Don't Worry, Shakespeare

[chapter three]
“It’s Just an Infatuation”


A warm beam of sunshine gently streamed across Campbell’s room as I finally awoke. It stretched across one of my bare legs that had escaped from the sheets. The light warmed my skin in the small patches where it fell. Instinctively, I reached for the boy that should have been beside me, but clutched only more bed sheets in my fist. I blearily opened my eyes and confirmed his absence.

“Campbell!” Andre swore from the kitchen. “You’re letting the bread burn!”

I grinned warmly. The clock on the wall read 12:30. He must have gone into the kitchen to work hours ago. The door was open a crack, filling the room with culinary scents. Slowly, I sat up, the bruising from last night giving me grief.

“Last night…”

I put a hand to my forehead as the memories in the elephant came flooding back for a second time that day. A small yelp of agony left my lips. My hand immediately clapped to my mouth, as I mentally steadied myself. I padded across the warm floor to look in Cam’s dirty old mirror, checking for damage. The image of a girl in an oversized dress shirt stared back at me. She looked fine, but I felt damaged. To my relief, there were no bruises on my face that stage make up couldn’t hide. My legs seemed mostly fine, but the further up I looked, the more battered they appeared. Trembling, I gingerly lifted Campbell’s shirt, nearly unable to decide between wanting to know what damage was done and just ignoring the whole issue, purely to feel better about last night.

I dropped the edge of the hem and moved to sit down on the bed as I heard footsteps come down the hall. There was a small knock on the door, then it opened a bit further, and I saw Cam’s warm face on the other side.

“Hey,” he softly grinned. I tried to say something but couldn’t. No words formed in my throat. All that came out was a small smile followed by a knitted brow. Seeing that I was inches from breaking down, Campbell quickly shut the door and began to walk over. I jumped off the bed and met him in the middle, falling onto his chest. He rocked me back and forth gently, stroking my hair. I knew he didn’t know what to say. What do you say to a girl who has just cheated on you with permission?

“I’m sorry.” I cried into his shoulder. He shushed me.

“I know. There’s nothing you could have done.” There was a silence in the room that said he blamed himself for my bruises. His hands moved up to cup my face so he could look into my eyes. The button up shirt slipped down over my shoulder and Cam caught a glance of a bruise there. He gently ran his fingers across it with a stern look on his face.

“It wasn’t your fault,” I whispered. He looked back at my face, said nothing, but stroked my cheek with his thumb. Cam bent down and gave me a soft kiss. I’d almost forgotten how safe he makes me feel.

“Come eat something,” He smiled, grabbing for my hand, “Andre’s out buying fresh produce for tonight. There’s fresh bread and cheese that has your name written on it.”

Campbell led me down the hall too the small table inside the kitchen where I had sat so many years ago scarfing down a bowl of soup. He sweetly pulled out my chair, and then placed a plate in front of me with fresh fruit and bread on it. Some cheese lay on a platter in the center of the table. He walked over to a pot on the stove, stirred it, and then poured a cup of old coffee before sitting down beside me. Cam stared blankly at the dish.

“I’ll kill him.”

I froze in the middle of slicing a piece of bread. “Something told me you might,” I calmly regained my composure, dipping into a little bit of Angevin. Cam looked at me with a very protective face.

“It’s not right. And I swear to God, Shantay, I’ll kill him for it if he ever comes in again.”

“Hey,” I spoke slowly and deeply, that comforting tone that he liked. I got up out of my chair and sat down on his lap, straddling his legs. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I slung mine around his neck. I wanted to give Cam some word of encouragement, but I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t defend that bastard for roughing me up.

“I thought I could do this, Shantay. I thought I could be the man that you needed; the man that was your one constant in this hell hole.” His eyes were shining my reflection. I rested my head on his shoulder.

“I love you,” I whispered into his ear, “I’ve always loved you. Campbell, it’s always been you.” I pulled back to look into his eyes once more. “You are the one constant in my life. You are the man that I need. And you can do this.” I kissed his cheek. “And I’m never going to leave you.”

He stared into me for a moment, and then drew me in for a deep kiss. His hands gripped a bruise, and I flinched in pain. He looked at me with hate in his eyes. I bent down to kiss him again while I moved his hand up my back just out of range of my bruising.

I pressed my lips against his, and spoke. “Don’t be jealous.”
He kissed me deeply.

“I won’t,” He promised. “Now finish your breakfast and go report to Harold before I change my mind to seek out that bastard and shoot him for making you do this.”

I had hoped that I could make it back to my room to change before talking to Harold, but I had no such luck.
“We aren’t allowing him back.” Harold pulled out a chair for me in front of his desk. He had flagged me down in front of his office. The man walked over, quietly shut his door, and then sat in his own chair, staring me in the eyes. They moved over the button up shirt I was wearing. I could read the thoughts behind his eyes before he even opened his mouth.

“It’s nothing,” I coldly reassured him.

“Campbell is a very good man,” He started in response, but I cut him off.

“It’s nothing. He’s nothing but a friend, Harold, I promise.”

“Is that why you’re wearing his shirt? Is that why he stormed up here this morning to report the man that paid you good money last night?” Harold’s voice rose sharply. I sat in silence. I didn’t know what to say. If Cam had already talked to Harold, there was nothing I could do to convince him otherwise.

“…it’s just an infatuation,” I finally spoke, never breaking eye contact.

“Infatuations are dangerous in this business, Shantay.” He had a very serious look on his face. A bird chirped outside the window despite the gray clouds that threatened to overtake the sun. I hoped it would rain. Waking up in Campbell’s bed would be so nice if it were raining outside. “It could get you killed,” Harold tried to get my attention again. “Even worse,” he spoke gravely, “he could be killed.”

“Harold,” I turned my head to look back at my boss, “it won’t. I’m not stupid.” I stood up from my chair and turned to walk out the door.

“You’re right, you aren’t stupid,” Harold boomed in a tone that kept me from taking another step. “But you are inexperienced, Shantay. And I know this business better than anyone. So you’d be wise to heed my warning.”

I stood motionless, my back turned to his desk where I knew he still sat. “I’m sorry, Harold,” I turned my head to look him in the eye, “you won’t have to speak to me about it again.” Sensing that I was inches from losing a job, I walked coolly out of his office. My mind was so preoccupied by the thought of what to do about Campbell, that I found myself quite suddenly in my room not entirely remembering what I was there for. Once I’d caught my breath, I sat down at my vanity mirror to begin getting ready for the night. I twisted my hair into a knot, reached for a pin to hold it in place, and then grabbed another lock of hair to repeat the process. I stained my lips a lustful color of red and proceeded to lace up my corset to the best of my ability.

The day had slipped away into evening, and the lights of the Moulin Rouge began to twinkle in the courtyard. I watched them from my window, mindlessly watching the power hungry men pour into the front doors. A growing rumble came up through the floorboards from downstairs as the band began to play. I picked up a jeweled hair pin and stuck it skillfully in its place. I glanced around the room, ensuring its cleanliness for whatever might happen here tonight. The sound of cancan girls walking down the hallway in heels was a dead giveaway that it was almost curtain. I took one last sorry glance at my painted face before walking out of the room and down to the dance hall.

I had to see Campbell tonight.

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“I’m a diamond salesman,” the young man dancing opposite from me tried desperately to impress me. It’s a good thing that I can pretend to be interested fairly easily.

“Ooh,” I came up close and cooed in his ear, “I’ll show you a diamond that’s worth buying.” With my arms wrapped around his neck and body pressed against his, it’s not too difficult to give a boy a hardon. I pulled my face back to look him deep in his eyes. Blue. Like Cam’s. He looked me up and down, hardly able to believe that I’d picked him for the night.

“Miss Angevin,” He spoke deeply, “what do you say to finding a room somewhere?”

I grinned sultrily and grabbed his hand, leading the boy off the dance floor. The maze of hallways to get back to mine must have baffled him. New customers are always clueless to the web-like pattern of backstage. I opened my door with an arch in my back. Men like the sight of a woman in curves. I wrapped my fingers in the buttons of his shirt and pulled him into the room. He managed to kick the door closed before I pulled him on top of me into the bed. The boy kissed me hard and deep, but far less meaningful than Cam does. I didn’t care that I had been comparing every man to Campbell, he was next on the list for the evening, despite being bad for business.

The young man’s hands moved up my corset and began to pull it carefully apart. Such skill with his fingers. The girls would kill to have this boy tonight. I snaked my hands up the back of his shirt and began to rake my fingernails down his back as his mouth moved from my lips to my neck. Once my corset was tossed aside, I flipped over him to throw off my dress, a kneeling straddle over his groin. The boy, laying flat on his back, unbuttoned his shirt as he hungrily watched me pull the dress over my head, exposing my breasts to his feasting eyes. And in that moment, I felt wanted. Wanted more than ever before. The most beautiful dancer at the Moulin Rouge. My mind dipped into its libido and I instinctively scoured my hands down my naked half to the small lacy bloomers that now lay between my customer’s erection and his would be delight. I put my hands on either side of his head and gazed deeply into his blue eyes. Grayer than Campbell’s, but that’s why this man is a customer and not a lover. It’s all a part of the act.

I helped him pull his shirt off. Pressing the fabric to my breasts, I kissed it before flinging it across the room. This was too easy. I sat on his thighs and began to work at the button sealing his trousers. Once achieving my goal, I gave him a small sultry look before laying down over his half-naked body. My hand slipped inside his trousers and I slid myself up his torso to bite his collarbone. I toyed with the base of his shaft a little, hoping he’d man up a little and pin me to the bed. No such luck.

“Well Mr. Diamond Man, what is it that you’d like for me to do to you this evening?” I whispered into his ear. “A lookie?” I knelt up, straddling his waist again and began to play with my hair while sticking my chest out. I stopped and grinned, seeing the smile spread across his face, “A feelie?” I laid down next to him and pulled his hand over my breast. He flipped over me and indeed began to play more with my chest. My nipples stuck out defiantly from my skin. He teased them, flicked them, and then I caught his attention by smoothly taking hold of the hair on the back of his head. “Or a doie?” I murmured darkly. He thought for a moment.

“I think you know,” the boy darkened up a little bit, reaching for my bloomers. His hand delved inside and pinched a small fold of skin.

“Not your first time?” I grinned.

“Definitely not,” he breathed huskily. “Now pull off my pants,” he commanded.

“Honey,” I smirked and sat up, “I think you forgot who makes the rules in this room.” I hooked my fingers in his belt loops.

“No, I didn’t,” this time he smirked back at me. “I do.” He pushed me back into the bed. This was more like it. The boy kissed me hard, his tongue twisting around in my mouth. He pinned both of my hands above my head and I grabbed the headboard, but a small feeling of panic stuck my brain. His mouth planted little kisses down my neck to my breasts. He pushed his hands back into my bloomers and toyed with what he found there. The boy sucked at the nipple of my left breast, biting, nibbling, and teasing. I could feel my body giving in to him. He dipped a finger into my body and pulled it back out again, shimmering with liquid. The boy held it up to my lips and pressed his finger inside my mouth. I licked it clean against my own wishes, but my job is to please the customer. He wanted me to. Now it was his turn to straddle my waist. I had another slight feeling of apprehension, like I couldn’t get away if I needed to. I shook the thought from my mind, but the customer had already seen the change in my eyes.

“What is it?” He asked, breaking character himself.

“Nothing, baby,” I smiled my sex kitten smile. “Let me help.” I slid off the bed and he watched me walk across the room. “How about we play a little?” I took a burgundy scarf from my dresser and brought it to the boy. “Do with me what you wish.”

He took the scarf in his hands and looked me in the eyes. “Funny,” he smiled, flattening out the scarf, “I was going to say the same thing,” and tied it around his own head. So he’s one of those men. I stood up and took another scarf from my dresser and tied it around his hands, securing it also to the bed frame. I picked up a feather duster that was laid out for just such an occasion and brushed it gently across his skin, starting at the collarbone and working down to his opened trousers. He grinned widely. I dropped the duster on the bed and pulled his trousers down to his ankles. The boy kicked them off on his own. His erection tented the undergarments that I now had to pull off. I hooked my fingers around the hem and pulled them slowly off his body as well. I picked up the feather duster once more and tickled his groin for some added laughs. He strained against the scarf, but intentionally withheld enough force to get free. The boy was enjoying this.

“Suck me,” he commanded. My mind flashed to memories of last night. I didn’t know if I could do it. “Suck me!” He said again. I placed my hands on his pelvis and dipped my head down to his flesh. I gingerly began to suck on the tip, afraid of taking it all into my mouth. Suddenly a hand was on the back of my head pushing my mouth down over his cock. He had freed himself from the scarf, clearly unsatisfied with the job I was doing. The man forced himself into my mouth and I panicked. Gagging, I wrenched myself up and emptied the contents of my stomach onto the floor. Immediately feeling sorry, the boy jerked up, ripped the blindfold from his eyes, and placed a hand on my back, rubbing it back and forth in a vain attempt to make me feel better.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, shocked. Clearly he wasn’t the man he pretended to be in bed.

“No,” I coughed, “I’m sorry. I can’t do this.” I stood up and crossed the room to my dress and slid it back over my head. “Not tonight.” The boy sat speechless on the bed and slowly stood up. He pulled his underwear back on and handed me the corset that was next to his feet. “I’m so sorry,” I looked him in the face, “no charge. I’m not quite myself tonight. You can come back another night and I’ll be here just for you.” He looked at me apologetically. It’s not often you get a forgiving customer.

“I can leave you something,” he grinned, “it felt good.” With that, he pulled up his trousers, buttoned them shut, and then reached in his pocket for a coin. He pressed it into my palm and gave me a small kiss. “I’ll definitely be back,” he grinned. Tears began to fill my eyes, and I kissed him on the cheek. “I know this could lose you your job, so I’ll keep quiet,” he spoke into my ear as he grasped me about the waist. I put my arms around his neck. I cried not because he was saving my job, but because I was ashamed. Ashamed I could do this all with Campbell in mind. Ashamed I turned down a customer. Ashamed I couldn’t shake this trapped feeling from my mind.

“Thank you,” I smiled at him. The customer buttoned up his shirt, helped me lace my corset, and then went on his way out the door. I gazed out the window as I silently fixed my hair. The night life was still going strong and the clock only read midnight. Knowing that I smelled like another man, I walked down the hall to the bathing room. There were bound to be some other girls in there, possibly with customers, but as far as they know I just finished early this evening. Some men are like that. Steam came through the small crack in the door and I braced myself upon opening it. Indeed there were a few couples making cozy in the bath house. Juliette, a friend of mine, bounced happily up and down on a bearded man’s lap. Her bosom bounced in his face and I couldn’t help but think that it was a little less than classy. Jacque, another friend and dancer, was shamelessly pleasuring another cancan dancer on the ground with his mouth. Some of the girls that had no takers for the night were bathing early. A blonde stepped out of her wooden tub and began to dry off.

“Here, Angevin,” she smiled, “I’m done with mine.” I grinned pleasantly and began to undress on the bench. I tried my best to hide last night’s bruises, but no use. The girl kept asking questions. I felt slightly guilty that she knew my name, but I had no clue she even existed until this very moment.

“What happened to you?” She asked with wide eyes. A brunette peered from the edge of her tub as well, perplexed by the purple welts on my skin.

“Bad customer,” I said. All the girls have been there. Sooner or later, a girl will get beaten whether it’s because of her previous boss or a previous customer; it’s just a fact of the underworld. She grimaced and wrapped her white skin in a towel. “Don’t worry about it, honey,” I smiled at her, “I don’t feel a thing. Always keep your chin up in this business. Otherwise no one will see your face.” She wouldn’t make it far. Sometimes you can just tell. She’s not cut out for this. She’ll run away in the next year with some customer who’ll sweep her off her feet. Good for her. I can’t afford to.

I stepped into the warm water of the tub, careful not to get my hair wet. I’d just be doing this again later. Some girls have three customers in a night and manage to bathe in between each. It’s a personal choice. Some men don’t like the love stink, some do. It just depends on what kind of image you want to portray. Campbell deserves the best from me. If he wanted to make love to any cancan dancer he could. They’d do it free of charge too. So tonight I wasn’t going to be a cancan dancer, I decided to be Shantay. Ditch the Angevin title and go back to basics with the girl that Cam loved: me. The brunette soaked in the tub beside me, watching me the whole time as I cleaned off Mr. Diamond Salesman. There would be other girls for him, but finishing the job wouldn’t be bad either.

Feeling cleaner than ever, I stepped out of the steamy tub just in time to witness Juliette come to a climax. She stood up, dripping her customer’s sticky substance onto the steamy floor.

“Oh! Hey, Angevin!” She called. The bearded man stood up behind her and offered her a seat on the bench. She accepted.

“Hey, Juliette. Nice night?” I called awkwardly, drying off with a towel.

“Definitely,” she laughed. “This guy…..wooo…..” was all she managed to say. The man knelt down in front of her and parted her legs. Juliette put a hand on the back of the man’s head as he delved a tongue between her thighs, licking up his own mess. Her moans began to fill the room.

“I’ll leave you to it then,” I said politely and began to walk out.

“Hold on, honey!” She shouted as I turned my back. “Come here, I want to talk to you about those bruises.” I shamefully walked over and sat on the bench beside her, unsure of how the man would feel.

“Won’t he uh…” I started.

“No,” Juliette cut me off, “He’s my brother in law. Married my sister when I was four. He can’t complain about anything.” The man pulled back and swallowed, licking his lips and I couldn’t help but be disturbed. “Ten minutes?” She asked him. He agreed, bit her nipple, and then stood up and walked across the room to get in one of the tubs.

“Juliette, it’s nothing,” I lied once the man was out of ear shot.

“That’s not what those bruises say,” she insisted.

“It was just a bad customer,” I sighed. She stared at me angrily.

“Just a bad customer?! What’s Harold doing about this? Angevin, no bad customer is ‘just a bad customer’, not when he does that.”

“Harold kicked him out.”

“Damn right he kicked him out!” She shouted loud enough for Jacque to hear, who recently began to pump into his anonymous mistress on the floor. Juliette looked me in my eyes. “What does Cam think?”

“He thinks he wants to kill him,” I shrugged, still unsure of how to take that comment.

“I don’t blame that boy. Honey, you better hope that bad customer doesn’t come back,” she put a hand on my cheek, “for both of your sakes.”

I sighed. “I’m meeting Cam right now actually. I just finished a small job and feel like spending some time with a man who really loves me.” I grinned.

“Absolutely,” she agreed, standing at the same time I did. “I’ll cover with Harold for you if he asks,” she smiled.
“Thanks, Juliette.”

She shared an awkward hug and then walked over to where her brother in law sat in a tub. I left just in time to miss round two between the two of them and smiled to myself. I’ll never be like that. Thanks to Harold. I re-fitted myself into all my clothing and took my hair down. He likes it that way. Rain began to softly patter against my window. A small smirk sat on my lips at the thought of all the men in the courtyard either rushing out home or in for more fun. I left my boots in the corner and began to make the careful trek back to the kitchen.

Snaking my way through the catwalks, I was careful not to be seen by anyone. Asking questions is dangerous, especially if they make their way back to Zidler. I tousled my hair a little before finally reaching the kitchen door. I waited for my moment and then slipped unnoticed inside. Andre had his back turned to the door, actively scrubbing dishes in the dim light. Cam was most likely doing the same. I padded over to his bedroom and peeked in the door before walking in. I could see the silhouette of my love sitting on his bed. He was in the middle of taking off his shoes. Andre must have let him off early. He grinned at my figure leaning against the doorframe. I smiled widely, but I wasn’t sure if Cam could see. Hearing footsteps from the kitchen, I quickly popped inside his room and pressed myself to the wall.

“I’m going home,” Andre gruffly said, standing in the hallway.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Campbell stood, “good night, Andre.”

“Good night, worm,” the old man huffed and locked the kitchen door behind him. The darkness surrounded us. The street lamps outside the window offered enough light. The rain calmed my mind as our eyes adjusted to the dark. Campbell slowly stood up and placed a hand on my cheek before pulling me into a passionate kiss. I wrapped my arms under his and clung to the shirt that covered his shoulders. He smelled warm and comforting. His lips pressed to mine, it’s hard to imagine anything else exists.

I wish it was just an infatuation.