Role Reversal

See Part 1 for disclaimers, etc.

Part 3: Secrets

Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker strode down the boarding ramp of the freighter early the next morning.

Well, for them it seemed early, but on Coruscant it was the middle of the afternoon. The vagaries of space travel and differing planetary times often bothered Anakin. It was almost a tradition for him to complain about it whenever they landed.

But not today. Today, Anakin wore a dazzling smile and walked with a new spring in his step. Sure, every one of those steps jarred a certain, rather sensitive, part of his anatomy, but that only made his smile widen. In fact, he had made a conscious decision in the night not to heal himself, but to let the soreness be a constant reminder of his love for Obi-Wan. That and his Master’s last words to him on the freighter, “Remember I love you,” had him practically floating on air as they reached the bottom of the ramp.

Then Obi-Wan shot such a look over his shoulder that Anakin’s stride faltered. Looking up, he saw Mace Windu heading towards them. Confused, he fell a step behind, a much less happy expression now on his face.

“Obi-Wan, Anakin,” the senior Master acknowledged them, with a slight bow. They returned the greeting. “I’m sorry to intercept you like this, Obi-Wan, but your opinion is urgently needed. There has been another crisis on Dipcun.”

“Of course,” Obi-Wan said smoothly. He was considered the resident expert on the Dipcun situation, having dealt with that system’s many problems several times over the years. “Anakin, you go unpack. I will see you later.”

“But-” Anakin started to protest. He realized it was selfish, but he didn’t want to be away from his Master for even a moment.

“That is an order, young one.”

Nostrils flaring, Anakin managed to bite out a “Yes, Master,” before taking off for his rooms.

“’Young one?’” Anakin muttered as he slammed his door shut a few minutes later. “And what was that look about?”

Ripping open his bag, he upended it, letting the contents fall onto the floor, where they blended with other discarded clothing and various electronic parts. Then he tossed the bag in the vicinity of the closet, with considerably more force than necessary.

“Was that it, then? Did it mean nothing to him?” he asked the room. When it remained stubbornly silent, he sat heavily on the bed, his head in his hands.

That posture reminded him of the night before, and his eyes squeezed shut in non-physical agony. Compared to that, the physical reminder was of little consequence. But the physical reminder he could at least do something about.

Laying full length on the bed, he began a healing trance. Just before he managed to clear his mind, he heard a rich voice saying “Remember I love you” and felt a single hot tear rolling down his temple.

Some time later, Anakin was sitting in his only chair, tinkering half-heartedly with a broken data reader, when his door swished open to reveal Obi-Wan Kenobi.

“Come in,” the Padawan said, as though his Master had chimed. There was a touch of wariness and bitterness in his voice that he didn’t like, so he took a moment to center himself as he set down the reader and his tools. When he turned back, his Master was perched on the edge of the bed.

“Anakin, we-”

“What the hell is going on?” Anakin demanded, his attempt at calmness proving fruitless.

Obi-Wan sighed. He knew this conversation came too late, that he should have made time for it earlier. But they had used up their time together with…other things. There was no help for it now.

“I’m sorry, Anakin. I should have discussed this with you before. But it is imperative that our new relationship remain secret.”

“Why?” Anakin burst out. “Are you ashamed of me? Are you afraid other people might realize that the Great Obi-Wan Kenobi is human after all?”

“Of course not,” Obi-Wan replied, keeping his own voice calm with difficulty. “You know the rules, Anakin. Masters and their Apprentices are not supposed to-”

“Oh, yeah? Tell that to Adi Gallia and Siri Tachi.”

“That is only a rumor, no one-”

“What about Gib-Ot-Fa and Mikas? They are openly bonded!”

“Yes, but they waited until Mikas passed the Trials. The rules are very clear, Anakin. If we were found out-”

“What? It’s not like they would throw both of us out of the Order!” Anakin added a guffaw for emphasis. The very idea was obviously ludicrous to him.

“No, but…they could separate us.”

“Oh, sure, they say that, but have they ever really-”

“Yes, they have. I know…because it almost happened to me.”

Anakin checked his interruption just in time, stopping with his mouth open, the rhythm of his quick, harsh retorts broken. His brain processed the words, but it took a minute for the full implications to sink in.

“You… You and Qui-Gon?”

Wan Wan just nodded resignedly, while Anakin watched him, his face softening. Gracefully, he moved from the chao sio sit beside his Master on the bed.

“So, you…and him…and you got caught?” he asked quietly, one hand rubbing Obi-Wan’s back soothingly.

“Not exactly. We were never lovers,” the older man explained. Anakin deserved to know the whole truth, he could see that now. “As soon as we both expressed…interest in each other, I…I knew there were rules, so…I sought out advice. From Yoda.”

“And what did he say?”

Obi-Wan sighed, scrubbed his face with his hands. “He called us before the Council and ordered us to maintain a strict Master/Apprentice relationship, or be separated.”

“So what did you do?”

“What could we do?” Obi-Wan searched his Padawan’s eyes pleadingly, hoping he could understand. “We were monitored constantly from then on. There was no way we could have hidden it if we had tried to be lovers. So we waited, promising each other we would bond when I became a Knight.”

“And then he… Oh, Obi-Wan.” And Anakin took his Master into his arms, holding him tightly. “I’m so sorry.” After Qui-Gon’s death, they had both dealt with their grief in their own way, Anakin interpreting Obi-Wan’s pain as the loss of a father figure. He’d had no idea of the depth of his Master’s true feelings for the man.

“It’s all right, Anakin,” Obi-Wan reassured his Padawan, hugging him back firmly. “Now that I have you, it’s all right.” He pulled back, needing to see his lover’s face. He was grateful that the young man was being so understanding, but he needed him to understand everything. “Qui-Gon’s last lesson to me was not to set aside life until later. He said it often, ‘Live in the moment. Be mindful of the present.’ But we didn’t; we weren’t. I won’t make that same mistake again.” His hands tightened on his Padawan’s shoulders, and he gazed deeply into his eyes as he finished. “So, do you understand why we must keep this our secret?”

“Yes, Obi-Wan, of course.” Anakin nodded seriously, trying to convey his absolute agreement, while his mind looped and delved into horrible possibilities. What if Obi-Wan were killed, toHow How would he live without him? Would he be able to go on as bravely as Obi-Wan had, if the man he loved die his his arms?

Suddenly his eyes lit up, and he smiled a sad, sweet smile.

“Do you think, Master, that maybe…he knew?”

“Knew? Knew what?” Obi-Wan was completely lost by his Padawan’s mood shift.

“Qui-Gon. Do you think he knew that we…would be together?” Anakin replied, becoming more animated as the beauty of his idea took hold. “His last words, when he told you to train me, maybe he had Seen, maybe what he really meant…”

Obi-Wan’s face took on the same bittersweet expression. It was a nice interpretation. All those years of wondering why his Master’s last words had not been for him, had not consisted of endearments, or regrets, or wishes for him, but for a boy his Master hardly knew. All those years of resenting what had felt at the time like a burden but had grown into a gift. How nice to think the Qui-Gon had intended it that way from the beginning.

“Yes, Anakin, maybe he did know. Maybe he did intend this to happen. If so, I have even more to thank him for than I thought.”

They both smiled then, sitting there on the bed together, their arms around each other. It was only natural to lean in, for their lips to touch. Obi-Wan meant for it to be a quick kiss – they didn’t need anyone wondering why Master Kenobi stayed so long in his Padawan’s rooms. But the sweetness of their newfound closeness was still too sharp. It overwhelmed him, made him desperate for more. When he felt Anakin’s tongue slip into his mouth, he welcomed it gladly.

Anakin, too, was in no hurry to break their contact. Slowly, deliberately, he leaned his Master back until he was laying down, his feet still on the floor, Anakin half on top of him.

“I shouldn’t stay,” Obi-Wan whispered against persistent, demanding lips.

“Just a little while? Please?” returned Anakin’s plea, as his hand skimmed his Master’s chest, his leg, his groin.

“Yes.” It was more a sigh than a word.

Anakin smiled as his Master relaxed underneath him, his eyes closing. The younger man placed one last kiss on his lover’s delectable lips, then moved on. First he trailed his way over the red-gold beard until he found the smooth skin of his Master’s throat. e hee he lingered, feeling the pulse that beat so strongly, tasting the salty, musky sweetness that was so uniquely Obi-Wan. Trailing his hand back up to the neck of the older man’s tunic, he let his fingers slip underneath lay layers of cloth to delicately pet the warm skin underneath.

Deeper he went, searching for and finally finding one tiny nipple, rubbing it gently, and then more firmly as he felt his Master purring at the contact. When it had stiffened under his ministrations, Anakin moved his hand across the muscular chest toward the other side, while at the same time his lips migrated to an ear.

Obi-Wan lay under his Padawan, sighing and moaning as quietly as he could. He felt weightless, swimming in sensation. Never had he felt so loved, n had had he been so worshipped. His previous encounters had usually been short, furtive, and with partners he cared for as no more than a friend. Those had been shallow. This was deep.

“Anakin,” he said reverently, turning his head to capture his Padawan’s lips, needing that most intimate contact. Without even realizing it, he also reached out with the Force, pulling his Padawan to him. Also without realizing it, Anakin responded in kind.

If there had been an obser and and he had been wearing some sort of Force-revealing glasses, he would have been blinded by the brilliance of the Living Force energy which suddenly filled the room. Unwittingly transpor wav wav wave of their own making, Obi-Wan and Anakin, for the first time in their lives, truly entered the Moment.

Completely forgotten were their day-to-day concerns, their most deeply ingrained inhibitions, the new worries of their new relationship. In that moment, they knew nothing but their love for each other, and it was enough.

Swirling, spiraling everher,her, their bodies and minds locked in an embrace both physical and metaphorical, the Force filled them, blessed them. Until, at last, with a final mind-numbingly intense burst, it overflowed, and they fell apart, gasping for air as the energy slowly drained from the room.

~~~~

Far above, Yoda, deep in meditation, suddenly gasped, too, his eyes flying open. “Hrm?” he muttered, before settling back down, his eyes closing once more.

~~~~

“Wow,” Anakin breathed after several minutes had passed. It had taken him that long to regain control of his body. He did not feel paralyzed, just detached in a strangely pleasant way. Mentally, he performed a quick inventory, discovering that he had orgasmed during…whatever had just happened, a warm damp spot pressing against his softening erection. Somehow, it seemed beside the point. “Wow,” he said again. There didn’t seem to be any other word for it.

“Uh-huh,” Obi-Wan grunted in agreement from where he lay nearby. He was also belatedly finding an unexpected wet spot as he began to stir. He shois his head in an attempt to clear it, and turned to look at his Padawan. They shared a tired smile as each noted how beautiful the other looked, as though lit up from the inside.

Then the Moment slipped away, and reality came crashing back into the vacuum.

“I really should go,” Obi-Wan said reluctantly. As the Master, he felt it incumbent upon him that he should take responsibility for their secrecy. But he didn’t have to like it.

“I know,” Anakin replied, with equal reluctance.

There was another long pause while they simply stared into each other’s eyes, and Obi-Wan tried to muster enough will power to actually leave.

“Oh, I haven’t told you,” the Master said suddenly, remembering. “We leave for Dipcun tomorrow.” AgaiAgain?”

Obi-Wan smiled wryly at the familiar whining tone in his Padawan’s reply. It made him acutely aware of how young Anakin was.

“It will be good, you’ll see. We’ll have one of the two-seater fighters – there was no commercial transport headed that way in time. I’ll let you fly-” That definitely perked up Anakin’s expression. “-and we’ll get to be alone. So we don’t have to be so careful. Whereas, as long as we’re in the Tem”
”

“I know, I know.” Anakin rolled his eyes at what he considered Obi-Wan’s usual harping.

But his Master had just had another thought. “You didn’t…tell anyone today, did you?”

“No,” Anakin said dismissively, then at Obi-Wan’s look added, “I swear. I stayed here in my room all afternoon. Sulking.” And he smiled self-deprecatingly, looking up at his Master through long eyelashes.

“Good,” Obi-Wan responded, satisfied. “We should act normally. So you need to sulk-” There was just enough teasing in his Master’s voice to keep Anakin from attempting a retort. “-and I need to be a grumpy old stick-in-the-mud-” Anakin’s smile grew even wider at that. “-so that no one asks what’s gotten into us lately.”

“Okay, Master,” Anakin replied, enjoying himself. “I think I can work up a good public sulk in the morning. Perhaps a temper tantrum as well.”

“Don’t overdo it, Anakin.” Obi-Wan, finally feeling up to moving, leaned over to kiss Anakin’s nose. “And now, I really do need to go.” And standing, he adjusted his tunics before taking one last, long look at his Padawan, still sprawled on the too-small bed. “Good night, Anakin.”

“Good night, Obi-Wan.”

And with a swish of the door, he was gone.

End Part 3