More Than Darkness
31
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This is a crossover smutty story featuring the character of
Tess/Salida ie Tess' Voice in Neon Dasies' OUATIM fics on ff.net, More Than
Eyes Alone Can See, and More Than Life,
and Sands/Jeffrey from Merrie's OUATIM fic on ff.net, Darkness Rising. This story
will make some sense, probably, if you read it without having read either of
our stories, but it'll make a hell of a lot more if you just read them. They're
all worth reading, we promise. Anyway, on with the show.
Rated for what has happened, and what might happen.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
noticing that he was standing on the stairs.
down on the steps. “What the fuck?”
Jeffrey apparently had just left
mid-action. He had never quite done such
a thing before and the feeling unnerved him.
he was doing, it wasn’t talking. “Spitfire?”
he called out, hoping that she was somewhere close, not noticing that she was
standing right behind him.
“Right here,” she
said softly, moving to sit next to him.
She didn’t look at him quite yet, knowing he was going to be furious
when he heard what had caused Salida’s little rampage.
“What the fuck just
happened? Where’s sunrise?
zombie?” he asked rapidly, turning to look at her.
“Well . . . Salida
is upstairs . . . umm, asleep, and Jeffrey . . . he’s in shock I think.”
“In shock. . .”
Sands repeated slowly. “Why?
and Jeffrey fucking pushing me to the curb and taking over.
“Well . . . Salida
was reacting badly to what I understand was unexpected news.”
surprised that this was so hard to say.
“Just fucking say
it, spitf
what happened in there. Stop being so
fucking coy and just fucking tell me! What
unexpected news?!”
“She’s pregnant.”
herself for his reaction.
“She’s fucking
what?!”
She fought not to
cringe. “Pregnant.”
“Are you fucking
shitting me? She’s fucking pregnant?
running a hand across hice. ce.
“I . . . I don’t
understand why everyone is so surprised,” Aida admitted quietly.
gesture with her hand.
Sands let out a
somewhat desperate laugh to that. “You
want to know why everyone’s so fucking surprised?
sunrise can’t . . . or couldn’t . . . have children.
Sands muttered, still shocked. “She wasn’t
supposed to be able to get pregnant.
“If she went to the
doctor, and they took blood, and the doctor knew what Salida’s major complaints
are . . .” she shrugged. “They can tell
with a blood test. And I bought a home
test for her on Friday. I had my own
suspicions.”
“You what?
fuck didn’t you tell me?”
“And what good
would that have done?” she asked, reaching over to touch his arm.
Sands just barely
kept himself from flinching away from her.
“Well . . . she
seemed to be wavering between not believing she was pregnant and trying to get rid of it here and now.
“Oh fuck.
Sands asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.
otherwise we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“She’s asleep on
the bedroom floor, which is how I know Jeffrey was in shock.”
“He just fucking
left her there?” Sands asked with wide eyes.
“Yeah.
his face. Salida was hysterical, but
Jeffrey . . . he looked like he was quietly hysterical.”
“Can someone
fucking be quietly hysterical?” Sands asked absently.
Aida was simply
silent.
“Fuck, she can’t
keep this kid,” he muttered, more to himself than Aida.
“But she
Jeffrey stopped her, she fought li mad mad woman.
“No, I imagine not.
But that’s not what I meant, spitfire.
chances of their kid being every bit as fucked up as the rest of us are?
he shook his head. “But Jeffrey . . . Jeffrey
wants it. He would let her get rid of it
if he didn’t. Jeffrey fucking talk to
me. Why do you want this kid?
over this.”
Jeffrey didn’t say
a word.
. “Sands . . . if Jeffrey got Salida
pregnant . . . ?”
“What do you mean,
“Well . . . there’s
two men, but only one body.”
“Fuck.
slowly.
Aida wished it hadn’t
occurred to her. The thought almost made
her sick to her stomach. It didn’t
matter that Jeffrey had been in control when Salida had gotten pregnant.
Sands, her child and Salida’s would be siblings.
Sands didn’t know
what to say or where to start. “Salida’s
child . . . will be my child too . . . technically . . .” he repeated to
himself slowly. Even hearing it out didn’tem tem to help him understand it any. The
realization raged within his mind. He
had never slept with Salida. He might
have considered it in those first days, but he had never done it.
that he wasn’t there, in charge. His
body had done it. And therefore her
child was his. Just as if Aida had any
children by him, they would be Jeffrey’s.
muttered, his fractured mind disregarding the fact that he was already sitting
down.
“Well, that solves
that,” Aida murmured, slowly getting to her feet.
“Where are you
going?” he asked in a somewhat dazed voice.
“Out.”
want to have kids with me, but now you’re getting them anyway via a surrogate
mother? Who was not impregnated through artificial insemination, but through your
alter ego?
“And what's that
supposed to fucking mean? Out where?”
Sands asked with a deep frown, looking up at her.
“Just . . .
out. A walk around the block.
“You won't go far.
. .” Sands repeated. “Fine.
stop you. I’ll be here with Jeffrey and
sunrise. One, big, fucked up and twisted
family, right?”
Aida spun around at
the tone in his voice. “Don’t get mad at
me. Don’t you even dare.
I have the right to be unsettled too?”
Her eyes were narrowed, and her hands were pd fid firmly on her
hips. A stray ray of sun caught on her
ring and made it sparkle.
“I’m not fucking
mad at you,” Sands muttered wearily. Enjoy your walk.
“No, now you’re
making me feel guilty.” She didn’t even
bother to find a chair, she simply sat in the middle of the floor.
“I’m not trying to
make you feel guilty,” he muttered, slightly confused.
“I know, but that
doesn’t mean that I’m not. Guilt is
funny that way for people with a conscience,” she muttered.
“It’s not my fault
I don’t have a conscience,” he muttered in return.
“But that’s
“Then what do you
want, Aida? Tell me.
and walking the rest of the way down the stairs to where Aida sat.
her, but he was still waiting for an answer.
else that had happened in the last fucked up hour.
“I don’t know. . .
“What do you mean
by that?” The minute the words were out
of his mouth he answered his own question.
“I
fill could be theoretically filled by someone else if you all weren’t so
dysfunctional.”
“I can’t fucking do
anything about that, Aida,” he said, the rate of his pacing increasing.
people at the same time and yet aren’t. To
be sleeping with two women and yet I’m not.
seriously. “Can yospanspan
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I’m asking, Aida.
“I don’t know,” she
said honestly. “What I do know is, I’m
married, and I refuse to be like my parents and walk out on my spouse.”
“Don’t . . . don’t
talk about that. Please.
sliding down to the floor with his back pressed against the wall.
begin.”
“Well . . . start
with me,” she murmured, moving over to lean against his side.
“What do you mean?”
he muttered, more grateful for the . . . contact – the sane center his world
attempted to revolve around – right now than he could express.
“Remind me again
why I’m important?”spanspan>Her lips brushed
against his neck, not quite a kiss, but more than a caress.
“You keep me as
sane as I’m ever going to get,” he said seriously.
“Well, that’s nice
to know.” Her breath rushed over his
skin as she spoke. “Is that all?”
Sands let out a
mirthless chuckle at that. “That’s
breath. “You keep me here.”
that. It was more than likely that they’d
all be true.
She pulled away,
pretending to be hurt. “Sure, other
women get compared to goddesses, and I get compared to a rusty,
barnacle-encrusted piece of metal.”
“You’re not a
goddess, you’re a nymph. I already told
you that,” he said absently. “Where are
you going?”
“I was a nymph when
I had a head full of hair,” she pointed out.
“Now I’m the ball and chain.” She
crossed her arms and turned her back, but didn't move away the slightest.
“A what?
you around,” he said, reaching out a hand to grasp her shoulder and turn her
back to face him. A small smile was on
his face when he looked at her. It was
no doubt forced, but it was there. “I do
love you, Aida.”
Aida pursed her
lips. “Well, you’re not much of a
sweet-talker, but I suppose I could settle for being someone’s reason to live.”
again.
tho
who knows how to cook.”
“Fine.
climes and starry skies./And all that's best of dark and bright/meet in her
aspect and in her eyes;/thus mellow’d to that tender light,/which Heaven to
gaudy day denies.’ I can do poetry if
that’s what you really want. I’ve never
much cared for it,” he said slowly, still staring across the room somewhat
blankly. He snickered then.
himself.
“That’s fine with
me if I get the benefit of it. Jeffrey
doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to spout poetry.”
“He’s not.
That must be how he knows.”
underwater. Everything around him seemed
somehow . . . muted. He supposed that
was shock.
“Are you okay?”
Aida asked, a bit concerned for him. “Because
if you’re not, I’m content to sit and listen to you spout off more poetry.”
grinned. Her arms wrapped around his
waist, holding him tightly. She didn’t
plan on going anywhere as long as she was needed.
“No, I don’t think
I am. . .” he murmured. “But there’s
nothing you can do. . . What kind of
poetry?” he asked, still not looking at her, althoue ape appreciated her touch.
At least, he thought he did.
“Whatever you feel
like reciting.” She didn’t like the way
he was just sitting here. “But let’s
move to the couch – its a bit more comfortable.”
get him to stand.
“‘One two!
snicker-snak! He left it dead and with
its head he went galumphing back,’” he muttered.
the side/Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,/In that sepulcher
there by the sea. In her tomb by the sea.’” He wandered into the living room
behind her as he spoke, sitting when she wanted him to stand.
knew enough to know those were fragments of different poems.
to the couch, but she supposed the armchair would have to do.
climbing onto his lap and wrapping her arms around him again.
chilled?
“Anabell Lee.
Poe,” he muttered. “Always liked that
one.”
“Hmm . . . I think
I have one.” It wasn’t much – something
she’d used to recite to her youngest sister to make her go to sleep, but it was
something. “Have you ever heard of the
Sugar-Plum Tree?/‘Tis a marvelgreagreat renown!/It blooms on the shore of the
Lollipop sea/In the garden of Shut-Eye Town./Then fruit that it bears is so
wondrously sweet/(As those who have tasted it say)/That good little children
have only to eat/Of that fruit to be happy next day.”
was responding before she continued.
“‘The trees are
coming into leaf/like somethingost ost being said;/the recent buds relax and
spread/the greenness is a kind of grief,’” he muttered in response.
“Oh my love,” she
murmured, bending her head to press her lips to his temple.
something. Take some time to settle your
mind.”
tle tle my mind.
said than done. My mind’s . . . our mind
is always unsettled. Fucking schizo,
remember?” he muttered. “But a nap might
be good.” He closed his eyes.
again.
“Get off of me.
Aida and not moving.
“But you
room to sit on the couch. The cats who
had been absent for some time appeared out of nowhere and cuddled up with her,
mewling away. “Someone hungry?” she
murmured, looking at them.
“Oh God, I can’t
fucking deal with this,” Jeffrey muttered, still not moving.
he wanted to do was to go back to where he had been until the world made sense
again.
“Well you’re going
to have to,” she pointed out practically.
“Unless you’re willing to let Salida have the abortion she wants, this
is now a fact of life. Not to mention
that she’s still asleep on the floor of your bedroom.”
Jeffrey frowned,
hearing a voice cut through the whirlwind.
did you say? Where’s vixen?” he
murmured, turning to look towards the sound of the voice slowly.
“Salida.
collapsed. Well, she is unless she’s
gotten it into her head to try something.”
Aida thought that perhaps if Jeffrey got up and moving, it’d help him
get over his state of shock.
“Try something?” he
repeated in an uncharacteristically small voice, his eyes wide.
but he couldn’t figure out what it was. The
only thing that was really getting through was the talk of vixen, his wife, the
mother. . . Don’t. Just don’t think about
it. Put it away.
he had come from. He didn’t want to
deal. Not now.
“Try to get rid of
the baby. Your baby.” The words were
hard to say, but they had to come out.
“My baby. . .
murmured, totally missing what Aida was telling him.
that she was talking to him, let alone that she was trying to get him to do
something. He felt himself slipping even
further, as his face stilled and his eyes began to glaze over.
Aida narrowed her
eyes. She didn’t care if he wanted to
succumb to the disbelief that most new fathers felt, but doing so at the
expense of the new mother was unacceptable.
Standing, she swiftly crossed over to him and slapped him sharply,
producing more sound than pain.
Jeffrey’s world
shifted. “You slapped me,” he murmured,
blinking up at her, coming out of his daze abruptly.
legitimate question. “Wait, fuck, where’s
vixen? Kitty, where is she?” he asked
frantically, rising from his seat quickly and swaying a little as a wave of
lightheadedness passed through him, but keeping his feet.
Aida reached out to
steady him. “That’s what I’ve been
trying to tell you,” she said slowly, making sure he heard each word.
floor.” Where you left her.
“Ah fuck,” he
muttered, turning away from her and making his way as fast as he could to and
up the stairs. He was still feeling
dizzy, and cold, and a little nauseous and a whole other multitude of fucking
things, but he made it up the stairs and into their bedroom without incident.
her still lying on the floor, curled up around herself.
were open.
There was no
answer. Unbeknownst to him, Salida and
Tess were arguing furiously. Tess was in
no way eager to tell Jeffrey that his wife had just renounced any claims to
their child, and was trying to get Salida to do it.
knew how he’d react and thought he might talk some sense into her.
“Don’t do this to
me, vixen. Not now.
her side and pulling her into his lap, holding her close.
love.” The father of your child.
Salida heard the
pain in his voice, and whether she wanted to or not, she had to respond to
it. “Love you,” she whispered.
“What?
frantically, pulling her up so that she was sitting in his lap.
around her and still see her face.
“The baby,” she
whispered, not daring to look at him. “Tessa’s
fault.”
“You fucking lost
me. How is our baby Tessa’s fault? I
’t r’t recall fucking her, vixen,” he murmured.
“She never . . .
never . . .”
“Yes, I’m fucking
aware she never fucked me, vixen,” he said slowly.
about, is it?” he asked softly.
she never . . .” Just thinking about it
made Salida agitated. “You little bitch,”
she whispered. “This is all your fault.”
“She never made it
so you weren’t able to have children. Is
that it?” he asked.
Salida nodded,
still muttering threats and curses under her breath.
“And you would have
done things differently, had you known? You
would have taken precautions. . .?” he muttered the question.
She answered his
question in a roundabout sort of way. “What
kind of parent damns their child to the kind of life we lead?”
“I do, vixen.
Tess’ family, to Sands’ and mine, that we’re fucking better than them.
mistakes. Maybe . . . in doing that . .
. it’ll be easier to live with what happened to us.
“Your reasons.
mine.”
“No, it’s not.
Our
child. No one else’s.
“No.
children someday, and damn the consequences.
Well she can deal with them now.”
“Why can’t you damn
the consequences too, vixen? Does it
mean fucking nothing to you that I’m here to help you?
matter what? What if . . . what if
you? A part of us? Damn the
consequences, vixen. Please.
they will you? I don’t . . . I don’t
understand. How can you not even care
about this?”
He pushed too
far. In a burst of action, she sprang
away from him. “This wasn’t my choice!” she screamed at him.
that?!”
“You’re not going
to fucking kill it! One way or another,
I won’t let you!” he yelled, but then the force seemed to slip out of his words
and he slumped back, looking resigned. “Don’t
make me do this, vixen. Please.
let you do that. I won’t.
you’ve even given it a chance. If you
don’t want to live with killing it, then don’t!
you mean to or not. Why are you giving
up? You’re a fucking fighter.
some way? Is that why you’re so fucking
reluctant to give it a chance? You won’t,
vixen. You won’t,” he leaned against the
bed, trying to prephimshimself for her next onslaught; whatever she threw at
him. He wasn’t going to let her settle
on this. He was going to convince her to
keep the baby, to care for it herself. He
sure as fuck didn’t know how, but he wouldn’t stop trying.
“You don’t
understand,” she whispered, deflating in front of his eyes.
Or I kill them just so I don’t have to bother with them any more.
touch the kittens. I don’t want to hurt
them. I don’t want to hurt thby .by . .
. but I will. I always do.”
“You haven’t
fucking killed me yet, vixen,” Jeffrey tried to joke, but it fell flat and
neither of them laughed. “Weren’t you
listening? I am fucking going to be at
your side whether you like it or not.
the things you care for is true – which I think is bullshit, no matter what
your precedent is – you’ll have me to care when you can’t anymore.
a lot. You’re my wife, and I on
on
you. I’m your husband, and you can do
the same. And you’re not going to hurt
the fucking kittens. You think they’d be
so interested in having you pet them if they thought you were going to fucking
hurt them? Animals aren’t all that
bright, granted, but they know when to stay away from someone intent on hurting
them. Got it?
touch. You can care.
care. You can take care of this child.
“Then you carry it
for nine months,” she muttered, but when he moved over to her, she didn’t try
to move .
“I can’t do that.
said, reclaiming her in his arms gently.
“I don’t have any
choice in this, do I?” she asked bitterly.
“No, not really.
vixen. It’s not going to be fucking
easy. In fact, I’m sure that it’ll be
fucking hell. But you’ll still have me.
type until now. Go figure, huh?
getting a dog or a white fucking picket fence.
with a small smile.
She didn’t
reply. Instead, she got up and climbed
into the bed, hissing as the tattered sides of her hands brushed against the
sheets. She wouldn’t try to get rid of
the kid, but she refused to be happy about it.
Jeffrey sighed.
slowly. “Or is it too late for that?” he
asked, rising to his feet and looking down at her.
“Do what you
want. My opinion obviously doesn’t
matter.”
“Don’t be like
that, vixen,” he sighed, slumping down on the bed and leaned over with his face
in his hands and his elbows propped up on his knees.
horrible thought occurred to him. “If
you. . .” his voice caught in his throat and he started again.
leave me after that, with the kid . .
. I’ll let you,” his heart felt like it had been torn out of his chest after
makine pre promise, be mae made it anyway.
want her to go through with it, but he meant it.
still have to have the kid, like it or not, but whatever comes afterwards is up
to you. I won’t ask from anything more
from you ever again if that’s what you want.”
he felt sick to his stomach at saying them.
was coming back. And he welcomed it.
welcomed an oncoming train had one been headed his way.
“Don’t say that,”
she said harshly.
“Why not?”
“I’m not an ice
princess,” she hissed. “Just because I
find it cruel to let this thing live in a world that would rather condemn and
judge it than give it a chance doesn’t mean I don’t have a heart.
even if I hated you – then you’re a fool.”
“I am a fucking
fool. I know that already,” he muttered.
“I’m not going to judge and condemn it,
Salida. Who says the world will?”
not. He couldn’t.
“Because I know how
they feel about us.”
any kid of ours will be every as bit as fucked up in the head as we are, but
you don’t know for sure. You
“Even if it is
normal, what do you think living in this household will do to it?”
“Give it an unique
prospective on life,” he muttered. “There
are a lot of fucked up families out there, vixen, and their kids turn out fine.
Ours will too.”
“And some turn out
to be criminals.” Or dead.
“Yeah, some do.
of what a child will be like when its older for hours on end.
genius. Our kid could be a schizophrenic
or a psychotic. Our kid could be
completely normal in every way. Boring,
in fact. There are a million
possibilities. We’ll deal with them all.”
Salida gave up and
fell silent, staring out the bedroom window.
“Do you want me to
go? I will if promise me you won’t try
anything else, and if that’s what you want,” he said with a sigh.
got that fucking drink.
“No,” she
sighed. “Stay.
“If that’s what you
want. Do you want me up there?” he
lifted his head and turned to look at as as she lay on the bed.
She nodded.
He kicked off his
shoes and moved up to where she lay and laid down next to her so that they were
facing each other. “Like this?” he
asked, wanting to hold her, but letting her call the shots for the moment.
“I don’t care.”
with it. “I’ld, ld, Jeffrey.”
“So am he
he
murmured, reaching over her and pulling the top blanket back over her shoulder
as far as it would reach with her laying on it and moved in to hold her
tightly, having her tuck his head under his chin and press herself against his
body.
Salida was stiff at
first, rigid and unyielding in his arms.
But as minutes passed and he didn’t start in on their child again, she
started to relax. Heat from his body
soaked into her, making her sleepy.
Without a fight, she surrendered to unconsciousness, her lips pulling
down into a small frown as even in her dreams she couldn’t escape her new
knowledge.
Jeffrey just
watched her sleep.
into sleep himself, he could feel his weary body crying out for it, but he
wouldn’t give in. He would watch over
his wife and his child within her for as long as he could, no matter what.
and tried to ignore it. When he grew
tired, he thought about what had happened when he hadn’t been there.
sleepless for a very long time.
******************************
******************************
Aida was woken up the next morning by a rough hand.
the bed, noting that the cats had once again opted to sleep with her in Sands’
absence. Jeffrey – understandably – had
been reluctant to leave his wife for a moment, and had stayed with her through
the long afternoon and night.
The hand left her
shoulder. kitty.”
She moaned.
“I want you to stay
with vixen. I’m going our a r a little
while. I won’t be fucking gone long.
probably never will, but please,” he said slowly.
Aida just sighed,
and nodded. “Is she awake?”
It was Jeffrey’s
turn to sigh and scowl. “Yes, not that
you’d fucking know it. She’s not
talking. She’s fucking ignoring
everything.”
She wasn’t
surprised. Getting out of bed, she
reached for her robe. “I guess that’ll
make babysitting easy then, won’t it?”
Jeffrey flinched a
little at her choice of words, but nodded.
anything happen. I won’t be gone long.”
say. He had already said his goodbyes to
Salida, not that she had responded, and now he had to do something to bring her back to him.
Aida watched him
go, and shrugged. This was hard for all
of them, but probably least so on her.
Even if it was her husband’s child as well.
Salida, she decided that it wouldn’t be a good idea to bring the child’s
parentage up.
******************************
******************************
Jeffrey entered the animal shelter with a frown.
finding Salida a cat at a place like this might be easier than finding one at a
pet store. He didn’t quite understand
his own logic, he simply followed it. As
he walked along the rows of cages with pitiable animals in them, he stopped in
front of the one that seemed to be hissing at him.
Inside, a small calico
cat was not afraid of showing its dislike of him.
breathless. Yeah, well, lots of fucking love to you too, cat.
“If someone doesn’t
take that cat soon, she’ll be put down,” came a woman’s voice from behind him.
“Put down?
The woman
shrugged. “We don’t have room for all
the animals that are brought in to us – especially cats.
the volunteers are afraid to feed it.”
Jeffrey let out a
short laugh at that. “I think I can see
why. I’ll take her,” he muttered.
turning to the woman and frowning.
The woman couldn’t Jeffrey looked the ****************************** Salida had migrated to a patch of diluted sun by the time “Vixen? The cat darted “Don’t look at me. Salida didn’t move For a moment she She didn’t bother Taking care not to Jeffrey just leaned Salida glanced over Jeffrey sighed, but Salida heard her She was on the Another half hour Still Salida didn’t Jeffrey just sat at As a rule, he After another half Suddenly Salida With a deep sigh,e pie picked up her new pet – setting off a new round of unhappy sounds – and He had fucking She hummed an Jeffrey’s face fell She shook her Jeffrey’s spirits She nodded again, Jeffrey nodded and “Messy,” she “Not too bad. She lifted her “What does? “Fed her,” she “But not yourself,” “Wasn’t hungry.” Jeffrey’s frown “No.” “Estar,” she “Just be?” he asked “I need a name,” “What kind of name?” “The cat. “Got anything “It’s a girl,” she “If it wer to
to “Not a girl name,” “Desdemona,” he “Not me,” she Jeffrey gave her a “Did once,” she “What? “When Sands . . .” “Oh.” “You said,” she “Yeah, I did,” he That was why she “Forget it. “For what?” “For talking to me,” “It hurts,” she “What hurts? “Not talking.” “Yeah. “I’m trying.” He met her eyes and “I . . . I know I’m “You shouldn’t. “Time.” “How much time?” She shook her head “Alright. Salida felt tears “Do you still want She wanted him to Jeffrey just looked Salida trembled, “I love you,” she Jeffrey just bowed “Just tell me what “Seeing you happy again. Unfortunately, she
believe her ears. “We’ve given her the
shots she needs under the
animal codes, and she’s been wormed and washed – none of which were pleasant
experiences. You’ll need to pick
supplies at a pet shop, but other than that she’s free to go.”
cat. “You’re going to need something to
transport her in. I’ll see if I can find
a box.”
cat straight in the eye aswaitwaited for the woman to come back.
teeth. You keep that in mind because you’re
coming with me, like it or not. You can
ride up front with me or tied to the roof.”
******************************
Jeffrey arr bac back home. Aida had
tried to get her to eat something, and she’d taken a few bits of toast, but she
had no appetite. She wasn’t nauseous,
she just didn’t feel like eating.
yourself because that little demon scratches,” he held up his arms, bloody
scratches on both of them. He tipped the
box to one side and let the new cat fall out and land on the floor gracefully.
under the bed, and Salida’s eyes followed it.
Her eyebrows rose and she looked at her husband.
wounds.”
for several moments after Jeffrey left the room.
home, and the cat showed no sign of coming out.
didn’t know what she wanted to do. The
choice Jeffrey had made in a pet for her intrigued her, but she knew it was
simply a ploy to prove to her that she didn’t kill everything she was in charge
of caring for. She was stubborn enough
to let the cat go feral, but something in the way it had immediately run for
cover made her sympathize with it. Lying
down on her stomach, Salida peered under the bed.
Salida didn’t let this disturb her. She
felt like growling too.
speaking to the animal – it was too worked up for that, but she did look around.
was due to age or diet, Salida didn’t like it.
Her uneaten breakfast sat in a pof suf sunlight.
too picky – as far she remembered, most animals could be tempted by eggs and
bacon, if not toast.
move too quickly, she slid tlatelate under the bed.
Salida, its eyes glowing in the darkness, but it didn’t run away.
better. Having gotten the plate as close
to the cat as she could without crawling under the bed herself, Salida laid
back down, content to watch.
plate as if it were suspicious of some kind of trap, but Salida could see its
nose working. After five minutes or so,
it started to creep towards the food, keeping one eye on the woman; Salida took
care not to move. Go ahead, eat it. I’m not going
to. As if it heard her thoughts, the
cat hunkered down and started to delicately pick away at the meal.
against the doorway, reeking of antiseptic and the plasticy smell of new
band-aids, and watched her as she watched the cat.
anything, but it was a start.
sake. n stn style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “I’m going to go downstairs
and see if there’s anything to eat. I
don’t suppose you want anything?” he spoke softly, not wanting to startle his
wife nor her new pet.
her shoulder and shook her head, then turned back to her study of the cat.
black. It had one grey eye and one white
eye, and (obviously) a temper.
thought as she watched it, forgetting about her husband.
left her alone with the cat. He didn’t
like being ignored, but there was nothing he could really do about it.
and hope she came out of this funk and back to him soon.
that everything would ever be back to normal again, but he missed her already
and he wanted her back. If that fucking
cat didn’t help . . . he didn’t know what he’d do next.
husband leave and felt a little bit guilty, but she didn’t try to go after him –
she didn’t have the energy to.
it objected to being watched.
herself or cat cat anymore, and she didn’t care to try to figure it out.
Salida slowly slide a hand and arm under the bed.
of the plate, and she hoped that eventually that cat would become used to her
smell or something. She
to touch Sands and Aida’s cats, but this one was hers, and the chance to touch it wouldn’t be charity.
be a hard earned gift.
how long she laid on the floor, but it was enough for the sun to move across
the walls and for her to grow drowsy with inaction.
slow. At some point she lost awareness
of the growling animal.
verge of sleep when she felt something brush lightly across her hand.
twitch, and by that time, she was fully awake.
Opening in her eyes, she saw that the cat was smelling her; skittish and
never taking its eyes from her body, but smelling her nonetheless.
later, it was investigating her face, making warning noises anytime she
moved. Salida permitted it to run its
nose lightly over her skin, trying not to wrinkle her own nose as it rubbed its
rough tongue over her chin. Finally it
grew content that Salida wasn’t a threat, and it settled down at her side,
washing itself vigorously.
try to touch it – she’d let it fall asleep first.
brush against her now and then. Observing
it, she decided that while it wasn’t a kitten, it couldn’t be quite a year old
yet. I
need to think of a name for it.
the top of the stairs and waited. Waited
for something, anything to happen. He
couldn’t go to his and Salida’s bedroom, he fucking felt like a stranger there.
Like he wasn’t wanted.
probably the fucking truth, you know that, right?
want. I’m not surprised she’s not
talking to you. She probably fucking
h you you. And who could blame her?
this, but what choice did he have? The
voice came from his own thoughts and fears.
them and he couldn’t escape them. He
wished he could give her what she want an an abortion – but he couldn’t.
kill. He had never even hesitated before
over the many people he had killed, not once.
to do the killing for him.
generally didn’t give a fuck about abortion.
fucked up bitches do what they want. It’s
not my problem. But this was.
hour, the cat had settled down for a nap.
Salida watched it for a good long time before attempting to pet it.
that she was amazed the cat felt it; but feel it it did, and one drowsy eye
opened to look at her as it growled softly.
Its body stayed perfectly relaxed – it didn’t even twitch its tail – but
it didn’t sound happy. However, when
Salida stopped, both eyes opened to look at her accusingly.
purr,” she breathed, petting it once again; its fur was soft and silky.
pampering, and the cat slowly fell asleep.
became aware of how much time had passed.
Craning her neck, she saw that it was going on eleven.
Jeffrey? wondwondered. He’d left her
alone for so long. Was he mad at her?
for him.
climbed onto the bed. She tried to
settle the on on her lap, but it was offended by being picked up.
blankets less than a foot away. Salida
sighed, and wished Jeffrey would come visit her, even ifwas was mad.
waited for a long fucking time and Jeffrey knew he couldn’t take it anymore.
waiting for her to make the first move. With
this in mind he stood up abruptly, cursed as both of his legs threatened to
give out on him as they were both asleep, and marched down tall all to his and
Salida’s bedroom, determined to confront her.
determination fled and he sighed, peeking his head inside to check on his wife,
praying that she wouldn’t tell him to leave.
now. “Vixen?” he whispered, not entering
the room. “You still awake?”
affirmative, not quite up to talking yet.
That and she didn’t want to wake the cat up.
a le whe when she didn’t respond, but he didn’t let it deter him from walking
into the room more boldly than he felt at the moment.
to get that much out of her at least.
head. Licking her lips, she murmured, “Thank
you,” and was surprised at how hoarse her voice was.
lifted a little to hear her speak to him again in something other than an
accusation or curse. “You’re welcome.
and move her eyes to the cat when the look of relief on his face made her guilt
grow.
looked at her seriously for a moment as if to will her to stay awake and
talking to him before making his way into the bathroom to get a cup of water
for her. Bringing it back with him,
careful not to spill a drop, he handed it to her.
murmured, nodding towards the bathroom.
It was as close to a neutral subject as she could get at the moment.
you were asleep,” he said softly. “I
would have done it all, but I didn’t want to fucking wake you.”
head, acknowledging his words. She
purposefully caught his gaze, then looked at the sleeping cat.
has two different eyes.”
possessed. I can’t believe you managed
to tame her. Just looking at her makes
my fucking arms hurt,” he muttered.
whispered.
he whispered back with a frown, still standing at the side of the bed.
more questions.
deepened, but he didn’t press further. “You
want me to go?” he asked softly.
asked even softer.
whispered.
with a frown. “Fine.
well I like to hear the sound of yours. Just
. . . talk. Please,” he whispered.
she murmured, stretching her arm until she could touch the cat.
he asked, sitting down on the bed gently.
specific in mind?”
murmured. She knew the conversation was
painful for both her and Jeffrey, but she couldn’t seem to talk about anything
deeper than the cat and the room.
me, I’d call the little demon . . . demon,” he muttered, glaring at the
sleeping cat ineffectually.
she replied, but she thought about it.
The cat did have a bit of demon in it.
“Desdemona.” Wasn’t she the wife of Othello? she wondered.
repeated. “Othello’s wife.
whispered, suddenly anxious. “The cat,
not me.”
somewhat sad smile. “I couldn’t do what
Othello did, even if you did betray me, vixen.
whispered, shivering.
frown, feeling a piece of his heart break off and crumble to ash within his
chest.
she waved a hand. “That was my one
mistake. I don’t get another.”
reminded him.
said softly, staring across the room, wishing he hadn’t.
. . . incident . . . until she had reminded him of it.
knew she didn’t have a choice in having this child.
be, and if she crossed him, who knew what would happen.
She hadn’t meant to bring up such a depressing subject.
in some semblance of happiness again. It
wasn’t an easy task, but then he reminded himself that she was at least talking
to him again, and it grew a little easier.
. except perhaps for feeding Des.
he muttered, turning to look at her.
admitted softly. “My fault again.”
as hers, still looking at her, but not moving.
things we’re not talking about.
meet his. She was worried that her
trying wasn’t enough.
felt his brow furrow with his frown. “I
appreciate that,” he murmured, not looking away from her, as if by doing that
she would somehow disappear.
not . . . but I feel alone,” she whispered, face flushing in shame.
leave her, but she couldn’t quite believe it for some reason.
staring at her. “Tell me what I can do
to make you believe that I’m not fucking going anywhere, and I will.
that to her was time. Nine months or
more.
and turned away again. Des’ two-toned
gaze was fixed on them resentfully.
much as it takes,” he murmured, turning away from her to stare across the room
again.
prick her eyes; she was a dismal failure as a wife and mother.
me to stay?” heed sed softly, not knowing what else to
know what to do about it. He didn’t know
how to fix it.
do whatever he wanted. At least one of
them still had that option. “Come or go,
you’ll make me happy by doing what you want.”
She wanted him to stay and hold her.
She didn’t want to talk – it hurt.
More than silence did. She just
wanted him to hold her.
at her and sighed. I can’t keep fucking doing this, he thought to himself grimly.
it. She needed him right now, whether
she admitted it or not. And he was
willing to give her everything if she wanted, and nothing if she didn’t.
seem to love him like a puppy. A wife
who couldn’t even talk to him anymore. He
just couldn’t. He wasn’t that strong.
bothering to undress at all, and wrapped his arms around her and held her
tight. “Sleep, vixen.
want.” He also couldn’t keep staying up
all night to watch her, but he couldn’t help it.
He couldn’t deal with something
happening to her.
too wound up to sleep for some time.
Words crowded into her mind, so many that she’d never be able to say or
explain them all. She knew she was being
selfish, and she knew she was hurting her husband, but she couldn’t stop.
choking her in its intensity.
managed to whisper, right before the sobs that’d been building up since
yesterday broke free. “I love you, I
love you, I love you,” she managed to get out through the painful bursts.
leaned into his. She was hot –
overheated actually – but she couldn’t move away.
his head into the crook of her neck and held it there with a soft mixture
between a sad moan and a sigh. “I love
you too, vixen. God, I love you so
fucking much.”
will make you happy,” she whispered some minutes later, tears still running down
her face.
Watching you laugh.
his face clenched in sw.
cry. “When you’re happy, I’m happy,
vixen. When you’re not I feel like my
fucking chest has been rent in two,” he whispered.
couldn’t promise him that. “I’ll try,”
she breathed into his neck. “I’ll try.”
trust himself to respond – he had never felt more weary than he did right now –
he just held her closer and breathed in the scent of her hair.
shoulder, thankful when his voice didn’t crack.
best he could and pulled away to look at her.
She opened her
mouth to say something, but a loud hissing from behind her interrupted
her. She turned to look, but before she
could, the newly christened Desdemona had launched herself onto Salida’s chest,
and she was hissing furiously at Jeffrey.
violently and pushed himself away from the hissing cat, his eyes wide and his
heart racing. He had just barely managed
not to pull his knife on the new cat and slice it then and there.
the hissing cat.
Salida just stared
at it, as wide-eyed as Jeffrey was. With
a trembling hand, she reached up to stroke her pet, and the cat subsided into
growls. “Try to touch me,” she told
Jeffrey.
Jeffrey just looked
at her as if she was insane before nodding and reaching out a slightly
trembling hand to Salida’s shoulder.
started hissing again. Realizing what
was wroSaliSalida started to laugh, even if it sounded a bit forced, and on the
edge of hysteria. Something like a starving
person finding out they’d been trapped in a bakery.
“What the fuck are
you laughing about? Your fucking cat’s a
psycho!” Jeffrey murmured, not catching the irony of his statement.
“You picked her
out,” she replied. “Why are you
surprised that she’s not only psycho but jealous as well?”
“Not funny, vixen.
“Hear that, my pet?”
Salida gasped. “You need to learn to
share.” Des merely growled, but her
claws did retract.
“I should have left
her in the fucking shelter,” Jeffrey murmured around a yawn he wasn’t entirely
able to stop.
His wife
pouted. “Maybe . . . maybe you just need
to feed her too. I imagine a nice steak
would go a long way in winning her good favor.”
Turning her head away from the cat, Salida noticed that Jeffrey’s
eyelids were drooping. “Take a nap,
lover.”
“I’m fine,” he
insisted, willing himself awake. “And
who fucking says I’m going to give that bi –” both cat and mistress glared at
him, “beautiful cat a whole fucking steak?
“She can’t eat an
entire steak,” Salida pointed out, her laughter dying to giggles.
has a reason not to like people?”
“Maybe so.
me. At this rate, it’d be fucking easier
for me to just learn my own first aid so you wouldn’t have to do it all the
time,” he grumbled around another yawn that he was able to cut off.
“Sleep, Jeffrey,”
she pressed.
“No.
“If we go
downstairs, and I promise to sit and watch TV, and you get to lean against me
or something, then will you sleep?”
person. She’d agree to almost anything
at the moment if only he’d take care of himself.
“I’ll go downstairs
with you, but I won’t sleep,” he said stubbornly.
“Please?” she
asked, voice trembling. “For me?
too. But you need sleep.
“You promise?
“I’ll eat a
sandwich and a piece of fruit.”
“Then I’ll sleep.
Salida agreed,
knowing that once he fell asleep, he’d stay that way for some time.
“Then lets go
downstairs and get you something to eat.
I’ll fucking sleep.”
******************************
******************************
Jeffrey came awake with a start, wondering where the fuck he
was and what had happened.
that she would let him sleep for as long as he could rather than waking him
like he had wanted her to. The black cat
that had been sleeping on his chest glared at him when he woke up suddenly and
jumped off of him, stalking into the kitchen.
and through his hair, attempting to untangle it.
better. “Hello?
thickened with sleep.
“In the kitchen,”
Aida called over the running of water. “Salida
said to let you sleep through dinner.”
With experience, the other woman was learning to tell the difference
between Jeffrey’s voice and her husband’s.
“I just bet she
did,” Jeffrey muttered, padding into the kitchen in bare feet.
he slept. “Where is she?” he addressed
the woman in front of him.
“Outside,” Aida
replied as she rinsed a pan. “I tried to
call in win when it started raining, but she told me to mind my own
business. Luckily the rain around here
is warm in the summer.”
Jeffrey glanced out
the window and saw the outline of his wife in the hammocksideside.
lips in thought before speaking to her.
don’t know why you’re helping, but . . . thank you,” he said slowly with a
short nod.
Aida shrugged, but
didn’t reply.
Jeffrey quirked his
lips in an almost frown and moved to join his wife outside without another
word. The moment he stepped outside he
could feel the rain soaking through his shirt and plastering his hair to his
skull. He didn’t mind really.
bare feet and stopped in front of Salida.
said with a small smile, water dripping from the end of his nose as he looked
at her.
“I had to get out
of the house. It’s easier to think out
here for some reason,” she murmu
“Is that right?” he
murmured, giving her hammock a little push and watching her swing.
“I didn’t either .
. . I just sort of stumbled across it.”
Opening her eyes, she gazed up at her husband.
Jeffrey shrugged,
not saying a word, keeping his face expressionless.
“That’s where you’re
supposed to say, ‘You’re insane and
pregnant – you’re allowed to be a bitch from time to time.’”
closed her eyes against the falling rain.
“You’re certifiable
and knocked up and allowed to be a little bitchy sometimes,” he said drolly.
She sighed – it wasn’t
the same if he said it after she prompted him.
“Are you here to tell me to come inside?” she asked.
“No,” he said
tilting his head back to embrace the rain.
“Mmm.”
kept the hammock hanging. The large
piece of cloth fell to the ground, and she took a seat on it, pulling Jeffrey
down beside her.
“Why’d you do that?”
he asked, gesturing to the now fallen hammock as he sat beside her in the rain.
“Do you know how
easily hammocks tip when there’s two people in them?”
Jeffrey laughed
softly at the image. “We could have been
careful,” he said with a smile.
closer to him. “Did you have a nice nap?”
“Yeah, I suppose I
did. Even though I woke up with a cat on
my chest hours later than when I wanted to,” he said wryly.
“You needed the
sleep. You weren’t looking well at all.”
“I was just a
little tired, that’s all. You make it
sound like I was deathly ill or something.”
“No . . . you were
pale. And broken.”
broke you.
“I’m always pale.
skin, vixen. And I wasn’t broken,” he
insisted with a frown.
“I could feel it,”
she insisted right back.
“Can you feel it
now?” he pressed, looking at her seriously.
“You’re better,”
she replied. “But I was worried.”
“Don’t.
around.”
“You’re my husband,” “Alright, fine. She shivered, but “Of?” he asked, “Right now? “You don’t have to “But you can’t stop “But I can try. “It’s going to be “Yeah, no shit,” he “I’ll try.” “Thank you,” he She was trembling “I’ll be as gentle “I’m not. “What do you want “Just . . . just “Anything you want,” “Too fast,” she “I’m sorry,” he She laughed, “It’s alright, I’ll “Alright.” “What would you Panic beat at her, Stomach tightening, “Ok,” he said with Her skin no longer In a voice that was “I will,” he said Each time she heard < sty style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Jeffrey just kept “I’m going to get Jeffrey looked up “I’m going to get “You’re a fool if “What if they “But they shouldn’t “What am I supposed “There have been “But babies are so “So?” “ “Then you’ll do The dark made these “Yes. She wanted so badly That was a hard “Why?” “Cause she’d be Salida irrationally After a few “That’s all I can “No,” she Jeffrey nodded. “Well . . . picking Jeffrey just “The baby.” an>Jan>Jeffrey looked at She’d stiffened in Jeffrey pulled away “The weight. “Whoa, hold the
she said softly, lifting her face to let the rain wash it.
tight and placing the gentlest of kisses on her forehead, not knowing how she’d
react.
she didn’t pull away. “I’m scared,” she
whispered.
kissing her again in the same spot.
This thing inside me. You.
Especially me.”
ever be scared vixen. Not while I’m
around. I would never let anything
happen to you,” he promised, taking her head in his hands and pulling back to
look at her.
everything,” she breathed, one hand going to rest on her abdomen.
lose control.
aside the brief swell of arousal he felt to see her put her hand on her stomach
like that. Now was not the time.
we have each other, vixen. You keep me
balanced and I’ll do the same for you.”
harder . . . this thing,” she caught his look.
“This ch-child complicates
matters.”
muttered to himself. “Then we’ll just
have to try harder, vixen. We can do
this. You can do this,” he insisted,
believing it fully.
said, kissing her forehead again softly before licking a little rain off of
skin before he could stop himself. “Sorry,”
he murmured afterwards.
with tension now. “I want to,” she breathed.
But I’m scared, and I don't know why.”
She was scared, but she wanted to be close to her husband as well.
as you want me to. <'> You don’t need to be
scared of me, vixen,” he whispered, moving a lock of wet hair out of her face.
but her mind wasn’t ready for anything besides talk yet.
me to do then? Tell me, and I will.”
keep talking. And go slow?”
he said slowly. He reached out a hand
and cupped her chin, running his fingertips along her cheek and jaw.
rain. Like a fucking dream.
my hands over your body,” he punctuated his words with the actions they spoke
of, but kept everything slow, “and I just know that I’m the luckiest fucking
on eon earth. I don’t deserve you, but I
will never let you go now that I have you.
our child.
murmured, resting her forehead against his shoulder.
sending unpleasant waves of sensation across her body.
said, stilling his hands and pulling them away from her.
smile.
although it sounded forced. “God, I’m
sorry,” she whispered. “I really don’t
mean to be difficult.”
live. Don’t be sorry,” he murmured,
holding her chin up to look at him. “You
want me to go slow, I will. Just . . . remind
me if I start going too fast.”
heart. Jeffrey had promised to be gentle
with her, to listen to her, to go slow for her, but her body was still in a
state of emergency. Her mind knew she was
safe, but her muscles and lungs didn’t quite believe it.
this sex could lead to.
like me to do? Tell me what you want me
to do, vixen and I will,” he said softly.
would start going faster again and she didn’t want that.
but she forced it down. She didn’t know
what she wanted, and that’s what part of her fear stemmed from.
up a part of her normal life, everything else would fall into line.
uncomfortable around her husband; she couldn’t go on robbing herself of her
greatest strength.
she whispered, “Kisses. Kisses just as
light as the rain that's falling.”
a small smile, leaning over her slowly, not touching her with anything but his
mouth. He kissed everything he could
reach; her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks, her forehead, her chin, everything.
managing. He placed a gentle kiss on her
lips and pulled away from her. “Like
that? I’ll keep going, but is that what
you want?” He was determined to keep
asking her the same question until she knew what she wanted.
and he was trying to help her get over it.
that he had to help her be decisive again.
cried out against his touch, and she sighed in relief.
her body still hummed with tension.
again, time to adapt her perceptions of herself to allow for the life growing
within her. Time to grow comfortable
around her husband.
hard to hear over thisphispering of the rain, she murmured, “Keep going.”
with a small smile. He leaned over her
once more and kissed her gently on the lips again before moving up to her nose
and then immediately to the underside of her jaw, having her tilt her head back
a little. He kissed her throat and moved
down to her collarbone and shoulders, each kiss slow and gentle.
after every second or third kiss.
her name, the knot of tension in Salida’s body loosened just a bit more.
she was lying down on the displaced hammock, Jeffrey leaning over her.
the straps of her tank top, his lips brushing over her wet skin.
her muscles relax.
kissing her. And he would continue to do
so until she made some motion that she wanted more or asked for something else
from him. With her laying down he was
able to kiss a path along her body, starting with her shoulders and working his
way slowly down, trying to ignore the sight of her hardened nipples through her
shirt. He kissed her shoulders, her
chest and stomach through her shirt. He
tried to not pay special attention to her stomach and the life he now knew was
growing inside of her – he didn’t want to make her feel any more uncomfortable
than she was already – but it was hard.
fat,” she murmured, laughing slightly at such a trivial concern.
at her with a quirked eyebrow. “Yeah,
pregnant people tend to do that. But if
you think that I’ll care or somehow love you less, you’re fucking mistaken.
and sexy woman on the planet, no matter what.
stretch marks!” All thoughts of romance
fled her mind as she started obsess. “Cellulite,
swollen ankles, sore back, a double – no, triple chin . . .”
you think any of that will matter to me, Salida,” he said seriously.
matter to me?” she asked softly. “So
many things have happened e the that I’ve had no control over.
matter to you, vixen. You’ll be
beautiful still. And there are some
things in life you just have no fucking control over.
over your life, but I refuse to be sorry that you got pregnant, vixen,” he said
softly. “I’m sorry that it’s driven a
fucking wedge between us, but I’m not sorry about the child.”
upwards at the dark sky, rain splashing off his face, figuring that she wouldn’t
want to take things any further now that their conversation had come to this .
. . particular topic.
to do with a baby?” she asked. “I’ve
never beenund und children. What if I
hurt it by accident? Because I didn’t
know any better?” Her voice
dropped. “I don’t think I’d be able to
forgive myself.”
quite a lot of fucking first-time parents in the world, vixen.,” he whispered,
his eyes closed and his head still tilted back to meet the rain.
doesn’t have a fucking clue. That’s what
they make all those fucking baby books you see in the book stores for, right?”
innocent . . . I don’t want to be responsible for ruining that.”
vixen. We all lose that innocence.
child.”
better,” he said simply, looking over at her again, rain dripping down his
face.
things easier to talk about. “You really
. . . you really want this child?”
Salida. I really do,” he said slowly.
to ask him why, but he’d admitted he hadn’t known, so settled on something
else. “What do you want it to be?”
question. “I don’t know.
about how I would want to have a son, then I start thinking about how I might
like having a daughter.” He hesitated
then and seemed to really think about it.
away, feeling embarrassed for some reason.
badly, needed the answers to make her feel whole again.
beautiful just like you,” he said softly.
have me wrapped around her fucking little finger,” he almost grumbled.
wanted to object to being beautiful, but she kept her mouth shut.
seconds, she murmured, “I’m not going to lie and say I want this kid, but I
think that given enough time, I could
want it.”
ask for,” he said with a small smile, not letting himself hope.
moment before turning to her. “Do you
want to go inside?” he asked softly, figuring she wasn’t in the mood for play
any longer.
whispered. “I miss being with you.
things that go with being responsible, and I don’t want to.
trying to put his arousal out of his mind.
up where you left off wouldn’t be a bad idea.”
Salida was still anxious, but mixed in with that was a desire to see if
he still found her attractive.
blinked at her, not believing his ears. He
had been envisioning a cold shower just a minute ago.
managing to keep the relief out of his voice.
lean over her body again, but not kissing her yet.
her, and she wished that she could somehow soak in that enthusiasm.
child.
her for a long moment before rolling up the edge of her soaked shirt to reveal
her slightly rounded stomach. “I’d been
meaning to tell you earlier, but there was never the right time. . .
the weight you had gained before I knew . . . what it was.
beautiful now than before,” he said softly, staring at her intently to let her
know that he was being completely honest before laying an almost reverent kiss
on her abdomen. “I like your curves,
they’re . . . more feminine somehow. Sexy,”
he murmured, kissing her sides and then moving back to her stomach and dipping
his tongue into her belly button to lick at the collected water there.
for her again before looking up at her face to judge her reaction to all of
this.
fury, her hands clenching into fists.
He’d known, he’d known, he’d
known. “You knew?”
from her then with a frown, seeing the reactions pass over her face. “Knew
what, vixen?” he asked, completely confused as to what had set her off.
fuck up a second, I didn’t say that. I
had no fucking clue that you were pregnant, vixen,” he halted his words,
frantically trying to remember exactly what he had said.
pregnant. I swear I fucking didn’t.
you couldn’t lose it. So it was
pointless for me to tell you not to try to.
kitty found the test and told me.”
minutely. “You promise?”
“I fucking swear,
vixen. I was completely clueless.”
She let out a long breath
she hadn’t known she’d been holding. “I’m
sorspanspan style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I’m just really . . . sensitive
at the moment.”
“I think you’re
fucking entitled,” Jeffrey said with a shrug, relieved that she wasn’t angry
with him.
“I don’t want to be
entitled. Being such a bitch makes me
feel like shit.”
“Sorry.
asked honestly, wanting to help.
“I don’t know.
moment is to take my mind off all this.
And>And perhaps we’ll succeed before the sun rises.”
“Perhaps,” Jeffrey
said with a small smile. “Either that,
or before the rain stops,” he said, looking up into the dark sky at the rain
that didn’t seem to be stopping any time soon.
before?”
She nodded.
it.”
Instead of
responding, he merely leaned over her stomach and began kissing her again.
shirt-covered breasts as briefly as he could manage before taking one of her
hands in his and kissing his way down her arm, pausing to suck on each of her
fingers slowly before doing the same to her other arm.
after every second or third kiss. He
moved down her waist, again hesitating over the area between her legs, but
moved away after a few seconds and kissed his way down one leg before kissing
his way back up the other.
This was nice, but
Salida was feeling awkward, as if they were beating around the bush.
Reaching down with
one hand, she tangled her fingers in her husband’s wet hair, and tugged him up
so they were face to face. Her eyes
studied his, briefly and seriously before she pulled hown.own.
they were together for the first time.
Self-conscious, she trembled under Jeffrey’s body as she kissed him
slowly and lightly.
Jeffrey couldn’t
believe how thankful he was for a single kiss from his wife.
time in the bathtub seemed like it had been a fucking lifetime ago.
as she was moving, but he wanted more.
in invitation, hoping that she’d accept.
the way he was hovering on top of her, propped up on his elbows and kissing her
made him want to take things further. And
quickly. He was an impatient and utterly
aroused man nearly lying on top of his wife.
that’s what she wanted.
After taking a few
seconds to think about it, Salida parted her lips.
faster than she would have liked, and she pulled away as much as the ground
under her head would let her.
Jeffreyt het her
pull away and immediately slowed himself, not wanting to stop kissing her.
her lips and the inside of her mouth with his tongue.
looked at her. “I’m sorry if I went too
fast, vixen.”
“I’m sorry for
being so skittish. It’s not like you’re
going to get me pregnant or something.”
The joke fell flat. “God, I’m
sorryp>
p>
“Why are you sorry?
Don’t be,” he promised her, keeping his
face genuine. Inside, where he hoped she
wouldn’t see, he was more than a little saddened that his wife seemed to be
fearful around him. His wife that could
be every bit as passionate and rough during their coupling as he could.
blushing bride on her honeymoon, which obviously wasn’t the case since the
blushing e wae was knocked up with her husband’s child.
She did as he
asked, and pulled him back down to her.
Another soft kiss passed as she played with his hair and stroked his
face. Then, determined to be at least a
little normal, she slipped her tongue past his teeth, caressing the silky walls
of his mouth and slowly inviting him to kiss her in return.
He did so without
hesitation, first kissing her deeply and then pulling away to nibble and suck
on her bottom lip gently before kissing her deeply again, whispering his love
for her in every free breath.
Salida could feel
herself relaxing. Her heart was still
pounding, but the rhythm had changed from agitated to the first stirrings of desire.
sheltering her from some of it and dripping on her at the same time.
when he finally pulled away she opened eyes she couldn’t remember closing and
look up at him through her eyelashes.
“What is it?” he
gasped somewhat breathlessly as she looked at him.
asked.
She laughed, but
there was no joy in it. “How long have I
been pissed off that you automatically expect it?” she asked.
ached. Ached for what she was putting
her husband through.
“Sorry.
it really isn’t.”
“No . . . I’m not
mad at you.” Mad at herself,
certainly. Jeffrey didn’t deserve to be
treated so poorly.
“Then . . . what is
it?” he asked with a confused half frown.
you asked me what was wrong, as if something should be wrong, and now I’m mad at myself for making you think
that something should always be wrong and that you’re the one I blame.”
swallowed, and tried again. “You’re not.”
anything.
“Who says?
the one who’s forcing you to have a kid you don’t want, remember?
nine months, now is it?
first place, vixen. Go ahead and blame
me. You’d be right to.”
Her face crumpled.
“Then don’t.
automatically wrong. That was
Salida shook her
head, neither accepting nor denying what he’d said.
yawn interrupted her, making her jaw pop.
“Please don’t tell
me you’re tired. an>Yan>You forced me to sleep
the day away, vixen. I’m fucking wide
awake now,” he almost pouted.
“I’m sorry,” she
murmured. “It’s just been a long
day. Two long days.”
from his face. “It is a shame though.”
“What is?
but softened slightly at her touch.
“It’s not that easy
. . .” she yawned again. “If I had
something to do, it’d be a different matter.”
Weariness was making her mind dull.
Jeffrey rolled his
eyes at her comment and leaned down and nipped her on the underside of her chin.
He was tired of being gentle.
he said dryly, but a smirk was tugging at his lips.
Her eyebrows
raised. “Oh really?” she murmured.
awake?” Her hands moved to his
shoulders, kneading them through the damp material.
“I’ve always got a
plan,” he said, the smirk that had been slowly forming now firmly fixed on his
face. He began kissing her again like
before, but while before he had been slow and gentle, now he was passionate and
a little playful, licking the rain droplets off of her skin as often as he
kissed. After doing that for a few
minutes he cast a brief glance up to her and then lowered his mouth to her
chest and began to suck her left nipple through her shirt.
Salida gasped, and
stiffened under his lips, although she quickly relaxed again.
as she tried to control the wave of heat that was washing though her.
had dodged past all her hesitations. She
let out an aborted moan when he scraped the trapped nipple with his teeth.
Jeffrey, upon
hearing that moan, felt a tension leaving his shoulders that he didn’t know had
been there. His wife was a far cry from
the vixen she was, but it was a ste the the right direction.
rolled up her shirt all the way and latched onto her now bare nipple again,
thankful that she had forgone a bra. He
rolled her nipple between his teeth for a while before moving to her other and
giving it the same treatment. He wanted
to touch her, but he didn’t have a free hand at the moment, so he let himself
enjoy her hands on his head and back until he could return the favor.
Jeffrey was moving
quickly, but Salida found she enjoyed the sensation of being unable to
retaliate or adjust to him. He pulled
her up a bit so he could slip her shirt over her head, and she allowed him to.
her butt, and she sighed. His mouth
returned to hers, and she welcomed him back.
He was kissing her
blindly now, moving from her mouth to nip at her neck and throat and back again
in a somewhat frenzied pace. He felt
himself rocking against her, his arousal hard and waiting for her, but he would
need a little help with that. He cursed
his broken hand for the hundredth time and spoke softly, his voice thick with
lust. “I don’t want to move my one good
hand to undo my pants so you’re going to have to do it.”
it himself if she hesitated for too long.
Salida moaned as
his words brought her back from the featureless sea of arousal she’d been
floating in. She didn’t want to undo his
pants. She wanted to be what amounted to
an observer; she wanted him to do all the work while she reaped the benefit,
but now he was being difficult.
Jeffrey saw her
hesitating and sighed, pulling his right hand out from under her and moving
back away from her on his knees. Instead
of grabbing at his own pants, he moved down to grab her pant legs.
wet pants down off her legs, bearing her now completely naked body to the dark
and to the rain. “Beautiful,” he
murmured. “And mine,” he said a little
louder. Loud enough for her to hear.
“You, my husband,
are going to have to learn how to share.”
“Yeah, maybe so.
pulling his sodden t-shirt over his head and adding it to the pile of wet
clothes and then sitting back so that he could remove his own pants.
into her. Instead, he began kissing her
again and ran the length of his arousal along her slit, letting out a short
moan at the sensation. “Ready or not, I’m
going to come pretty soon regardless, vixen,” he murmured with a smirk, looking
at her to see if she was ready.
She smiled slightly
at his – very bad – pun. “Well, when you
put it that way, you sweet talker, you . . .”
His smirk widened into
a grin and he leaned over to simultaneously kiss her and thrust into her,
moaning through the kiss at the contact, but not separating.
Salida shivered at
the invasion, and her hands tightened on his shoulders, but she forced herself
to relax. She hadn’t realized that she'd
been that unprepared, and with any luck, Jeffrey hadn’t either.
good.
Jeffrey had felt
her shudder, but put it out of his mind when she didn’t stop kissing him.
did he pull away. Still half propped up
on his elbows, his hands found her shoulders and he used them for leverage as
his thrusts sped up. “I-love-you-Salida,”
he grunted between each thrust.
She sighed and
smiled, her lower body starting to respond without her direction.
Feeling her respond
kicked his arousal into overdrive and Jeffrey could feel his climax beckoning.
that he was this close to coming this fast – they had had quite a long . . . foreplay
session – but he was. “Oh fuck . . . I
don’t understand how you’re able to do this to me so easily,” he said to her,
each word punctuated by either a gasp, a grunt, or a moan before burying his
face in her neck and kissing whatever he could reach.
last much longer.
She grinned this
time. Wrapping her arms around his neck,
she pulled him close and kissed his shoulder.
“Let go, Jeffrey.” Her hands
stroked over his rain-dampened back in broad sweeps.
Jeffrey didn’t want
to – not yet – but he found he didn’t seem to have a choice.
threw his head back as much as he could while she was holding him tightly and
moaned, the sound swallowed by the sound of the rain.
sounding grunts as his hips kept thrusting into her as his orgasm was spent.
back on her shoulder, not really able to do anything else due to momentary
complete exhaustion, and the fact that she was holding him tightly enough to
not allow much leverage.
Content and feeling
rather warm and fuzzy, Salida smiand and closed her eyes, nuzzling her face
into Jeffrey’s shoulder.
“I love you, vixen,”
he whispered, content to not move if she didn’t want to.
he hardly felt it. He was too wrapped up
in the sensations of the woman around him to put much focus on anything else.
“Mmm . . . love you
too.” Any she she shifted her weight,
she could hear the ground squelching under them.
Jeffrey sighed but
nodded. “Let’s go in now.
he muttered, pulling himself up and out of her.
pile of clothes and handed her a shirt.
you’re far more . . . tactful than I am,” he said wryly.
She sighed, put shimmied
into the wet garment, grimacing as it stuck to her like a clammy second
skin. “Let’s just get inside so I can
put on something dry.”
He rose to his
feet, not bothering to get dressed himself and offered his left arm so she
could pull herself up. When she had, the
two of them ran, squelching through the mud into the house.
wiping much of it off as he could on the welcome mat before entering the house.
However, Salida was
right there waiting for him, her arms open.
He walked straight into them, and she leaned her weight on him.
“And I suppose you
want me to fucking do something about that, right?” he said wryly, before
hoisting her up in his arms. “At least
this way only one of us will track fucking mud through the house,” he muttered,
kissing her briefly on the forehead before making his way toward the stairs.
noticed the weight she had gained but managed not to comment on it – but he
would do so for as long as he could and she wanted him to.
Salida rested her
head against his shoulder, and sighed.
She knew she probably shouldn’t have insisted for the ride considering
the condition of his arms, but she was tired and she didn’t care.
concerned. “Don’t hurt yourself.”
“I’ll try my best,”
he drawled, mounting the stairs up to their bedroom.
see one of the cats. How the fuck can you
go from never even owning a cat to having three in two fucking days?” he
muttered to himself as he made it to the stop of the stairs and turned to walk
down to their bedroom.
“Mmm . . .”
had no intention of doing so. Her eyes
were already slipping shut, and it was a struggle to keep her arms around her
husband’s shoulders so she could take more of her weight off his arms.
Jeffrey just rolled
his eyes at that and stopped inside their bedroom.
get changed and dried off, first? It
doesn’t make any fucking difference to me.”
She shuddered at
the thought of getting mud on her new sheets.
“Bathroom. I want to towel off as
much as I can.”
Jeffrey nodded and
carried her into the bathroom, trying to put aside the memories that were
already attached to the otherwise completely innocuous room like parasites.
a moment's trouble and then handed her a dry towel and grabbed one for himself
as well. “I wasn’t supposed to get these
wet. . .” he muttered, looking down at the still angry looking black stitches
showing through the scraps of wet gauze that had somehow survived the rain.
caring.
“If anything is
wrong you can get them looked at when Aida goes in for her next treatment
tomorrow,” she murmured. “You’ll be
there anyway.”
“Are you going to
go?” he asked softly, not knowing if this was a safe subject to bring up yet or
not, but wanting to know.
She let out a dry
laugh. “No.
she’s got the name of a good OB-GYN. I’ll
try to have an appointment by the end of the week.”
and inside her body, she wanted to know exactly what she was dealing with.
“Alright,” he said
softly, not knowing what else to say. He
turned his attention back to his injuries, unwrapping all the wet gauze
awkwardly with his broken left hand as best as he could.
gently with the towel, put some of the ointment he had been given to prevent
infection on both, and turned to Salida, unable to do this part alone.
wounded husband out with re-wrapping his hand and arm, could you, wife?” he
asked slowly, looking innocent.
“If I can’t look
innocent, than neither can you,” she murmured, reaching for the roll of gauze.
sure the bandages were snug enough not to move around and rub at the stitches,
but loose enougt tot to press down on them either.
Jeffrey felt a grin
split his face in two as he heard her use that particular nickname for him
again. As soon as he did however, he
felt a bit foolish and looked away. “Thanks.
You dry?>
>
“Enough.”
a dry shirt and a pair of boxer shorts. “Did
you grab our other clothes?”
“Uh, they’re in a
nice pile beside the backdoor. Forgot,”
he said, pulling out a pair of boxers for himself.
“S’ok.
flopped down on the unmade bed.
Something near her started growling, and she opened one eye and looked
at it. “Hello to you too, sweetie.”
“I’m not sleeping
in the same bed with that psycho cat,” Jeffrey insisted, pulling on the boxers
and following after her.
pouted, not wanting to kick the cat out.
“And I sleep with you.”
“I plead temporary
insanity,” he muttered, giving Desdemona a look.
if she so much as swipes a paw at me, she’s sleeping on the floor.
“Be nice to my cat.”
“Tell your cat to
bce tce to me!” he protested childishly.
“She’s just
scared. Once she’s used to all of us, I
bet she’ll calm down. Isn’t that right?”
she asked the cat, reaching over to scratch its ears.
herself on Salida’s chest. “Or you could
always resort to steak.”
Jeffrey just
muttered under his breath and climbed into bed next to her and the cat, keeping
a close eye on Desdemona. “I won’t mess
with her if she doesn’t mess with me,” he bargained, pulling the sheets up to
his waist. “And we’ll see about the
fucking steak.”
Salida shooed the
cat off her chest as it started to growl again.
There was a thump as it hit the floor, and Salida thought she heard it
take up residence under the bed.
Sighing, she rolled
over and rested her cheek on Jeffrey’s shoulder.
“I hope so,”
Jeffrey said softly, wrapping an arm around her back and hold her close.
“Promise you won’t
give up on me over the next few months?”
“I promise.
going to be able to get rid of me that easily,” he said with a small smile
before growing serious. “You don’t even
have to worry about that, vixen. I’ll
stay by your side. No matter what.”
“Remind me if I
forget?” She sounded very young asking
that.
“I will,” he said, “Are you going to “Maybe. She nodded, and “I know,” he
kissing her on the forehead again. “Get
some sleep, vixen.ot;
sleep?” she asked through a yawn.
settled more comfortably against his body.
“I do love you, Jey,” y,” she murmured softly.
murmured in return. “And I love you too,”
he said, reaching over with his left hand to stroke her still slightly damp
hair back from her face. He then wrapped
that arm around her too and squeezed her in a tight hug, reassuring himself of
her presence and simply needing to hold her, before letting up a little and
letting her breathe comfortably once more.