Fear and Loathing in Baltimore COMPLETE

The car sped down the interstate at a speed that made Wade grip the door handle with so much might, his knuckles were white. When they had left Allison’s grandmother’s home a mere twenty minutes earlier, a warm spring rain had just begun. However, in the intense minutes on the road, the rain quickly became a monsoon and the road was barely visible. Wade felt himself stomping down on an imaginary brake, hoping to send some kind of signal to Allison, but she was oblivious to anything he was transmitting. Her face was contorted with anger and he had no choice but to sit in helpless anxiety as she ranted at top speed.

“That son of a bitch! He really thought that was gonna happen. What an egotistical, misogynistic bastard.”

Wade was still not sure of what exactly had happened back in that office. From what he could gather, from Allison’s cursing and yelling, Baldwin had offered to remove himself from her grandmother’s will, providing she offered him something in return. Allison didn’t say what that was, but Wade realized it didn’t take a genius to figure out what Baldwin was after. He still carried a torch for Allison, even after all these years. Wade almost felt sad for the guy, stooping so low to blackmail as a way to get the woman he wanted into bed. Wade had had his share of lonely nights when the opposite end of the bed was left cold and even he knew that what Baldwin had tried would backfire. But Allison was having a hard time letting it go. Her fury shook through her body, causing her to veer the car all over the road.

“Of all the lowdown dirty schemes! To use my grandmother’s will. He should rot in hell!” With that, she stepped even harder on the gas and the car accelerated to a dangerous speed. Wade knew that if he didn’t say something soon, they would be going first.

“Allsion, for god’s sake, slow down. Killing ourselves ain’t gonna solve anything.” He had wanted to sound more comforting but his fear took over. All Wade wanted was to get Allison off the road. And with a heart-stopping turn, Allison drove the car off the road, finally turning off the ignition.

They sat in silence for a long time, the rain slapping down on the windows and roof of the car. Allison still gripped the steering wheel, looking out the window, into the rain. She seemed lost in a thought she didn’t want to have. Wade could see her eyes filling with tears yet she wasn’t crying. Her body was tense and her jaw tight but her lips were still. He searched his mind to find something to say but could think of nothing. He wanted to hold her, kiss her, tell her how he felt but something held him back. Finally, Allison took and huge breath and without looking at him, began to speak.

“I’m going back to New York tomorrow Wade.”

He felt his chest sink as he looked out the window. “Yeah, I figured that.”

She turned to look at him. “Is that all you can say?”

“What do you want me to say Allison?” He was trying to keep his voice calm but he wasn’t able to. There was a slight tremor and he hated his lack of self-control. “You want me to beg you to stay? You want me to tell you you’ll be happier here? I can’t do that. As much as I want you here there’s nothing I can do to keep you. So, it’s best not to say anything.”

The tears began to fall from her eyes and Wade wanted so desperately to wipe them away and hold her. “I can’t be without you again Wade. I don’t know how I’ll make it.”

He looked down at his trembling hands. “Oh god Allison, what do you want from me? I have nothing to offer you.”

“You could come with me.”

Wade felt something swirl in him, a feeling he hadn’t had in a long time ad he looked up to meet Allison’s eyes. “You want me to go with you to New York?”

“I can’t stay in this town Wade. I’ll crumble here. But I’ll also fall apart if I’m not with you. There’s nothing keeping you here Wade. Come with me.”

Wade looked ahead at the rain pouring down and imagined a life with Allison in New York. He imagined her realizing what a loser he was. How he had nothing to give her and that in the end he would just let her down. She thought she needed him and lord knew, he needed her. But the thought of her finding out he was nothing, a nobody, hurt even more.

“Allison, I’m not the man you remember. I don’t even know myself. I’m never going to make you happy…not the way you deserve to be. I’m a waste of your time. You don’t want me going to New York with you.”

Allison glared at him as a tear fell from her cheek, creating a dark blue mark on her suit. She looked as if she were about to lash out, her body was so stiff. Instead she quickly opened the door and ran out into the rain. Wade watched her as she stepped out, instantly soaking her clothes and ran out to her.

“How dare you tell me what I want and don’t want.” She yelled at him, the rain dampening her hair and seeping through the material of her suit. Wade felt his t-shirt clinging to his body in the rain, his jeans becoming soaked through to his legs. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted Wade. No other man has made me feel the way you do. It’s just been one day and already I’m happier than I’ve been in the last 10 years. I love you Wade.”

That stopped him in his tracks. He looked at her, her eyes glowing with a sincerity he’s never seen before in anyone. It was a moment he had dreamed about, prayed for. Allison loved him. He felt his whole body go weak and used all the strength he could muster to walk over to her. He brushed the damp hair from her forehead, watching the rain mingle with her tears on her face.

“I love you too, Allison. In a way I never thought possible.”

She looked up at him. “Then come with me Wade. Please come with me.”

He smiled down at her, caressing her cheek with his thumb. “Ok.”

She smiled through her tears and wrapped her arms around his neck as he bent down to kiss her. The rain poured over them, washing away everything else. The past was wiped clean, and they could feel in as they enveloped one another with their bodies and poured themselves into their kiss.

********************************

Wade glanced around the small apartment, taking note of all his possessions. It would be easy to pack, he realized. There was nothing here he wanted. The most important item he owned was the secret picture he kept. However, he now had the subject of that picture laying her head on his chest as they lay in bed. It made the picture obsolete. All Allison had asked him to bring was his guitar. The rest could rot away in the apartment for all he cared.

He looked down at Allison, her face turned away from him, her hair a blond river sprayed across his naked chest. He could hear her breathing and felt the warmth of her cheek pressed against him. Her leg was stretched over his beneath the covers, as if it were holding him in place. He liked knowing that he belonged to her. However, he was left wondering if she belonged to him.

“Allison?” She turned her head to look up at him. Her hair was slightly mussed and her cheeks were still flushed from making love. She was more beautiful than he had ever seen and he wanted to always remember her just like this. “Why do you love me, Allison?”

She smiled. “Because you feel like home.”

He couldn’t have said it better himself.