Not for you (FIN)

>Facts & Trivia:

My main inspiration for this chapter was this:

http://tinyurl.com/53rbp interesting web about 'forgotten' places in New York. If you think you know what New York looks like - skyscrapers and such - I suggest visiting that site and browse through it, which can take a couple of hours. It's amazing.

The boatyard described in this chapter is based on the Rossville boatyard, which can be found by clicking on 'The End of New York City' at the link given above. More pictures of that boatyard can be seen here: http://oboylephoto.com/boatyard/index2.htm by clicking on the 'next' link on that page. It's clearly amazing, I've never seen anything like this.

The only thing I've ever seen was an airplane yard, but I can tell you that sitting in the remains of a pilot's seat of a wrecked Ju 52 ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Junkers_Ju_52 ) at midnight, looking at the stars through the shattered cockpit windows, is something that I will never forget.

The house and surroundings I describe in the following chapter probably don't exist. However, if you've read the pages that can be reached over the link given above, I guess that you, just like me, have no doubt that something like this could indeed exist in New York.

Pick, for example, the white inn / tavern that can be seen in the middle of the "The End of New York City" page and imagine it to be mostly broken down; then imagine this house in the surroundings of what you can see at the "Camp Swampy" link, add an airstrip and a hangar as can be seen in the "Floyd Joy" link at the beginning and end of that page in your imagination... there you are; you're seeing what I'm trying to describe here.

And... just a suggestion... keep the image of what you've just seen and imagined in your mind... you'll eventually need it again in this story.




"Where the hell are you driving?" He asked some time later.

"I have no idea. In fact, I also have no idea where I am. Damn, I need navigation on my cars." I admitted.

"If you turn right twice I could introduce you to my sister." He suggested.

The boring sister, I thought. Then, however, that would be the first place where...

"Don't think that this is such a brilliant idea, Dom. Remember, Verone is probably looking for Brian's friends. Now, in which place would he look first?"

"Mia's cafe." He said, his face darkening.

"Damn right. Now, where else could we go?"

"Hmmm, I have an idea. Let me drive?"

I did.

About half an hour later we arrived at a place that I would call the most incredible thing I had ever seen: A boatyard with shipwrecks from what I would estimate the last century, in various stages of deterioration. They looked beautiful, terrifying and saddening at the same time.

"Dom!" I said, sitting down on a rusty pole. "Where the hell do these all come from?"

"From their original owners, I guess." He shrugged, examining a giant rusty Diesel engine which was taller than him. "Think we could fit that into the Pacer?" He grinned.

"Michael could. Perhaps. Gods, he has to see this."

He walked behind me, putting his hands on my shoulders.

"Promise me something?" I heard him say.

"Depends." I smiled.

"Don't show this to him. I'll do. This is... ours. Don't want you here alone with..."

"I can promise you that. Though you'll have to get used to the fact that I'm independent. You're independent. You can do what you want, I can do what I want. I promise I will not go here with him, but I will go to other places with him. He's my friend. I love him."

"You love me?"

Shit, there was this evil question again. Truth? Not really an option right now. If this whole thing was as dangerous as Sway said, I didn't want to practically burden myself by admitting anything to him. This way I would be able to keep some emotional distance if... if... damn, I didn't want to think about it. Get a damn ring on your finger, then you'll at least inherit the fucking garage... I heard Sway say in my mind. No way. No way I would do that.

"Could you ask me again in a week or so, when this is over?" I finally said.

"I could, but I'd like to hear it now." He was kneeling on his feet beside me by now, looking up at me. The late afternoon sun shining on his face, he just looked gorgeous. "See, I'd like to know that there's a purpose in what I'm doing here."

"You don't know that? You'll have your records cleared, as far as I know. You could, like, you know, walk around in daylight. Not sleep on trailers any more. Don't try and give me that 'my life is worth nothing without you' shit, Dom. Doesn't fit you."

"May be enough for normal people, but not for me." He shrugged, still looking up at me.

'Not for me' - yes, that one I know... I thought. Damn, was Racewars really just two weeks ago?

"Just a week or so, Dom, until this here is over. What could happen in the meantime?"

"You might fall in love with that..."

"I won't. That one thing I can promise - I so won't." I laughed. Verone was attractive, yes. But loving that guy was out of question.

"But there might be others..." He said.

"So what? That can happen any time, even if I would tell you what you want to hear right now. Remember you don't own me. You can have a big piece of my heart, but still, my body and soul are mine to dispose of. Just... trust me."

"Not so easy for me."

"Well, I have to trust you, too, right? You'll be doing lots of things with Memphis in the next days, without me, as far as I understand. The current situation might require you and me to do things we wouldn't do without the situation at hand, so..."

"I'll keep you out of this, don't worry. As soon as I had seen surveillance photos of the guy we're dealing with I knew I didn't want you in this."

Oh really, I thought. Well, that at least proves that you have some sort of social skills. If I had ever seen a picture of Verone before, I would never have stepped into that darn house...


"Why, what's he like?" I asked just to not seem so knowing.

"Evil, really evil. I mean, he looks mostly harmless and charming, but the eyes.. I don't think I've ever... not interesting, really."

Oh yes, very interesting, I thought. I don't think I've ever seen such eyes either, Dom...


"If you say so." I said. "Let's go, it's getting cold."

We walked back to the car.

When we drove back to Memphis' garage, we were passing through some kind of small forest. Through the trees I could see something that caught my interest.

"Dom?" I said. "I think I've seen something. Can you drive into that small way we've just passed?"

"Sure."

We drove up a long, obviously long abandoned way passing a very old iron gate which was hanging broken at two pillars.

All of a sudden we stood on a clearing by a lake. An old, abandoned, half broken large grayish-white Victorian house stood there.

"That thing looks like it came right out of Psycho." Dom said, eyeing the building.

"It looks beautiful." I said and climbed out of the car.

We took some steps towards the house. The windows had been shut with wood pieces hammered over them, so was the door. The two stories high building looked haunted, but beautiful.

"See, that's a place where I would like to live." I said.

"That thing needs to be torn down." He snorted.

"No, it needs a lot of tender loving care. Walk around it with me?"

All windows on the sides were also closed. When we reached the backside, I took a deep breath. "Shit, Dom... look!"

There was a small garden behind the house, the green hadn't been cut back for ages. But what was most interesting was something that looked like a long, wide street, and at the end of it there was a bigger, obviously also abandoned building with a large door at its front.

"Wow!" He said. "Looks like one of the former owners had a thing for flying."

"Flying?" I asked, a bit dumbfolded.

"Yeah, I think that building there was once used as a hangar, and that asphalt there leading to it could be an airstrip."

"And all by the lake hidden behind the trees. Isn't it beautiful?"

"It would be beautiful if someone would put a hell lot of work into it."

"Walk with me to the hangar? I want to see what's inside."

It took us several minutes to get to the big brick stone building. Dom eventually looked back, almost grinning. "That's more than quarter mile, don't you think?"

"I guess so, why?"

"Ah, just thought I'd mention it."

"Racers." I snorted. "But you're right, this here could be used as a private racetrack."

The hangar was mostly wrecked. The building was intact, but all windows were broken, a lot of rubbish was lying around. Someone had obviously thought it great fun to redecorate the walls with graffiti. But it was large, so large - old and beautiful.

"I love it." I said.

"It scares me." He replied. "Let's go back to the car; I'm tired and don't feel too well running around here. Who knows who's coming here to sleep, and it will soon be dark."

"You don't like ruins?" I said, walking beside him on the airstrip.

"Not really."

"But you like the boatyard? That's ridiculous." I yawned.

"I think we could both need a good portion of sleep, baby." He said, draping his arm around my shoulders.

"Sleep would be great." I nodded. "Which brings me to a question - where the hell will we sleep?"

"Either in Memphis' garage, or we'll have to go and find a motel."

"Motel would be great." I said and yawned again.

"Then let's hurry a bit." He smiled.

"Dom... sleeping it is. I need to get up early in the morning to..."

"I remember that. Though I'd love to distract you from it..."

"No way." I said and thought what Verone would probably think and do if I wouldn't show up.

One last look at the house before I got back into the car. The reddish evening sun was painting it to a warm orange, and I just thought that I would never forget that image in my whole life - so beautiful.

We really slept that night, and full ten hours, after a good dinner in a small restaurant. I so needed that: Food and sleep. When I woke up I felt as if I was new. Dom was still sleeping, I wondered what he had been doing with Memphis the day before.

I watched him for some minutes, how he breathed, shifted in his sleep. I looked at the clock - half past six. Shit! If I had to bring him to the garage and get to Verone afterwards until eight, it was damn time to get going.

"Dom..." I said.

"Mhhhh?"

"Time to get up."

"Don't want to." He grumbled.

"Dom... I'm going to be late."

"So what?"

A-ha! This is where you're coming from... "Well, if you don't get up then I'll drive off alone and you'll have to walk to the garage."

"That's unfair."

"No, it's unfair to try and make me be late for my first working day. Get up." I said and walked to the shower, on my way stopping by my bag and looking for something to wear.

It suddenly dawned me that I had a problem: Verone had asked me to buy D&G, which I did - but was I supposed to wear that stuff this morning? Probably not. Hopefully not, because if I would go down to the car and get the bags from the trunk now, Dom would definitely have some questions. So - Jeans and shirt would have to do. Car cleaning, right, Mister Verone? Not a runway show...

When I was finished with the shower Dom came into the bathroom, really still looking tired. I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"You know what... you should go back to bed." I smiled.

"You know what... you should come with me." He chuckled, half-yawning.

"You know what... you need a cold shower." I laughed.

He looked at me, really serious this time. "Don't disappoint me."

"I won't." I said, but couldn't look into his eyes when I did. I'm already disappointing you by not telling you the truth, Dom, I thought. "Just trust me. I will not betray your love to me."

I turned around and stormed into the bedroom, barely able to hold back my tears and froze when I felt his arms wrapping around me.

"What's up?" He whispered into my ear.

"If I tell you, will you promise to neither try to stop me nor comment on it until this is all over? And not to harm anyone we both know until this is over?" I said while a tear was rolling down my cheek. I knew he saw it, and I wished he hadn't.

"I promise." He said, voice extremely cautious and questioning.

"What I'll do today, I'll do for you. For you and the others. Don't think less of me once I tell you what I did today or in the next days. Just trust me that once this is finished, you'll understand what I'm doing."

No reply.

"Dom?" I said and tried to turn around to face him, but he didn't let me, his arms practically clamped around my body.

"Say something?"

"I promised not to comment, remember?" He said, his voice strained. "But can I ask a question?"

"Sure." I said and noticed that he was shivering for a moment.

"That car cleaning - does that have anything to do with our case?"

"Don't ask. Just... trust me. Better if you have no idea what I'm doing." I said, feeling another tear rolling down.

He turned me around, his arms still firmly wrapped around me and his face as serious as ever.

"You know what you're doing there?"

"I occasionally think that I don't, but believe me that I'll do my best. Hold me for a minute? I could really need it."

He almost crushed me.

"Don't you dare getting hurt, injured or killed even." He whispered.

"I promise I'll do anything I can to avoid that." I said. "Could you hold me a bit less tight? You're breaking my arms."

"I better get finished or we'll both be late." He said, turned around and slammed the bathroom door shut behind him.

If I had followed him, I would have seen him slumped down on the floor of the shower a minute later, crying; but I didn't.

I also didn't ask about his red-rimmed eyes when he returned from the bathroom twenty minutes later - a time much longer than he usually needed. I almost knew that he knew what I would be doing today; I knew he wouldn't like it - but the fact that he didn't talk about it made me think that he, finally, had understood that this had to be done.

I just didn't feel like spoiling my idea about this by simply asking him.... it was better for me to keep a sane mind. It dawned me that I finally understood what Sway had meant when she said that he shouldn't have me around in order to concentrate... but this time, it were my thoughts about him that kept distracting me - something I had to eliminate, and quickly.