Running the Gauntlet

Running the Gauntlet

Part III: Frightened Deception

 

My heart won't stop pounding, I can't stop it. That was the closest I have been to death in my life and instead of being as completely terrified and frozen as I thought I would be, I was terrified but part of me felt itself come back to life. The sounds around me and everything in that room seemed so clear and obvious that I couldn't miss a single thing. To top it all, I didn't die! I didn't die! No bruises- other than for sore, cut, and bloodied fingers, arms, and forearms from the box and the smashed stones. I also couldn't stop myself from starting to skip and turn around a bit childishly while unceremoniously, deliriously giggling. I figured it was allowed after such a moment. I could feel my hair flap against the back of my neck before accidentally plowing into someone- a rather solid someone from the best I could tell from how the impact felt. At least whoever it was had kept me from falling, but they hadn't removed their hands from my arms either. There was nothing soft to have been found as I turned around either- although he apparently decided he wasn't going to let me back up from him either since he just changed his grip to maintain a hold on the top of my arms near the shoulders. The guy I all but broke my back running into had only been knocked back a step or two maybe at most. Quite frankly, he was rather ordinary looking almost, except for the intensely cold gaze that seemed to look down only a few inches at me, I think they were brown... maybe green. Whoever he was, he had to have been the first guy I had seen under 5'11” in a while.

“You should watch where you are going.” He had a calm voice, nothing that would draw much attention to himself other than the assertive, almost obnoxiously authoritative tone it had. Whatever it was, it seemed to suit his expression. I think the hair on the back of my neck stood on edge as the God-awfully composed music went atonally haywire for a moment then returned to a more minor key in the base clef. It had a creepy sound, but not so overpowering. Fuck, the music made me miss part of what the guy said too. Dammit. I hope it was nothing major. Although, he did seem look almost smug for a moment as the corners of his mouth curved up slightly as his grip turned tighter and nearly crushed my arm bones while popping my shoulders out of socket! “You are a lively one aren't you ingenue. You hear it, don't you.”

Those pithy words were clearly stated in Inglish. I couldn't have mistaken it if I tried... The accent wasn't even that far from my own either. I think I was too shocked and absolutely stunned out of my skin to say anything in return, or even figure out what the hell he was talking about. But the thing that stopped me the most was the fact that his eyes weren't dead. They blazed intensely with such a coldness that I felt frozen in place and started to nearly suffocate as the loss of figurative heat chilled so thoroughly that even my organs were starting to fail. That's when I saw his smirk. It could have been nothing else but one... He just felt wrong- but almost didn't at the same time. I am officially confused again. What else is new...

“Pay attention little girl, you wouldn't want to cause an incident now would you. Or would you...” With that statement, the mysterious ass-hat switched back to basic and walked around me as if he didn't have the time of day for someone like me. At least he finally decided to stop trying to wrench my arms out of their sockets! My shoulders and arms feel like a walking bruise right now! Just who the fuck does that asshole think he is?! I oughta... I oughta... Where the hell did he go? Sonuva bitch, I blinked and he disappeared.

I think I stood there like an idiot trying to figure out which way the pompous jackass went for a while. To be honest, I think I forgot to pay attention to my surroundings period since I seemed to miss when the hallways became more crowded around me. Maybe not the brightest thing to do when you've just been in such a run-in. Then again, I've never been known for doing the smart thing so to speak. At least around here, most of the important people are going to be more interested in other things such as looking more competent than those around them, being more awe-inspiring than those they surround themselves with, and getting towards where they needed to be before too much time had past by than paying attention to what those beneath them do. Maybe this isn't such a good thing or is it? I dunno anymore. I just don't know, but my arms are hurting worse instead of less as this goes on. Did he break a bone or something? I hate this place. I hate it. I hate the people who walk around so high and mighty here, the God-awful background music that pipes in at the worst possible times, the horrifically auto-dimming lights, the fact that the heating system seems to fail systematically and lets everything start to freeze, the fact that the computers are a pain in the ass and everywhere, the noise the doors make when they close, and everything! Most of all, I hate the fact that I'm stuck here. I hate it. I want my life back! There has to be a way out of this hellhole. I refuse to give in. I refuse. I don't know who that asshole was, but he was the first person I saw who didn't look like he was dying... Not a reassuring thing considering. I don't want that to be me. I'd die first before I became like that.

"Diamond, what are you doing here? We’ve been looking all over for you, and believe me, that’s no small feat when it comes to you." I jumped as I heard that over a faint treble and base clef melody. I knew the cold voice that tried to maintain some compassion for a moment,Courtney. She must have sneaked up behind me while I was stewing or I was just fuming so hard that I didn't even notice her coming up in the hall. Although it is a fairly crowded and busy hall. I could hear the chill out of her tone and gaze before I saw it. I think that made it just worst as I looked up to see it in her face as well. I've never gotten used to be looked over so clinically and coolly like a tiger's next victim. “Well... Why are you just spacing out here in this hall sulking like a small child when we have training to go to. Stop gawking like a toddler and get a move on, we have fifteen standard minutes to cross this complex and get to the training facility. Maybe you could finally prove you're capable of learning something this time.” her voice had lost all warmth at that moment as she speared me with her eyes. I don't know what she saw as she looked at me, I dunno if I want to.

“Sulking?! I wasn't sulking at all, just thinking. I mean, for such a technologically superior civilization why can't they keep a heating source working? That's all.” I know I must of sounded huffy when her gaze became a glare. Well, I just dealt with the ass-hat master of glares so I’m not freezing up anymore now. I just ended up tilting my head up to let her see that- defiantly meeting her glare with my own pitiful determination not to cave in more. I just looked death in the face and survived! I am not letting you or that ass hat bring that down for a minute. All I ended up doing as the minutes went on was just pissing her off more, if her expression was anything to go by. It darkened into an almost furious twitch before it soothed itself out. Then she just looked at me like I was something on the sole of her shoe. I am starting to wish I was taller, just so people wouldn't be able to look down me so easily, well at least not everyone could.

The slap came out of nowhere. I really didn't see Courtney raise her hand to do it at all, but the right side of my face feels like its been stung and burned at the same time while I can clearly see her left hand and arm being crossed under her chest along with her right arm. My nose aches as if I had ran into the side of a brick building face first. I lost my balance from the violence of the backhand, but at least I didn't tumble to the ground. I know I'm starting to tear up some, I can feel it but I feel kinda numb as well. I can't believe she just did what I think she did. This has to be some sort of nightmare. It just has to be. Courtney would never normally hit someone like that, she abhorred such 'casual physical violence' as she used to call it back home. I can feel something warm running down the side of my face and from my nose as well. It's just a tear, that all. It has to only be that.... I don't want to think that my cousin, my friend, would draw blood with such an action. It's not like her in the slightest of the least bit. Her eyes are even colder than before as she leered down at me by the slightest of fractions. “Don't you ever look at me or speak to me like that again. This isn't some nice safe little place where you can whine over trivial little things that only you even seem to notice. Stop playing pretend and come back to reality. We are going to train with some of Lord Vader's other students, if you are smart... You'll look down the whole time if you can't wipe that smugly defiant expression off your face little girl. I would also forget that I ever knew that whiny and arrogant tone of voice as well. Grow up and dry it up, stop sniveling like an abused spoilt brat. Now we have only ten minutes to get there, and if I'm late because of you then you will find that backhand was a merciful beginning.”

I tried to keep from crying, but I couldn't. I knew there were people in the hall glancing over to see this, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't even feel enough to be humiliated at the moment- never mind mortified. I don't know how we are going to get through this now. I want some chocolate, I need it to think about how to fix this. Can I just go back to having to worry about my parents grounding me for a bad mark in school, dealing with my friends arguing, my little sister tearing my room apart, and dreading homework. I want to go back to just playing board games during lunch breaks while betting food on card games. It's only been a short time, but it feels like forever almost. Maybe things would go back to normal if... when we find a back. Please whoever hears such things, let things go back to normal. I promise I will do better in math and actually pay attention in even the boring government classes. I promise I will get continual high marks if that's what it takes for us to get back. I'll stop being so impatient with my siblings; I'll stop being difficult when my dad says I shouldn't go near certain people; I'll stop being lazy when it comes to doing chores, I promise. Just let things go back to normal. I'll be a better person. Just let things go back to normal. I would do anything not to be here right now, with my left arm being crushed further in Courtney's grip as she drags me towards wherever we are going. I would give anything for this all to be a bad dream. I'm tired of this place, I'm ready to wake up and be in my own bed back home.

“Pinch the bridge of your nose. There's a med droid where we are going today, it can fix the rest of it- I wish you wouldn't press me so much. This is reality now, you have to accept that Diamond. This is home now, whether we like it or not, you must accept that fact.” I think I must have been hearing things again... It almost sounded like the Courtney I remembered but the words didn't seem right coming out of her mouth. It sounded like some rhetoric memorized in a class. Nothing about them were personal, it almost seemed mechanical like the stupid computers around here. I think the robots might sound more alive than the phrasing, but the tone was warm for a moment. “I know it hurts, but you have to stop crying quickly- You cannot show weakness around here if you want to survive. You have to stop fighting changing to live in this world, it isn't going to help you any at all. Please, if not for my sake then for your own sake. I don't want to see you die. You have to try to fit in and prove yourself useful in what you can here or they will kill you.”

I don't know how my right hand came to my nose to pinch it a bit. I could still feel something warm and sticky on the side of my face while the nosebleed subsided as I was dragged along behind her. I wish I could say I understood what she meant, but it didn't seem right most of it. I at least understand not showing weakness as I tried to force my tear ducts to stop working. At least I hadn't been sobbing too hard I guess, but it was still hard to force my breathing back to normal. You would have thought a soothing normal vocal tone would calm one down a bit, not make them want to breakdown more. I don't really recall how long it took to stop myself from wanting to crumble to the ground and sobbing it out, but we got to the place we needed to be at all too soon for my liking. Still, the hissing door slid into the wall by the time I had gotten it together. The grip on my arm was gone, replaced by a light shove against the middle of my back to move into the room. I hope tripping over the threshold counts as entering, I really do because that's how I ended up falling nearly face first into the arena for lack of a better word. There were some benches around the walls and nearly ten people around deflecting blaster bolts and bouncing off objects being tossed around by some unknown machine with some odd laser swords, just when I thought things couldn't get weirder. Although the temperature was colder than before, the lighting was so bad I have no idea how they could see to block the things, and the music being piped in is what caused me to trip, it was so clashing and low that I thought my head was going to explode. It took everything I had to keep from curling up into a ball on the floor and holding my head where I was. Although I guess I wasn't in the way of the door as it hissed closed behind Courtney, as I stood up to look right at a black suit of armour. I felt myself shivering before I felt a hand land gently on top of my right shoulder and an oddly chilly source of warmth behind me. The background music seemed to become more melodiously smoother for a moment, almost like a sad ballad that was in a lower tone but still had a pleasant higher counter melody. Maybe the composer changed his mind for a moment and Courtney is closer behind me than I thought.

“You were ordered to show up twenty minutes ago, I do not like to be kept waiting.” The sibilantly robotic hissing sound of breathing punctuated each word coming from the armored figure of impatient anger. It felt like my body was being squeezed tightly by an invisible machine press of some kind and the bad music came back underneath the sad ballad. The temperature dropped even lower and the lights were almost non-existent. I couldn't move an inch and it hurt to breath, I could hear the rough sound of Courtney's breathing as well, but when I tried to turn my head to look at her- she was to my right instead of behind me. She was starting to turn blue around the skin near her left ear. The squeezing tightened as we both struggled to breathe and I ended up looking back at the man-at least I think he's a man- looming over us. “This is your one warning. Do not try my patience or good will again.” The pressure stopped all of a sudden as the temperature warmed back up a little bit and the lights came back up some as the chilly warmth tried to wrap around me. I swore I heard someone telling me it would be alright, just to relax. I ended up looking around for the voice, but it was a guy's voice. I ended up following the advice, since at least the guy didn't seem anger or upset. Maybe he was behind me then, it would be nice to know there was at least one person who was normal here other than Aurelius. The mechanized synthesized voice boomed on further almost emotionlessly. “Du'pre find a saber to use and join with Keats. You will figure out how to do what is necessary as you go since you could not follow a simple order. Berchange, you are to observe what they are doing. This is a far more advanced group than your level, I want to know everything you see, hear, and feel, as it happens. Is that understood.” I got the inkling it wasn't an option to argue as Lord Vader strode over to a wall where a barrel went flying towards someone with feline-like features as the horrible underlying music surged loudly for a minute and the lights flickered. I don't know how it was launched so, there were no machines or switches to move it. Vader only barely flickered his wrist and sent it flying. Maybe this has something to do with those lessons that Hethrir has been trying to drill into us. The ones I'm no good at... Shit. I'm screwed. The presence behind me remained, I wonder who the guy Vader ignored was... But if he was being ignored, maybe I shouldn't bring it up to the suit of walking armour. Maybe.

I felt myself being pushed from behind, or was it pulled, by a freezing force that surrounded me until I ended up stumbling over to the bench nearest where Vader stood. It was an odd view of people dodging, bending light at angles, cutting through things. I'm actually glad I wasn't involved in t he whole mess yet. With how my arms were hurting, I would be hit every time I blinked, I was never that graceful or skilled at such activities with balls- never mind lasers. It was a cacophony of mayhem and I had to mention every thing I saw, heard, or felt?! What I supposed to feel? Well, at least I could mention things I always noticed I guess.... “The guy in black and gray got hit by the beam, but cut the barrel in half. The temperature dropped in here again, the background sound composers awful music got louder, the lights dimmed significantly, and the cursing is high.” I started as I sat down gingerly. I don't know if Vader was paying any attention to what I was saying, but the ignored guy stayed near me. I couldn't see anyone and that was the odd thing, but I'll deal with that later. Maybe I'm starting to lose my mind now too.... Great, just great. Fifteen and starting to have issues. I kept doing this for what felt forever as my throat started to get dry and sore from talking so much with no sign of reception or recognition from my silent captor. I managed it until I saw Courtney about to be hit by a reflected beam from Mitchel's laser saber as well as a few flying barrel fragments. I don't want them to get hurt, she might have slapped me earlier, but that had to be just an accident! I don't want her or Mitchel to get hit by either things.... The lights went bright for a moment as the temperature warmed and the music became a quick jig. The beam seemed to ricochet inches from Courtney into a wall as the barrel fragments exploded and landed harmlessly around Courtney and Mitchel in a circle. My head hurt a little and I felt emotionally drained and tired for a second.... However, it seemed when I stopped speaking Vader decided to look at me while the rest of the group looked around confused. I think I might have messed up something somehow. “Interesting. Practice is over for now. You all are to return to your quarters and speak nothing of this to anyone until I have determined what happened. Now leave.” I tried to get up when I heard the hissing emanations from the over-sized armour wearing Vader and leave with all the others. Although I found a heavy, over-sized hand holding me down by the back of my neck and the top of my shoulders. I ended up shivering under the grip while the arena emptied. “Not you, not yet. Do you know what just happened.”

I shivered again under the quietness of the monotone voice as I forced myself to look up at Vader. “Not really. The others were doing as I said earlier but somehow a bolt ricocheting from Mitchel's saber ended up veering away from Courtney and the barrel fragments exploded before they hit them. I don't know how they did... Just that they did. It was warmer for a moment and the lights started to work better but that's it really.” I know I was trying not to sound shaky when I spoke to Vader, but I was felt like some large beast was staring into my eyes and down into me. I couldn't help but feel ready to bolt but unable to move. I don't know why he needed me here to say that, surely he saw it as well as I did if not better, right?

“You should exercise more self-control over your emotions and meditate upon your anger and hate, Diamond. Such outburst like that one could prove deadly to you without control... Your anger will give you strength, use it. Focus on it. You will speak of this to no one but me, and we will not speak of it again. Focus and prevent such instances in the future; I will overlook this for now.” There was no emotion in his voice as he knelt down for a moment to loom only a bit above me. The grip had lightened to a barely there pressure as I had two hands on my shoulders now. “You did that, but you acted upon weak emotions. You can do greater if you use stronger, more powerful motivation for your acts but you must focus to keep from doing it without thought.” I shivered under the quiet tone of nothingness as he spoke. If I closed my eyes for a moment... “Go to the med droid on the other side to get yourself together. I need you to meditate for the rest of the day on accessing your anger, your hate, your fears if need be and I do not want you to have any distractions. We will speak of your progress tomorrow.” I didn't speak but just nodded at him. I don't know why I should focus on such things, I try to ignore them as much as I can. I don't like feeling scared or angry. I don't like being a hateful being... I may hate things here but I don't like the fact that I have to hate them. It doesn't make sense.

It seemed that the nod was enough as Vader strode on out almost as if nothing were in here or in his way. Fragments flew out of his path as if they were magnets being repelled by their opposite poles. It took a moment to see the lights brighten up considerably and the room warmed to an actually pleasant temperature. The ignored guy seemed to be with me, but I don't know how I couldn't see him. “Okay, everyone is gone now... If I'm not going crazy you can come out now. I promise I don't bite... Er, I'm harmless really.” I tried to call out and look for the other for a while but I saw no sign other than hearing a ballad every so often before it faded. “Okay, if I could disappear like that I would too. Maybe I am just going crazy... Great, institutional at fifteen.” I ended up kicking a bit of metal only to hop back biting my lower lip and tongue as it hurt! So, maybe it motivated me to get to the medic droid limping quicker. I don't think I can meditate on the hate issue or the anger one, but I'm tired of being scared. Does that count?

It took too long for the droid to finish scanning and fixing me up. Although pain killer was not included in the treatment. So, I now I have soreness for no reason. Just my day, really. I ended up wandering out of the room once I could, only to figure out... I have no idea where I am. Lost again, great.... Time to figure out this side too now. Oh well, beats meditating on the horrid trio of subjects. Maybe, I'll figure out if I'm just going nuts or where that guy is hiding. That sounds like fun actually.

 

 

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