More Than Darkness
38
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This is a crossover smutty story featuring the character of
Tess/Salida ie Tess' Voice in Neon class=SpellE>Dasies' OUATIM fics on ff.net,
More Than Eyes Alone Can See, and More
Than Life, and Sands/Jeffrey from Merrie's OUATIM fic
on ff.net, Darkness Rising. This story will make some sense, probably, if you
read it without having read either of our stories, but it'll make a hell of a
lot more if you just read them. They're all worth read we we promise. Anyway,
on with the show.
Rated for what has happened, and what might happen.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> We’re really not quite sure ourselves.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> On with the story.
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Two hours later, Aida was struggling to stay awake.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She knew she had to; to keep her promise to
Sands, to keep him from dreaming again, to earn his trust . . . but it was
hard. For the fifth time inside the last
twenty minutes, she looked down at the head cradled in her lap and was surprised
to see his eyes opening.
“Uh, hi kitty,”
Jeffrey murmured, more than a little surprised to see her face looking down at
him. He didn’t move because he wasn’t
fully aware of just how compromising his position was.
“I convinced Sands
to take a nap,” she whispered, moving her hands from his head.
“Probably a good
idea,” he muttered, moving away from her deliberately but not quickly. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He was getting used to this, as he was sure
Sands was getting used to waking up around Salida, and he refused to get
skittish. “God I’m still fucking tired,
but thanks.” He said with a yawn. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He then winced, the action pulling on his
split lip. He moved his hand up to it
and hissed slightly as his fingers encountered tender flesh. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Should I ask?” he murmured, gesturing to his
lip.
“I wouldn’t know
the answer. I didn’t do it.”
“Vixen did this? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> That’s somewhat fucking worrying. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Did he say anything to you about it?” Jeffrey
asked with a frown.
“No.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She wasn’t going to reveal that she and Sands
had fought unless she had to. It really
wasn’t any of Jeffrey’s business.
“Alright.” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He moved up off of the bed and looked at her. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “See you later, kitty,” he said somewhat
awkwardly before turning and leaving the room to go find his wife. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He had no idea what time it was, and he was
worried that he’d overslept and missed her fucking appointment. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Vixen? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You in here?” he called out softly upon
entering their bedroom.
She wasn’t.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> The room was completely empty, except for a
calico cat sitting in a patch of sunshine.
Since it was asleep, it couldn’t growl at Jeffrey.
Jeffrey frowned and
made his way downstairs. Had she gone to
the fucking appointment already without him? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Vixen? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You down here?” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Since he knew she wasn’t asleep, he called out
his query in each room he passed.
He found her asleep
at the kitchen table, bent awkwardly over a book she’d apparently been reading.
Jeffrey smiled and
kissed the top of her head gently before trying to settle her back in her chair
so he could pick her up and move her to the couch at least. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She woke up right as he had been about to move
her.
“Jeffrey?” she
asked, rubbing at sleep blurred eyes. “What
time is it?”
Jeffrey glanced up
to the stove to look at the clock there. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “About
You missed your fucking appointment,
didn’t you? Why? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Why didn’t you wake me or Sands up?” he asked,
assuming that he had missed the appointment because Sands had been sleeping.
She relaxed a bit
when she found out she wasn’t late yet. “I
was already late by the time the two lovebirds were settled back in their
nest. I had to reschedule my appointment
and hers.”
“Why? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> And why do I feel like I have a fucking split
lip, vixen? Kitty said she didn’t do it.
What the fuck happened?”
idiot,” she muttered. “I simply informed
him of that.”
“Oh. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Well I’m sure he fucking deserved it. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Don’t know if I did, but hey, that’s fucking life,” he said with a shrug. style='mso-erunerun:yes'> “When’s your appointment for this time?”
“One.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Aida’s at
thirty
could do.” She didn’t sound happy about
it either.
“What’s wrong now?”
he asked with a frown, taking a seat next to her at the table.
“Nothing.”
“It doesn’t sound
like nothing. What is it?” Jeffrey
pressed.
“You’re being a
pest.”
“Yeah, more than
likely. You’re being stubborn.”
“Maybe there’s just
nothing for me to tell you,” she replied, an edge of irritation to her voice.
“Alright fine. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I’ll shut up about it. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Did you want to get something to fucking eat
before you went?”
“I ate already,”
she sulked.
“Now you’re
sulking. Are you mad at me or something?”
“Is there a reason
I can’t be in a crappy mood without you being the reason for it?” she asked
slowly.
“No, but I don’t
like it when you’re in a crappy mood. It
puts me in a crappy mood. I don’t like
it when you’re upset period.” His voice
was cand and as soothing as he could make it without being patronizing, not
wanting to irritate her further.
“For your
information, I don’t like it either.” As
rude as the words were, there was no bite behind them.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “I just don’t know how to stop.”
“Try and focus on
something that doesn’t fucking put you in a crappy mood. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> It doesn’t matter what it is, just focus on
it. Focus on the way it made you feel
and try and make yourself feel that now. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I don’t know if it’ll work, but it’s worth
fucking trying at least.”
“Hold me?” she askedftlyftly. Her brain had a habit of
shutting down a bit when he did.
“Come to the living
room. The couch is a lot more fucking
comfortable than these chairs are.” When
he led her to the living room when she stood, he sat himself down on the couch first
before pulling her down so that she was curled up in his arms. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “How’s this?” he whispered into her hair.
“It’s nice,” she
murmured. it’s time to go.”
“I’ve got no
problem with that. Just don’t let me
fall asleep again.”
“You slept?”
“Apparently. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> It doesn’t feel like it was very long though. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I still feel like shit. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Kitty apparently got Sands to sleep for
awhile. I don’t know how. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I sure as fuck don’t want to,” he said softly.
“Mmm. . .”
“You can if you
want to though. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I won’t let you miss your appointment.”
“We’ll need to
leave by
“Then just fucking
relax for awhile. There’s nowhere we
have to be right now.”
“Alright. . .”
“Did you . . . do
you want to hear about the dream?” he asked softly. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He didn’t know what had made him offer, but he
had and he wouldn’t back down if she said yes.
“If you want to
tell me. But I’m not going to push.”
“It’s ok. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Maybe I need to. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I’ll give you the grim but quick overview,” he
said slowly before taking a breath. “Cops
fucking came, shot kitty, shot you, locked me up in a fucking institution. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I fucking woke up before I managed to kill
myself.”
“I suspected it was
something like that,” she murmured, soft comfort in her voice.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “My fault, I suppose.”
“Why do you say
that?” Jeffrey asked with a frown. “It
isn’t.”
“Who turned on the
TV last night?”
“You didn’t know,
vixen. And it’s certainly not your
fucking fault. You didn’t turn me in. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You’re not the one who ran that fucking
segment last night. It’s not your
fucking fault. It’s those bastards’ if
it’s anybody’s.”
“If I hadn’t turned
on the TV, you wouldn’t have seen it.”
“I still would have
had the fucking nightmare sooner or later, vixen. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Even without the fucking TV. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> It’ sty style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>not
your fucking fault.”
Salida let the
conversation rest after that, stirring only when a car outside the house
honked. “That would be the taxi.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I suppose we ought to let Grant know it’s
time to go.”
“It’s not your
fucking fault,” Jeffrey repeated softly, but let her get up off his lap so she
could stand.
“You can stop
saying that,” she said, her voice equally as soft.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> For the moment she was calm.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She didn’t think it would last, but it was
better than nothing. “Be right back.”
A few minutes later
she returned with Grant following behind.
No one spoke as they left the house and climbed into the taxi.
“I assume we’re
going to a doctor’s appointment of some kind?” Sands asked slowly, coming awake
and noticing that they were all jammed into a taxi and in the midst of driving
somewhere.
“Depends on who you
ask,” Salida murmured. “But the short
answer would be ‘yes.’”
“Vixen’s is at
is at
return.
“Oh. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Ok,” Sands said slowly, not knowing what else
to say. The tension inside the small
taxi was almost thick enough to see. While
taxi drivers were normally a verbose kind, this one hadn’t said a word save to
ask for their destination.
“I don’t know how
long mine is going to take,” Salida admitted, looking out the window.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “But I suppose that it’d just be best for us
to all meet up at the same place.”
Aida nodded.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “I’ll just wait at my clinic.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> It’s got a comfortable waiting area.”
Sands had the grace
to look slightly guilty at the relief he felt that Jeffrey would be at Salida’s
appointment and that he wouldn’t necessarily have to go to Aida’s. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He hadn’t wanted to go. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He wouldn’t have told her as such, and he
would have gone anyway for her, but he didn’t want to go.
“We’ll fucking meet
you there then,” Jeffrey said, looking out the window as the cab came to a stop
and gesturing for Aida on his right to open the door to the street so he and
Salida could get out. It had been
somewhat awkward to ride pressed between the two of them, but it ht bet been
his choice.
“Alright. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Umm . . . can I say something to Sands really
quick?”
Jeffrey turned to
Salida. “I’ll meet you inside. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I won’t be long, promise.” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He then turned back to Aida after Salida had
shrugged and headed towards the building where her appointment was. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Say your piece, kitty. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Just don’t take too fucking long,” he
muttered, and then left.
Sands looked at her
expectantly, half-dreading what she was going to say.
Aida took her
husband’s hand in her, and very quietly whispered, “I’m going to be fine.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I’ll see you in a few hours at the most.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> And I was thinking that we’d make lasagna for
dinner.”
“Alright. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> If that’s what you want,” Sands said with a
small smile. He wouldn’t say that he
knew she’d be alright because he didn’t. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He felt as if he didn’t know anything anymore.
It was unsettling and more than a little
depressing.
“Now, gimme a kiss
before you go.” She tilted her face up
to his and waited for him to make the first move.
Sands hesitated for
a long minute before giving her a chaste kiss on the forehead. st'mso'mso-spacerun:yes'> The knowledge that he was kissing about where
she told him her tumor was occurred to him as he was pulling away and he
struggled not to react. “I’ll be back
soon,” he said, forcing his voice to be calm.
“I know.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She kissed his cheek then let go of his
hand. “I’ll be waiting.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Without another word, she turned and went
inside.
When she was out of
sight he allowed himself to tremble a bit before giving up control to Jeffrey
and burying himself deep within their shared mind.
Jeffrey frowned at
Sands’ actions before looking around his surroundings. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Aida wasn’t standing in front of him any
longer so he figured that she had said whatever she had wanted to say. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He shrugged slightly and turned and headed in
to find his wife.
******************************style='mso-spacerun:yes'> ***
******************************
“What’s the doctor’s name again?”
“Osborne,” Salida
replied absently as she paced back and forth.
Once again she was in a hospital gown, and she didn’t like it.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> It made her feel vulnerable.
“You’re making me
dizzy,” Jeffrey said wryly, standing to intercept her pacing. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “And you’re taking my job. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Or are we both supposed to be fucking nervous
and pacing in this instance?” He was
trying very hard to stay calm for her to keep her from getting nervous. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Either he was doing a fucking awful job, or
else she didn’t notice. “Everything will
be fine,” he tried to assure her.
“I don’t like the
room,” she muttered. True to Aida’s
prediction, it was completely decorated in soft pastels and lacy frills.
“Me either. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Too much fucking . . . girlyness,”
he muttered with a frown. “And I don’t
like the fucking colors. It looks like a
fucking Care Bear exploded. And no, you
don’t get to fucking ask how I know what a Care Bear is,” he muttered.
“I don’t know what
one is, and I don’t care.” She moved
around him, glared at a pillow, and then paced back.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Why do they keep you waiting?style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I don’t understand.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She knew we were coming.”
“I can’t fucking
answer that. All I know is that it's
like that with every fucking doctor’s office – it doesn’t matter what kind of
doctor it is – in the fucking world. The
examination room or whatever the fuck they call it is just a second fucking
waiting room. Don’t let it get to you. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> The doctor will fucking be here soon. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> And if not, I can always go looking for them
and drag someone back to see you.”
“No.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> That’s alright.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> With a sigh of frustration, Salida came up
and rested her head against his shoulder.
“Everything’s going to be good, right?”
“Everything’s going
to be fucking perfect, vixen. How could
it not be? Don’t fucking worry,” he
whispered, pulling her close and rubbing his right hand through her hair in
what was meant to be a calming manner.
She didn’t
answer. She just let her husband calm
her down. At about the time she was
feeling balanced again, there was a sharp rap on the door, and then it opened.
A tall woman with
graying blond hair stood in the doorway.
“Salida and Jeffrey?”
Jeffrey sighed as
he felt Salida tense again, looked over to the person standing in the doorway,
and nodded. “Yes, that’s us.” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He refrained himself from saying anything
along the lines of “About fucking time,”
or “What took you so long you fucking
quack?” Such comments probably wouldn’t
have been fucking appreciated.
“I’m Dr. Osborne.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> The woman came forward with an out-stretched
hand. Salida shook it gingerly from the
shelter of her husband’s arms, before pulling her arm back.
Seeing that Salida
wasn’t doing anything to move away from him, Jeffrey didn’t move away from her
either. He simply nodded to the doctor
in greeting and continued holding his wife. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> When she wanted to move away from him he’d let
go, but for now he was content to simply hold her for as long as she wanted.
Fortunately, the
doctor had seen this kind of behavior before.
“Let me guess, first time parents.”
She set her clipboard on a nearby table and crossed her arms.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “And probably unintentional ones at that.”
“Yes, that’s
correct,” Jeffrey supplied, his words clipped and even. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Having the doctor assume such things about he
and Salida annoyed him. It didn’t matter
that she was right, he didn’t like people guessing his intentions. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> It put him on edge.
“Well . . . any
questions for me, or do you just want to get on with the examination?”
Jeffrey and Salida
exchanged glances, and while she shook her head, her eyes seemed to be asking
him for more time.
“What exactly are
you going to do?” Jeffrey asked somewhat warily, both answering Salida’s
unasked need and genuinely wanting to know.
“Well, first I’m
going to take blood pressure and temperature readings since we’ve got a nurse
out sick today. And after that, we’ll do
an ultrasound to figure out how far along you are.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> From there I’ll be able to tell you more.”
“How does the
ultrasound work?” he asked, again genuinely curious.
“Well, it works
basically like sonar on a submarine. The
machine produces high frequency sound waves, and I have a wand that allows me
to move them around. The sound waves
bounce back when they hit something, and for a picture on the monitor.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Think of it as having a bat squeak at your stomach
to find out how your baby is.”
That description
actually made Salida smile, albeit it was a small smile.
Jeffrey blinked at
that, silently amazed. “Uh, what else
will you be able to tell us with that?”
“Well, how long you’ve
been pregnant, and gender if the pregnancy is far enough along. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I can search for any anomalies in the heart.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I can make sure that everything in the uterus
is developing properly . . . just things like that.”
“Oh.” Jeffrey
struggled not to make a face any of that. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> None of which applied to him. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Except perhaps the part about the gender. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> That he wanted to know.
“Heart defects?”
Salida asked softly.
“Well, that’s more
to be expected in the case of multiples, and some might even . . . fix
themselves before birth, but there are some cases where babies can be born with
a hole in their heart. If we know ahead
of time, they can be taken straight to surgery to get it repaired.”
Such talk worried
Jeffrey, but he tried to not let it affect him. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He was utterly convinced that his kid,
whatever it may turn out to be, would be perfect. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Sure, it had a good chance of going just as
insane as its parents, but he tried not to think about that too much. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Multiples? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> What does that mean? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You mean like more than one baby, right?” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Such a thought hadn’t occurred to him – that
Salida might be having twins. “What are
the chances of that?”
“Let’s see. . .”
she looked at Salida’s chart. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “This says that you haven’t been on fertility
drugs, and there’s no history of twins in your families.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She looked up for confirmation, at which
Jeffrey nodded. “Well, then I’d say the
chances of a multiple pregnancy are relatively low.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Say one in twenty.”
“Oh. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Well, that’s good I suppose. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> There’s less chance of heart problems then,
right? If there’s just one baby?” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He couldn’t help himself from asking. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He was determined to keep up his belief that
their child would be perfect, but it was getting harder the more he learned.
“That’s
correct. Much less than one in twenty.”
Jeffrey nodded. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Is there anything else we should know?” he
asked somewhat cautiously.
“Why don’t we get
the rest of it out of the way before be continue,” the doctor suggested gently.
“The rest of what?”
Jeffrey asked, giving Salida a look to ask if she was ready. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> If she wasn’t, that was fine. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He wouldn’t push her into doing what she didn’t
want to.
Salida nodded as
Dr. Osborne went on to say, “Before we go about settling the rest of your
paternal fears. It’s perfectly natural
to be a little uneasy, but believe it or not, an ultrasound can help.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Especially if you get to see the baby.”
Salida gently
detached herself from her husband and went to sit on the examination
table. She held herself a little
rigidly, but she appeared to be calm enough.
Jeffrey gave her a
considering look before turning to the doctor. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “How long do you think this will take? style='mso-spacerun:yes'spanspan>I just want to know. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I don’t plan to go anywhere.” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He said the last with a bit of force, not
knowing whether or not the doctor intended him to stay. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> If she didn’t, they would have to fucking talk
because he wasn’t planning on leaving.
“The
ultrasound? No more than twenty
minutes. And there’s no reason for you
to leave unless your wife would prefer it.”
Dr. Osborne pulled a stool over to the table and took a seat by her
timid patient. “How are you feeling,
Salida?”
Salida
shrugged. “Depends on when you ask.”
“Ah . . . hormones.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I remember that.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I’ve got three children and I’m afraid my
husband suffered for each one.” With
gentle hands the doctor took Salida’s blood pressure and temperature.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Dr. LaCroix said
that this pregnancy came as quite a surprise.”
Salida knew that
Jeffrey was hovering, but she could also tell that Dr. Osborne was talking
specifically to her. “I umm . . . another
doctor, back home, told me I couldn’t have children.”
“That would explain
it then. How are you handling things?”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She jotted down a few notes for her file.
“Better.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Than I was.
For awhile I didn’t think I was ready for children. But I’ve . . . reconsidered.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She looked up at Jeffrey.
Jeffrey just looked
back at her, not knowing what to say. He
wanted to be happy that she was coming to accept and embrace the notion that
she was pregnant, but a nasty little voice whispered that it wouldn’t last. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He settled on giving her a reassuring smile.
She smiled back,
then looked at the doctor again. “I
think Jeffrey might reconsider too if I can’t stop being so . . .”
“Bitchy?”
Salida
laughed. “That would probably be
accurate.”
Jeffrey knew that
if he had called Salida bitchy he would have either gotten yelled at or
slapped. That Salida had laughed when
the doctor had said it annoyed him. He
wisely kept his mouth shut on such thoughts though.
“Well, now that you’re
a tad bit relaxed . . .” Salida
immediately tensed at the doctor’s words.
“Then again. . .” Dr. Osborne
looked around the room and found Jeffrey.
“Why don’t you come comfort your wife while I run the ultrasound?”
Jeffrey didn’t like
being told what to do concerning his
wife, but for the most part he agreed with the doctor on this count and moved
to do as he was told. He didn’t say a
word, he merely took one of Salida’s hands within his grasp and looked into her
eyes. The intense gaze he was met with
almost made him falter. “You’re doing it
again,” he muttered under his breath fondly.
“Panicking?” she
asked softly, squeezing his hand as if it were a lifeline.
“Well yeah, a
fucking little, but what I meant was you’re fucking drowning me again.” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed
her fingertips. “There’s nothing to
fucking worry about, vixen. You’ll be
fucking fine.”
“You’re going to
have to stop that,” she murmured, leaning back at the doctor’s direction.
“Stop what, vixen?”
“Cursing. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I don’t want our kid to do it.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She held on even tighter as the doctor raised
her gown to get to her belly.
“But. . .” Jeffrey
frowned as if she had just asked him to cut off a finger and hand it to her. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “I can’t,” he tried to reason with her.
“And I can’t get
pregnant.” Her eyes begged him to
consider it.
Jeffrey wanted to
whine and complain that she was being unfair – asking him to do something he
couldn’t – but he couldn’t turn away from those fucking blue eyes. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “I’ll fu . . . I’ll try,” he said slowly.
Dr. Osborne hated
to interrupt, but she had to. “Okay, I’m
going to apply the gel now. This might
be a little cold, Salida.”
The woman in
questions hissed, sure that “a little cold” had been an understatement, but she
didn’t complain.
Jeffrey just stood
by her side, holding her hand and watching the movements of the doctor,
silently enthralled. All of this was so
fascinating to him that he was at a loss for words. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He had never imagined that he'd be in this
position with a woman he loved, watching and waiting for news on their child. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> On his child. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Such a thought seemed determined to knock him
off his feet in awe. He could tell
Salida didn’t quite share his enthusiasm, but that didn’t matter. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He was determined to wear her down. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> To get her to take such joy in such little
things as the knowledge that their was another person, their child, kept safe
within her. One created by the love of
the two of them. He found it all nothing
short of incredible and he knew whatever happened, that he would protect the
child and its mother with his very life if need be.
The soft class=SpellE>wooshing sound of an ultrasound machine filled the
room. Salida laid back and watched the
ceiling, certain that if something was wrong, either the doctor would say something,
or Jeffrey wouldn’t be able to hide his reaction.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> For some reason, she was certain that the
doctor was going to find something . . . unusual.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She didn’t know if that was good or bad.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Just that she wasn’t ready.
The doctor had her
eyes fixed on the small screen. There
was nothing much to see, just spots and blotches of grey on a black field, but
she seemed to be seeing things she liked.
“Placenta looks
good. . .” she murmured. “Uterus a
little bigger than I suspected . . . how much weight have you gained, Salida?”
“I don’t
know. About ten pounds, give or take.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Salida swallowed hard and looked up at her
husband.
“And you don't have
any idea about when you may have gotten pregnant?”
“No.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Not really.”
“Hmm. . .”
Jeffrey was getting
to the point where he wanted to strangle the doctor in front of him. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She was so close. . . style='mso-spacerun:yes'> If she would just tell them what the fuck was
the matter then he could stop fucking worrying and look to reassuring Salida
again. “What’s ‘hmm’ mean, doctor?”
Jeffrey asked, keeping his voice even. “What
do you see?” The fuzzy black and white
picture didn’t make much sense to him. He
was relying on the too slow doctor to interpret it. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He just wished she would hurry the fuck up.
“Nothing.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Just that the size of the uterus makes me
think that the pregnancy has progressed more than I thought it had.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She paused for a moment, then twitched her
wand to the side. “And there we go.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Say hello to junior, daddy.”"
Jeffrey didn’t know
what to say. His throat had gone utterly
dry and he was sure he was gaping like a fish. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He looked down at Salida, utter wonderment
clear on his face. He looked at her as
if he couldn’t fathom her existence; he couldn’t understand how she was able to
create something such as this. He still
couldn’t make heads or tails of the blurred image he was seeing, but that didn’t
matter. Whatever annoyances he had had
against the doctor faded as soon as she had said those slightly patronizing – at
least they sounded that way – words.
“There’s less to
see than I was expecting . . . I’d say you’re only into week seven.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> The doctor took a break from her screen to
fix a stern look on Salida. “Have you
been trying to loose weight?” Salida had
the grace to blush, but she didn’t say anything.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “You need to eat more.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I don’t care if you get sick, you need to
gain some weight.”
“She will, don’t
worry.” Jeffrey wouldn’t exactly force
her to eat more, but he wouldn’t let her waste away into nothing either. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He would keep his vow and protect her from
herself if need be. “What do you mean
there’s more to see than you were expecting?” Jeffrey asked with a slight
frown. He also wanted to ask about the
seven weeks, but he figured he and Salida could talk about that later.
“The uterus is big
enough to make me think that the baby would be older,” the doctor murmured as
she moved her wand again. “It’s nothing
to worry about . . . and here we go. And
here we go again.” Osborne’s eyebrows
nearly rose into her hairline.
“What? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> What is it? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> What’s wrong?” Jeffrey asked, trying to keep
his voice calm with difficulty. Dr.
Osborne didn’t exactly look worried, but something she had seen had surprised
her, and Jeffrey needed to fucking know what that something was. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He held Salida’s hand tightly as he asked.
“I’m not going to
stake my career on what might be a fetal echo, but at the moment it looks like
you might need a bigger nursery. I’m
getting three heartbeats.”
Salida turned to
stone, her nails digging into Jeffrey’s hand.
“Wh-what?”
“Triplets.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Like I said, I can’t be certain, not yet, but.
. .”
She didn’t hear the
rest of what the doctor had to say. By
this point, Salida was simply concentrating on still breathing.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> The rest of the room went dim, and the only
things that were real was the pounding in her ears, and the sound of her breath
rushing through her lungs.
Jeffrey’s hand
stung like a motherfucker, but he paid it no mind. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Are you sure?” he asked the doctor more
calmly than he currently felt. “I mean,
you said you couldn’t be sure, but is that what you really heard? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Three heartbeats? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Three babies? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Triplets?” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He was pretty much running on autopilot here,
but someone had to and it didn’t look like it was going to be Salida. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He gripped her hand in tight reassurance,
feeling his blood where her nails had dug into her skin stick her skin.
“I think it’s what
I’m getting, but to be sure I’m going to have to simply track your progress . .
. but I wouldn’t be surprised. There’s
other factors that suggest I’m getting an accurate reading.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Very gently, she used a Handi-wipe
to clean Salida’s stomach, then pulled down her gown.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Let me get your wife’s attention, and then
we’ll talk.” Reaching into a cabinet,
she pulled a small vial and waved it under Salida’s nose.
Whatever was in it –
smelling salts – was enough to make her cough and splutter, and come back to
the waking world. As if aware of how
tight her grip was, she let go of Jeffrey’s hand and slowly sat up.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Watching the room’s other occupants, she
backed up until she hit the wall, and then she curled around herself.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “What?” she asked sullenly.
Jeffrey just let
the blood make its way back to his throbbing hand and didn’y a y a word,
watching Salida watch the doctor.
“How are you feel–”
“How do you think I’m
feeling?” Salida said flatly. “I wasn’t
even supposed to be able to get pregnant.”
“Don’t,” Jeffrey
said softly. He didn’t have the right
nor the will to say anything more.
“Don’t what?style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Don’t object to the fact that this pregnancy
is getting more and more dangerous by the minute?style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I’d just adjusted to one child.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Now I can’t panic when I learn there’s style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>three?”
At some point during this, Dr. Osborne had slipped out the door to give
the couple some privacy, and both were glad of it.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Or would been when they noticed.
“I’m fucking sorry,
alright? Is that what you want to hear? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I’m fucking sorry you got pregnant. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I’m sorry you never wanted a kid and I do. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I’m sorry that there’s fucking two more added
to the fucking mix than just the one. Panic
all you fucking want. I don’t –” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He cut himself off. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He had been about to say that he didn’t care
anymore, but that would have been a lie. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He cared. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Now more than anything. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> But he couldn’t make her do the same. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He couldn’t make her care about the children
she so obviously didn’t want. He couldn’t
make her care about anything. Only she
could do that and he was tired of trying to fucking convince her. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He couldn’t fucking do everything. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He just couldn’t.
His harsh tone and
his sudden stop sent a spear of ice through her heart.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “You don’t care?” she asked in a trembling
voice. “Jeffrey . . . I’m
terrified. I’m not saying I want an
abortion . . . just that . . . I’m scared witless.”
“You think I’m not?”
he asked, his demeanor softening a little. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “I’m fucking scared out of my mind almost
every day with thoughts of something happening to you, vixen. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Only now, I get to worry about the babies
inside of you as well. What’s fucking
worse is that I feel helpless to do anything to help you. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> That nothing I do will ever be enough. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> The dream . . . that could happen at any
moment, Salida. In exactly the same way
I imagined. I can’t-I can’t stand the
thought of something happening to you. It
leaves me feeling small and fucking alone and I don’t like feeling that way,
vixen. I fucking hate it. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> But I deal with it. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I rely on your strength to reassure me that I’m
being a fool. That you would never let
anything happen. Why can’t you do the
same?” His voice softened now to an
almost whisper. “Why can’t you trust
that I would die before I ever let anything happen to you? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> That I would fucking fight to keep you safe no
matter what? I would.” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> It hurt that she didn’t rely on his strength
as he did for her. She sometimes seemed
to, and yet it was at moments like these that he doubted. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “I would never let anything happen to you,” he
repeated softly.
“You would die . .
. don’t you see? Before, if you died, I
could follow you with a clear conscience.
What do I have now? Twenty years
of being alone before I could leave without feeling you’d be disappointed in
me? What makes you think I could live
that long without you? I did once, and
hey, it made me insane. Literally. I can’t do it again . . . but I would have
to. Jeffrey, you can’t die. No matter
what. You can’t leave me to do this
alone.” Salida was crying by this point.
“I won’t, vixen. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I wouldn’t. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> But you can’t fucking leave me either. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Savvy?” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He wasn’t crying as he moved across the room,
needing to touch her in the least, but he was as fucking close as he’d ever
get. “I could never leave you, Salida. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I love you too fucking much for that to even
be fucking possible.” Emotion choked his
voice, but he managed to speak his peace well enough. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “The only way we’re going to get through this
is together. I fucking understand that. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I won’t leave you, vixen. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I promise. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> And I’m a man of my fucking word.”
“I know.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I know you are,” she whispered, burying her
head in his chest. “But no more talk of
dying anyway.”
“I’m sorry,” he
said leaning his head down to rest on top of hers, holding her tightly as if he
never wanted to let go again. “I won’t. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I just . . . I can’t let anything happen to
you.” His voice grew thick again and he
had trouble getting the words out. “I
just can’t.”
“I meant you . . .”
she breathed, a trace of humor in her voice.
“No more talk of you dying.”
“I’m not going to
fucking die, vixen. There’s far too many
fucking things keeping me here for that to be any fucking fun.”
“Alright.”
“Are you . . . ok
vixen?” he asked softly after a few minutes of complete silence.
“Honestly?style='mso-spacerun:yes'> No, I don’t think so.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> But I’m . . . I’m grounded.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> We should call the doctor back in.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You probably have all sorts of questions.”
“I-I don’t know
what to ask,” he admitted with a slight frown, trying to put aside her response
to his question for now. She had
somewhat of a right to feel a little out of it after that kind of news. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He was still reeling a bit himself. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Triplets.
Holy fuck. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Didn’t see that fucking coming. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He felt a certain bit of purely male pride at
the fact of getting three kids on the first try, but he didn’t make this known
to Salida. She probably wouldn’t
appreciate it the way he did.
“Then lets just get
out of here. Questions can wait until
next time. I want to get out of this
room. I want to be home.”
“Alright. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Whatever you fucking want, vixen. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You want to go, we’ll go.” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He gently brushed a slightly bloodied hand
through her hair before pulling away from her. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Come on, let’s go find that fucking doctor
and get the hell out of here.”
“Just let me change
into my shirt.” She was back in her
street clothes in almost less time than it took to say she needed to
change. Still gripping her husband’s
hand – albeit, not so tightly – she walked to the door with him.
They were
intercepted by the doctor on their way out of the door. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “We’re leaving. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I’ll save any questions I might have for next
time, doctor. Thanks,” Jeffrey said
slowly.
“I understand.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> But I’d like you to come in again next
week. That’s the norm for parents of
multiples; weekly check-ups.”
“Alright. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> We’ll call your office to arrange a time. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Until then, Dr. Osborne,” Jeffrey said with a
nod, determined to get past this woman.
“Thank you,” Salida
murmured as she pushed Jeffrey out the door.
It seemed like the walls of the room were closing in on her and she
wanted to get out. She needed sunshine.
“If you want to
stay out here, I’ll go and get kitty and meet you.”
They were on the
street, and Salida shuddered at even the thought of going inside again.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Yes.
I want to stay out here.” There
was a bench nearby that she could sit and bask on.
Jeffrey nodded. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “I’ll be right back. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Don’t run off to commune with the fucking
sunshine or anything,” he said with a small smile.
“The sun comes to
me,” she murmured, already gravitating towards the bench.
“That it does,”
Jeffrey responded in kind, watching her soakthe the sun for a few brief moments
before taking a breath and making his way into the oncology clinic to find
Aida. He’d handed control back to Sands
the moment he’d stepped inside, trusting the other man to be able to deal with
a fucking waiting room all by himself. But
he didn’t leave as much as he might have wanted to. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He knew it wouldn’t be long before they were
back outside with his sun loving wife and he wanted to be there.
“Spitfire? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Are you alright? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> How’d it go?” Sands asked softly upon coming
to stand in front of her chair in the brightly lit waiting room.
“The exact same way
its gone every other time I’ve done this, with the exception that this time I
got a special guest lecture about the recklessness of skipping treatments.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Aida held out her hands so Sands could pull
her to her feet. “And something tells me
that you wouldn’t have wanted to hear that.”
“No, it wouldn’t
have been something I would have willingly attended. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Sorry you were subjected to it,” Sands said,
pulling her to her feet and moving to stand beside her. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Ready to go? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I assume we’re leaving because I’m here to get
you.”
“Vixen’s waiting
outside for us,” Jeffrey added.
“Can we stop and
get a few groceries? I’m not sure we
have everything I need to make dinner.”
“You’re welcome to
fucking go back out, but I think vixen just wanted to get home. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Ask her. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> It’s not fucking up to me,” Jeffrey said with
a slight shrug.
Salida’s answer was
an indecipherable murmur that showed she didn’t care.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Promising to be quick, Aidok Sok Sands to buy
what she needed, and returned before a quarter of an hour had passed.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> The three then climbed into a taxi and went
home.
******************************style='mso-spacerun:yes'> ***
******************************
“Did you even listen to what that fucking doctor had to say?
Vixen, you have to come inside and
fucking eat something. You can’t lay out
here in the hammock until you fucking fade away. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I thought we’d been over this. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I won’t let you.” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Jeffrey said sternly, coming to stand in front
of her as she lay suspended in the debauched hammock.
“I heard.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> And I’ll eat.
Just not now. I don’t want to sit
down at that kitchen table and pretend that everything is just peachy-keen.”
“Everything’s not. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I agree with you. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> No one’s fucking asking you to pretend that. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> But you can’t fucking hide out here, vixen. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Kitty’s the fucking nosy type. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She’s going to start bugging you about what
happened sooner or later. Come inside
and eat with me. Please.”
“I don’t want
Italian.”
“Then have whatever
you want. Make whatever you want. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Order a pizza. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I don’t care. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Just come inside.”
“How likely is it
that you’ll give up if I refuse for long enough?”
“Let’s just say the
odds are not in your fucking favor, vixen.”
She sigheut
ut
climbed out of the hammock. “I’m doing
this under protest,” she muttered as she let him lead her into the house.
“Just as long as
you’re doing it,” Jeffrey muttered in return.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>Bastard.
Immediately, she forced herself to feel regretful for the remark,
reminding herself that Jeffrey was only looking after her best interests and
the interest of their child . . . children . . . but it didn’t really help.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She still resented the fact that she was
practically being frog-hopped into the house.
“What would you
like to eat, vixen?” he asked, watching her take a seat at the table, and air
of sulkiness surrounding her. He paid it
no mind for the time being.
“A salad will be
fine. With crumbled tortilla chips and
salsa.” She ignored Aida as much as she
could, but since the other woman was still in the kitchen getting out
silverware, it wasn’t very effective.
“Anything else?” he
pressed, remembering the doctor’s order for her to put on more weight.
“Later.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> When I won’t have to risk running into people
while I make it.”
Jeffrey sighed but
nodded and went to make up her salad. He
was thankful at least that she wanted something simple enough that he knew how
to make. After a few minutes he set the
completed product in front of her and took a seat by her side. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Up to spec?” he asked, gesturing to her
salad.
“Its fine,” she
murmured. “Thank you.”
Aida appeared
before the conversation could get anymore stilted, a pan of lasagna in her
oven-mitted hands.
She set it down on a hot pad, then went back to get the plates and
forks. She sat down in her seat and
handed a fork to Jeffrey. “Are the two
of you eating?”
“I guess I am, but
vixen’s not,” he said, taking the fork from Aida and shifting it awkwardly to
Sands’ hand.
“Well it looks edible
at least. Not going to poison anyone
yet,” Sands muttered under his breath after scooping himself up a large piece
of lasagna.
They ate in silence
– mostly due to Salida’s disgruntled presence.
Sands watched as Aida picked at her food, and while he knew she didn’t
eat much lately, he couldn’t help but believe that Salida was discouraging
everyone’s digestion.
“What’s wrong,
sunrise?” he muttered under his breath. “Regretting
talking some sense into me this morning?”
That was the
opening Salida had been waiting for. “Perhaps.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> And for your information, Sands, I’m not just
having a baby. I’m having triplets.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> In the stunned silence that followed that
declaration, she calmly stood and left the table.
Sands’ fork
clattered to the table after bouncing off the edge of the plate with ease, his
hand having gone completely limp. He
could feel his face go slack in shock as he tried to process what she had just
said. She couldn’t have. She didn’t. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Did she? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He looked to Aida for confirmation, needing a
brace in the fucking storm his mind had begun to whirl around in. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “She didn’t –”
“She did,” Aida
murmured, setting down her own fork in silent counterpoint to Sands.
“She didn’t,” Sands
repeated, trying to make himself believe it despite Aida’s words. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> This couldn’t be happening. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He didn’t know how he felt about style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>one fucking kid that by blood if not by
intent was his let alone fucking three.
He placed a hand to his head in a vain
attempt to get his thoughts to settle down and line up coherently once more. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Aida had been saying . . . something, and he
had missed it entirely.
“I think . . . I
think she was waiting for that. She was
waiting for an opportunity to lash out.”
“It would seem so,”
Sands responded blankly. “She did a pretty
fucking thorough job.” There. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He could manage somewhat coherent thoughts if
he tried. He could deal with this. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> It would just take a little time. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Hell, it’d probably take a lot of time, but he
was feeling curiously optimistic for some sadistic reason. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> It would no doubt pass soon.
“Are you alright?”
Aida asked softly, noting Sands’ pale skin.
“No, I’m not
fucking alright. I’m fucking pissed off.”
See, there the optimism had passed
unmourned. He rose from his chair, his
face stormy.
Salida was pacing
in the entryway. The moment she heard
footsteps coming close, she spun, clearly ready for a fight.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Eager for a fight even.
“You are a fucking
inconsiderate bitch who needs to be taught a few fucking lessons,” Sands
yelled, his anger like fire licking through his veins for a change. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He was used to feeling a cold pitiless anger
of someone who know that they’d carefully plan and enjoy their revenge. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> This was different. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> This was passionate and impulsive, and bright.
He was fucking pissed.
“And you’re the man
to do it?” Salida’s voice was cold,
mocking, and deliberate. She wanted
this. She wanted to have an all out
fight with someone, and she’d rather it not be with her husband.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> There was only so much he’d take, and she
didn’t want to find the limit.
“It would fucking
seem so. Your fucking husband doesn’t
seem to be stopping me, so I’m all yours, bitch. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You have no fucking right to do what you just
fucking did. It was fucking rude,
inconsiderate, selfish . . . it was fucking something I should have known you’d
do. You don’t fucking care about anyone
but yourself. You are the most
self-centered brat I have ever known. I
have no fucking idea how Jeffrey can fucking stand you.”
His words hit her
with the force of arrows. Each impacted
flesh and bone and made her bleed, but she’d be damned before she let Sands see
that. “I don’t think you’ve got the
moral superiority to be slinging mud,”
she hissed. “Who was it that just this
morning told his wife that he fucking hated her because it’d make style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>him feel better if she were gone.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Oh . . . that was you.”
Sands actually
lad atd at that. “I can’t believe you. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Perhaps I was fucking wrong. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> See, here I thought you were self-centered,
but now all you want to talk about is people other than yourself. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You want to stick your nose where it doesn’t
fucking belong. Maybe you’re just
self-deluded, I’m not entirely sure. Oh,
and don’t try and tell me you haven’t said some pretty nasty fucking things to
Jeffrey in one of your little snits lately
because I fucking know better. Oh and
hey, let us not forget. I haven’t
actually tried to kill my spouse yet.
You can’t exactly say the same. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> But you didn’t manage to kill him then, and
yet you keep trying. Each stinging word
from you about the fucking litter you have inside of you kills him just a
little bit more. Did you fucking know
that? I bet you didn’t. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Because he wouldn’t have told you. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He would have stood up and bared it because he
fucking loves you. You’re both deluded,”
Sands finished with a snort. He didn’t
care that he was defending Jeffrey, he only cared about attacking Salida.
She just stared at
him for a long moment, her breath coming fast and hard in her lungs, and then
she acted. She scooped up a nearby vase
of flowers and hurled it at his head.
How dare he?style='mso-spacerun:yes'> normal'>dare he? style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>She stuck her nose in where it wasn’t
wanted? The entire fucking style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>block had heard his disagreement with
Aida. And where did he find the audacity
to rub her nose in Jeffrey?style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She knew her own husband.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She knew him.
She knew . . . she knew Sands was right, damn his eyes.
Sands ducked the
vase easily, but she had words waiting for him.
“Deluded’s better than a fucking mama’s boy
who’s always whining about how life isn’t fair.”
Sands went very,
very still, but inside he was boiling. “Oh,
is that what I do? Tell me, Salida. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> What was your family like? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I can’t remember you ever having mentioned
them. Why ever not? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Didn’t they care? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Oh wait, you probably don’t even have a family
do you? Tess does, but not poor little Salida. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She doesn’t exist. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Never has. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She’s not even real. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She’s just a figment of some fractured mind. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You’re fucking nothing to me but an annoyance,
and I’m more than fucking tired with putting up with your bullshit.” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He took a step toward her. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “You need to be instructed. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I’ve let your indiscretions slide for too
long, Salida. I’ve fucking had enough.” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He took another step toward her, prepared to
chase after her should she run.
“What’re you going
to do, Sands? Beat me?style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I’ve been beaten before.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You can’t do any worse.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She stood firm until he was a foot from her,
and then her arm shot out, knocking him off-balance.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She tried to run past him, but he recovered
faster than she could believe.
“No, you don’t deserve
a beating. There’s only one way to deal
with little girls who are too immature to know when to keep their fucking
mouths shut about things they needn’t be talking about.” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He grabbed her wrist hard and pulled her to
him as he moved into the living room and sat down on the couch, jerking her
across his lap. He then pulled his hand
back so that it was flat above her and let her have it. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He spanked her until his fucking hand hurt and
she kicked him hard in the shin and then he spanked her some more.
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> The only reason he eventually stopped was that
Des appeared out of nowhere and attacked him.
He dumped Salida to the floor in order to get the cat, but the cat was
too quick for him. She disappeared,
leaving behind four bloody furrows in Sands’ skin.
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “A fucking attack cat. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Now I’ve seen everything,” Sands muttered,
examining the bloody rents on his arms and right cheek. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Fuck,” he hissed, fingering one. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He then turned his attention away from
himself, and back to Salida, figuring she’d be out for a little revenge right
about now.
Salida was still on
the floor where she’d been dumped, but she slowly pulled herself to her
feet. She held herself rigid, and her
eyes showed equal parts madness, sanity, and ice.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Did I ever tell you that Tessa’s father runs
the biggest cartel in
discussing the weather.
“No. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> So? Who
the fuck cares?” Sands returned, his voice carrying the merest hint of wariness
in it.
She threw a pointed
glance towards the kitchen. “Just keep
in mind that I still know how to get a hold of them, and if you ever fucking
touch me again, you’ll regret it.” With
that she turned and walked out of the room.
Sands clenched and
unclenched his bloodied fist a few times slowly, envisioning all the ways he
could simply remove Salida from his life. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Sure, Jeffrey would kill him afterwards, but
his feelings right now would be that it would have been worth it. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He got up and moved into the dining room to
find Aida, needing to let her know he was at least still alive before he did
anything further.
She was standing at
the kitchen window, Aggie purring contentedly in her arms.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Her shoulders were slumped and her head bowed
low enough that the kitten could wash her nose with its tongue.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> When she heard Sands come into the room, she
quickly straightened, evenshe she didn’t immediately turn to face him.
“I’m not sure that
humiliating her was the best thing to do,” she murmured.
< sty style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “No, probably not,”
Sands muttered with a slight sigh. “But
she pissed me off.”
“So you spanked
her? Like a five-year-old?”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Aida turned to her husband, a sigh catching
in her throat when she saw his battle scars.
“Oh my god . . . which of the cats did that?”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Without waiting she ran a rag under cold
water and gave it to Sands.
“Yes I did. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Granted it wasn’t the best of ideas, but it
seemed like a good one at the time,” Sands muttered, accepting the rag from
her. “Sunrise’s fucking attack cat did
this,” he said with a wince as he wiped some of the blood off of his arms and
cheek. If his luck was running as per
usual, he’d have a few nice scars as a reminder not to fuck with Salida or her
cat.
Aida just sighed
and decided not to say anything else.
Instead she pulled Sands back to the table and sat in her seat.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> The least they could do was finish dinner
before things went to hell. Sooner or
later Jeffrey would appear and nothing after that would be pretty.
“Sorry to fucking
drag you into this, spitfire. I didn’t
honestly mean for things to go this way. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I just acted before I fucking thought. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I shouldn’t have done that to sunrise,” he
muttered, finishing off his plate of slightly cold lasagna. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “She was being a fucking bitch though. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She shouldn’t have – she shouldn’t have told
us what she found out like that.”
“I agree that she
perhaps . . . handled that poorly, but can you blame her?style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I thought you said she was insane?style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She’s obviously not dealing with any of this
well.”
“Yeah, she’s
insane. So fuckinat? at? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I’m
insane and you don’t see me acting like a fucking brat. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She had no right to do that. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I have every fucking right to blame her.”
“To blame her for
what?” Aida asked gently.
“For fucking
getting herself pregnant!” Sands yelled before he could stop himself.
“And she did that
by herself?” Aida asked, not wanting to do this, but determined to put an end
to it.
“Well I certainly
didn’t fucking do it!” Sands insisted, knowing how shaky that argument was, but
posing it anyway.
“But don’t you
think that if she knew she could get pregnant, she would have used any and all
contraceptives she could get hands on?”
“She should have
fucking known. She shouldn’t have
trusted the word of some cold fish bitch doctor that she couldn't get fucking
knocked up. She should have known.”
“But she didn’t.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Aida very carefully laid her hand on top of
Sands. “How long as she even been . . . umm,
like she is now?”
He shrugged, his
face stormy, and muttered, “A few months.”
“Then she’s a baby
in an adult’s body. Is there any wonder
that she’s strugg a l a little?”
“I don’t care. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Don’t ask me to feel fucking sorry for her
because I don’t. I couldn’t give a fuck
about her problems. She needed to be
fucking taken down a notch and that’s what I did. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I don’t know if it worked or not, but that’s
not my problem either.”
“I’m not asking you
to feel sorry for her. I know she said
things to hurt both of us, but especially you.
But I am asking you not to just blow up at her.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She already knows that what she’s doing is
wrong, and you’ll upset her more if you simply ignore her.”
Sands glowered, but
he couldn’t deny that Aida’s words made a kind of sense. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Fine.”
“Alright.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Then let’s try to enjoy our meal before style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>he comes out wondering where his wife
is.”
“It won’t be long,”
Sands said with a weary sigh, not wanting to have to deal with that.
“I know.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She squeezed his hand and got up to get a
glass of orange juice. She came back to
the table with it, but set it in the middle of the table.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> When Sands looked at her curiously, she
murmured, “For Salida. She should drink
more orange juice. It’s got a lot
nutrients in it.”
“What’s for Salida,
kitty?” Jeffrey asked with narrowed eyes. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> His arrival had been so abrupt that Sands hadn’t
even had time to warn her. Jeffrey’s
expression went stony when he saw the stinging scratches on his arms. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “What happened, Aida?” he asked, rising from
his seat at the table and moving over to stand in front of her.
“Your wife’s cat
got a little out of hand,” she replied calmly.
“And the orange juice is for Salida.
It’s got vitamin C, calcium, potassium, and all sorts of things Salida
should be taking.”
“Should have known.
Fucking demon cat,” Jeffrey muttered
under his breath before picking up the glass of juice from the table. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He nodded his thanks to her before asking, “Where's
vixen?”
“Umm . . . in her
room I think.”
“Fine.” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Jeffrey turned and made his way out of the
dining room and up the stairs to find his wife, the glass of orange juice in
hand. “Vixen?” he called out gently upon
sticking his head into their bedroom.
The room was dark;
the curtains had been drawn and no lights had been turned on.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> But it wasn’t dark enough to hide that all
the blankets had been ripped off the bed and thrown around the room.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Clothes had been flung every which way, and
anything that had been on the walls had been carefully taken off and put back
upside down. Salida was nowhere e
se
seen.
“Vixen?” Jeffrey
called out, a cold wave of fear piercing his chest. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Where are you, vixen? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> What the fuck is going on?” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> There was no answer. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Jeffrey began to search the bedroom
frantically, the glass of orange juice falling unnoticed from his limp hand as
he didn’t find her. “No, what –? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You can’t. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Vixen? Where
are you?” Once he was determined that
she wasn't in the bedroom or the bathroom – he left a wave of destruction as he
searched every possible corner – he moved down the hall into the class=SpellE>rec room, didn’t find her, and moved into Sands and kitty’s
room. He tore it apart looking for her,
but she was no where e see seen. Wherever
she was, it wasn’t here. She had left. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> This can’t
be happening. Why would she leave? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> What the fuck happened? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Why wasn’t I here? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Why didn’t she talk to me? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Why did she leave? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Where the fuck did she go? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He asked himself even more questions, but like
those previous, he had no answers. He
walked down the stairs like a zombie and encountered Aida in the kitchen once
more. “Vixen’s gone,” he told her in a
daze.
“What?”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Seeing that he was about to collapse where he
stood, Aida pushed him into a chair. “Are
you sure she’s not just outside?”
“She’s gone. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She left.” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> It was all he could do to answer her
questions. He had to look for her. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She couldn’t have gone far. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He attempted to rise from the chair, but Aida
pressed him back down gently but firmly. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He let her.
“Let me.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I’ll look outside.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She could have gone out the front door
without anyone noticing.” Silently, Aida
cursed her husband. This is not what she
wanted to be doing. She wanted to curl
up with a book before nodding off. She
didn’t want to head a manhunt.
Jeffrey was lost. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She had left him. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She had threatened so many times before, even
half-packed her suitcase at one point, but he had never really believed that
she would do it. He never really
believed she would leave. His mind was
reeling with the implications. What if
he never saw her again? What if she
never came back? True, if he died she
would probably press on to take care of the children – children which he would
never see – but if she died or left there would be nothing keeping him here. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> No reason to stay. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He still remembered the pain of thinking that
she was dead; the wanting to just fade away. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He nearly had. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> But then she had come back to him and
everything had been alright. He didn’t
feel the hope of that happening this time. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> This time she was gone, and he was lost.
Aida came back a
few minutes later, empty handed. Not
that she’d be able to force Salida inside . . . but her face let Jeffrey know
she hadn’t found anything.
“She’s really gone,”
he said, his voice cold and hollow. His
face had grown very pale and drawn, the bloodicratcratches an striking
contrast.
“Shh . . . she
could have just gone for a walk to cool down,” Aida urged, not wanting him to
jump to conclusions.
“She’s gone. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You didn’t see. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You don’t know. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She left.”
“You don’t know
either, so don’t jump to conclusions.”
Jeffrey ignored
her. “Why did she leave? style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I thought, she seemed alright.” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> His voice was still hollow and emotionless,
his body numb except for the gnawing pain of a gaping hole in his chest where
Salida had torn his heart out.
“What’s the last
thing you remember at dinner?” Aida asked gently.
“Vixen leaving. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She had said . . . something,” Jeffrey
responded automatically. “Why didn’t I
stop her?” he asked himself curiously.
“I don’t know, but
Sands did. Or at least he tried to.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She wanted to get into a fight and he obliged
her.”
“What . . . happened?”
Jeffrey asked coolly, rage beginning to kindle behind his eyes at the knowledge
that he might have someone to blame for Salida’s leaving.
“I don’t know, but
there was a lot of yelling. And Sands
said that he . . . he spanked her because she was acting like a child.”
“Repeat.” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Jeffrey couldn’t fucking believe his ears.
“He said she was
being childish . . . so he spanked her.”
Aida’s voice was very quiet. She
knew she could make both men mad at her, but she had to risk it anyway.
“And that’s . . . why
she left?” Jeffrey's voice was deceptively calm.
“I don’t know.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> style='mso-spacerun:yes'> But they yelled at each other for a long time
first. Maybe something was said. . .”
“What was said,
kitty?” His voice still kept that same
deceptive calm. Inside, he was just
about to be pushed off the edge.
“I didn’t
hear. I didn’t want to.”
Jeffrey rose from
his chair calmly, grabbed an empty glass in front of him and threw it against
the wall across the room, delighting in the way it shattered and the sound. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Sands,” he said coldly. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Whether it was a curse or Jeffrey calling him
out was unclear. In either case, Sands
didn’t come. Jeffrey’s rage was too
controlling at the moment for him to be able to.
Aida moved out of
close range, but she didn’t leave the room, not yet.
Jeffrey ignored
her. He was determined to tear the room
apart until Sands showed up. This only
increased his rage and made it even harder for Sands to show up. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Jeffrey couldn’t understand this, and that
pissed him off even more. He whirled on
Aida and glared at her. “What did they
fucking say? You’re a nosy little bitch,
you must have heard something,” Jeffrey hissed.
“There’s a lot of
walls between here and the entryway, Jeffrey.”
Her voice was chilly. She’d been
trying to help and he was repaying her by being rude.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “I’m telling you that all I heard was raised
voices.”
Jeffrey roared in
frustrated rage and threw something else against the wall. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He didn’t notice what it was, he just felt the
urge to break things. To destroy. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> To cut something to pieces. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> And that was what he would do. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He pushed past her and went in search of his
knives. He wouldn’t bother bringing the
gun. Guns were too impersonal for the
all-encompassing rage he was feeling right now. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He wanted to see someone die in his arms. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Right up close. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He wanted to watch the life fade from their
eyes. It had been too long.
/spa/span>Aida guessed his
intentions and blocked the entrance to the kitchen.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Jeffrey, don’t.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Sands told me about the nightmare and about
the show. This won’t help.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You need to stay here.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> What if she calls?”
“Get out of my way,
kitty. I won’t ask again.” style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He wasn’t going to sit around on his ass
waiting for something that may or may not happen. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He just wouldn’t. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He wanted to feel someone else’s blood hot on
his hands and he wanted it now. If kitty
wasn’t careful, it would be her.
“If you want to get
Sands’ attention, there’s other ways to do it.
Just don’t do something reckless because you’re mad.”
“Who said I want to
get Sands’ ntiontion? He’s not fucking
going anywhere. I’ll deal with him
later.” He pushed past her.
Aida grabbed his
arm and was promptly thrown into the wall for her trouble.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Her breath whooshed out of her as she hit the
wall, and she fell to her hands and knees.
“Warned you,” was
all Jeffrey had to say in response, dutifully searching the house for his two
long knives. After a few long minutes he
had found them both and strapped to his belt before retuning to the kitchen. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He didn’t necessarily know why he did, he
should have been out massacring by now, but his feet stopped in front of her
regardless.
Aida looked up at
him from the floor, and wondered what she’d gotten herself into.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Sands, help me,” she whispered, not daring
to hope that her husband would hear her.
“I’m not going to
fucking hurt you, kitty. But Sands isn’t
going to fucking help you either. And
you’re not going to fucking stop me.”
“Then stop
yourself. I know you’re worried about
your wife, but this isn’t going to help.”
Jeffrey grew very
still, his anger apparent just below the surface. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Why? This
is what I do, kitty.” He crouched down
in front of her, mindful of the knives strapped to his waist. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “I kill. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> It’s been awhile, granted – Sands got the last
one – but that doesn’t change anything. And
I’m not fucking worried about h
can fucking take care of herself.” He
was just covering and he knew it, but the knowledge didn’t show on his face.
“You’re scared for
her. For her and your children.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You don’t know where she is or what she’s
doing.”
Jeffrey slapped
her. It was a lot more noise than force,
and somewhat ironic coming from hiut hut he couldn’t stop himself. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Don’t go visiting my fucking intentions. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You have no fucking idea what I’m thinking so
don’t try,” he hissed once his right hand had stilled by his side.
Her face hurt,
Aid
Aida didn’t stop. It was the least she
could do because it’d also keep her husband safe.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “I’m right.
I can tell. You’re scared that
she’s doing something rash. But style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>you doing something rash won’t
help. She won’t know.”
“She won’t know
what? I’m doing this for style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>me.”
“You’re doing it to
get back at her.”
“I’m doing this
because I want to.”
“You’d rather find
her but you don’t know where to start.” style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>You’re helpless and you want to regain
control of something. Anything. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She wanted so badly to say that too him, but
she didn’t dare.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:normal'>No. He
didn’t. And that hurt. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Her leaving hurt. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> And what made it even more painful is that she
knew what leaving would do to him, and she she had done it anyway. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Without a word. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Without a word,” he repeated out loud, not
looking at Aida any longer. He sat
backwards and just stayed there, still not looking at her. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Why would she do this to me?” he asked
himself softly, feeling the gnawing of the hole in his chest return. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> The hot, frustrated rage he had been feeling
passed out of him slowly, leaving him feeling empty and useless.
“I don’t know.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I don’t how she’d react to whatever it was
Sands said, and I don’t know what he said.”
If Jeffrey had
heard her, he didn’t give any signs. He
merely rose to his feet and wandered out of the kitchen into the back yard. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He laid down in the hammock and simply tried
to be still. He wasn’t really trying to get
away from Aida, he just wanted quiet, and this seemed like the best place to
find it. That he had chosen Salida’s
refuge as well cut him, but he tried to push the pain away.
He didn’t know how
long it took, but Aida came out eventually.
He could hear her hesitant footsteps in the grass.
Aida thought that
perhaps he’dlen len asleep, but the call she’d just gotten couldn’t wait.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> The phone was still in her hand, waiting for
Jeffrey to answer.
She reached the
side of the hammock and held out her arm.
“Umm . . . phone for you. It’s
our prodigal.”
Jeffrey didn’t move
save for his eyes, which looked up at Aida and her outstretched arm slowly. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He wa to to believe her, that Salida really
was on the phone for him, but he couldn’t make himself. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He merely turned his head a little away from
her and waited for her to leave.
“Jeffrey . . . Salida’s
the the phone. She doesn’t sound . . . she
doesn’t sound well. She keeps talking
about how she forgot her toothbrush.”
Jeffrey closed his
eyes, trying to block her voice ouut hut his hand moved without his control to
take the phone from her. He brought it to his ear and whispered, “Vixen.” n
sn
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He couldn’t manage anything more than that at
the moment. It was too hard.
“I forgot my
toothbrush.” Her voice was distant and
confused. “Jeffrey, I can’t sleep until
I’ve brushed my teeth and I don’t have a toothbrush.”
“Where are you,
Salida?” he asked softly. “I’ll bring
your toothbrush if you want.” His voice
sed red resigned.
“I-I don’t know. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I walked.
And then I took a cab. And now I’m
here.”
“Look around,
Salida. Tell me what you see.”
“I-I’m in a
bedroom. There’s a balcony.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> The door on the bathroom looks new.”
Jeffrey knew where
she was. “I’ll be there soon, Salida. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> With your toothbrush.”
“I’m cold,” she
whispered.
“I’m coming. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Don’t worry. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Get in the bed under the covers. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I’ll find you.”
“Okay.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She hung up before he could say anything
else.
Jeffrey listened to
the dial tone for a minute before letting the phone slip out of his hand to the
ground and got up off the hammock and made his way into the house to find Sands’
keys. He was half aware that Aida was
following him.
“I take it you know
where she is?” Aida hung the phone back
up, and went to lean against the table.
Her back was killing her, but she’d take something after Jeffrey had left.
Jeffrey nodded. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Hotel. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Home,” he said succinctly, stuffing his keys
into his pocket. “Needs her toothbrush.”
“Just go get
her. Make sure you watch traffic.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You won’t get there any faster if you get
into an accident.”
Jeffrey nodded
absently and made his way out the door and into the Porsche, trying to keep
Aida’s words in the forefront of his mind as he raced toward his wife, and
trying not to think about what she would say when he got there.