The Trace Which Remains

Sorry this took so long! My muses needed a little vacation- I'd been running them ragged for a continuous month.

Here we go!

Chapter 3:... or dying without...

Leia watched her brother go slack in the arms of the man that he called their father. Anakin's arms supported the weight of the smaller man, and Leia saw him turn Luke's head from dangling loosely to resting on his shoulder. A sorrowful expression passed over the broad, pale face of the older Skywalker.

She had no idea how to treat Anakin without being brutal. She was still struggling with admitting his preferred name.

Anakin knelt, cradling Luke in his arms, and Leia observed as dispassionately as she could- part of her wanted to find proof that he was Vader, part of her wanted confirmation that he had changed.

She didn't like her feelings to be so ambivalent.

The medic was a tall, mild-faced human with pale blond hair and spectacles. He rushed over to the inert form of Luke with a quick yet unharried sprint, bearing a foldable hover-stretcher. He bent by Anakin and Luke, and asked, "What happened to him?"

"Force-created lightning."

The medic stared for a split second before murmuring, "Sith lightning?"

"Yes."

Unfolding the framework of the stretcher, the medic nodded slowly, appreciatively. "It's a wonder he's alive, let alone in such good shape. I'm certain he'll be fine, though."

Anakin brushed sandy hair from Luke's eyes, and pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead. "I hope so."

The medic glanced up with undisguised suspicion, before gesturing to Anakin to place Luke on the stretcher. Anakin seemed reluctant to release Luke, but carefully laid the young man out on the hovering stretcher, crossing his hands over his stomach in a way that Leia could only describe as tender.

The medic pulled out a card, and scrawled a note on the back of it. "I'm taking him up to Home One- the medical frigate was wiped out during the battle. Ask for Myka Severeth's offices- they'll redirect you to where I'll be taking the commander."

Anakin's eyes shadowed slightly- just for a nanosecond, and Leia was sure she was the only one who noticed. He asked, "I can't go with him?"

Severeth- Leia knew she hadn't seen or heard of him, but it WAS a big Alliance- shook his head sharply. "Don't know your face, pal. The commander has no relatives- and only relatives are permitted access to the patients this early in the treatment. Look for my offices- by then I'll have a full report on the commander's status, and you might be able to visit him- if his condition is stable."

With a deep breath, Anakin finally nodded. Leia could tell that he was unhappy at being forced apart from his son, but he didn't press the matter. He placed a soft kiss on Luke's forehead, squeezed the still hands, and stood up, allowing the physician to take Luke away. He turned to Leia for a brief moment, and she saw tears in those eyes that were so much like Luke's.

As he realized she had been watching him, Anakin flinched visibly. Leia remarked silently that he wasn't very good at masking his expressions.

He seemed to hear her unspoken musing, though, for his face suddenly became unreadable, blank. She caught a wave of guilt, then, before he cloaked his emotions as well.

His low, softspoken voice asked, "Is there something you want, Highness?"

She rolled her eyes in frustration and shook her head before turning away.

Anakin kicked himself for his reactions to the Princess' thoughts. First he overreacted, then he underemoted. Years of hiding behind a physical mask had made it unnecessary for him to hide his outward expressions- but his Jedi training kicked in when he had picked up the Princess' mental criticism, and he instinctively blocked his mind.

She apparantly hadn't liked either reaction- and Anakin was beginning to think that it would be even more tricky to gain her trust.

As he felt his son's presence taken further away by that doctor, Anakin loosened his mental barriers, forcing himself to remain open to the Princess, so she would not have more reason to suspect deceit.

He didn't like being separated from Luke for an instant- he wanted to be there to comfort the boy, to hold him and try to heal him on his own. Something was strange about the medic, although Anakin didn't sense any tricks or falsehoods. He didn't inherently trust the doctor- or anyone, for that matter- but he knew with the Force that there was no ill intent.

Flopping to the ground unceremoniously, he ran his fingers through his hair, which felt much better than he had remembered from the ancient past before his mistakes. Resting his head in his hands, he tried to clear his mind of negativity.

Captain- no, General- Solo sat down in front of him, and asked, "You okay, buddy?" Anakin looked up and saw genuine concern in Solo's hazel eyes. Surprised, he allowed himself a small grin.

"I'm scared as hell, but otherwise... absolutely confounded."

"I feel that way every day I deal with these Force-types. Does the real world confuse you people?"

"I'm not sure what you mean by 'the real world,' Solo. It's all real to me- it's not like I can compare what it's like to live with the Force to living without it. I've been actively using since I was nine."

Solo nodded, and shrugged. "I hope it's less confusing to you than it is to me."

With a snort of laughter, Anakin shook his head. "It would be impossible for it to not be."

Indignantly, Solo responded with, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"That the universe confuses us all, General Solo- and it confuses us equally. It just makes different things confuse different people- otherwise we'd all be idiots that made the same mistakes over and over again."

Leia apparently overheard this, and asked, "What about the people who ARE those type of idiots?"

"We run from them. Very quickly."

Leia stared at this strange man, as he cracked a half-serious joke about what to do in the event of terminal stupidity. She couldn't keep a bitter tone out of her voice as she returned, "Like we ran from you?"

He winced, and nodded. "My stupidity was abnormally... dangerous. Never give someone who thinks they're invincible a way to try to prove it."

It made a strange kind of sense, which disturbed Leia because of its source. She asked, "What do you think we should do about you? What if you slip into the Dark side again?" She crossed her arms, and stared down at the man who was, for once, looking up at her as he sat.

"Then I hope that you would be as kind as to kill me quickly, so I may not have time to cause all of the trouble that I did last time."

She frowned, and pressed further. "Do you think that you deserve mercy just because you've stopped being actively stupid? Merely because you killed one of our enemies?"

He didn't take her bait, and she was impressed. His answer was level, calm, but melancholy. "I do not seek mercy- I seek a chance to correct my crimes. I know it is not likely that any of my victims will receive the same chance I have to live once more, but I hope to be able to make amends for my actions."

She sighed, and began to acknowledge that perhaps he had a point. He was no good to them dead- but he wasn't a harm either. However, she wasn't so sure that he was a threat anyway.

Han asked, "Do you think you can be a Jedi again?"

Anakin seemed as shocked as Leia at the suggestion, and he looked down at his hands as though they were covered with invisible stains. Sadly, he replied, "I wish I could be. I fear that it may be impossible."

Leia decided to touch Anakin on the shoulder, for the first time. In his words she heard an echo of Luke's, after the destruction of the Death Star.

/"My hands are covered in the blood of all of those people, Leia. I was the one to pull the trigger- no one else. I killed them... and I'm not sure if a real Jedi would have. I wish there could have been another way- one where people didn't have to die."/

Memories of the Death Star swam in her head, bringing unwelcome ideas, unbidden thoughts. She realized that she held Anakin's shoulder in the same way he- 'Vader'- had held hers as the battle station annihilated her home, her family, her life...

But Vader hadn't been the one to give the order to destroy the planet- Tarkin was. And Tarkin was dead with the Death Star.

And Vader was dead with its successor.

The man sitting cross-legged in front of her, underneath her hand, was not Vader. Not anymore. She sat beside him, and quietly assured him, "I know there will be a way you can pay for your past- I will fight for it."

Astonished, both men turned to her. She continued, more certain of herself. "If you really want to let everyone know you used to be Vader, then you can be certain that they will try you for war crimes. I know the Alliance Charter by heart. There is a slavery clause- one which can be used in your case. I do not want to admit my relationship to you- but I would be willing to be your arbiter."

Surprise and hope filled those sky-clear eyes, and Anakin Skywalker smiled at her. He nodded, and murmured, "Thank you, your Highness."

For the first time, she allowed herself to smile back.