Clutching My Cure

Disclaimer: I neither own nor make a profit from these characters. waaa!!


Chapter Thirty


The melodic strains of the Alderaanian Concerto were, for once, unable to penetrate the smothering cloud of despondency that seemed to shadow him these days. Long fingers set the crystal goblet aside as he got to his feet and left the room in search of something that would distract his thoughts from his wayward lover. He was weary of every waking and sleeping moment being filled with torturous thoughts of just how Obi-Wan was spending his time since he’d fled Telos. And even more weary of having his inner voice berate him for being a stubborn old fool.

As he made his way down the ships silent hallway, fingers trailing along the wall, Xanatos had to admit that he had indeed been a fool. It would have cost him so little to say those two simple words and gained him so much. Instead, he’d allowed foolish pride keep his tongue stilled as he’d watched the man he loved above all else fly away. Now he was on a ship bound for the same destination, essentially running after Obi-Wan like a love sick swain.

Halting in the cross-section of the ship, a baffled frown crossed pale features as he sensed a familiar Force presence emanating from the cockpit. Wondering what his passenger could be doing, he traveled the rest of the distance and halted in the doorway with a raised eyebrow. There was no sign of the vessels crew, his Jedi friend seated comfortably before the controls, fingers flying over the readouts with nearly blinding speed and precision. Only a slight cocking of the dark head let him know his presence had been sensed and noted.

“What are you doing and where is my crew?”

A husky chuckle greeted his petulant query although Eitan made no attempt to face him. “I gave them the night off so that I could have the pleasure of flying this beauty.”

Taking a seat in the co-pilot’s chair, Xanatos shot him a baffled side-ways glance. “You fly a score of ships on a daily basis. What’s one more?”

Dark eyes widened as if he’d muttered a sacrilegious curse against the Jedi. “Only you could own a ship this amazing and have no appreciation for it. She’s the most responsive and giving ship I’ve flown in ages. I barely have to stroke the controls and she does exactly what I ask of her.”

Shifting in his seat in hopes of alleviating a sudden erection, Xanatos cursed softly beneath his breath. “And only you could talk about a hunk of metal as if you were describing a lover.”

“Ah, but a ship is a much more devoted mistress than any flesh and blood one could ever be.” Eitan shifted enough so that their eyes met. “You should know that better than anyone.”

Sapphire eyes narrowed into chips of ice at his reminder. “Careful old friend. I would hate to have things between us end on a sour note. Or worse, with one of us being dead.”

The threat rolled off Eitan with ease, a teasing light entering his dark gaze. “My aren’t you a ferocious defender of Kenobi all of a sudden. Wasn’t it only yesterday you were threatening to string him up by his balls and let a pack of wild krayt dragons have at him?”

“Only if I decide he deserves it,” Xanatos sniffed, ignoring the grin that split his friend’s darkly handsome features at the admission.

“So tell me a little about him. He’s quite a bit younger than us, isn’t he?”

A careless shrug accompanied the fallen Jedi’s reply. “Fifteen years. His Jedi upbringing and the difficult situations he faced while still a child have matured him. Although, in many ways he’s still very childlike in his reactions and thinking when it comes to personal matters.”

Eitan switched the autopilot on and sat back to study his friend’s expressions. “Describe him to me. What is it that makes him so special when others have failed to capture your attention except fleetingly?”

A smile curled the edges of full lips as Xanatos stared unseeingly out at space. “You know the blinding flash of stars as you exit hyperspace? It’s so bright you’re forced to close your eyes briefly as it steals your breath and then you get that warm tingling feeling in the pit of your stomach? That’s what looking at Obi-Wan does to you. He’s a luminous being, almost blinding you with his beauty, gracefulness and charm.”

“Wow,” was the only word Eitan could think of as he saw something never before seen glow in his friend’s eyes. In all the years he’d known the other man, he’d never known Xanatos to allow another being to touch him as deeply as Kenobi seemed to have done. It was as if the younger man had actually made a miraculous change in the fallen Jedi and how he viewed life and love. Maybe even himself.

“I’m surprised to hear you describe him that way. It’s not how I would have imagined a Darksider to be. It almost sounds as if you’re describing him before he left the Order,” he remarked.

“That’s because you Jedi are too narrow minded to understand the complexities of the Force and it’s light and dark side.” Xanatos sent his friend a withering glance filled with disgust. “Just because one practices some aspects of the Dark Arts, doesn’t mean they’re doomed to be mindless Sith. Both Obi-Wan and I have discovered from first hand experience that it is possible to maintain a peaceful balance between your darker and lighter natures.”

Uncomfortable getting into a debate with the other man about the Force and its true nature, Eitan quickly shifted the subject. “So where do Jinn and his apprentice fit into this picture?”

A shutter fell over Xanatos’ expression, lines of tension creasing his forehead. “Obi-Wan has some unresolved issues from childhood that he needs to work out when it comes to Qui-Gon. He’s had no problem what-so-ever putting his past with young Chuin behind and Chun is head over heels in love with him. No doubt the two of them are enjoying the pleasure of one another’s company as we speak.”

Eitan did nothing to conceal his surprise. “And yet you still love him and want him back. What about your past relationship with Jinn? Where does that stand?”

“Where it belongs, in the past. What I felt for Jinn in no way compares to the emotions I have for Obi-Wan. Even if I had remained a Jedi, I now know that our physical relationship would have ended eventually. It had nothing of substance to sustain it for the long run.”

“Can you take him back, knowing he’s been with young Chun? I would think it would be hard not to feel jealousy and resentment toward him after this.”

He was gifted with a humorless smile. “Oh I’m jealous. Just thinking about the two of them together is enough to make me see red. However, I also understand his reasons for reaching out to Bruck right now. He’s scared and desperate for some form of affection and acceptance, no matter if its genuine on both their parts, or not. It’s easier to take it from someone who just gives it without question, rather than have to fight for it.”

“And so you plan to do what once we reach Coruscant?”

Excitement and steely resolve lit up blue eyes as Xanatos leaned back in the chair. “I plan to fight tooth and nail for his love and devotion and I’m not above fighting dirty.”

Eitan whistled and shook his head as he took back the controls of the ship. “I almost feel sorry for the kid. I know what you’re like when you set your sights on something you want badly.”

Xanatos had the satisfied air of someone secure in their abilities. “Obi-Wan Kenobi has no idea what’s about to hit him. And you my dear old friend are going to help me achieve success.”

“Oh no! You are not dragging me into another one of your twisted schemes,” Eitan protested, head shaking vigorously in refusal.

It was best that his attention was focused on the task of piloting rather than his friend’s expression. If it had been, he would have been tempted to force the other man out the nearest airlock in order to avoid what would certainly turn out to be chaos and disaster.

Xanatos specialties.