell took a deeper breath. “Apparently he’s my brother.” She watched the surprise cross his face as he leant forwards towards her across the table.

“Your brother? But… how can that be?”

“They, Beaumont and De Mornay, killed my parents and tried to kill my brother too. It would appear that they failed and he still lives in Port Royal.”

“Well…” Bryant dragged his hand through his hair again and sat back in the chair, stretching out his legs and kicking hers under the table. “Sorry…” he moved his legs slightly and scrubbed a hand down his face. “A brother!” He blew out his breath “Who told you…no, that was a stupid question. I assume that was what Beaumont was talking to Jack about in the monastery wasn’t it?”

Nell nodded as she pushed the mending to one side and propped her elbows on the table and her face in her hands.

“How do you feel about it?” he asked.

“Jack asked me the same question; I still don’t really know now. I haven’t had much chance to sit and think about it; so much has happened since leaving England that it makes my head spin sometimes just to think about it.”

“I’m not surprised, Nell.” He folded his arms across his chest studying her face closely with narrowed eyes. “I’ve never met him, heard about him, but I’ve never met him.”

“They tried to kill him too; in fact they thought they had.” She let her arms rest on the table, folded till her hands could grip her elbows. She laid her head down, her eyes closed. “I don’t remember him at all. I’ve tried to think back, tried to remember but it’s all so faded and hazy.”

“It was a long time ago and you were so young.” He reached forwards and hesitantly held his hand over her head, not touching her but close enough to feel the warmth coming from her. “Will you come to Port Royal at some stage to meet him?” He tried hard to keep his voice neutral, calm, but he could feel his heart pounding as he looked down at her closed eyes.

“I don’t know…” she sighed. “How would I do that? Just knock on his door and say “Hello, I’m your sister – remember me?”

“That would be a start,” he grinned slightly and resisted no more. He laid his hand flat on her head and allowed his fingers to curl into her hair. “How’s your head?”

Nell was surprised to feel his hand on her head, but she remained still as he began to lightly caress her hair, it felt so nice and she was so tired. “Better now it’s been cleaned up. I never thanked you for helping me.”

“I don’t require it,” he replied and leant forwards, his fingers stroking her hair more confidently when he heard the sleepiness in her voice. “I wouldn’t require anything from you…” he whispered, watching as her breathing evened out and she slipped into sleep easily.

He stayed with her, his fingers never tiring of stroking her hair as she slept. A movement in the doorway caught his attention, but it was empty when he looked over and he dismissed it from his mind as he mulled over what they talked about.

<><<><><><><><>><

The knife glittered overhead, the brown rough fabric of the robe falling back from his hand to reveal a pale, strong arm.

“You betrayed us!”

The monk hissed and brought the knife swinging down in an arch towards her. Nell was paralysed with fear, sweat coursing down her back as she watched in slow motion as the knife cut through the air towards her. She opened her mouth to scream but a low groan was the only noise that came from her.

Bryant jerked awake quickly; he’d dozed sitting at the table with his hand on Nell’s head. The noises coming from Nell was low pitched and terrified and sent Bryant’s heart hammering.

“Nell, Nell, wake up!” He rose from the chair and shook her shoulders firmly. She sat up with a cry, her eyes wide and bright with fear till they focused on Bryant and she slumped forwards, her breathing erratic and catchy. She rubbed her hands over her eyes and then leant on the table, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes.

“Tell me.” Bryant’s voice was a low command.

“The same really… monks with knives…” she drew in a shaky breath and forced herself to pull herself together. “Stupid I know, but scary when you’re dreaming them.”

“Not stupid, Nell, never stupid,” he spoke quietly and came around the table to perch on the edge. He laid his hand on her shoulder, letting his fingers brush against the skin of her neck.

“Jack told me to give myself time; that it’s still so soon but…”

“But what?” Bryant leant towards her slightly, his gaze intense as he studied her side-profile.

“They’re still there, in my head. I talked with Jack and it did help. I spoke with Elizabeth and that also helped; but when I fall asleep… I see them.”

“Nell, it’s going to take awhile to forget…”

“I know,” she sighed and smiled at him. “And I’m boring everyone. Elizabeth bounces back from a near-death experience and brushes it off as an everyday occurrence, while I flounder along, steadily losing my mind.”

“I think that’s a bit harsh,” he reached out and caught her hand. “You’re not Elizabeth, you won’t react the same as she does; for one thing you have completely different backgrounds. Elizabeth grew up knowing who her parents were and knowing she was loved. You grew up with nuns and lies; you came out here and everything has been completely turned on its head. Give yourself time…” he drew in a deep breath. “Come to Port Royal, meet your brother, and give yourself the time you need to work through everything that has happened.”

Nell remained silent as she looked up at him; his face was gentle and concerned. “I… I will meet him; I suppose I have to really. I’m not certain that I want to do it just yet though. You’re the only brother I need just now.” She squeezed his fingers and grinned at him. He gave a low groan of anguish and pulled his hand away to cover his face.

“Nell, Nell…” he lowered his hands from his face. “I lied to you, I lied to myself,” he muttered. “I love you, Nell, more than a brother. You stole my heart when I kissed you.”

“But… I…” Nell floundered, blinking at him in surprise. “You said…”

“I lied, I knew you felt nothing, and I knew you didn’t love me, not in the way I want you to.” He got up from the table and crouched in front of her; gripping her hands and pulling her around to face him. “Nell, I can look after you; I can love you enough for both of us, enough for it to work. You’d never want or need for anything; I’d make you happy, I promise I’d make you happy.”

Nell stared down at him, her face showing her distress at his words. She pulled her hands free and shook her head slowly.

“I know you…” Bryant took a deep breath and ran a hand down his face as he got up and perched on the table beside her again. “I realise Sparrow holds your affections, doesn’t he?”

Nell looked up at him wordlessly. Lady Clarence had alluded to this, but she had not seen it; she had thought that Bryant had merely regarded her as a sister, and that Lady Clarence was reading something that just wasn’t there. Now, with a sinking heart, she knew Lady Clarence had been right and she was wrong.

“I don’t care about Sparrow,” he said hotly. “It makes no difference to me that he’s had you first; it doesn’t affect the way I feel about you. I know he’s touched you, taken you, but I don’t care; I would never care if you were mine, if you marry me.”

“Joshua!” Nell blushed shocked at his words and slightly embarrassed at realising it was that apparent that she had slept with Jack in the true carnal fashion.

“I’m not going to apologise!” He shook his head at her. “It’s the way I feel and I’ll make no apologies for that. Please, Nell, just consider my offer, that’s all I ask.”

“Josh,” Nell got to her feet unsteadily and stood in front of him. “I don’t know what to say… I truly had no idea…”

“Don’t say anything,” he slid from the table and before she realised his intentions he had captured her face between his hands and was kissing her with all the passion he felt for her. Nell brought her hands to his chest and gently pushed away, breaking his hold on her.

“Josh, please don’t do this, to either of us.” Nell stepped back one more step, lifting a hand to her lips. “Please don’t ask for something I can’t give you.”

“I just want you with me,” he said and ran a hand down his face; his other hand went to his hip as he took a deep breath. “I don’t think I can let you stay here, Nell.”

“That’s not your decision to make, Josh.” Nell lifted a hand and touched his arm gently. “I’m staying here, I’ve made my decision; this is where I want to be. I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you. I never meant to hurt you, Josh, I don’t know what to say…”

“Say yes for god’s sake, say you’ll marry me and come to Port Royal.”

“I can’t, Josh, I can’t do that to either of us. You don’t really love me, Josh, it wouldn’t be fair to throw your life away on a chivalrous whim.”

“Bloody hell, Nell!” He threw his hands in the air. “Don’t tell me what I feel or don’t feel! I’m not some fresh-faced whelp. I do know what I feel and I know that I’ll never feel about anyone else the way I feel about you.” He reached out and caught her face between her hands. “I’d die for you, Nell, can’t you see that? Don’t tell me I’m being chivalrous, don’t patronise me and don’t, please God, turn me down.”

“Josh, please…” Tears filled Nell’s eyes as she looked up at him. She lifted her hands to cover his, and bit her lip. “I have to, don’t you see? It wouldn’t work, neither of us would be happy. I… I love Jack; I can’t help it, I don’t want to help it. I want to be wherever he is.”

Bryant ripped his hands from her face and leant back against the table, anguish clear in his eyes. “And if that somewhere happens to be the end of a rope? You love him that much?”

Nell dashed away the tears from her cheeks and met his eyes. “Yes, I love him that much.”

Bryant sagged slightly and took a deep breath. “I know. I know you do; it’s clear as day that you love him. I’m sorry, Nell, I should never have done this to you. I knew where you stood before I even opened my mouth. But I had to know… do you understand? Can you forgive me?”

“Josh, there’s nothing to forgive.” She reached out and took his hand in her. “I don’t want… I don’t want to lose you; I need your friendship, that’ll never change. Can we be friends?”

“Is friends all we’ll be?” he asked her wistfully. He reached out and stroked her cheek with his free hand. “Yes, that’s all there is, and it’s enough for me to know we’re friends. No, no, I lie again; it’s not enough, not nearly enough, but I’ll make it enough.” He stepped forward, looking down into her troubled eyes, letting go of her hand he cupped her cheeks gently. “Listen to me, Nell, if things don’t quite work out the way you want them to; if anything happens and you need someone, I’ll be there for you, whatever you need. Promise me that you’ll trust me to look after you, with nothing expected in return. Do you understand?”

“I understand that you are really special; I value our friendship more than you’ll ever know, Josh. You’ve always been there when I needed you, on the Relentless, in the brig, on the island. On the deck of the Relentless, I couldn’t have faced him if it weren’t for you, standing by me.”

“I think I was stood behind you, actually,” he said dryly. “Fine Naval officer I make, hiding behind a woman.” He lightened his tone and smiled down at her as he let go of her face, his hands dropping to her shoulders.

“You were hardly hiding; I remember that you tried to stop them taking me from the brig. I wouldn’t have had the strength to face him if it weren’t for you.”

“You already had the strength to face him; you have more strength than you know. You’ll grow stronger still and these dreams and day-dreams about the island and monks will fade.”

“I hope you’re right,” she whispered.

“I’ve been through it before. It’ll take awhile and you’ll need Sparrow… oh Lord did I just say that?” He shook his head in disgust.

Nell laughed and looked up at him. “You know what, Josh, I’ll lay a wager with you; that by the time I‘ve mustered the courage to meet this brother of mine, you’ll have met some fine lass, realised that I was merely a passing fancy, and you’ll have married her and be well on the way to producing those seven children of yours!”

Bryant snorted but his face was tinged with sadness. “Your apple showed no children did it?”

“See!” Nell shrugged under his hands. “The fates were against us from the start. You can’t argue against an apple.”

“Nell, I’d go up against the devil himself for you.” He spoke softly, intently.

“Ah, Josh, there you go again, breaking my heart!” Nell shook her head sadly. “You make it hard.”

“No, I don’t. From my side of the fence, everything is perfectly straight forward.” He saw the troubled look return in her eyes and he forced himself to laugh lightly. “We tie the knot as soon as possible and then start adoption proceedings for those seven children!”

“You’d kill me before the year was out, chasing after seven children!” She grimaced making him chuckle softly.

“We’re going to be all right aren’t we?” She asked him worriedly, the humour dying in her eyes as she looked up at him.

“We’re going to be just fine, Nell,” he reassured her gently. “Just tell me one thing, Nell, and it’ll never be spoken of by us again. If you’d met me first…?”

Nell smiled at him and it reached her eyes. “That’s not a fair question, for either of us.”

“Humour me,” he returned.

“I guess I’d be having myself a name that would really be mine, albeit, a married name.” She shrugged at him, knowing that it was probably the truth.

“Ah, Nell,” he whispered softly and the smile on his face was wistfully sad. He pulled her against him, wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning his cheek on her head.

Nell stiffened slightly for a second before she realised there was nothing in the embrace but friendship. She slid her arms around his waist and leant her cheek against his chest.

“I mean it, Josh, Stephen may have my blood in his veins, but you’re my brother.”

“I always wanted a sister,” he replied and closed his eyes. A movement from the side made him look over quickly, but there was no one there. He frowned, a ripple of unease went down his spine; but he relaxed when he reasoned, that had it been Jack then he’d be minus his arms at this point.

Nell stood back away from him and he let her go.

“I’ll leave you in peace, Nell.”

“I should finish this,” she agreed quietly and it was with relief that she watched him leave the galley and disappear into the gloomy corridor. Nell sighed long and heavily before sitting down and picking up the mending that still lay waiting. She stared down at the mending that was still waiting, not really seeing it as she thought over what had taken place. Her head whirled and an ache was threatening at her temples. She pushed the mending to one side again; she couldn’t do it now, she would go above deck and try and push everything to the back of her mind.

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A/N: I’m sorry this took so long to get out. The next is being typed and hopefully won’t be so long.

Thanks to everyone who reviews, reads and leaves me those lovely messages in my email box.

Have a great day and take care of yourselves.