Soul of a Survior

Lost Soul of a Survivor
By: Carissa Tovar
Chapter 3: When Paths Cross


Time feels as if it rushes like the waterfalls of Naboo. But then It feels as if it doesn’t move quickly like some of the frozen planets of the outer rim. I’ve seen many things in my life. At times I think that I have seen everything. I’ve heard so many rumors it not even funny it confuses me really.

I’ve heard of a man named Vader. He was the one that killed my friends. He’s the one that killed Anakin. Which in turn killed Padme.

I don’t remember the last time I visited Leia. I think it was about a year before last since I was getting myself ready to see her once again. Bail Organa had organized a small party for me which was funny since I nearly forgot about my own birthday.
It would be my fifteenth birthday.. Five years since Padme’s death. I let out a sigh as I sat closer to the window. Dorme had decided to join me this month she wanted to catch a glimpse of Leia.

I was happy to have the company and she felt the same way too. We were landing on Alderran Bail’s and Leia’s home planet. Once we landed we were greeted by Bail. He was over joyed to see us both. He wasn’t alone he was being escorted by a boy, he seemed two years older than me. He had the most beautiful blue grey eyes and sandy blonde hair.

He helped Dorme with her things as we all followed behind Bail. Dorme, Artoo and I walked closely behind him. We were abit tired and confused on why out of all these years a party. “Its perfect timing for you three to arrive. Leia has begun to forget your last visit.” Bail told us sadly. “She wants you to stay this time..” he added as I rubbed the back of my head.

The boy behind him looked at me then away from me quickly. I shrugged it off. “Hayden don’t be quiet boy. Speak these ladies won’t harm you…”Bail began as he elbowed him into a few words.

“I… I Umm… Rather not master Bail. May I wait till later once I know I’m ready.” He said in a soft warm voice. He continued to walk it seemed he wasn’t very focused since the poor guy fell. I was about to warn him but it was too late. Oops. I nearly giggled at the sight I bent down to lend him a hand up but he looked away and got up on his own. Bail shook his head and continued.

My poor Hayden. Once we arrived to the home of Bail Organa a young five year old girl came racing down the hall. “PADME!!” She screeched as she nearly threw herself at me but jumped instead into my arms. ’EEP!!’ Was the sound that left my lips as we flew backwards onto an unsuspecting Hayden. Luckily he cushioned our fall. I believed I injured him. Poor poor Hayden.

I lifted Leia from the ground as I too stood up. I once again offered Hayden a hand up but he refused. I had no time to ask him why he continued to refuse me. ‘How Are you?’ I asked Leia sweetly as she hugged me tightly. “Your not going anywhere.. Anymore.” She ordered. I simply rolled my eyes as I patted her head. ‘I always have a good reason to go and return… You know that.’ I told her softly.

I was then lead off to the small crowd of friends as Leia continued to press reasons for me to stay. All very good but I came up with a better excuse to go. Hayden watched me from a distance during the small party. I was nearly over whelmed by gifts and luck trinkets. ‘I can only take so much.’ I said softly as I looked at some of the fine clothing they gave me. Some of it I would feel strange in.

The Jampor snippet felt strange around my neck. I have been wearing it for five years and it still felt off to me. Hayden looked at me as I escaped the guests trying to convince me to stay. Jar Jar was there I nearly felt my anger rise. I knew it was he that gave Palpitine the power he desired. It was him that I blamed or tried too anyway.

I finally escaped as I hid behind one of the pillars. I sank to the ground and drew up my legs. I could feel my heart rip to pieces. Padme should be here! Anakin Should be with her! They both should be alive!! I felt my mind shout. And then when those thoughts left me Hayden appeared with a small gift in his hand as he sat next to me. “I heard the rumors about you.. I hear you were the friend of the great Jedi and Senator that tried to stop this senseless war.” He whispered as He handed me the gift. It fit in the palm of my hand as I smiled weakly at him. ‘Why do you speak to me now? Why did you refuse my help?’ I asked him as I looked at the small charm in my hand.

“You will know in time.. Angel that shines the light of hope on those who have gotten lost in the darkness.” He whispered softly. I felt my face grow warm and looked away. ‘Thank you..’ I said softly as I placed it on the chain with the snippet. “May our paths cross again my Lady. I wish to see your smile.. Since it brings joy to my heart.” He said as he got up and left.

I sat there in a daze. Did he just? Did he just say I was an Angel? I wounderd. I shrugged it off as I knew it was time to go once again. I did my farewells once again as I left Dorme here. It was time for me to go on my own for abit. Artoo waited peacefully on the ship he was whooting happily since he got repaired and cleaned.

I had to make another promise before I was allowed to leave. I could feel something calling me through the force. I tried to shake it off during the next week but failed. What in force would be waiting for me on Dagobeh. R2 punched in the coordinates and we moved closer to the planet.

Luckily for us we were drawing closer to it anyway. We were going to visit the remains of my beloved Naboo hoping to catch a glimpse of hope and light. We landed the ship onto the swampy land as I felt the emptiness in the ship’s bridge.

No Dorme. I made her stay on Alderran I told her I needed some time alone. I fiddled with the chain around my neck both charms clanked together. I let out a soft sigh of frustration. I prepared myself as I neared the ship’s exit with the saber at my side as I walked out. That was when I felt it. The familiar presence near by. ‘Yoda?’ I called out into the damp night air. It was cold and dark. I could feel the hairs on my neck stand on end.

I crept farther into the swamp lands searching for master Yoda. I was beginning to feel the chills from the air since my clothes were drenched by the nights hard rain. My breath looked like fog when I exhaled. ‘Yoda’ I called out once again. No response. I continued on walking and it seemed I reached the heart of the swamp lands. At the heart lay a small home.

I crept closer as I peered through the crusted old window. I smiled as I watched yoda sitting on an old beat up chair in front of a warm roaring fire. I must have been a sight to see since I was drenched. He smiled and motioned for me to enter.

“Mmm .. Padme expecting you I was…”He said softly as he motioned for me to sit down. “Much training ahead for you.. Very good in dealing against the dark side you will be.” He added.

I did what I was told. For the next few days…or rather months I learned all seven of the light saber forms. At times I felt my blisters or bruises had some of there own. I trained in the rain… and in the scorching heat of the two suns of that planet. There were moments I wanted to quit and let despair contaminate my heart.

When I slept in the ship I was overwhelmed by bad dreams. Nightmares of Lady Padme’s Suffering. I caught glimpses of her pain. I felt her final moments. Those moments were like daggers through my heart.

For me those four months on Dagobeh were difficult yet they were the most rewarding. I felt as if the blood, sweat, and tears I shed were finally catching up to me. I felt numb to the heat and the cold during the second month there. I ate Little and focused most of my energy on my training. I still kept my promise as I sent a holo to Luke, Leia, Obi Wan, and Dorme every few days.

One night scared me or did it comfort me? It probably did both. In this dream I felt a gentle caress on my cheek as I opened my eyes only to stare into deep blue orbs. I felt safe for that moment as I felt my muscles relax. Then it changed in a blink of an eye those same eyes were full of rage and hatred. My air was cut off as I gasped for breath. I felt as if I was moved away from those eyes by something that made me feel safe. I turned and faced those blue gray eyes that reassured me I’d be safe.

I woke up the next morning tired and confused. This was my last day on Dagobeh I took my time walking back to yoda trying to clear my mind from my troubled night mare. By the time I returned to my master I was a bit muddy from falling or slipping in the swap lands. Once I saw master Yoda I bowed and smiled. ‘I must leave again.’ I said softly as I stood up once again.

“Don’t let your heart turn cold for you will be tempted by the dark side to hate.” Were the last words I heard from master Yoda as I played them over and over in my head as I got back to the ship. Once there I stretched and heard the bones in my back crack. I knew I was tired r2 started the ship and we left the swamp planet. I laid down on the soft mattress and closed my eyes. I knew both pairs of eyes from the dream.

The first pair were those of master Anakin. The second pair were those of Onasi. I knew it must have been a strange feeling but I believe Skywalker is alive and well. I don’t know how but it’s a feeling in my heart that tells me he lives.

I guess it was time for me to relax. After four months of training and horrible dreams it was high time for me to visit my favorite kid. And I bet Luke missed me anyway. What was his last holo of me looking ragged or of my looking stronger yet upset? I sat up and pried myself from the bed and went to visit R2. I made sure he was in tip top shape. Since I did his maintenance of course my little droid would always be top of the line. I cleaned him up and then went back to the bed and relaxed.

But the things I saw in this slumber were things I wish I could easily forget. Images that caused me to panic or fret upon. No matter I shall deal with it all when the time comes.