Not for you (FIN)

>Author's note 1: Sex without condoms is *not* safe, cats and kittens; always remember that. The reason why it's happening in this chapter? Simply because I have forgotten to bring those freaking things in when I wrote it, and noticed this just when I was already finished writing.

By then I couldn't find a reasonable way to slip them in there somewhere (spontaneous sex is so *not* spontaneous with those things, I guess we can agree on that?). So I came up with a different solution, written at the end of this chapter. Sorry!

Author's note 2: The, uhm, technique described in this chapter *makes* men beg. Takes more or less long on some of them... but it does (they stand that torture two hours - max!). It's pure evil, as an ex of mine once liked to refer to it (a.k.a. the "Can I get more Evil?" question).
It's also a good idea to throw in an idea what they should beg for (a.k.a. the 'Can I please gift you with this diamond ring / those tires / bumpers / shock absorbers' question). Useful to know in some situations...




If you've lost your mind, Dom, that doesn't mean that I'm up for losing it, too, I thought. This has to stop - and right now, before you notice that I'm thinking too long. My brain was storming worse than Tornado Alley and this was definitely not the right situation to do some thinking. Or rather - it was not the right situation to let anyone know that I did.

"No talking, no thinking."

With those words I grabbed his neck, pulled him close and started to kiss him. He tried to pull back for a short moment, but then gave in to the kiss, his hands gliding down my back chasing away the cyclone that raged through my mind.

I was so damn willing to have him, right here and now, but my brain didn't stop ringing the alarm bell. Hands on my breasts... mouth, teeth on my nipples... and fuck, I was wet; no more so much from the bathtub but by those two strong hands that were moving and circling and squeezing various parts of my body.

I watched his body moving in the blue light before me... so beautiful, and he had said that damn word, oh gods, and why couldn't I stop thinking about it? I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to give in to his ministrations.

Which, of course, didn't work at all. That wouldn't have been that bad - hell, I had with worse looking men than this blue-painted god - and sex under worse conditions than a thunderstorm in my brain but the bad thing was that he noticed it.

Mouth on my ear....

"Think you could stop sitting there as if you had swallowed a goddamn stick?"

Shit. But point for you, Dom, I thought - many other specimen of the male species wouldn't have noticed that in your state of arousal.... And thanks for giving me a good keyword to escape from this.

"I didn't swallow a stick, but I could try?" I grinned as humorous as possible.

He smiled, his face came closer, and then.... the smile vanished and his eyes narrowed.

"You're not gonna swallow anything unless you're telling me what's up."

I considered for a moment, pouting. "That's a pity, Dom, because this way you're not getting rid of this..." I grabbed his ass and pulled him closer until his hips collided with mine; his hard length being squeezed between our bellies. "Anytime soon. Would be such a waste."

"You want... this rather than talking?" He said and pressed my body against the window, in a way that I was almost scared it would shatter. I could see anger building up in his face and instantly knew that this here was about to become one very ugly fight - none that would be carried out with words or fists, though.

"Right now that would be just perfect. And by the way, I didn't start with the 'no thinking, no talking' bullshit."

"Fine. Someone has to fuck your damn ever-working brain out one day anyway." He hissed, and before I could even notice what was happening, his hard length was being pushed into me in one firm stroke. The scream that I wanted to let out in reply ended up as a muffled cry in his mouth which was suddenly on mine; the try to push him away was effortless.

He held still for a moment after sliding into me, just plundering my mouth and whatever comment was about to come from it; and I can't say that this short pause was unwelcome. My insides were burning, but not just with pain. Anger, desire, lust and willpower also had their share in that fire.

Damn, that guy had power; but I wouldn't have been myself if I would have let him know in any way that he made me feel even just the tiniest bit uncomfortable; especially right now when the confusion in my brain was just about to be replaced with a thorough anger. I pulled away from his kiss and stared at him.

"Is that all you can do? Because frankly, that wasn't even remotely close to fucking my brain out."

His eyes narrowed even more, the face more serious than ever and I swear, if those wrinkles on his forehead would have gotten any deeper they would probably have cracked his skull.

"What, you're backing out?" I kept mocking, not really certain if I should given the way he looked at me. If anyone had ever looked at me like that on a street, I would have run screaming. However, here... with him... given the situation at hand... I didn't even flinch, just to make my point of which I wasn't even sure what it was. Stubborn, I thought, you're just plainly-

With one fluid motion he picked me up, still buried deep inside me, and carried me over to the bed. I was laid down, he knelt on the floor before the bed and started to move inside of me, his one hand pressing my torso down, the other holding on to the bed.

It took me a minute to realize that we didn't "make love" but that I, in fact, was being fucked. Nothing more, nothing less. He didn't even look at me but stared beside me on the bed. No word, no touch except of that hand holding me down, just him sliding in- and out of me. It wasn't slamming, it was sliding. Not even his breathing became faster as I was used to. The whole situation was now beyond awkward and I was beyond uncomfortable, but still not willing to give in. Instead I crossed my arms before my breasts and gave him an angry stare.

Another minute passed; I knew that he had noticed the way I was lying there, but there was neither a change in his pace nor in anything else.

Fine, I thought.

"If you don't stop treating me like a goddamn inflatable doll I swear I'll scream until the police knocks down this door." I said with the quietest and calmest voice that I could possibly muster, and he stopped all movements immediately to still stare at the bed beside me.

"What, isn't that what you wanted?" He started to laugh, a bit desperate. "You want to suck my dick so that I don't notice your brain is far, far away from this place?" He finally looked at me. "Then fine, this here is what you will get from me in return: My brain being far, far away too while my body takes what it needs. Did that often enough before."

"I know your body can do that nicer." I tried.

"No, my heart and brain can do that nicer, but you didn't want them in this." He replied, still staring at me.

"Your brain is fucking stubborn." I said, still avoiding the heart subject.

"Yours is more."

"Is not."

"It is." His hand was sliding down between my legs, his thumb circling around my clit.

"Hmmm. Is not." I sighed.

"Is."

I squeezed his length with my vaginal muscles. "Is not."

"Is." He breathed and started to move.

"Is not." I said and pinched one of his nipples with my fingers.

"Ow. Is." He started to move faster, and this time, his breathing became faster, too.

"Not." I took advantage of the fact that his body was now at an angle to mine, him leaning over me to the bed, lifted my torso and bit down on his ear.

The moving turned into a slamming. Faster, harder. "Yes."

"No." I said and licked his earlobe.

"Ahhh... yesss." He used his hand to push me back to the bed, then both hands to hold on to my hips while he was slamming into me.

"Uhm - no." I said, lifted one of my legs on the bed and pushed away from him.

"Ah, you want to play catch me." He grinned and followed me crawling over the bed.

"No, I'll play Gotcha." I replied and jumped at him as soon as he had crossed about half the distance, pinning him down below me by sitting on his stomach and holding his arms next to his head; a move I wouldn't have been able to perform if he had really been against it.

He just raised his eyebrow. "What do you think you're doing, little girl? Think you could hold me down?" A deep, growling laughter came from his chest; he didn't try to move yet.

"No, my dear." I said as sweet as I could. "If you give me a few minutes you'll beg me, that's what I think."

The laughter became louder, he crossed his arms behind his head. "Not going to happen." He said.

I pouted a little in reply, then placed each of my legs on either side of him with my feet on his thighs and slid down his belly. A short side movement of my hips, and I made him penetrate me again - but just for an inch or two. I put most of my weight on my feet, allowing me to control that position against his buckling hips.

I started to ride him in slow, circling movements, never allowing him to get into me further than those few, first inches. When I noticed that his hips became more eager, I just got up and sat on his belly again, his hard length leaning against my back, and grinned at him.

"Still don't feel like begging." He said, but I could see some sweat on his brow.

"Hm, then I'll have to work on that." I shrugged and sat down between his knees, taking his shaft into both hands, stroking up and down.

"That, too, won't make me do it. I'll give you five more minutes, then we'll do it my way."

"Had your way the last two times. Now it's my way, dear." I said and licked along the length, noticing that he really had to suppress a gasp. You like that, I thought. That's good, really good, because that's something I'm not bad at.

Long, slow teasing licks with my tongue, carefully avoiding the tip, and about a minute later I felt a hand on my shoulder, trying to - well, I don't know what exactly he tried, but it didn't work.

I looked up. "Ah, come on, big boy. You're not about to give in, right?"

"Me? Never." He hissed, the face red; the hand was removed from my shoulder and placed behind his head again.

"See, that's how I like you; stubborn as ever. Well, I still have some time, right?"

I rushed up again, took him inside of me with the flick of my hand. Just a bit, Dom, just a bit, I thought.

I stretched while circling my hips over him, balancing on my feet. Up - down - around. And again. Annndddd... down. I had to breathe out when I made him rush inside of me completely.

"Gods!" I heard him whisper, his hands fisting into the pillow.

I snorted a bit, got up again, just the first few centimeters... in, out, a bit faster, a bit angled... I watched a trail of sweat running down his cheek; the pillow was probably just about to be torn apart.

I couldn't help but grin and moved back down between his knees.

"What the hell are you doing there?" He sounded angry, disappointed.

"Making you beg." I said and took him into my mouth as far as I could; lips firmly pressed around the length, then held perfectly still for a second before my tongue - inside my mouth - started sliding up and down the shaft.

Was that some kind of wailing I heard somewhere up there? I didn't care.

Licking, sucking, pressing with mouth, lips and teeth, tasting my own juices. I felt the urge to just let go of my fucking self control, but I suppressed it. Not yet, I thought; not yet. This is far too entertaining.

"Stop that." He said, not really serious.

"You're begging?"

"No."

"Then I won't stop." I said.

Up again, sitting down, him inside of me. I really get practice in doing this, I thought. His breathing was fast, but not yet as fast as I wanted it to.

You just keep resisting, I thought, this will become worse for you. And don't you dare looking away from me...

I rode him a bit deeper, a bit faster than before; touching my breasts with my hands, letting them slide over my body. Damn self control... for a moment I was about to forget myself; just enjoying the feel of him inside and under me.

Then I felt his hands on my legs, trying to bring me further down on him. Okay, no more eyes closing for me, I thought.

I smiled down at him, he stared up at me, mouth half open to breathe. "Give up?"

"No, but..."

"No time for 'but', my dear." I said and got up and down between his knees again, earning me a loud groan from him. One hand on his balls, massaging. The other stroking the sensitive area of skin above the trail of hair leading to his shaft, which I sucked into my mouth, keeping a constant vacuum on it while moving my lips up and down. Circling the head with my tongue, tasting his and my juices this time. Sucking harder, I felt his dick grow a bit bigger. Ah, the short moment when it's either time to stop everything immediately or be ready to swallow, and I wasn't up for the latter - yet.

Hands away from his body, out of my mouth with him again...

...a fist slamming down on the mattress beside me in frustration.

I looked up to his face, cocking an eyebrow. "Be careful, you could hurt someone." I chuckled.

"Be careful, you might drive someone insane." He growled.

"I actually enjoy driving people insane a lot, didn't you know?" I grinned and crawled up his body, letting him feel my sweat-covered skin sliding over his.

Feet back on his thighs, carefully, slowly pushing him inside of me by simply slipping a bit downwards again; not forgetting to lick his throat on my way down, feeling something like purring inside his throat, a sound that could rather be felt than heard.

I moved slow, deep, circling, trying not to get lost while doing it, but that was difficult. Damn, that man was feeling so good and looking so beautiful in that blue light... needed more of that.

I bent down to lick his chest, nibbling on his nipples. Hmmm.... too good. His hands sliding down my hips... which were responding to the touch by taking up a faster rhythm over his body.

Would so love to give in to that, but I'm forgetting what I'm doing here, I thought. Have to move slower...

...didn't work, his hands were practically clamping my hips and forced them to move.

"You're trying to escape the begging, my dear." I said.

"Just stop that shit-" he moaned.

"As soon as you beg." I said, stretched to kiss his lips and while doing that, pulling the rest of my body upwards like a caterpillar, making him slip out of me again.

"Please..." he whispered into my ear.

"Was that begging?" I said just to hear his teeth being gritted in reply, making me chuckle.

"I take it that's a no?"

Down again, my hands on his hips, and this time I made a serious attempt on a good blowjob: Pressure, slight scraping of teeth, tongue licking, vacuum, up and down.

Just to find him burying his fingers deep into my hair short minutes later, trying to get hold of my head.

I didn't mind that, from the way it felt, he probably tore some strands of my hair out when I was pulling away from this grip.

The second I was kneeling between his knees and stared at him, he had already gotten up into an upright position and stared back at me in return.

"What now, old man?" I teased. "Still no-"

"Please." He whispered.

"Begging?"

"Please." He said and laid back down. "Hold me down, do what you want, do it your way, but please."

Begging?!" I asked again, already moving up his body.

He breathed in deeply, held his breath for some seconds while staring at me. "Begging." He breathed out.

"That's surprising, I didn't think you would." I whispered, laid down on him and kissed him. His hands were sliding up my body, coming to a firm hold on the back of my neck.

He was sliding inside of me again, this time not by me initiating it but by the movement of his own hips; taking a few deep, firm strokes into me.

The problem was... by that point of time I was enjoying that control thing far too much. I sucked his bottom lip in and bit down a bit, then let it go. "My way, remember?" I said.

"Whatever." He groaned back.

I leaned back, no movement but this, and looked down at him. "Too beautiful." I whispered at the sight of his sweat covered, blue glistening body. Then I started to move.

In, out, around, circling my hips over him; the pace getting faster; his hands on my hips, but not forcing, but guiding me. I watched him, his eyes were closed, the breath was coming in short gasps, small moans were escaping his lips. I felt the need for more of this rise inside of me, but I knew that he wouldn't last much longer. What the hell, I thought, watching him is fun enough; I'll get my share of the deal next time.

Faster; his hands roaming over my body in almost desperate ways. I felt him become bigger inside of me, bent down to kiss him. A cry that could have been my name was muffled in my mouth when he came, I felt goosebumps on my skin. Too good, I thought. I liked controlling this, feeling his orgasm without being distracted by my own, the feel of his trembling body under mine. Should do that more often...

He lay below me, still trembling a bit while I still kissed him, softer, less hard than just a moment before, moving away from his lips, down his cheek, into the crook of his neck where I, too, lay still for a moment. His hands playing with my hair, his breathing below me. This, I thought, is how I will want to remember you, Dom, when I'll once be back in Germany and this will all just seem like a wild dream. It's unsurpassed.

"You didn't..." He breathed.

"...come? No, but I didn't need to." I chuckled into his neck. "Was much fun for me this way."

"Ah?" He wondered.

"Sure. You think only you boys find it erotic if a woman comes at your ministrations without you having orgasms?" I laughed.

"Never thought about that. A propos never thought about that... haven't we, like, forgotten something while doing this?"

"Hm?"

"Well, this is not your trailer, no drawer full of condoms..."

"Oh." I said and was really surprised. That had never happened to me before. "Uhmmm..."

"Yes, uhmmm." He chuckled.

"You sick?"

"Don't think so. Had my last test last year, and since then... nada."

"Sure." I said with a sarcastic tone.

"Believe it or not. What about you?"

"Had the test before I came to the US. Before that... over six months... nada." I imitated him.

"Sure." The same kind of sarcastic tone came back to me. "What about... like... children?"

I laughed. "Never noticed the nice white pills in my trailer's bathroom? Never think that someone like me wouldn't double check for things she really doesn't want."

"Aha. And just for the records, children are not 'things'" He chuckled.

"Maybe." I said and rolled off him. "Sleep? You said we could need some."

"Sleep." He said, spooning me from behind, his arm possessively draped over me, holding one of my hands in his.

I took some minutes of staring against the bedroom wall when I remembered what this whole thing had been about. He had said the l-word. Damn, I thought.

"You still awake?" I whispered. No answer. Good... because I don't really want you to hear this, but I need to say it nevertheless...

"I do, but I'd never tell you so you could never hurt me." I whispered and closed my eyes to sleep, just to almost freeze when I felt his thumb tracing over my hand. Nothing more, just this small movement. He's probably asleep, I thought and dozed off myself.

If I hadn't, I would have probably heard the quiet "I know" from somewhere behind me, but I didn't.