For This Moment

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Chapter 4

/Six years before the twins' births/


It had been almost twenty days since Anakin had been able to slip away from Obi-Wan’s watchful eyes and meet Quinn. When the older man opened the door, he had given a shout of pleased recognition and then hauled Anakin into a crushing embrace. They had stumbled into Quinn’s apartment and then started to kiss hotly in the foyer, hands roaming beneath tunics to caress soft skin below, fingers twining in hair to the point of pain, lips and tongues melding together.

With a groan, Anakin roughly pushed Quinn up against the wall and devoured his mouth, hungry for Quinn’s taste. Quinn allowed the exuberant kiss, indeed returned it just as enthusiastically and used his hands to cant Anakin’s hips closer to him, so that the younger man could feel the erection that had resulted from his touch. What the young Jedi lacked in skill, he certainly made up for with enthusiasm.

Anakin’s eyes sparked blue fire and he grabbed Quinn by the hand, leading him to the couch. There, Quinn resisted a bit and laughed softly. “I DO have a bed, you know.”

Flushing slightly, Anakin nodded. “Where?” he asked in a husky rasp. It seemed to be the only sound he could get out of his mouth, well that and lots of moans, he mused. He was trembling, for Quinn had constantly been in his thoughts, leaving him hard and aching at inconvenient times. It seemed that every time he closed his eyes at night he would hear Quinn’s husky voice whispering in his ear, “That’s it, baby. Come for me.” And Anakin would roll over with a groan, torn between trying to find satisfaction in his own hand or trying to tamp down the desire the memory evoked.

There had been times the need had been too great, and so he had worked himself to a quick orgasm. But it had been perfunctory, a way to relieve the stress and nothing more. Now that he knew how wonderful another’s touch felt, he longed for it. He feared the older man’s attentions had quite spoiled him.

Quinn took the young man’s hand with a devilish smile and led him toward a door. He opened it and led Anakin inside. It was small, but clean, dominated by a big bed covered in a soft dark blue fabric. Taking the Jedi by surprise, for the younger man’s eyes had been locked on the bed – tantalized and frightened by what it promised – he pushed Anakin down on the bed. Quinn joined him there a moment later.

Rolling with Anakin in his arms so that he was beneath the young Jedi, Quinn kissed a hot trail down Anakin’s neck. He pushed aside the cumbersome Jedi tunics and licked at the flesh he found there. Anakin moaned and ground his erection down against Quinn, who answered with a snap of his own hips. Panting, Quinn’s lips moved up to Anakin’s ear. “I’ve been dreaming of you,” he whispered. “Dreaming of having you here in my bed.” Anakin quivered as Quinn continued. “And now I’m fit to burst.” Quinn took Anakin’s hand and placed it over his hardened cock. “Feel that?” he asked huskily. “Do you feel how much I want you?”

In answer, Anakin sat up and began throwing off his tunics, slipping them free of the belt. For a moment, Quinn admired the sight of the dark belt against the golden flesh of Anakin’s belly. Then Anakin removed his utility belt, leaving him in leggings and boots. As his fingers moved to the fastening of his leggings, Quinn’s hands stopped him. “Let ME do that.” He gestured for Anakin to stand and then got off the bed as well. Anakin stood, trembling with excitement, as Quinn’s fingers moved to his boots first. He struggled with the buckles of the right one, but made much quicker work of the left boot.

After those impediments were taken care of, Quinn smiled and moved his attention to the leggings, which were tented by an eager erection. Before he removed them, he brought his mouth over that hard length of flesh and breathed, the hot air bathing Anakin’s skin and tearing a harsh moan from his throat. His hands clutched in Quinn’s hair and the older man looked up with a mischievous grin. “You haven’t seen anything yet,” he promised in a sultry voice. Then he opened Anakin’s leggings and pushed them down his slim hips and long, powerful legs. When Anakin was completely nude, he smiled. “Gods, you’re even more beautiful than I dreamed.”

Quinn’s hands went to Anakin’s hips as his tongue lapped at the droplet of fluid gathered on the tip of his straining cock. Anakin grunted and tried to thrust into that warm haven, but the firm hands on his hips stopped him. Then Quinn’s mouth suddenly moved down the length of Anakin’s erection and he was completely engulfed in that tight, wet heat.

The older man began a rhythm that grew steadily faster and then one hand left Anakin’s hip to stoke him or gently cup the sac beneath. Anakin thrust into Quinn’s mouth over and over again, mindless in his need. Without warning, he cried out and heard Quinn swallowing frantically, trying to keep up.

To Anakin, it seemed he came forever with Quinn’s mouth sucking every drop from his flesh. When it was over at last, Quinn rose gracefully to his feet and cupped Anakin’s face in his hands. When his tongue swept into the younger man’s mouth, he tasted himself and groaned at the idea. It was incredibly erotic to think of spending himself in Quinn’s mouth and then tasting the salty, slightly bitter flavor of his own seed.

With a grin, the older man sat down on the bed and pulled Anakin to join him. “Come here,” he pleaded. “We aren’t done yet,” he said as he slipped his hands into his own pants and freed his erection. He turned and looked at the gorgeous young man sprawled on his bed. “Do you think you’d like to do that for me someday?” he asked, his voice raspy.

Anakin’s eyes went to Quinn’s erection, noting the way his long fingers were wrapped around it, remembering how they had felt wrapped around his own cock, stroking him to sweet oblivion. Swallowing hard, swallowing all of his fear and apprehension, he gave a small nod. “Why not today?” he responded in an uncertain voice.

Quinn’s expression was solemn as he brushed back hair from Anakin’s sweaty brow. “Are you sure?” His voice betrayed his uncertainty, his refusal to push the younger man too quickly into intimacies he was not yet ready to experience.

“I want to learn…” Anakin answered shyly.

Laughing softly, Quinn, pulled Anakin close. “Now that’s what I was hoping you’d say…”


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I smile as Anakin finishes his story.

Slowly, he has been sharing with me what made him into the man he is. In time, we will discuss Padmé, and his feelings for her. As I hear about Quinn, I am overcome by two emotions. One is shame. Not shame in Anakin or what he shared with Quinn, but that I did not notice what was occurring. Even with Padmé, I did not know the depth of his commitment to her. She is a ghost that still haunts us in more ways than one.

My second emotion is the gratitude I owe to Quinn. Now I can only thank the Force that Quinn was a gentle lover who initiated Anakin sweetly into the ways of physical love. Without knowing it, this Quinn planted a seed within my beloved, making it possible for him to admit he loves me and allows him to respond so generously to my touch. I wonder where Quinn is now, and I have to tamp down a surge of jealousy. Nothing in Anakin’s demeanor suggests that he and Quinn still have any sort of relationship, and if I am practical I know that it was hard enough for him to find the opportunity to sneak away to be with Padmé, much less another lover. I put Quinn from my thoughts.

As he starts to fall asleep in my arms, I admit to myself that I do not think I could bear it if he found satisfaction in another’s arms. It would kill me as surely as if he took his saber to my heart. I try to fall asleep, somewhat lulled by the warmth of his body against mine, the rhythm of his breathing. For now, he is mine and I am his. I will find joy in the here and now, and let the future take care of itself.


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